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Author
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Topic: I have been dating someone new, need opinions
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Venusincap89
Knowflake Posts: 72
From:
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted August 12, 2013 02:59 PM
  
ok so I am Venus in Capricorn, Sun Saggitarius, Moon in aries, Rising in Leo
and Capricorn Mercury
I have been dating someone with Gemini Sun, Taurus Venus, Capricorn moon, and Cancer rising, Cancer Mercury
Is this a good astrological match?I have been dating this girl for about 2.5 months now
Even though it has been only 2.5 months, relationship has been by far the most smooth one I had
but here is the problem
I've asked her to pay for the date, after I paid for first 10 dates (I didn't let her spend a dime)
She said yes and told me that she's been waiting to do so
So we went out again, but in contrast to the agreement, she suggested "I'll wait here" on our way to the check out desk
I didn't say anything and just went with it because I didn't wanna bother arguing Ever since, I've been feeling a little doubtful
and I wanted to hear what people thought about this
IP: Logged |
Lyrica
Knowflake Posts: 46
From: USA
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted August 12, 2013 10:18 PM
Maybe she just forgot? To tell you the truth I would have forgotten on purpose lol. ------------------
Sun Pisces
Scorpio Rising
Taurus Moon
Venus in Capricorn
Mars In Leo "Can't run from myself-there's nowhere to hide"
"That's who I am, 1000% illusion" IP: Logged |
Jkitty
Knowflake Posts: 856
From: an oasis in the desert
Registered: Mar 2013
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posted August 12, 2013 10:35 PM
What are your Mercurys doing? I think the only way to really put your doubts to rest would be to talk with her about it. Before you do, how do you feel about this? Betrayed? Confused? Upset? Angry? What do you need for her to do to make it better? Pay for the next date? Pay you back? Talk about her finances with you? What do you think is really going on here? Do you feel like she's using you? Or you're starting to see something about her you never noticed before? Or are you afraid to trust her? Be honest with yourself before talking to her. I think people pick up on the intent behind our words, so if you're not completely honest with yourself before you talk with her about it, it will effect the way she takes it.I know that Mercury is usually overlooked in romantic relationships, but I personally think it's very important (I've got it in my 5th house, so it would be to me). Something to think about. IP: Logged |
Venusincap89
Knowflake Posts: 72
From:
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted August 12, 2013 10:36 PM
Yeah lol I am certain she forgot on purposebut what I am not sure about is
whether I should bother trying to work it out... :s @Jkitty
That's a really good advice
because What I actually did was..
after 5th date, I told her
'I am paying for the meal because I am the one who asked for the date'
After I said that like 2 times, I directly asked her to pay and I repeated the statement for another 2 dates
I am really not sure if I should bother talking at this point IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 4154
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted August 12, 2013 11:01 PM
Too be honest, you should never ask a girl to pay for a date.
If she offers than spilt it 50/50  This was a date not an outing with a friend. Just a dating tip bro!!!
Good luck! IP: Logged |
Jkitty
Knowflake Posts: 856
From: an oasis in the desert
Registered: Mar 2013
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posted August 12, 2013 11:05 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Venusincap89:
I told her
'I am paying for the meal because I am the one who asked for the date'
After I said that like 2 times, I directly asked her to pay and I repeated the statement for another 2 dates
I am really not sure if I should bother talking at this point
So did she ask you for a date? Is that why you asked her to pay? Because that's where the confusion may have happened. If all the dates have been initiated by you, then I think it's fair of her to assume you'd pay simply because of what you told her in the past. IP: Logged |
crabbypatty
Knowflake Posts: 754
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 12, 2013 11:10 PM
To the OP... Your post gave me food for thought. The truth is, there's probably no real good reason for the guy to always pay for dates...and I will probably spend some of tomorrow pondering the whys and wherefores. That having been said, to be completely honest with you, if I were her, you wouldn't have gotten an eleventh date. A guy asking me to pay because he has done all the paying so far ...that would leave the worst taste in my mouth. Deal breaker. Again, I can't explain why without sounding like a mindless traditionalist, but still.... It's the *** for tat mentality, I think, that would irritate me. Anyway, I say if you have to have things equal monetarily, you should not be with this woman. She is not having it. IP: Logged |
Venusincap89
Knowflake Posts: 72
From:
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted August 12, 2013 11:10 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
Too be honest, you should never ask a girl to pay for a date.
If she offers than spilt it 50/50 This was a date not an outing with a friend. Just a dating tip bro!!!
Good luck!
@Kerosene
Yeah you are right.. I should never have to ask a girl to pay for a date.. I think I was just hoping that she had some what of a 'giving' personality.. but obviously if she did have that she already would have cooperated by now @Jkitty
Yes she did ask for a date but this was after I didnt initiate talking to her for about 2 weeks (I always replied to her but didn't ask her out)
But I am not sure on what I could do if she still doesn't pay :s IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 4154
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted August 12, 2013 11:12 PM
Im actually curious, I've dated a lot of girls that want to split.
