posted July 21, 2013 12:02 PM            

You can only give so much, others have to do their share. Your sun and moon have a great grasp on reality

posted July 21, 2013 12:41 PM            

Where does Virgo loyalty lie?

In my experience, and all you Virgos please dont get me wrong, this is in MY experience, cause my life has always been full of them, their loyalty seems to lie in themselves.

posted July 21, 2013 02:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Pisces-Sweety:
*sits next to sss and hug u* :-*

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posted July 21, 2013 02:16 PM            

There's nothing wrong with giving just to be nice - actually, that's a wonderful thing that makes Virgo and Pisces so special. <3

You know, it's tough being a typical giving person and yes, it makes us feel useful and liked, so of course we feel a bit empty when we don't get to do what we're so good at. It's good to keep doing it, but like others said, make sure there are boundaries. It could help to start with not offering help anymore, wait for others to ask you instead. Make them put in more effort to get what they want. And give as much attention to yourself as you give to others. That's so important... and I'm speaking as another idealistic, hardcore giver here.

It's okay to be mad about this. When you keep feeling taken advantage of, those bad feelings keep boiling. Oh boy does it hurt to give a lot and not even get a thank you - I'm sorry you've met so many people like that.

No need to change what you do, just make sure you give a lot of love to yourself as well. You deserve it. <3

posted July 21, 2013 02:59 PM            

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Sun in Virgo conjunct Venus ( 11th House )
Moon in Libra
Rising sign Libra

Honesty is Confidence - Hoodie Allen

posted July 21, 2013 03:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by beckylee:
I have always wanted to know how Virgos see love.

Do you really fall in love or do you actually want to help the other person feel better ?

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Help the other person feel better
Just felt like answering

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Sun in Virgo conjunct Venus ( 11th House )
Moon in Libra
Rising sign Libra

Honesty is Confidence - Hoodie Allen

posted July 21, 2013 03:28 PM            

virgos give expecting to receive even before giving.
with virgos, they always like to charge what they've done for you, as if they were a human cashier....'but i did this' and.....'after all i did', with this indirect guilt-trip, exaggeration...

posted July 23, 2013 12:05 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Then apply your analytical skills when choosing people you become close to.

If you see that they're not in it 100%, don't give them 100%.

Learn to control yourself.

Otherwise people will keep taking advantage of you.

At some point, you gotta realize that you're doing something wrong.

Change your attitude.

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posted July 23, 2013 10:42 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hippichick:
I have a question re: Virgos and it is kind of related to this topic...

Where does Virgo loyalty lie?

In my experience, and all you Virgos please dont get me wrong, this is in MY experience, cause my life has always been full of them, their loyalty seems to lie in themselves.

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Hi Hippichick,
Virgo Sun, Jupiter, Uranus and Pluto here. How are ya? I'm not exactly sure what your question means yet I find it very interesting. I'll answer it with my interpretation, which may end up answering other questions people have asked.

I'm loyal in the sense I'm not going to be nice to your face and tell you I like you or call you friend and then go behind your back and talk all kinds of bad stuff about you.

If you tell me something you don't want the world to know, I keep it to myself and a lot of times I'll use my own discretion and not talk about things that aren't big secrets because I'm a big believer in do unto others as you would have them do unto you and I'm a very private person and wouldn't want someone just talking randomly about my life to other people without my okay. So, in that sense I am very loyal.

But depending on your definition of loyal, I suppose I can come across as disloyal because I tend to see things objectively, and when you are telling me something where you are in the wrong and the other person is in the right, just for example, I'll come right out and tell you my thoughts about it. Even if I love you and can't stand the other person, I will say you are wrong and they are right and why I see it that way.

Ideally, I feel like there should be a balance in how much you think of others and do for others and how much you think of and do for yourself, but when it comes down to having to make a choice, it should be all about you. That is where your ultimate loyalties should lie.

I've spent many years struggling to find that balance because what happens when you are more focused on the other person and what is right and good for them, sometimes instead of giving you nothing in return, they take for granted that you will always be there looking out for them no matter what, and they give you the worst of themselves. When that happens, and it goes on for a bit that is when the score keeping starts to happen. It's like how could you treat me like this after all I've done for you type of thing. I did this and this is what I get...

When I say I expect nothing in return, that is what I mean. Appreciation is nice and appreciated but nothing works too. What doesn't work is being crapped on in return. But I have found no one gives you nothing. It's one or the other.

