posted July 24, 2013 03:35 PM            

My son has many placements in Aries (as a Taurus with Cancer rising), and a Libra moon also in the fourth house, which opposes his Mercury and (I think) his Venus.

Thus he truly does have even more impulse control issues than the average toddler, and it has always been this way. He is a sweet, caring little soul, but I am forever getting hit in the face with something (this morning it was a plastic dump truck that resulted in a nasty cut above my eye, after knocking my glasses off my face). This is in addition to the normal stuff that two year-olds do, like throwing the kitty litter all over the bedroom after I have spent the past two days getting the room cleaned up after bringing home new kittens.

I am at a loss as to how to handle his temperament and not lose my temper and raise my voice, or make him feel as though he is constantly being criticized. I am a Pisces with Leo rising, and many placements in cardinal signs, so we have some challenging Pluto/Saturn/Venus aspects, although also some nice harmonious aspects with our charts.

Thoughts or advice? I don't think they teach this stuff in parenting classes, so I figured I would ask for some input on here.

posted July 24, 2013 03:40 PM            

I feel the same ways sometimes about my mother.

Dont be hard on him and show affection.

Put him in martial arts so he can let the anger out.

posted July 24, 2013 03:50 PM            

I myself have a Virgo moon in opposition to my sun, and had some fairly horrible experiences with my own mother, and I still occasionally feel resentful, after 38 years.

posted July 24, 2013 04:39 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Violets:
Gahhh, thank you...I've always thought that martial arts would be a good idea for him, as he's a bit shy, and although we've never been critical of him at an early age and we're affectionate people, he has always had that Cancerian self-consciousness about him, and quite a temper.

I myself have a Virgo moon in opposition to my sun, and had some fairly horrible experiences with my own mother, and I still occasionally feel resentful, after 38 years.

Do you mind if I ask... Have you had to deal with strong feelings of dislike or anger towards your mother, or has there always been love present, but with major personality conflicts?
I love my son so much, but it is a challenging relationship. I try not to raise my voice and micromanage him, but it can be difficult. I don't want to squash his enthusiasm, as he's such a bright little spirit.
Do you speak to your mother? I would hate for our relationship to end up the way that mine has with my mother...

---

My mom has a virgo moon too. Yes i speak to her when we are on good terms. One day we can be silly together and the other day we are being nasty and insulting eachother. Her critical attitude and nagging annoy me. There were times where i seriously wanted to punch her. Virgo moons can be pretty critical and harsh and not too affectionate either.

Your son is a cancer so he will definitely need physical love too.

posted July 24, 2013 04:50 PM            

We are very physically affectionate, although everyone in the house has quite a temper (husband Leo with Sag rising, I have Leo rising and Venus in Aries, son Taurus with a few Aries placements).

I wonder if there is some way to redirect his course, in the sense of taking the focus off of how we interact, and maybe incorporating some of the more positive aspects of his Saturn placement...chores, responsibility, or something?
I've learned with transits that, if at all possible, go with the the transit rather than against it... I wonder how on earth I can try to do that with his natal chart, or if that's possible?

Thank you so much for your responses and feedback, I'm feeling at a bit of a loss today with it, and reading about Saturn in the fourth house has made me feel pretty sad.

posted July 24, 2013 04:55 PM            

How about doing a puzzle together. Or watching a good disney movie and eating pop corn.

posted July 24, 2013 06:30 PM            

Shes always getting hurt from jumping so much.

I know kids jump and have energy but she is way too much.

Sometimes i wanna rip my hair out grrr lol

My mom gets annoyed too.

posted July 24, 2013 06:40 PM            

Someone mentioned mars square moon which she does have and mars/mercury.

Does he have any of these?

posted July 24, 2013 07:32 PM            

What really made me laugh is that my Leo husband, with Sag rising, was apparently h@ll on wheels at my son's age. Go figure, haha.

I don't know how to post a picture of my son's chart on here (can we post pictures here?), but he does have a stellium in Aries, in his 10th house, and Taurus in his 11th house. So much Aries in a chart!

10th house Aries
Mercury
Venus
Jupiter
Uranus

11th house Taurus
Mars
Sun

Aspects:
Mercury, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter
Conjuct.
All opposition to Moon in 4th house.

Uranus
Opposition Saturn in Libra, 4th house.

Pluto in Capricorn in 6th house.
Neptune in Pisces in 9th house.

Positive aspects from Pluto and Neptune to Mars, Venus, Mercury, and from Neptune to Moon.

It's an odd looking chart, from my experience, but I don't have that much experience...

I wonder about his Uranus in 10th house opposing Saturn in his 4th house? That doesn't sound...pleasant...?

