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Author Topic:   Can you learn to control your anger if you have many hard mars aspects?
next to neptune
Knowflake

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posted August 29, 2013 03:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for next to neptune     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have kinda an angry chart....
I have mars opposition full moon in pisces. And mars square uranus and conjunction sun!
It's like really angry aspects!

I really can't control myself if I just got p***** off by something. I just really have to leave the place or get it out.

But can you learn to keep it in?? Is it even possible at all to control your anger?
Do you know anyone with these kind of aspects to mars, who isn't angry at all and learned how to control it?

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somethingexcellent
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From: vodka fine, I'm so divine
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posted August 29, 2013 04:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for somethingexcellent     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Mars opposite Pisces can be very cantankerous...square Uranus is violent. But I think u can!!!

My Mars makes nothing but squares and I turned out fine!!

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next to neptune
Knowflake

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posted August 29, 2013 04:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for next to neptune     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by somethingexcellent:
Mars opposite Pisces can be very cantankerous...square Uranus is violent. But I think u can!!!

My Mars makes nothing but squares and I turned out fine!! :D


I dont feel like I'm violent, but you know "if eyes could kill" then I must have killed many:/
What kind of squares do you have?

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StarlightSmileSupreme
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From: neptune
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posted August 29, 2013 04:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarlightSmileSupreme     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My Mars has one five degree orb square and one that's a whopping nine something degrees. I don't like to count that one lol. I think of it as a mostly unaspected Mars since nothing's too close. I consider myself much better at managing anger than others I know. I see people losing it and hitting or stabbing on the news. People I grew up with were inclined to hit others when angry. Sometimes they want to get their guns luckily they haven't yet but who knows?
Mars never goes to that level with me.

I knew a sun Cancer with an Aries moon who had to attend anger management courses. She was required to do it.

Regarding your inquiry, YES you can control it! It's more than possible to control. What someone should do is take classes on it, these can open their eyes so they won't feel so bad and isolated. Lots of people struggle with this and you can learn to deal with anger that appears larger than life.

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somethingexcellent
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From: vodka fine, I'm so divine
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posted August 29, 2013 05:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for somethingexcellent     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Mars opposite Pisces, I mean opposite Moon whoopsie!

My Mars is square my Sun and square Jupiter. These aren't angry aspects so much as restless aspects!

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Zander916
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posted August 29, 2013 05:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Zander916     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You can do anything regardless of placements. It's only a matter of how easy or difficult it will be for you. Plus your obstacles could be different even if someone else shared the same chart.

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ScorpioMoon
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posted August 29, 2013 05:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ScorpioMoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm sure you can, although, I don't have as many harsh mars aspects as you. My Mars square Saturn makes be really irritable, bitter, and violent and what I like to do to control myself is to look at things objectively when things go wrong, or someone ****** me off. It usually works.

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Kerosene
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posted August 29, 2013 05:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kerosene     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Is your mars aspected by saturn?

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next to neptune
Knowflake

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posted August 29, 2013 06:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for next to neptune     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
Is your mars aspected by saturn?

No not really, it's only uranus
My mars is 27,38 degrees in virgo and saturn is 7,9 in capricorn, so I guess it is too wide

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Jkitty
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posted August 29, 2013 09:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jkitty     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by next to neptune:
I really can't control myself if I just got p***** off by something. I just really have to leave the place or get it out.

But can you learn to keep it in?? Is it even possible at all to control your anger?
Do you know anyone with these kind of aspects to mars, who isn't angry at all and learned how to control it?


There is a big difference between controlling your anger and not having any. Controlling it is NOT about keeping it in (that would be very unhealthy-depression is anger turned inward). You need to find healthy, appropriate non damaging wayS to release it.

Anger is always a SECONDARY emotion and men especially tend to go automatically to angry because it's a less painful emotion and more socially acceptable in some cultures. You need to get "underneath it" to find what the primary emotion is (hurt of some kind). Once you deal with the primary emotion behind the anger, the anger gets released.

Sometimes its just a matter of realizing that you're hurting because someone disrespected you or overlooked you or betrayed you or treated you unfairly. That allows you to address the real issue and make things better or just choose to walk away from an unpleasant situation.

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StarlightSmileSupreme
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posted August 29, 2013 09:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarlightSmileSupreme     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It helps to become aware of the anger cycle. You start out feeling very angry and this might be after you've felt on edge all day for whatever reason. Something happens, it ticks you off, BOOM you just feel enraged. This is the beginning of a cycle in your mind. It starts very intensely but after a bit it isn't as intense and eventually, it calms down so much, you could feel kinda foolish for being that angry in the first place. The key is to wait out the beginning without doing anything anti social and to not feed that cycle so it is prolonged. Just be patient, take your mind off it and wait it out.

