posted August 22, 2013 03:41 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by asclibrasagsun:

But seriously why the hell would you let your husband get to know another woman? If you loved him you should fight for him and protect him, work things out, and NOT introduce other females that he will like.

you NEVER EVER INTRODUCE another woman to your man...
if he was yours, you had a commitment, you DO NOT introduce women to him for the professional purpose or for personal...its a NO NO NO!

---

Wait what? I've got some rope and handcuffs if you want to make sure he really doesn't get away...

quote:

---

Originally posted by Faith:
There's the old saying, "if you love someone, you let them go."

---

posted August 22, 2013 04:02 PM            

But..and that's the exception.. I'd rather lose him for good, than keep two people who'd be really good for each other apart. I couldn't live with that, seeing them, secretly yearning for each other. I couldn't handle that! I'd feel more betrayed by this, than by some thoughtless one-night-stand!

I really appreciate the many encouraging replies!! Thank you!! Some of you implied that with me acting all weird and suspicious I might even become the instigator for something, maybe none of them would've had in mind in the first place. And there's probably some truth to that. Speak about
self-fulfilling prophecies... but what can one do if the thought is already in one's head?

But that's not really my point you know. I don't want to live in a relationship where I have to hold on to someone! I know relationships are work and full of compromises but in my understanding of love, some basic things should fall in place naturally, without force or manipulation.

Maybe I should just post our Synastry and Composite charts. If some of you would be so kind to share their honest thoughts on this, I'd be grateful. I will post our charts, and then as a comparison I'll post their charts.
Please, when in doubt be honest rather than nice!!

BTW it's not my intention to actually leave him, any time soon, not on my own behalf!!
I just want to know what I'm possibly dealing with.

me(inside) and him -synastry

me and him - composite

her(inside) and him -synastry

posted August 22, 2013 04:31 PM            

imo, what is truly going on....

she does not love him. so, that saying 'if you love bla bla bla' which imo, i dont agree with because it is a case by case thing...does not apply here.
you see, op...is not feeling it with husband anymore...this marriage is....over, unless she has a change of heart and decides to work for it.

by wondering if hubby can find someone else who will be more compatible for him...
she can let him go without feeling too guilty or responsible....
she is not being honest as to how she truly feels about him and the marriage.

posted August 22, 2013 04:31 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kerosene:
this thread...
2muchestrogen4me.

---

posted August 22, 2013 05:44 PM            

OP, there will always be people with whom you or your husband can be more compatible with. But what's important is what you have together - the memories and life, the affection you share together, which makes the relationship unique and both of you important for each other as the years passes by.

Also, grass always seems greener on the other side 'till you step on it anyways. Maybe your friend seems more compatible with your husband, but who knows, maybe they would also have major issues if they get more intimate and marry each other. The deeper you connect, the more conflicts it can arise, so that's why it's always easier to feel compatibility and bliss with someone... 'till you actually live with them. :P

Also, couples are often not completely compatible. They often have issues, even major ones to overcome. Of course, it's important to know when to let go, but overcoming things together makes the bond stronger. And then would you give up each time a relationship presents major difficulties?

posted August 22, 2013 06:16 PM            

I apologize in advance if this offends you, but I think that you are having second thoughts about your marriage. Either you have noticed a "look" or "vibe" that your husband and friend are giving each other, or you are dealing with insecurities about your relationship and letting your imagination run wild.

I know that this is totally out of left field, but I'm also getting the feeling that you might have met a person that you feel more of a connection with, and you are looking for cracks in the wall, maybe because deep down you are feeling guilty. I'm not trying to make accusations, it's just the feeling I get. I'm pretty intuitive, and something just doesn't add up.

posted August 22, 2013 06:35 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by ana_bee:
Why can't I introduce him to a female friend of mine? She was looking for a job. He was looking for an assistant. She's really good at her job, so I was trying to do a favor, for both of them. I believe in a friendship-codex.. I would never hit on a friend's significant other, that's what I naturally expect from my friend as well.

---

HA HA HA ok keep being so wonderfully naive...
you got your husband a nice secretary to full around with is what it sounds like.

Seriously that Venus in the 12th house composite of theirs is a secret love affair red alert...

posted August 22, 2013 06:42 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by page one:
Go back and read the OP's post again. She says at the beginning that a year into the marriage she feels she's in a rut, so it isn't about loving them enough to let them go. There's something else involved here, and it's within the marriage itself.

---

posted August 22, 2013 06:49 PM            

I visualize a boss who just likes how his admin is performing professionally. It may be that neither party is remotely interested romantically and this may be a lot over nothing.

posted August 22, 2013 07:46 PM            

To check if things would really work out for them.. just for fun, I did a synastry and a composite...and it turns out those two are basically a match made in heaven! And not just professionaly.

Hmmm, I did this once with a friend I knew.

He once hooked up with another friend of mine and I got so jealous that they got on so well together(without me) that I ended up telling both of them that since they got on sooooo well, they should just leave me out the picture and just hang out with each other!!!

This was a passive aggressive approach, in reality, when what I really wanted was not to feel like a third wheel around them. Not to feel like I'm just an after-thought. I still wanted to be a part of the "bond" etc and I felt left out.

