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Author
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Topic: I admit I don't understand...
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vickymadness
Knowflake Posts: 1182
From: Minnesota
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 22, 2013 09:23 PM
  
Also the Saturn conjunctions to each others' angles ( IC & DSC ), maybe that's why he's holding on you, and I'm guessing you're the same IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 6143
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted August 22, 2013 09:23 PM
quote:
Originally posted by vickymadness:
I'm throwing a wild guess in here, but I see you're having planets in his 12H, making him feel uncertain about the relationship so he's coming back for reassurance but not being able to open up out of insecurity ?Also pluto-venus opposition in composition is quite addictive.
He has planets in my h12 also...
At least, I can deal with him head on...
He doesn't want to deal with the issue, and wants to just pretend nothing happen..
It's excuses...
I'm not willing do it anymore.
Yeah, Venus/Pluto and moon/pluto is addictive.. I agree..
IP: Logged |
page one
Knowflake Posts: 82
From: USA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted August 22, 2013 09:24 PM
Have you noticed that he's got Lilith conjunct your stellium? IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 6143
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted August 22, 2013 09:25 PM
quote:
Originally posted by vickymadness:
Also the Saturn conjunctions to each others' angles ( IC & DSC ), maybe that's why he's holding on you, and I'm guessing you're the same
The Saturn/IC is just me.. That's my natal.
My Saturn doesn't conjunct his angle, but yes his Saturn is on my dsc. IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 6143
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted August 22, 2013 09:27 PM
quote:
Originally posted by page one:
Have you noticed that he's got Lilith conjunct your stellium?
Yes.. But I've never really been able to find out all the meanings and put it all together will my stellium. Not sure how it plays out. IP: Logged |
Zander916
Knowflake Posts: 346
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted August 22, 2013 09:33 PM
I haven't read all the comments. I'm Leo and yeah, you sound like me a bit. I hate those games although I don't think it's games to them. Still annoys me. I give them a couple chances to just come out with it. Otherwise I'm just like, "well find me when you're ready but I'm not going to wait."
If I were in your shoes I'd probably be more harsh but I'm not nice. LOL
"if you have something important to say then get it out. Let's hear it. If it's just work crap. You can talk to anyone about that so don't waste my time."I'm not like this with everyone but that sounds annoying IP: Logged |
vickymadness
Knowflake Posts: 1182
From: Minnesota
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 22, 2013 09:35 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Lioness:
The Saturn/IC is just me.. That's my natal.
My Saturn doesn't conjunct his angle, but yes his Saturn is on my dsc.
My bad.
You're right, if he's not able to man up then let him deal with his BS alone. You deserve to be happy with someone who won't make you doubt anything or post about your uncertainties in a forum. I had the same experience with a Pisces guy, but being my Aries self I had to cut the BS so quickly. IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 3609
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted August 22, 2013 09:38 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Zander916:
I haven't read all the comments. I'm Leo and yeah, you sound like me a bit. I hate those games although I don't think it's games to them. Still annoys me. I give them a couple chances to just come out with it. Otherwise I'm just like, "well find me when you're ready but I'm not going to wait."
If I were in your shoes I'd probably be more harsh but I'm not nice. LOL
"if you have something important to say then get it out. Let's hear it. If it's just work crap. You can talk to anyone about that so don't waste my time."I'm not like this with everyone but that sounds annoying
She says she already expressed her frustration at him but he keeps returning and wants to small talk, sounds like.
IP: Logged |
Zander916
Knowflake Posts: 346
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted August 22, 2013 09:44 PM
quote:
Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Zander916:
[b]I haven't read all the comments. I'm Leo and yeah, you sound like me a bit. I hate those games although I don't think it's games to them. Still annoys me. I give them a couple chances to just come out with it. Otherwise I'm just like, "well find me when you're ready but I'm not going to wait."
