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Author
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Topic: should i stay or should i go? my husband seems to be more compatible with my friend!
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ana_bee
Newflake Posts: 5
From: germany
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted August 22, 2013 03:34 AM
  
I love my husband, and I've always been willing to work things out, make it better, but we're kind of in a rut right now, and if I'm really honest with myself, it appears we approach our lives very differently. It's not that I hadn't known it before, I knew this would happen eventually, I just thought we could work everything out as long as our feeling were strong enough.Recently I introduced him to an old friend of mine. She was looking for a job and since they're working in the same field..I thought it would be a very good idea to team them up.
He was very pleased with her, and hired her. To check if things would really work out for them.. just for fun, I did a synastry and a composite...and it turns out those two are basically a match made in heaven! And not just professionaly. in composite:
-lots of planets in 1st house
-venus in 12th house conj the asc
-composite north node in 4th house !
-venus square mars
-saturn in 5th house in synastry:
-his dc line goes through her first house and vice versa
-her moon falls in her 5th
-his moon in her 8th
-his jupiter conj her north node !
-her pluto conj his north node !
-although they dont have venus/mars contacts Btw his natal Saturn is in his 7th house!
I don't want to be the restrictive force in his life! I don't want to play the role of the woman who's keeping him away from the one he really desires.
What would you do, if you knew your significant other was more compatible with someone else? Btw there are no children involved yet, and we're in our first year of marriage. I'm 28 just like her, he's 36. IP: Logged |
vickymadness
Knowflake Posts: 1433
From: Minnesota
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 22, 2013 03:45 AM
More importantly, how does he feel about this ? I'm sensing here that you want to take an action based solely on your interpretations and not even knowing what he has in mind ?He chose you. No one can please him more! IP: Logged |
Bearee
Knowflake Posts: 287
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted August 22, 2013 04:29 AM
Why are you so insecure? He's married to you..
does he give you the impression that he's falling in love with her? (i think the answer is no and you're just being paranoid)IP: Logged |
ana_bee
Newflake Posts: 5
From: germany
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted August 22, 2013 05:03 AM
Technically, I am indeed paranoid... because you guys are right nothing has happened yet... but if the potential is there I'd rather be prepared. This sounds aweful, I don't mean it like that. It's just that if something is meant to be, I don't want to interfere. I've seen some really bad marriages... I want us to stay together because we're good for each other, not because of some false sense of commitment.I'm new to astrology.. I'm still rooting for the "free will" component in all of this, but honestly we still believe in fated occurances and in some sort of a bigger lifeplan, otherwise we wouldn't be here, right? I mean on this forum. My question is, how should one handle the situattion in which someone you know would be way more compatible with the person you're with? IP: Logged |
anonymidarkness
Knowflake Posts: 3946
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted August 22, 2013 05:08 AM
IP: Logged |
ana_bee
Newflake Posts: 5
From: germany
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted August 22, 2013 05:09 AM
btwDoes a composite North Node in 4th house automatically imply that 2 people will live together, or form a serious personal commitment?
IP: Logged |
Bluejay
Knowflake Posts: 77
From:
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted August 22, 2013 05:17 AM
I don't think that you should put too much emphasis on the charts if there has not been any other indication that something is going on. I hate to say it, but I think there are other reasons that you would suspect that. If your gut tells you that something is up, you should investigate. Woman's intuition when it comes to cheating or attraction is usually pretty accurate, even if they are not intuitive in other areas of life. Even when women are in denial, they usually know deep down, they just don't want to believe it.To leave him based on the fact that he has compatible synastry and composite charts with your friend is absurd. Unfortunately, I think there might have been other signs, otherwise I don't think you would even be comparing their charts in the first place. You need more information before you make a life changing decision, so investigate. Good luck IP: Logged |
its_aqua
Knowflake Posts: 804
From: Mars
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted August 22, 2013 05:20 AM
Relax girl!!! Im compatible with Ryan Gosling but just my luck Im not meeting him anytime soon!
Charts are just charts!
Good synastries doesnt always end to good relationships and bad synastries sometime lead to marriage.
For some reason your husband chose you, and I dont believe that anything between them is going to happen.
You cant take astrology that much seriously.