I know, its too intense for someone to act like that with friends, but I did.(Venus conjunct Pluto in Scorpio in 7th)

So I'm thinking that maybe you could be doing the same thing.

I also failed to acknowledge, at the time, that I hadn't quite dealt successfully with the fact that I still had feelings for one friend that ran beyond friendship.

This was the real reason I cared so much, otherwise if it was just platonic, I wouldn't have given two hoots whom he got on with.

So I think you have dormant intense feelings for your husband that are sparking off some passive agressive behaviour on your part and denial by saying "oh well, we didn't ge on that well romantically anyway" etc.

You could be refusing to acknowledge them and believing yourself to be taking on a more "mature" role by "letting things happen" between your friend and he.(I wonder where you Mars is honestly)

Because, realistically, if you were falling "out of love" with your husband,you wouldn't have bothered to do a synastry chart, come here to ask for advice on what to do and generally take an approach that seems focused on whom he gets on with.

You may be insanely jealous and I think it would be healthy for you to own these feelings and come clean with the fact that you are not comfortable wth your husband telling you how well he gets on with your friend and your friend making herself so keen on gettin on with your husband.

Possessiveness may be a foreign thing to you that you may not want to acknowldge that you have.

And the fact that you mentioned;

What would you do, if you knew your significant other was more compatible with someone else? Btw there are no children involved yet, and we're in our first year of marriage. I'm 28 just like her, he's 36.

Chidren, though important, are not the only reason that two people stay together.

People have been married with children, and still break apart. Other couples never have children and stay together.

The fact that you mentioned this so casualy as if saying "oh well, its not like we have anything keeping us togther anyway" suggests to me that you do want something that'll bond you two.

Something that feels deep and profound ad reminds you again and again , why you love and are committed to your man so much.

Perhaps that is what is missing, perhaps you don't feel that "bonded" to him and alienated from him somewhat? But either way,your approach is passive aggressive.

I wonder if transiting Saturn is aspecting your Moon/Venus? Causing your emotional nature to cool and the feelings for your husband to feel like an "obligation" etc.

Or transiting Uranus could also be aspecting Moon/Venus; making you yearn for something "new" or to feel inlove?

You could be unconciously creating drama in the relationship with your husband in view of seeing a passionate re-union after all is said and done.

Perhaps for him to re-emphasize his feeling for you or for you to fall back in love with him?

Or, there could be transiting Pluto forming aspects with your Moon and Venus; surfacing all sort of "uncomfortable" feelings of what's mine is mine and no-one should touch it etc. that you simply cannot express successfully ;without looking "loony" lol.

Either way,imo, this is a passive aggressive cry for help. You want to feel "alive" and appreciative of your marriage again.

Organize a get-away together and just tell him to cool his relations with your friend as you don't feel all that comfortable with wha is going on with them.

Own those feelings girl, own them!!!

posted August 22, 2013 09:08 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Bluejay:
Please forgive me if I'm way off, but I cannot shake the feeling that this is not about the charts. I think it is very insensitive that others have suggested that you do not love your husband, or you are stupid for introducing your friend to him. You were trying to help your friend, that's what friends do.

I apologize in advance if this offends you, but I think that you are having second thoughts about your marriage. Either you have noticed a "look" or "vibe" that your husband and friend are giving each other, or you are dealing with insecurities about your relationship and letting your imagination run wild.

Maybe the answer is as simple as you are just not sure about your future together, and these insecurities about the marriage are coming to the surface.

---

posted August 23, 2013 01:03 PM            

But, here is the thing. You have learned this information because of your chart. If, you did not have the chart you might not know of the potential problems and not give it any more thought. The key word is "potential". Even without the chart, the potential is always around, learn how to protect what is yours regardless of whether or not you read about it in some chart.

On the other hand, guys don't need a chart to know that every other guy on the planet may be eyeing his other half. They will take precautions to guard their investment.

In my opinion, the Synastry chart is one of the best tools to have around if you are an open minded person who wants to be surrounded with positive people (people who are compatible with you - without the romantic tag, so this can include same sex people too). Drop the equation of romantic relationships, out of the people that you meet and this tool will have you being with a ton of people you like, at work or at play! All with the potential for romance. But, you are an adult and understand that you are not going to fall over yourself every time you see and meet a jaw dropping person. Right!? And if you use the Synastry tool in this way, you should respect your other half in having the same rights.

There may be an easier way to read and understand complicated Synastry pie chart aspects. Pie chart aspects can also be produced onto a basic Synastry Aspect Chart, a color coded chart. Review the sample chart at your leisure. It may help you gain even more insight than you currently have.
http://risingpeople.wix.com/synastry-aspecting

http://risingpeople.wix.com/synastry-aspecting#!in-the-closet-astro-tools/c1s43

posted August 23, 2013 02:00 PM            

You seem like a caring person who wants to do the right thing. You have done nothing wrong. Trust in your decision and trust that they will do the honorable thing in respecting your marriage. Be happy with them as friends. And do not worry about the possibilities until something happens.