Like myself, he has the dreaded Pluto Sq Saturn placement, and our Pluto and Saturn placements, in turn square each other (how lovely, I'm sure).

posted July 24, 2013 08:45 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Violets:
*Sigh* Yes. I don't like to call him "hyper", because I don't want him to hear that and feel stigmatized by others as he grows to understand the word, but yes. He is very...um. "Active and energetic". And even the kindest, most doting grandmother has been known to, on occasion, become really irritated with him, after a nice bruise to the temple via a happy fling of a toy car or something. Of course I'm referring to my husband's mother, not mine. Although my mom is also quite fond of him, but it's just kind of a known thing in our family that if most two year-olds are a handful, my son is about five handfuls.

---

I've got Saturn in the 4th house. Saturn can represent authority in general, not a specific parent, and the criticism that he'll notice might not be directed toward him personally, at least that was my experience. Instead, it was my mom's (and dad's, though not as much since he wasn't the primary caregiver) criticisms of others that I noted. Because my Saturn is within 3 degrees of my IC, I internalized those criticisms in the "core of my being". So I'd like to contribute the possibility that adults/authority in general need to be aware of being overly critical of ANYONE when he's around.

Ultimately though, it's his chart, his energies, and he's the one who will need to learn how to deal with it. You can't "fix it" for him because it could just as easily represent hearing a teacher scolding another student or grandpa criticizing grandma, or some bigot criticizing a race or ethnicity he identifies with, etc. You can't seal him in a little baggy to shelter him from life.

BUT you can guide him to learn how he can release that Saturn energy in a healthy way. What aspects does that Saturn make in HIS chart?

posted July 24, 2013 08:54 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jkitty:
I've got Saturn in the 4th house. Saturn can represent authority in general, not a specific parent, and the criticism that he'll notice might not be directed toward him personally, at least that was my experience. Instead, it was my mom's (and dad's, though not as much since he wasn't the primary caregiver) criticisms of others that I noted. Because my Saturn is within 3 degrees of my IC, I internalized those criticisms in the "core of my being". So I'd like to contribute the possibility that adults/authority in general need to be aware of being overly critical of ANYONE when he's around...

BUT you can guide him to learn how he can release that Saturn energy in a healthy way. What aspects does that Saturn make in HIS chart?

---

Those are very good points, and well aimed, I have to say. I know that I was disgusted by how my mom spoke about other people, but I am sometimes capable of it myself... I try not to (and I hope it goes without saying that it has nothing to do with race, sexual identity, or any other form of bias), but it does happen. And when it happens, it can be pretty unpleasant.

So that's a good idea to keep in mind.

His Saturn is in opposition to his Uranus, which is in his 10th house. I'm a little concerned about that as well.

I don't know if parents can avoid certain pitfalls when it comes to their children's charts, but if it's possible to let the chart do its thing in the most productive way possible, I'd love to know how to do that with these aspects in particular. If not, well...all we can do is our best.

posted July 24, 2013 09:08 PM            

4th House Cancer:
Saturn and Moon

10th House Aries:
Mercury Venus Jupiter Uranus

11th house Taurus:
Mars 3d
Sun 24d

Moon opp
Mercury Venus Mars Jupiter

Saturn opp Uranus
Saturn sq Asc

Any feedback on all that? I'm kind of starting to look at his chart and go "um...are we just going to suck as parents, or die or something??"

posted July 24, 2013 09:23 PM            

Although optimistic, "fun", and emotionally open/supportive, my mother was utterly incapable of providing for me financially when I was growing up. My father peaced out when I was one, and my mother never really recovered financially. We constantly suffered through a perverse cycle of (miniature) boom and (atomic) bust, and she could never provide a stable home.

As an adult, my mother has serious health problems and has become a massive financial and social burden.

We also have incredibly divergent personalities and don't really get along. We're both fire heavy (We both have Sun in Aries, and I have my Moon in Sag, she has her Moon in Leo), but we clash something awful. I'm much more serious and practically minded, whereas she can't see past immediate whims. Basically, I've always had to be the "adult", which has been very frustrating.

posted July 24, 2013 09:36 PM            

While my son and I are really very close, there is a definite clash of wills that takes place between us...and, to a degree, between him and my husband.

I'm still a bit concerned about the Saturn/Uranus aspects, though.

posted July 24, 2013 10:20 PM            

One thing I associate Uranus with is technology. Have you provided him with any age-appropriate computer games, perhaps as a learning toy? That might be a way to channel some of that Saturn toward his Uranus. If he develops a love of computers, technology, etc., his Saturn could result in discipline that could have a positive impact on his future career.

