posted November 03, 2013 02:06 PM            

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H any of you with Venus Aquarius ever been with a Venus in Pisces?

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No but I kinda feel like one sometimes

posted November 08, 2013 04:16 PM            

I absolutely understand that they want their space and they don't want someone to tell them what to do. What generally upsets me about them is the fact that they seem to assume that when I'm actually ASKING them to express what they want/need from me, that I am somehow attacking them or trying to take away their freedom. I cannot read their minds, and I will not try to do so (because generally if I try to assume something about them, it backfires anyway).

So the irony is, I'm generally trying to figure out from THEM what they want/need from me emotionally, but they seem to interpret this as my somehow trying to take away their freedom or telling them to be a different way than who they actually are. I'M NOT! It is utterly flabbergasting and disheartening for me, because they generally become combative/passive aggressive with me after awhile, and I truly feel like it all stems from a giant misunderstanding. I would prefer to continue to have them in my life, but I also do not like to be actively challenged when I am simply asking questions to get a better idea of how to have a better relationship with them or I am telling them concretely that I need a certain thing in order to feel appreciated. I'm not asking them to tell me their deepest feelings (and I'm generally not sharing mine either) and I'm not asking them to change. It is their overreaction to this type of communication that utterly baffles me.

posted November 08, 2013 08:34 PM            

I think Aqua don't know what they want emotionally because they intellectualize everything. Aquas are also very insecure (even tho they dont admit it) and highly independent So it might be better to ask if you can do a, b, c, d after you already take notes in your head that a certain aqua needs something from you. It's kinda annoying but if you ask them directly what they want from you emotionally, I would assume their answer being "nothing."

I dont think they assume your intentions, they just pull away when they feel people are coming too close.

Example of me with another aqua:
aqua: wanna go get something to eat
me (knowing the person probably needs to talk to me): ok let's go.

Then we talk about "what's going on," not "what's wrong."

posted November 10, 2013 12:19 PM            

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@enchantress299: what are your astro combinations?

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I'm a Virgo (Sun, Venus, Mercury), Scorpio Rising, with a lot of fire (grand trine- Aries Moon, Leo Mars, Sagittarius Jupier and Uranus). So, for the most part, I tend to assume that air and fire signs initially like me because they assume I'm more like them (I'm fun, confident, and positive on the surface). But then after awhile, there is some piece of our friendship/relationship that breaks down, and it often has to do with communication and/or values.

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I think Aqua don't know what they want emotionally because they intellectualize everything. Aquas are also very insecure (even tho they dont admit it) and highly independent So it might be better to ask if you can do a, b, c, d after you already take notes in your head that a certain aqua needs something from you. It's kinda annoying but if you ask them directly what they want from you emotionally, I would assume their answer being "nothing."

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Well, at what point is it a cop out to say that an Aqua is afraid of his emotions (and/or he doesn't even understand his own emotions), instead of saying he simply doesn't like something about you which is why he pulls back? I tend to think that it is actually not so much the fact that Aquas are insecure, and more the fact that Aquas don't approach things directly that makes my approach off putting to them. Now, I said that I asked what they wanted 'emotionally,' but in truth, I would never ask anyone something like that in THOSE terms.

What I mean is that I determined a problem area recently that a Aqua Moon friend of mine seemed to feel uncomfortable talking about (but his actions were speaking VERY loudly), and I simply asked the Aqua influenced person what we could do about it (more like: "Are you sure this is what you want? Is this a situation that we need to reassess?"). I wasn't blamey or shamey- I just wanted an honest, up front answer. His immediate reaction was defensiveness and he actually started to get angry until I did placate him a little by saying that this situation bothered me and I wanted to be able to resolve it. So he said he'd 'try' and then promptly continued the same actions that he was before. Aqua stubbornness in action. In truth, I think he saw it as an assault on HIM, and I just wanted to come fix the problem between US so I didn't feel like I was getting walked all over.