If I were in your shoes I'd probably be more harsh but I'm not nice. LOL
"if you have something important to say then get it out. Let's hear it. If it's just work crap. You can talk to anyone about that so don't waste my time."I'm not like this with everyone but that sounds annoying
She says she already expressed her frustration at him but he keeps returning and wants to small talk, sounds like.[/B][/QUOTE]Block his number?
I do what I feel I need to do.
But it's cool. Whatever people want to do. (genuinely mean that)
I'll admit, I'm not great at this stuff and what I said was a half-hearted suggestion you might say.
Probably I shouldn't have said anything. My way just creates enemies usually but I'm not so much bothered by that. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 45574
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 22, 2013 09:45 PM
Lilith is raw sexuality.------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 6143
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted August 22, 2013 09:51 PM
I was harsh... I wasn't nice at all... That's when we stopped talking... A month later, he calls me like nothing. I'm starting to feel like, no matter what I can't get out if this..
At the same time, I really really did have deep feelings for him...
But I'm just at the point, that I can't deal with it anymore..
I want to move forward, and it's been really hard and a struggle.. I have worked so hard to do that..
I feel like him calling me like nothing, but me back 20 steps... IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 3609
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted August 22, 2013 09:54 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Zander916:
Block his number?
I do what I feel I need to do.
But it's cool. Whatever people want to do. (genuinely mean that)
I'll admit, I'm not great at this stuff and what I said was a half-hearted suggestion you might say.
Probably I shouldn't have said anything. My way just creates enemies usually but I'm not so much bothered by that.
She works with him.IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 2783
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted August 22, 2013 09:57 PM
My guess is he comes back because you don't block him and agree to talk to him when he calls. As long as you're still nibbling (which is what you're doing when you even acknowledge his existence) then he thinks he still has a shot...or at least it gives him something to do when bored.Here, a song that hopefully puts you in the right head space next time he tries his games:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtlfFiiZdVQ IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 6143
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted August 22, 2013 09:58 PM
You know what... As I typed the above post, I realized I'm drawing myself back into the situation...
Then I get frustrated and obsessed over it... I'm working on getting away from it, so going over it again and again isn't healthy...
So to keep my sanity, I deleted most of my post especially the negative ones... I will accept it as, it is what it is...
If he keeps coming back, that's his issue not mine..
I'm no longer going to allow my self to get stuck in his pattern... Thank you to all that replied, 20 steps backwards 21 steps forward  IP: Logged |
Zander916
Knowflake Posts: 346
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted August 22, 2013 10:00 PM
I've done it to people I work with. They get the hint. But I'll be quiet. I'm sure it's an unpopular idea. IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 3609
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted August 22, 2013 10:05 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Zander916:
I've done it to people I work with. They get the hint. But I'll be quiet. I'm sure it's an unpopular idea.
I'm not sure what I would do if I worked with him. I would probably see him nearly everyday too and would end up talking. It's hard to avoid people you work with. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 2783
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted August 22, 2013 10:12 PM
quote:
Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
I'm not sure what I would do if I worked with him. I would probably see him nearly everyday too and would end up talking. It's hard to avoid people you work with.
Not really. If he's playing head games then he's not doing his job, and neither is his victim. It should be easy to insist he not talk to her and if the boss cares at all about actual work being done then s/he should insist the Pisces not interact with her, that is if he continues to disregard position by talking to her when she has firmly (with no mixed messages) told him not to (if he won't respect her then maybe he'll respect the boss). And ironically, I'd think it would be the Pisces who'd have a hard time saying "no" to harassment & head games instead of the Leo... IP: Logged |
bethbabe
Knowflake Posts: 225
From: CA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted August 22, 2013 10:15 PM
pisces men.....never dated one, but maybe i should stray away....IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 2783
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted August 22, 2013 10:16 PM
They're not all bad. There have only been 2 men I enjoyed dating and one was a Pisces. Obviously the other placements matter, as does upbringing, etc. IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 3609
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted August 22, 2013 10:21 PM
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
Not really. If he's playing head games then he's not doing his job, and neither is his victim. It should be easy to insist he not talk to her and if the boss cares at all about actual work being done then s/he should insist the Pisces not interact with her, that is if he continues to disregard position by talking to her when she has firmly (with no mixed messages) told him not to (if he won't respect her then maybe he'll respect the boss). And ironically, I'd think it would be the Pisces who'd have a hard time saying "no" to harassment & head games instead of the Leo...