In the cases of being crapped on, it's like this, if I love you and I've committed myself to helping you, both my feelings for you and the commitment I made keep me trying even though I should have given up a long time ago. It's when the scales have you way up there just about as far as it will go, and me just as close to the bottom as I can get is when the crap hits the fan and the ride is over. I'm feeling very bad toward the person and they are like wtf when I not only run off a string of horrible words about them but when I walk away from the situation and I don't come back to it.

They don't understand because I have been putting up with their crap all that time being steadfast, loyal and responsible so to them it's all of a sudden I'm being this way. Though they can be blamed for taking advantage, they can't be blamed for not getting it because of all my prior actions and words and by that time words I've said before but put no action behind lead them to believe I would never just leave them in the lurch.

By the time the whole cycle goes around, what started out as good intentions turns into a lot of hurt and disillusionment and no one is the better off for it.

That's why the balance is so important. Doing what you can but walking away the moment you start to feel like you're being taken advantage of or when things just don't feel good anymore, regardless of the place the other person is at because if you think about it, they are there for a reason and if you are there to help them and they are not even trying to utilize it one of two things is happening, either you are not the person to help them, or they don't really want to be helped. In either case, the more energy you exert on that person's situation, the worse it's going to get for you and it's not selfish to not want it to get to that point, but it is ignorant to believe it won't. It also takes away from those who really do need you.

I'm in my mid forties and have only very recently was able to put it all together and realize all this. Since coming to this realization I haven't had the opportunity to see if I've really learned anything though. Hopefully, I have.

Well, since I've gone kind of overboard any way, here's my chart for anyone who is interested.

posted July 23, 2013 06:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by appleorangepear:
So difficult being a virgo sometimes because we just love to give, it's what makes us happy. But sometimes we need to remember that people did not ask for these things, so why are we so mad when we don't get things back in return?

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posted July 24, 2013 09:35 PM            

quote:

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When I say I expect nothing in return, that is what I mean. Appreciation is nice and appreciated but nothing works too. What doesn't work is being crapped on in return. But I have found no one gives you nothing. It's one or the other.

They don't understand because I have been putting up with their crap all that time being steadfast, loyal and responsible so to them it's all of a sudden I'm being this way. Though they can be blamed for taking advantage, they can't be blamed for not getting it because of all my prior actions and words and by that time words I've said before but put no action behind lead them to believe I would never just leave them in the lurch.

By the time the whole cycle goes around, what started out as good intentions turns into a lot of hurt and disillusionment and no one is the better off for it.

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Yup... That's exactly what it's been like for me too. It's like you give a little, and then a little more, and then a little more, and then a LOT more, to the point that you are giving so freaking much and they are just taking advantage of the kindness and trust you have tried to give them to begin with. With age, I've gotten better at addressing problems when they START to occur instead of further down the line when all I do is impetuously blow up and walk away from that person completely; however I mostly understand that if I'm displaying kindness, trust, and honesty at the beginning of a relationship of any sort, and the person is already taking advantage of it, I just don't waste my time building a relationship with them.

posted July 24, 2013 10:42 PM            

Pretty soon the person doing all the work experiences burn out and starts majorly resenting everyone.

posted July 25, 2013 05:20 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
The problem when only one person is doing all the giving, no one else thinks they should chip in when they see it. They think she's willing to do everything less work for me so just let her.

Pretty soon the person doing all the work experiences burn out and starts majorly resenting everyone.

I guess I have too much Libra in my chart, I can see through these manipulations.

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Yes, this is exactly the problem. Instead of checking with someone if they're really okay with taking on such a big share of the work, it seems to turn even the most active, go-getter people in a group lazy. Or they'll just rationalise themselves out of any responsibility by saying to themselves, "Well, that's not my problem" or "I don't want to get involved".

posted July 25, 2013 07:52 AM            

I spent almost 5 years of my life working for my family with no money and even what I earned gave it back. It has made me not necessarily want to spend any more time or money with them.

It isn't wrong to care for people. I think you should but also be a fair giver. Fair to yourself and fair to others. You are feeling angry not because people walk on you but you letting people walk on yourself and completely ignoring your needs. You are not loving or valuing yourself. You need to start valuing yourself before others would do. I know there is lots of guilt comes across when you can not help others. Sometimes you might not even feel you deserve helping yourself. You would think you are selfish but think this way you wanting to help every time child is falling while learning to walk you are not helping. You are actually hindrance to its progress.
Tough Love is essential sometimes.