You should put up your synastry chart with your husband up!
But really, stop worrying! I would worry more if my husband worked at the same place with a Victorias secret mode lookalike than with some girl who happens to share a few good synastry aspects with him
IP: Logged |
Faith
Moderator Posts: 6104
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted August 22, 2013 07:50 AM
quote:
Originally posted by ana_bee:
-composite north node in 4th house !
-venus square mars
My husband and I have a 4H stellium in composite, including NN, and I can't say we are a match made in heaven. It works, but I just don't see this one as worthy of the exclamation point you gave it  I see where you are coming from, wanting to know how they will get along, but sometimes I think it's best to just let the cards fall where they may. You might accidentally encourage them and give confusing signals if you keep their potential attraction on your mind too much. Best wishes  IP: Logged |
iQ
Moderator Posts: 4582
From: Chennai, India
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 22, 2013 08:01 AM
No sane man would dump his wife to hop in bed with a girl with whose composite there is a Saturn in 5th and Mars-Venus square.The North Node looks purely career/business oriented. Maximum, if she looks stunning, he may fantasize sex with her to satisfy the 12th House Venus Composite. I do not think that should be an issue, as most men fantasize sex for a few seconds with every pretty girl they see on the road or on TV. In any case, your marriage cannot break up if there is no Transit Uranus or Saturn affliction to the 7th Cusp of your composite chart. I am sure the Synastry and Composite of you and your husband is better. P.S:
Your Pluto is also conjunct your husband's North Node btw.
------------------
Astrology Articles New Services and short readings IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 49731
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 22, 2013 08:23 AM
Aww I am glad IQ weighed in. I felt so sad when I read your question.I hope you will listen to the wise words of IQ, Friend ------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
next to neptune
Knowflake Posts: 465
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted August 22, 2013 08:50 AM
I know that feeling quiet well. And if you let it, it can dominate your thoughts, and as someone already said - makes you give your husband mixed signals, and some kind of frustration will build up in both of you. So, no matter what it will probably be a bit challenging, because you are obviously a bit jealous and can't get this out of your head. I would like to say to you that synastries doesn't matter, but it's really up to your individual charts to deal with it, cause it does matter.
Just the feeling when you see them together and it looks like they just have that something, that you will never have, it's completely horrible! And you will feel like you lack something compared to her, that makes her more interesting than you right now.
I think all relationships will have to deal with theese issues once in a while, it's such a common fear for almost everyone...
But it's not a reason just to give up so fast. If you have spotted some red flags, maybe you should act on it. But if you havn't seen anything I think it's better to try and ignore it, and see if it passes away.
But if you keep having a bad feeling you should act on it too... IP: Logged |
geea
Knowflake Posts: 717
From: hitchhiking through the galaxy
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted August 22, 2013 09:25 AM
quote:
Originally posted by ana_bee:
What would you do, if you knew your significant other was more compatible with someone else? Btw there are no children involved yet, and we're in our first year of marriage. I'm 28 just like her, he's 36.
Honestly? if there is no real sign of him wanting out I wouldn't give up, period. Actually i'd take it as a challenge to improve our relationship.
They could have the whole solar system compatible and I wouldn't care. It's choices that determine destiny not astral bodies.
You are his wife, this is not the situation where you get to play the martyr and give up your happiness.
wish you the best  IP: Logged |
Lyrica
Knowflake Posts: 104
From: USA
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted August 22, 2013 09:40 AM
I think you need to ask yourself why you are thinking about and so willing to give your husband up? What is troubling you? ------------------
Sun Pisces
Scorpio Rising
Taurus Moon
Venus in Capricorn
Mars In Leo "Can't run from myself-there's nowhere to hide"
"That's who I am, 1000% illusion" IP: Logged |
asclibrasagsun
Knowflake Posts: 2399
From: Mälmo, Sweden
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted August 22, 2013 10:37 AM
Wow sounds like you really don't love your husband if you just pushed him towards another woman.No offense but that's a really dumb thing you did there. I think they will end up having an affair behind your back if they haven't started one already, HELLO COMPOSITE VENUS IN THE 12th HOUSE = HIDDEN AFFAIR... But seriously why the hell would you let your husband get to know another woman? If you loved him you should fight for him and protect him, work things out, and NOT introduce other females that he will like. Seriously, it sounds like you don't appreciate having a husband in your life...you're just like here you go take him girls...