I hear ya but what if they need to talk about work from time to time? Not an easy situation to be in imo.IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 6143
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted August 22, 2013 10:51 PM
I don't want to completely block him, on a business perspective he's a hell of a worker, and he does a really great job... If I need anything at all, he will go out of his way to make it happen, he will go beyond the call of duty.
So I really don't want to be on bad terms...
I don't have a general problem having a business discussion..
What bothered me or frustrated me, is that we werent on speaking terms what's ever..
He used business as an excuse to call me, which he openly admitted, which is fine also.. I can understand using that as a way to get in the door..
What frustrated me is he then said I wanted to talk about us and what happen... I agreed and said ok.. I'm open to have this discussion..
Then he backed off, saying sorry can't do it right now, we will finish it later, later he said the same thing, sorry can't discuss it, it will have to be later...
Then when he sees me, he wonders why I didn't have a full on conversation with him...
It's cuz we haven't resolved anything in my eyes, but in his eyes we have, that the disagreement is over cuz we "talked" and we are on speaking terms.. So I think he's thinking why discuss it, he's avoiding the real issue here.That's why I'm so frustrated, why call me to discuss it and then back down from discussing it, and figuring everything is back to normal..
When it's not.
On a side note, he has a big heart, he's a good guy over all.. He has his a-hole side, but I have really enjoyed his company..
We have always maintained a friendship..
That friendship has been important to me, but at this point.
It's just getting so hard to deal with on a mental level.
It's just a lot of things going on between us..
IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 2783
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted August 23, 2013 01:18 AM
If he's worth it then OK, but don't expect different results in the future. What you've experienced for years (?) is what you'll keep on experiencing in the years (?) to come. If he's worth it then if it were me I'd develop a sense of humor about it (and maybe use him for inspiration of a character in a story or comic) so I could handle the inevitable crap rather than letting him get to me over and over and over again. However, he might escalate matters once he realizes he's not upsetting you anymore if he gets a sense of power from it (or comfort from dysfunctional drama as some people raised with that do) so maybe there's not a point of trying not to let him get to you as he'll go as far as he must to make you react. IP: Logged |
Brendan34
Knowflake Posts: 50
From: Albany, NY, USA
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted August 23, 2013 02:35 AM
I'm a Pisces man but can be upfront with my feelings when needed. But I do feel hesitant at first.Maybe if you're coming on a little strong it's overwhelming to him. Not all Pisces men have trouble saying what they feel though. IP: Logged |
mir
Knowflake Posts: 1174
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 23, 2013 07:52 AM
quote:
. What frustrated me is he then said I wanted to talk about us and what happen... I agreed and said ok.. I'm open to have this discussion..
Then he backed off, saying sorry can't do it right now, we will finish it later, later he said the same thing, sorry can't discuss it, it will have to be later...
Then when he sees me, he wonders why I didn't have a full on conversation with him...
It's cuz we haven't resolved anything in my eyes, but in his eyes we have, that the disagreement is over cuz we "talked" and we are on speaking terms.. So I think he's thinking why discuss it, he's avoiding the real issue here.
That's why I'm so frustrated, why call me to discuss it and then back down from discussing it, and figuring everything is back to normal..
When it's not.
I notice the *EXACT* same things with pisces (being leo).. and the *exact* same frustrations related to them.. it's like I hear myself talking here.
Last night I had a real deep conversation about this with a friend.