Your time, your energy, your love is all important and if you want people to appreciate what you have just done ask them to thank you later. You would be surprised that they would.

I have problem with asking for help and I am not sure if you do too and sometimes I do know some people just can't and you can't expect as some people are always in need for help. It just doesn't seem same people would do it.

Do not get too hooked up about give and take from same peoples as sometimes it might not be same people who have become takers are going to be givers. If you are giving universe would give you in some other way. I know it is very difficult to see it that way but just trust that those things wouldn't go unnoticed by God.

It is your responsibility to yourself to be able to Say NO when you do not want to do something. I know it is also about people pleasing as we are afraid to tell no as they might not like us. I am trying my best to stop being push over. Harder than said.

I am practicing to say no to people I have been scared all my life. It is also realizing that you have power and own authority. Accept your own authority.

Do you know what type of people intimidate you or any patterns which might have led to your giving nature?

I had read somewhere one of the effects of Pluto in Capricorn is that servants , employees Virgo are going to stand up for themselves.

posted July 25, 2013 07:53 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
The problem when only one person is doing all the giving, no one else thinks they should chip in when they see it. They think she's willing to do everything less work for me so just let her.

Pretty soon the person doing all the work experiences burn out and starts majorly resenting everyone.

I guess I have too much Libra in my chart, I can see through these manipulations.

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Virgo Sun,moon, mercury and a list of other planets here, and you just nailed it.

Problems arise when some people start thinking that you are giving because you are 'stupid' and they are 'smart' enough to make you do so, not because you just do those kind of things.

then the smug looks on their faces, and 'oh i'm so smart' attitude when speaking to you, that usually will give you that minute to pause...the problem is usually it's people with a lot of Virgo who are the smarter one's so can see through this, so it becomes sad, that instead of just plain enjoying the generous spirit, or at least doing the same for others once in a while,

posted July 25, 2013 08:05 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by jellyfishtry:
Virgo Sun,moon, mercury and a list of other planets here, and you just nailed it.

Problems arise when some people start thinking that you are giving because you are 'stupid' and they are 'smart' enough to make you do so, not because you just do those kind of things.

then the smug looks on their faces, and 'oh i'm so smart' attitude when speaking to you, that usually will give you that minute to pause...the problem is usually it's people with a lot of Virgo who are the smarter one's so can see through this, so it becomes sad, that instead of just plain enjoying the generous spirit, or at least doing the same for others once in a while,

they think you are giving all that much of yourself, because they were smart enough to manipulate you into doing so..(ie they start thinking that you are as dumb in reality as their silly minds make them think you are in their heads...)naturally this breeds resentment.

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I would say it would be fair to do 2 times something for someone if it is making you happy and ask something once back (as that would make you happy too) in all relationship. OR Once in a while say NO. Just to confuse them or keep them on their toes.

Depending whether they do things for you or not you will know then whether they are going to do anything for you or not? Then you know that they aren't going to do what you want them but are you still happy doing what they want you to do? I think it is just being more conscious about what you are giving other people.

posted July 25, 2013 08:30 AM            

Virgo with Libra emphasis draws this kind of thing in, people who do not want to pitch in and just want the person with these placements to keep giving until they are completely drained and exhausted.

It's like that belief some have, if they perform too well at work, their supervisor will keep piling on more and more so they loaf around to get out of it. Same idea.

Virgo with Libra can reach that crescendo, where they resort to this tactic, even though at one time, they criticized it in others.

posted July 25, 2013 10:47 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by 4lifephrases:
I would say it would be fair to do 2 times something for someone if it is making you happy and ask something once back (as that would make you happy too) in all relationship. OR Once in a while say NO. Just to confuse them or keep them on their toes.

Depending whether they do things for you or not you will know then whether they are going to do anything for you or not? Then you know that they aren't going to do what you want them but are you still happy doing what they want you to do? I think it is just being more conscious about what you are giving other people.

I think some of the relationships especially one from childhood aren't made on any balancing or boundaries. Suddenly you wake up realizing how things have been so bad and how can you be so foolish! for giving so much.

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True that!! i know as children we are taught it is 'selfish' to say no...when in reality it isn't at all, it isn't about standing grounds, it's just about being honest. "no," sometimes we can't give as much as we'd like to, or as much as a person would like to take, so no and then moving on without a grudge from either side, is one 'key' to all 'sides' being happy...