posted August 02, 2013 03:12 PM            

Venusian Moon, you have such a good point, ha! Yep, girls can start to become really unpleasant as young as ten (I remember!).

Those are good points, Slowpoke.

We do have some pretty decent aspects in our charts together--Mars and Sun/Moon trines/sextiles from both of us, as well as trine/sextile aspects between his moon (29 d Libra) and my sun and mooon (6 d Pisces and 5 d Virgo).
So although some of the aspects fall on the cusp of otherwise non-compatible signs, the aspects are still there (I think).
I'm not always sure what to make of these aspects, but I would like to think that they will show themselves in some way.

He has smoother aspects from Pluto and Neptune to his otherwise afflicted Aries stellium, as well as his Taurus Mars, so there should be some outlets for him.

I've been gaining a lot of insight from posting about this, and it has worked miracles for my husband and I to take a step back and remember that yelling at him (which seems to come pretty naturally for all of us) just doesn't do any good.
A calm "Oh no, we get a time out when we throw" followed by the reasonable time-out is making our household a much more pleasant place to be for him (and for us).

I think that it's occasionally necessary for us to realize that he's experiencing a mental and/or physical growth spurt (it seems to erupt out of the blue), readjust how we're dealing with it, and start back at square one with how we view what he's doing.

I've started to teach him how to use the computer, which he's keenly interested in.

posted August 02, 2013 05:47 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by slowpoke:
All parents are compatible with their children up until they turn the age of eighteen.

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Oh phoey.

I know this probably won't be a popular opinion, but:

You can't force anyone - child or no - to have a complementary personality with someone else. Astrological placements or no, some people naturally clash, regardless of age. Incompatible personalities don't suddenly and miraculously crop up the moment the child turns 18. And quite frankly, while it is most certainly a parent's job to guide their children and to teach them proper social behavior and the difference between "right" and "wrong", it is definitely not their job to force a child's personality to be that which they happen to prefer. The more you attempt to compel a child during his/her formative years to be what YOU want rather than to encourage them to be who they actually are, the more they will eventually push back...and that is EXACTLY what creates a poor parent/child relationship.

I've seen this posted in a couple of places on this site, but given the topic, I feel I need to point out the irony of this comment: isn't this topic about having a child with Saturn in the 4th? Every child needs discipline, of course, but the asinine idea that a parent will get along with his/her child simply by pulling rank and asserting their age/authority is exactly the kind of situation that having Saturn (authority, distance, austerity, setbacks, discipline) in the 4th house (home, family, dominant parent) could symbolize. No parent, despite his/her greatest wishes can compel a child to like him/her anymore than they can compel their boss, neighbor, barista, dogwalker, etc. to do the same simply because of their age and/or perceived authority.

posted August 02, 2013 08:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by nove731:
Oh phoey.

I know this probably won't be a popular opinion, but:

You can't force anyone - child or no - to have a complementary personality with someone else. Astrological placements or no, some people naturally clash, regardless of age. Incompatible personalities don't suddenly and miraculously crop up the moment the child turns 18. And quite frankly, while it is most certainly a parent's job to guide their children and to teach them proper social behavior and the difference between "right" and "wrong", it is definitely not their job to force a child's personality to be that which they happen to prefer. The more you attempt to compel a child during his/her formative years to be what YOU want rather than to encourage them to be who they actually are, the more they will eventually push back...and that is EXACTLY what creates a poor parent/child relationship.

I've seen this posted in a couple of places on this site, but given the topic, I feel I need to point out the irony of this comment: isn't this topic about having a child with Saturn in the 4th? Every child needs discipline, of course, but the asinine idea that a parent will get along with his/her child simply by pulling rank and asserting their age/authority is exactly the kind of situation that having Saturn (authority, distance, austerity, setbacks, discipline) in the 4th house (home, family, dominant parent) could symbolize. No parent, despite his/her greatest wishes can compel a child to like him/her anymore than they can compel their boss, neighbor, barista, dogwalker, etc. to do the same simply because of their age and/or perceived authority.