As humans we're prone to walk over things as if it's *nothing*.. to step over frustrations as if we can just wipe them off.. we do that already in the beginning of a 'relationship' .. but these things are much much bigger than we may think. Only on an unconscious level we feel somehow the stored frustrations/anger (which never talked through/cleared up) that grabbed us earlier. At the least it can only be moments in which you wanted to talk things out, but as the other party wasn't (cap)able doing so, you also stepped over it.. and what's left of us finally? A vulcan that has no choice than to erupt one day as we're so f*kkin done with all the unhealthy avoiding (Pisces!) stuff .. that we may even think we are hysterical or something like it. BUT no, the 'red flag' or 'signs' (when we look back) were there already in the beginning... and we stored and stored.. without a way back - how painful that may be. We just don't *fit* together.
OK, I saw the light last night for A-MOMENT! And just *tried* to share a little bit of that ....  In the-same process here. IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 6143
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted August 23, 2013 08:50 PM
Update for you guys.. First thank you to everyone that replied...
Everyone's input is valuable..
I don't see as playing games, but I did see him as avoiding the issue. He called me to make up, but didn't want to resolve the issue.
Here is why we stopped talking..
I was a lil upset with him, can't remember why now.. Lol
It was really bothering me, so I had texted him saying I was upset, his answer back to me was "why are you acting up"
Oo boy I lost it, and I just went into f.. U mode back..
He heard the lioness roar. I said some really harsh things to him.
At first i said that one phrase just killed our relationship , and I expressed in a not so nicely way how happy I was to be done with him..how I was going to go celebrate...
You know the Leo dramatic way.
He ignored me, but a few days later text me to buy me lunch.. I then ignored him.
Feeling like he was trying to buy forgiveness. Which wasn't for sale.
We didn't talk since...
Until when I posted that he called me this week. Wanting to make up.With that I wanted to give an update.. I was in his mangers office.. Talking about business.. Then another employee came in, and the 3 of us were talking chit chat, business gossip etc...
Fishy walked in, non surprised to see me, but gave me a look..
I finished my conversation. I went into his office we chatted for a few minutes.. Mostly business no biggie.. Well it was bugging me, that we still haven't talked about what happen..
So I called him, and I said you know there's some things that just need to be said.
He said ok, but sounded like ooo crap, here we go.. So I really dug deep and I was really honest with what I was thinking/feeling. As a self protection, I wanted to say he that was messed up, and made me feel like crap.
But I dug deeper inside my self for the real reason I was so upset...
I told him, I went to you, because I was upset, and when I saw those words, I was so deeply hurt by them, that I just can't express into words.. My preception, the way I took it was I don't give a flying f... About what your feeling, your wasting my time. I said that really hurt, so I then reacted negatively to you, not caring about your feelings, and saying everything I said.. When I said it, it was so harsh, because that's how bad I was hurt over it. He said that he was in a good mood that day, and when he got the text, he replied in a joking manner, meaning don't be a brat, ha ha ha... If your not a brat, then you won't be upset.. Something like that.. Idk.. Still kinda off.. I said to him, I just was upset, and I wanted to matter, and you showed me that I didn't matter, and it hurt my feelings. I thought I mattered. He said wait, what don't you know you matter???
I said no, I don't, not after that..
He said oo wow, lioness I'm soooo sorry, I should have picked up on that, but I didn't realize that it upset you that much..
He should I should have cleared it right then and there, but I just got upset when you said those things. He said lioness you matter more than you will ever know!!
I will do anything for you, I'll always be here.
He said you matter so much, that when you were in my bosses office, I heard you from the very beginning, and I was around the corner listening to the whole conversation.
You matter so much, that I know your good friends with a male co worker, that I don't like it..
You matter so much. I know you had a conversation with worker, he didn't tell me it was you, but I knew it was you.
If you didn't matter I wouldnt be looking out for things like that, I would never put it together..
He said you matter so much to me, more than I can ever express to you.. I said oo wow, thank you, I feel so much better now and relieved. So I feel the situation is resolved, I feel much better that we had this conversation.
I'm glad I told him, the real reason why I was so upset.. IP: Logged |
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