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Zander916
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posted August 29, 2013 10:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Zander916     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
It helps to become aware of the anger cycle. You start out feeling very angry and this might be after you've felt on edge all day for whatever reason. Something happens, it ticks you off, BOOM you just feel enraged. This is the beginning of a cycle in your mind. It starts very intensely but after a bit it isn't as intense and eventually, it calms down so much, you could feel kinda foolish for being that angry in the first place. The key is to wait out the beginning without doing anything anti social and to not feed that cycle so it is prolonged. Just be patient, take your mind off it and wait it out.

Nicely put. I agree. Funny that most here probably would not agree but normally I'm pretty chill. When I get angry it's because I've set myself up for it - 99% of the time. Really think about it without making ANY excuse whatsoever. If you have to use "but" or "if" in it then something is wrong. "but they did this." or "but if this didn't happen".

Recently, I fell into a trap that I set myself. I can now look back and see it from weeks ago.

Also find an outlet. I have a few. Exercise, chilling to music, taking a drive or walk.
Whatever brings you the most peace.
Once in a while I don't feel like seeing anyone and being alone. I'll force myself to go visit family or my best friend. I might be a bit quiet but I eventually come around when it might have stuck with me otherwise.

There's no one good answer really. It's something that you have to discover the cause and solution to. Even then you may have a slip-up.
Just forgive yourself, think about what you did wrong (how you failed to maintain control) and try again.

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StarlightSmileSupreme
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From: neptune
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posted August 29, 2013 10:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarlightSmileSupreme     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Zander - I find people to be on edge, with that tense feeling, then something sets them off and they lose it, or, they have a specific target they consistently take their anger out on, so in their mind, they have excused this and told themselves it's okay for some reason. They can keep their anger somewhat in check, when their target is around, that's when they let go. I have known people who have expressed anger using this particular pattern before and the BOOM kind too, who have been placed on edge and experience the one trigger.

Maybe it's because of the Aries descendant, I have been around people with bad tempers which is why I have such an easy time understanding what they need. Most often, it's space, until they can cool down.

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Zander916
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posted August 29, 2013 11:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Zander916     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
True.
Space, no question.
My target varies based on what upset me. I made a butthole of myself but oh well. No one really got hurt so screw it. LOL

There is a guy at work who just LOSES it at machines. I try not to laugh when I hear him yelling things from across the room.
He admitted to it the other day. We didn't bring it up. He said if we try to help he won't take it out on us so to not be afraid to. So glad he did. I've wanted to help but didn't know if I should approach him at all.
Understanding the individual is important. I wasn't that way. I am now, if someone just confronts me the correct way it's like a date rape drug.
Okay not quite like that. I'll often apologize.

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next to neptune
Knowflake

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posted August 30, 2013 02:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for next to neptune     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:

Also find an outlet. I have a few. Exercise, chilling to music, taking a drive or walk.
Whatever brings you the most peace.
[/B]

I already do exercise a lot, but it doesn't help and I know why. Cause when I lose it, it happens so quick, that there is almost no time to think or control anything.
I think sun square mars and mars square moon is something else than the opposition. The square is some frustration inside you. The opposition is some frustration from the outside, and an otherwise completely nice situation can suddenly blow up like a random gunshot by some little thing I said cause of a small frustration from all the others, and I just trickered it, but I didn't meant to. The opposition makes a completely other situation than the square. The square is pure anger I think, and here you can work with yourself, because it was you who started the conflict in the first place. The opposition is more random, and it is not so much my own fault as with the square.
So it is also hard to tell when it happens. Therefore the "anger cycle" don't work for me either. Cause I don't really have a cycle, I can have a perfect and calm day, and even then I can blow the whole thing up and make people angry in a second. It happens so fast that there is no time to analyze the situation.
I think it is good to take the conflicts, cause there wouldn't be an angry situation without some frustration that took it's time to build up. So when it is somewhat a kind of coincidence that trigger it all with the opposition, I might have a chance to make it good afterwards?
Maybe I can't always help that I triggered the situation, but maybe I can learn how to handle it more well before it gets even worse?

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IrisRainbow
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posted August 30, 2013 02:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for IrisRainbow     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have some harsh aspects that indicate anger too but I guess my sun square saturn is what keeps me out of teenage jail lol

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Zander916
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posted August 30, 2013 03:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Zander916     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Could be. I have all kinds of things going on in my chart not so good.
I do have Mars and Mercury both square moon, and Sun square Jupiter.