Which seems perfectly fair to me unless I invited to them out somewhere fancy, but I'm not rich so that rarely happens. Although I would never let anyone pay for a date... Im wondering zodiac wise which signs would offer to split? Or maybe it depends on the area you live?
Everyone is really ultra progressive. IP: Logged |
Venusincap89
Knowflake Posts: 72
From:
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted August 12, 2013 11:19 PM
quote:
Originally posted by crabbypatty:
To the OP... Your post gave me food for thought. The truth is, there's probably no real good reason for the guy to always pay for dates...and I will probably spend some of tomorrow pondering the whys and wherefores. That having been said, to be completely honest with you, if I were her, you wouldn't have gotten an eleventh date. A guy asking me to pay because he has done all the paying so far ...that would leave the worst taste in my mouth. Deal breaker. Again, I can't explain why without sounding like a mindless traditionalist, but still.... It's the *** for tat mentality, I think, that would irritate me. Anyway, I say if you have to have things equal monetarily, you should not be with this woman. She is not having it.
Actually coming off as a deal breaker was the whole point,
Me being a typical Venus in Capricorn (Although I don't think this applies to everyone), I was putting it on the line to see if she's a giver or not. If I don't get the 11th date, I would have thought that I saved myself some time and money before things got dragged on.
The thing is I really really didn't want to be the one to break it off.. I would much rather have her tell me off xD That reminds me, I actually told her that if she doesn't want to pay she can cook for me haha oh boy what was I thinking IP: Logged |
LiesLilithsaidtouranus
Knowflake Posts: 685
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted August 12, 2013 11:20 PM
I would suggest if you go out with her again, to do something very inexpensive. No lunch or dinner, or whatever. Roller skating or something like that, and then hot dogs later?
Do something like this for a while and see if she asks why you guys haven't went to dinner.
Then you will see if she's really laid back and isn't too preoccupied with all the money being spent on practically free meals for her. Or she loves that lifestyle. I'm leaning towards the former with the Taurus venus.
@kero
I would say cancer suns would be up for going Dutch. Sagittarius as well and a few Aquariuses. Aries maybe, very airy Geminis and Libras possibly.
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Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 4154
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted August 12, 2013 11:22 PM
OP few months ago I went out with this co worker for lunch and she expected me to pay for her because she thought it was a lunch date..
It was literally two co workers grabbing a bite to eat, I thought we were going to pay for our own meals...
It actually got really dramatic when I asked her to pay me back because I thought she was short lmfao...Youre lucky she did not storm out of there like that girl did.... 
Yeah... always offer to pay on a date!!!!!
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Venusincap89
Knowflake Posts: 72
From:
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted August 12, 2013 11:23 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
Im actually curious, I've dated a lot of girls that want to split.
Which seems perfectly fair to me unless I invited to them out somewhere fancy, but I'm not rich so that rarely happens. Although I would never let anyone pay for a date... Im wondering zodiac wise which signs would offer to split? Or maybe it depends on the area you live?
Everyone is really ultra progressive.
I think Venus in leo would be very generous interms of spending their money on people
at least that is what I have seen so far  IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 4154
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted August 12, 2013 11:28 PM
I think asking her like that just rubbed her the wrong way.
Some people are big on traditional gender roles.Do you like independent women, do you follow traditional gender roles? My roommate dated this girl that wanted to pay for literally everything they did together. He felt really weird about it but got use to it.
I think she was rich or something?
She was a Sag sun. IP: Logged |
bethbabe
Knowflake Posts: 214
From: CA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted August 12, 2013 11:33 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
Too be honest, you should never ask a girl to pay for a date.
If she offers than spilt it 50/50 This was a date not an outing with a friend. Just a dating tip bro!!!
Good luck!
I AGREEEEEEE! IP: Logged |
Venusincap89
Knowflake Posts: 72
From:
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted August 12, 2013 11:36 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
OP few months ago I went out with this co worker for lunch and she expected me to pay for her because she thought it was a lunch date..
It was literally two co workers grabbing a bite to eat, I thought we were going to pay for our own meals...
It actually got really dramatic when I asked her to pay me back because I thought she was short lmfao...Youre lucky she did not storm out of there like that girl did....
Yeah... always offer to pay on a date!!!!!
oh man hahahah that's awkward
I think that was more of her ego problem than it being money problem haha I mean if I thought that someone liked me only to find out later that they didn't see me that way... pretty disappointin lol and as for traditional roles vs indepdent women.... I personally like in between/balance
In fact.. for the first few dates.. when she was trying to grab coke or something while we were walking, I stopped her from paying for it haha.. I was hoping she'd return the favor out of morals and stuff but that hasn't happened yet :s IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 4154
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted August 12, 2013 11:42 PM
Lmfao I never actually thought about it that way....