It could also be used as a form of discipline (another Saturn theme) in trade for good behavior. "If you don't throw anything before snack time, you get to play with your favorite computer game until the timer goes off" (say 15 minutes). If you don't throw anything or hit anyone before lunch, you get to play with it some more later." You get the idea. I think the trick will be to find something he LOVES to do. Unless there are other aspects that Saturn is making, then look to find something "Uranian" to focus him upon. And start small, so he can experience the pleasure of earning greater rewards with progress.

posted July 24, 2013 10:46 PM            

I love the idea of focusing his energy and attention on Uranus-type things. He already does that, really. I can't buy him age-appropriate computer stuff, because he is pretty much guaranteed to break such things immediately... But he LOVES wheels, and is constantly inspecting the wheels on all of his little cars and trucks, trying to take them apart and see how they operate, etc. He isn't very verbal (a lot of consonants get left out, although he's known the entire alphabet since he was 1.5 years old). But he has already figured out how to adjust the speaker volume on the computer, turns it off and on, and basic things like that. I don't like for him to do it though, because...well, he just tends to be very hard on pretty much everything.
He doesn't really understand the reward system yet, although I've tried it a few times. I think that within another year he may be at a verbal level that I will be able to reason a bit with him as far as rewards and that type of thing.

We don't really punish him very harshly...he might get a time out in his room, but I'm just shutting the door to his room, which is a reasonably comfortable place for him to be.

However, we do tend to yell at him sometimes...and sometimes we end up yelling a lot, as in "hey, stop it! You know better than to do that, STOP. IT!" and so on, because telling him not to do something or trying to distract him is pretty unsuccessful.

Thank you for your feedback and experiences, I'm feeling a bit better. I had read a lot about self-esteem issues regarding Saturn in the 4th house, in addition to being sq his Asc, and had the impression that Uranus opposing it in the 10th house could indicate the early death of a parent.

He does seem kind of naturally self-conscious, which I always thought was odd, but assumed it was the Cancer Asc and moon placements, as we've never been disapproving of basic childhood activities like dancing, falling down, etc. but he seems very sensitive about such things, and likes to practice a lot when no one is watching him.

posted July 25, 2013 02:24 AM            

It's baffling to me sometimes, because we just spent the evening, all three of us, rolling around in the bed, playing with his cars, tickling him, and being very affectionate and having fun.

I think that we (my husband and I), as parents probably really need to work on how we address his impulse control issues. We all yell a lot in our house, with so much fire and stubbornness going on, but there is also a lot of love in our home. Whatever kind of day we've had, we always end it with a sincere "I love you", a hug or back rub, and an apology if needed.

I'm thinking that, on the occasions when his behavior is just non-stop and gets to the point of "okay, I have absolutely had it", we need to NOT yell at him or allow ourselves to become angry. It's difficult, I'm telling you. As much as we love him, he is pretty non-stop. And we all have tempers here. There is always the reassurance afterwords that it's okay, and a hug is often given, or at least a loving stroke on the cheek.

I do tend to shut myself away sometimes, as he really just takes the energy out of me. But I try to do so when he's doing something else like eating breakfast in his high chair and watching something pleasant like PBS Kids.

Rethinking how I verbally accost people who aren't in the room with me would also be a good idea. I try not to involve myself with people who create drama (I have my own baggage to unpack, thanks), but we can't choose who we're related to, and all that sort of thing.

posted August 02, 2013 11:21 AM            

Since you have a natal chart on your child, get a basic Astrology book and familiarize yourself with the basics around your child.

The following has been said to several people on this site.

All parents are compatible with their children up until they turn the age of eighteen. During their growing years the parents have the power to mold their children into the best they can be. The parents can teach them how to be honest, dependable and, how to work with others in a friendly fashion. If the parent has the backbone to discipline their child, then that child will, also, learn how to respect authority figures.

For those who are so inclined, it is far more important that a parent understands their child's natal chart over a Synastry chart. The natal will suggest where the child's strengths and weakness may form. The parent is in a perfect position to guide the child into the more positive directions, not by skirting the stressful influences but by helping the child meet the challenges of those influences. Because, when the child becomes an adult, all of the influences will still be with that person. It will then be up to that adult to work with the influences accordingly.

No matter what a Synastry says before a child is 18, is a mute issue. Enjoy and nurture the child while you can, because if the Synastry suggest that the two of you are not compatible, as adults . . . the party is over at 18. Because the person is now in a position to experience independent thought and will have been somewhat influenced by the peers as well. Trust in yourself, that you have done your best.

There may be an easier way to read and understand complicated Synastry pie chart aspects. Pie chart aspects can also be produced onto a basic Synastry Aspect Chart. Review the sample chart at your leisure. It may help you gain even more insight than you currently have.

http://risingpeople.wix.com/synastry-aspecting