WHERE IN THE WORLD IS THAT ABSOLUTELY CONSIDERED NORMAL?!
Absolutely nowhere. I think you took him for granted and now you're going to looooooose him
Congratulations
And I'm so sorry if I offended you but your whole OP just sounded plain old stupid...
you NEVER EVER INTRODUCE another woman to your man...
doesn't matter if you think you love him or don't love him
if he was yours, you had a commitment, you DO NOT introduce women to him for the professional purpose or for personal...its a NO NO NO! IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6351
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted August 22, 2013 11:10 AM
This is your first year of marriage.Are you having cold feet? IP: Logged |
geea
Knowflake Posts: 717
From: hitchhiking through the galaxy
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted August 22, 2013 11:36 AM
quote:
Originally posted by asclibrasagsun:
But seriously why the hell would you let your husband get to know another woman?
maybe she wanted to test him. ------------------
”Sing what you can't say
Forget what you can't play
Hasten to drown into beautiful eyes
Walk within my poetry, this dying music
My loveletter to nobody” ”Dead Boy's Poem” IP: Logged |
asclibrasagsun
Knowflake Posts: 2399
From: Mälmo, Sweden
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted August 22, 2013 11:52 AM
quote:
Originally posted by geea:
maybe she wanted to test him.
IF YOU ARE MARRIED AND YOU FEEL THE NEED TO TEST YOUR PARTNER YOU SHOULD NOT BE MARRIED TO THEM.
THIS IS A CLEAR INDICATION THAT YOU DO NOT TRUST THEM. IP: Logged |
hikoro
Knowflake Posts: 1092
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 22, 2013 11:58 AM
i dont think you really love or respect your husband. IP: Logged |
Faith
Moderator Posts: 6104
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted August 22, 2013 01:26 PM
There's the old saying, "if you love someone, you let them go." Let's not be harsh. Some people have actually gone through situations like this: loving their partner enough to graciously let them bow out of a relationship. One of my favorite authors, Haven Kimmel, makes it known that she adores her second husband...and also is very grateful to her first husband, who let her leave their marriage without any bitterness. She just found someone else she loved more. In American society, at least...who can really throw the first stone, you know? IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6351
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted August 22, 2013 02:22 PM
Right after the wedding? [well, within the first year]The other woman would already be "swimming with the fishes" as far as my wife is concerned. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6351
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted August 22, 2013 02:24 PM
I don't know if you women folk have any unwritten rules.In the male universe, you mess around with another man's wife, especially the wife of your buddy, and you can consider yourself a dead man. IP: Logged |
geea
Knowflake Posts: 717
From: hitchhiking through the galaxy
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted August 22, 2013 02:43 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
There's the old saying, "if you love someone, you let them go." Let's not be harsh. Some people have actually gone through situations like this: loving their partner enough to graciously let them bow out of a relationship.
you don't graciously let them bow out of a marriage just because of a composite chart ------------------
”Sing what you can't say
Forget what you can't play
Hasten to drown into beautiful eyes
Walk within my poetry, this dying music
My loveletter to nobody” ”Dead Boy's Poem” IP: Logged |
Faith
Moderator Posts: 6104
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted August 22, 2013 03:10 PM
quote:
Originally posted by geea:
you don't graciously let them bow out of a marriage just because of a composite chart
They wouldn't have seen the composite and bowed out just because of it. IP: Logged |
page one
Knowflake Posts: 135
From: USA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted August 22, 2013 03:12 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
There's the old saying, "if you love someone, you let them go." Let's not be harsh. Some people have actually gone through situations like this: loving their partner enough to graciously let them bow out of a relationship. One of my favorite authors, Haven Kimmel, makes it known that she adores her second husband...and also is very grateful to her first husband, who let her leave their marriage without any bitterness. She just found someone else she loved more. In American society, at least...who can really throw the first stone, you know?
Go back and read the OP's post again. She says at the beginning that a year into the marriage she feels she's in a rut, so it isn't about loving them enough to let them go. There's something else involved here, and it's within the marriage itself. IP: Logged |
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