Maybe I'm biased because I don't have a great relationship with my parents...but my poor relationship with my them wasn't all sunshine and daisies before 00:00:00 13/04/2008. It didn't miraculously sour at the inauspicious moment where one day passed to another. It developed over a long period of time: for most of which, I was under the age of 18.

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This made me laugh, because I was kind of thinking the same thing, but didn't want to say so...

I'm sorry if you've been reading about this topic repeatedly, but at least my repeated threads about this particular placement (and his chart) have offered some major insights for me as a parent.

However, to their credit, slowpoke had a couple of points that I could understand in there. There are some pleasant aspects between my son and I that might carry us into his adulthood.

He may still view us as strict, argumentative, and overbearing, but we can at least do our best to ensure that he still feels loved.

Thanks for your input, it made me chuckle.

Blessings.

posted August 03, 2013 12:02 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Jkitty:
I've got Saturn in the 4th house. Saturn can represent authority in general, not a specific parent, and the criticism that he'll notice might not be directed toward him personally, at least that was my experience. Instead, it was my mom's (and dad's, though not as much since he wasn't the primary caregiver) criticisms of others that I noted. Because my Saturn is within 3 degrees of my IC, I internalized those criticisms in the "core of my being". So I'd like to contribute the possibility that adults/authority in general need to be aware of being overly critical of ANYONE when he's around.

Ultimately though, it's his chart, his energies, and he's the one who will need to learn how to deal with it. You can't "fix it" for him because it could just as easily represent hearing a teacher scolding another student or grandpa criticizing grandma, or some bigot criticizing a race or ethnicity he identifies with, etc. You can't seal him in a little baggy to shelter him from life.

BUT you can guide him to learn how he can release that Saturn energy in a healthy way. What aspects does that Saturn make in HIS chart?

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I apologize for getting off topic here sometimes; I just realized that I never fully addressed your question, although you've been considerate enough to offer your input.

When I looked, I realized that his Saturn is part of a T-square in his chart between Saturn, Uranus, and Pluto.

The opposition between Saturn and Uranus are the only aspects made to those planets, but Pluto has some positive aspects to his Aries stellium and Mars in early Taurus (involving a trine with Venus, Mercury, Jupiter, and Mars, although many of these aspects occur with cusp placements, between Capricorn Pluto and other planets on the cusp of Aries/Taurus).

Thanks again, everyone. I realize that I can easily stray off topic here, but I am still soaking in everyone's feedback.

posted August 05, 2013 01:38 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ellygirl7:
Judging by all the Aries in his chart (10th) and his Taurus 11th, I'd advise you to put him into a group sport. He definitely needs the outlets. It's likely that you've got a pro athlete on your hands and don't know it yet. Also, take the time to nurture him, especially when it comes to learning disabilities. Some kids have the quick virgo minds without the ability for function to keep up. Trust me. My husband is Virgo Sun/Moon. They're deeply emotional and if he's acting out, its usually an outlet.

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Thank you for your input; he is definitely athletic (although very particular about what he wants to do, and becomes easily bored once he's mastered something...probably normal for his age, but I still have those tendencies even as an adult, as does my husband).

His moon is in Libra, though... My moon is in Virgo.

I was bumped up a grade early in school in a couple of different areas, and I suspect that, as long as his teachers can demonstrate some understanding and flexibility, he should be fine. No indications of learning disabilities.

I definitely agree that sports of some sort, or martial arts or whatever, might be a good outlet for him. As well as music, which he loves (Taurus sun and Libra moon, go figure, lol).

posted August 05, 2013 04:59 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by nove731:
Oh phoey.

I know this probably won't be a popular opinion, but:

You can't force anyone - child or no - to have a complementary personality with someone else. Astrological placements or no, some people naturally clash, regardless of age. Incompatible personalities don't suddenly and miraculously crop up the moment the child turns 18. And quite frankly, while it is most certainly a parent's job to guide their children and to teach them proper social behavior and the difference between "right" and "wrong", it is definitely not their job to force a child's personality to be that which they happen to prefer. The more you attempt to compel a child during his/her formative years to be what YOU want rather than to encourage them to be who they actually are, the more they will eventually push back...and that is EXACTLY what creates a poor parent/child relationship.