Idkk that happens to me sometimes my natural reaction is to pretend were friends lmfao..I don't most girls really offer to do that, girls show you how much they care in other ways ....
....
...
get it?
LOl jk
when a girl wants to cook for you means she's really interested. Yeah girls can buy you stuff when you're bf/gf.
Like sweaters and shoes etc. IP: Logged |
Venusincap89
Knowflake Posts: 72
From:
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted August 12, 2013 11:49 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
Lmfao I never actually thought about it that way....
Idkk that happens to me sometimes my natural reaction is to pretend were friends lmfao..I don't most girls really offer to do that, girls show you how much they care in other ways ....
....
...
get it?
LOl jk
when a girl wants to cook for you means she's really interested. Yeah girls can buy you stuff when you're bf/gf.
Like sweaters and shoes etc.
OHHHHH actually she hinted on offering me some bedroom actions but my mars in scorpio took over and didn't pick up on it.. since I am not too sure where this is going
IP: Logged |
Venusincap89
Knowflake Posts: 72
From:
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted August 12, 2013 11:50 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Venusincap89:
OHHHHH actually she hinted on offering me some bedroom actions but my mars in scorpio took over and I didn't pick up on it.. since I am not too sure where this is going...
she knows that I picked up on her hint though.. oh man.. I hope she didn't grow resentful
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Jkitty
Knowflake Posts: 856
From: an oasis in the desert
Registered: Mar 2013
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posted August 12, 2013 11:51 PM
I think it's a blend of astrology and culture, including the expectations of your generation. I'm an Aquarius. I grew up with traditional expectations. I've been part of several different conflicting "micro-cultures" (rarely mainstream but what would you expect for Aquarius). Ultimately I've had to think it through for myself. The challenge is being clear and sometimes re-clarifying when a relationship changes (like going from being friends to something more romantic). Assuming ANYTHING about the other based on their planets, upbringing, age, etc is a bad idea. Talk about it. Make it clear right from the beginning. Personally, I like the idea of the one who plans the date to pay for it. If I want a guy to accompany me to see a ballet and he's the Van Halen type, I'm going to pay for the tickets (whatever I can afford at the time), parking, refreshments, etc. If he drives that's great. If he needs gas on the way, I'd also pay for that. BUT if he expects me to go and see some rock concert, he'd better pay for the entire date. Not me. No way. I'm gracing him with the pleasure of my company and my delightful and quirky sense of humor. That's my contribution to the evening. IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 4154
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted August 12, 2013 11:54 PM
Well just move on and find someone else.
Maybe she was just not feeling it?
Also when casually dating as the guy don't have so much expectations!!!!!!
Usually the girl does that.
It's awkward when two people are over calculating each other. lol.
Like just let things happen, and just be cool!
Take deep breaths and just be yourself.
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StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 3332
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted August 12, 2013 11:55 PM
Jkitty^_^This reminds me of my friend who always wanted me to go to concerts I had no interest in and expected me to buy my own ticket and then she hardly ever returned the favor even though she did once or twice. Haha. I told my other friend about it, she said, "I can't believe you bought your own ticket for that. The only way I would have gone is if she paid for my ticket." I felt really weird, like I had been conned or something. After that, never again.IP: Logged |
Venusincap89
Knowflake Posts: 72
From:
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted August 13, 2013 12:13 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
Well just move on and find someone else.
Maybe she was just not feeling it?
Also when casually dating as the guy don't have so much expectations!!!!!!
Usually the girl does that.
It's awkward when two people are over calculating each other. lol.
Like just let things happen, and just be cool!
Take deep breaths and just be yourself.
oh we already established that we are bf and gf :s
so i am hoping... she'd break it off fast if shes not willing to show some signs of giving
IP: Logged |
Venusincap89
Knowflake Posts: 72
From:
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted August 13, 2013 12:16 AM
quote:
Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
Jkitty^_^This reminds me of my friend who always wanted me to go to concerts I had no interest in and expected me to buy my own ticket and then she hardly ever returned the favor even though she did once or twice. Haha. I told my other friend about it, she said, "I can't believe you bought your own ticket for that. The only way I would have gone is if she paid for my ticket." I felt really weird, like I had been conned or something. After that, never again.
oh wow SSS that is so nicee of you
to be able to put yourself through hours of entertainment that you didn't care for, as well as paying for it... :O
depending on the concert I assume it could have been as expensive as 200? :O :O
yeah honestly I think some people are just not givers IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 3332
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted August 13, 2013 12:19 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Venusincap89:
oh wow SSS that is so nicee of you
to be able to put yourself through hours of entertainment that you didn't care for, as well as paying for it... :O
yeah honestly I think some people are just not givers
She did take me hundreds of miles to attend a festival so that was nice of her, lol. She told me her parents wouldn't let her go to the concert alone, would I please please please go? I didn't think of asking her to buy my ticket until after the other friend said something. Then I thought, "wow why didn't I ask her to buy my ticket?" IP: Logged |
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