I'm not anywhere near an Astrology expert just an FYI.
I used to be that way when younger. Really really bad. Like you said, just like a gunshot. I'd go from 1 to 1,000 on the anger scale in a split second!
Are you younger in age? <30 for example?

I found as I got older I could control it a lot better, foresee it a lot better, buy some time to think it through, and most important just not allow things to get me upset.
Looking online I found that Mars "matures" around 28 years of age. That sounds about right for myself.

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venuscorpio86
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From: salem,or usa
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posted August 30, 2013 03:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for venuscorpio86     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
booo I have hard sun/mars aspect and moon/mars aspect I totally dislike I can get very very mean at times I worked on controlling it and sometimes its successful I think it takes alot for us though. It doesnt make us bad ppl either I think sometimes we just loose it! I can go along time without being angry then all sudden there it is! I'm angry.

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anonymidarkness
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posted August 30, 2013 03:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for anonymidarkness     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I’ve got moon/mars, mars/jupiter, mars/pluto and I’ve got anger issues as well. I usually leave before I blow up, kick the door or something on my way out. Exercises, sports and martial arts helped me a lot. Painting, playing musical instruments also help but those are not as effective as physical activities in my experience. You can’t get very angry when you are very exhausted. I know my limit very well now so I can do something about it but yeah sometimes sh*t happens.

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AriesLilith
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posted August 30, 2013 12:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AriesLilith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have Taurus Mars oppose Scorpio Pluto and both square Aquarius Jupiter. I do have anger conflicts at times, but I rarely lose control. But then I usually don't have conflicts with other people as I'm not assertive enough. I guess that my husband is the only one with whom I can have problems, since he's the only one with whom I'm intimate enough to have conflicts. When I get too angry or emotional, I tend to try walking away. The only times I've lost it was when he was trying to insist on not letting me go, and I threw my mobile phone to the floor or hit something nearby. But to get violent on him or someone, I think that I can fully control myself to not allow that.

Thought I think that mu violence and anger issues are more... mental. Pluto is in the 3rd while Mars is in the 9th. I also used to fight with my younger brother.

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Lunae
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posted August 30, 2013 02:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lunae     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am moody and I get annoyed easily but as for anger, it takes a while or something grave for me to be seriously angry. I'm the type who bottles it up before I explode.

When I get angry, I get irrational to the point of tears, which is annoying, honestly But then, crying is a better outlet for me because I have the tendency to get violent if I let pure anger take over.

I've got no squares to my mars but since a conjunction is a hard aspect, I think my sun-mars-pluto conj counts.

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starmoon
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posted August 30, 2013 04:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starmoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
you can learn to control it, yes. i have sun conjunct mars and pluto, so i like to yell and fight and could resort to violence - i never have but i could see myself being pushed to hitting someone if they upset me. but you need an outlet for it if/when you feel that stuff coming on. exercise, activties, journaling, etc. have all helped me control it better

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next to neptune
Knowflake

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posted August 30, 2013 08:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for next to neptune     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by starmoon:
you can learn to control it, yes. i have sun conjunct mars and pluto, so i like to yell and fight and could resort to violence - i never have but i could see myself being pushed to hitting someone if they upset me. but you need an outlet for it if/when you feel that stuff coming on. exercise, activties, journaling, etc. have all helped me control it better

Yes I really believe that unlike someone with a nicer aspect mars, in a nicer sign for an example libra or cancer it is more easy to keep it in...actually I think people with libra or cancer mars never really gets angry at all? I've never seen it before...
But I have a virgo mars conjunct my sun, and that's supposed to give me aries traits, and it really does! Aries are more combat/fighters than the easier signs...we HAVE to get it out, or it will suddenly blow off as a gun, that's just how it is...there is no need to deny that fact

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Dark_Sun9
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posted August 30, 2013 08:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dark_Sun9     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Mars in Leo 9th house, squared to Scorpio ascendant, scorpio pluto + scorpio jupiter.
Basiacly when i get angry i fill up with a powerful Mars/Plutonic energy and need to do an 'Explosive' workout .. haha

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venuscorpio86
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From: salem,or usa
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posted September 02, 2013 03:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for venuscorpio86     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
They are so odd about texting. I text Virgo today after not initiating or talking, texting him all week long, today I did..he didn't reply right away instead hours later :-/ very short, I after that didn't respond back...two things he tends to let his phone die over the weekend, won't charge it, he never carries his charger with him, maybe that is why? SO weird! He pretty much always texts back, but takes awhile...a creature I'll never understand if he doesn't want to talk to me at all I would rather him say that upfront be painfully honest.

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