---

posted August 05, 2013 05:16 AM            

my friend is in the same situation with her little boy (who is 5 btw).

He has got Sun, Mercury and Venus in Aries, with Sun being the focal point of a T-square with the Mars (Cancer in 3rd house) - Jupiter opposition.

(His ASC is in Gemini and Moon in Taurus).

He is very, well, stubborn and determined, has got a fiery temper (but at the same time is fiercely protective of his younger siblings), and is impatient beyond belief.

He poses a real challenge to my friend, who herself of course has a stressed configuration involving the same spots in the zodiac as her sonīs.

Her Moon is actually in Aries, conjunct his Sun, but is opposed by her Venus-Mars-Pluto-opposition, which is squared by her Cancer ASC (on his Mars).

Let`s just say they can really get each other riled up. And he is only 5!

However, of course my friend is mature enough to evaluate the situation, and she makes it a point to not only educate him and spending time within the whole family, but also sets a part a bit of "Alone-time" for him and her, and is supporting his considerable artistic talent (as his teacher said) and most of all the fun he has painting and drawing.
She also has been reading up on the arts-stuff, so she can keep up with him. lol

It seems to work fairly well though, this balance of him having to naturally adjust within the family (where other`s needs have to be met as well) and on the other time having his mommy just for himself at times.

Another joker-card is actually his father / her husband, too, who is definitely more relaxed than my friend. He also has his principles (they are both agreeing on these values luckily), but is not so emotional, but more relaxed asserting these (he has got Sun and ASC in Capricorn, Moon in Aquarius, Mars in Gemini - his Jupiter is also conjunct my friend`s Moon and their son`s Sun).

Apart from this they have implanted rules and routines that have to be followed.

Like for example when they get in from a walk, taking off their shoes and washing their hands the very first thing they do.
And these rules are for EVERYONE, not just the kids.
Which means that guests will have to take off their shoes as well, and the little Aries will definitely demand tha this rule will be met by everyone.

But as well as that goes at the moment, it will stay a process that needs creative solutions, patience, love and consequence.

posted August 05, 2013 05:32 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by nove731:
Oh phoey.

I know this probably won't be a popular opinion, but:

You can't force anyone - child or no - to have a complementary personality with someone else. Astrological placements or no, some people naturally clash, regardless of age. Incompatible personalities don't suddenly and miraculously crop up the moment the child turns 18. And quite frankly, while it is most certainly a parent's job to guide their children and to teach them proper social behavior and the difference between "right" and "wrong", it is definitely not their job to force a child's personality to be that which they happen to prefer. The more you attempt to compel a child during his/her formative years to be what YOU want rather than to encourage them to be who they actually are, the more they will eventually push back...and that is EXACTLY what creates a poor parent/child relationship.

I've seen this posted in a couple of places on this site, but given the topic, I feel I need to point out the irony of this comment: isn't this topic about having a child with Saturn in the 4th? Every child needs discipline, of course, but the asinine idea that a parent will get along with his/her child simply by pulling rank and asserting their age/authority is exactly the kind of situation that having Saturn (authority, distance, austerity, setbacks, discipline) in the 4th house (home, family, dominant parent) could symbolize. No parent, despite his/her greatest wishes can compel a child to like him/her anymore than they can compel their boss, neighbor, barista, dogwalker, etc. to do the same simply because of their age and/or perceived authority.

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Kids are different.
People are different.

Smooshing them down into a mold won't change things.
The most you can do re: their overall personality (without damaging them) is incline.

posted August 05, 2013 10:05 AM            

Well, we'll just keep trying to do our best around here (and put down rules when necessary, but heaven forbid we show him how to do anything else unasked, ha).