So yes, I can see that he pulled away when I was coming too close (because we had gotten close over the previous months), but at the same time, it's not just simple pulling away. Some of my other Aqua influenced friends have done this too, and instead of saying anything, it's like they let the problem fester and the other person has to figure out what is going on. One of my Aqua Sun friends unabashedly told people that he was passive aggressive (and oh lord was he- along with being an unabashed liar). The Virgo in me doesn't understand this, because it seems like an exercise in futility to get others to guess/understand what you want without actually addressing the problem.

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Example of me with another aqua:
aqua: wanna go get something to eat
me (knowing the person probably needs to talk to me): ok let's go.

Then we talk about "what's going on," not "what's wrong."

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Yes, but that is assuming that the Aqua even wants to talk about what is going on. It has been my experience that they avoid important conversations, and won't initiate when they have a problem (so I have to read into their actions and do it myself- ESPECIALLY if it is becoming a problem for me). And also, you have to assume (or 'read their mind') on your part what they want- so for you, going to eat with the person means that they want to talk about something important. For me, that just means they want to go get something to eat (because earth signs are concrete). Also, maybe you know that person well enough to read into that kind of statement whereas I wouldn't.

Does that make sense? I think it would be a lovely stroke to my ego to say that he was SOOOO emotional about what was going on that he pulled away because he couldn't handle it (because then the problem is ALL on him). I think it is more accurate to say that there is something that he truly doesn't like about me/my approach to him that he is avoiding talking about (for God knows what reason).

Aquas seem to have this strange aversion thing going on, that a lot of the air signs have actually, but whereas the other air signs simply seem to be polite about it or brush it off, it seems like Aquas become hostile (in subtle ways) about it, but still refuse to acknowledge the elephant in the room. It drives me bonkers, and ultimately, because they simply don't even acknowledge there's a problem (despite my attempts to do so) I end up moving away from them because their actions are simply toxic to me.

posted November 10, 2013 01:11 PM            

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Originally posted by enchantress299:

So the irony is, I'm generally trying to figure out from THEM what they want/need from me emotionally, but they seem to interpret this as my somehow trying to take away their freedom or telling them to be a different way than who they actually are. I'M NOT! It is utterly flabbergasting.

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It's because we don't know what we want from people emotionally, we just want you to be yourself and have your own life too. Dumping all your emotional baggage onto us, we are just going to think your manipulating us, even if that is not the case. We don't like to get involved with pettiness and dramas, so when something indicates this we shut down, get confused and become indifferent. We want a soulmate who completely understands how our mind works, to go with the flow and not be manipulated.

posted November 10, 2013 01:23 PM            

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Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
It's interesting reading your description of Venus in Aqua because I have it in Leo and I wonder how this relates to having it in the opposite sign. I don't feel as if my Venus is particularly great, either, not like a Libra Venus.

It's a blah Venus imo.

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posted November 10, 2013 01:28 PM            

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Originally posted by NeptunianSag:
It's because we don't know what we want from people emotionally, we just want you to be yourself and have your own life too. Dumping all your emotional baggage onto us, we are just going to think your manipulating us, even if that is not the case. We don't like to get involved with pettiness and dramas, so when something indicates this we shut down, get confused and become indifferent. We want a soulmate who completely understands how our mind works, to go with the flow and not be manipulated.

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posted November 10, 2013 11:35 PM            

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Originally posted by birdsong:
A Venus in Aquarius changed my life. that's all I can say

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I can say the same

posted November 11, 2013 12:20 AM            

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Originally posted by enchantress299:
Yes, but that is assuming that the Aqua even wants to talk about what is going on. It has been my experience that they avoid important conversations, and won't initiate when they have a problem (so I have to read into their actions and do it myself- ESPECIALLY if it is becoming a problem for me). And also, you have to assume (or 'read their mind') on your part what they want- so for you, going to eat with the person means that they want to talk about something important. For me, that just means they want to go get something to eat (because earth signs are concrete). Also, maybe you know that person well enough to read into that kind of statement whereas I wouldn't.

Does that make sense? I think it would be a lovely stroke to my ego to say that he was SOOOO emotional about what was going on that he pulled away because he couldn't handle it (because then the problem is ALL on him). I think it is more accurate to say that there is something that he truly doesn't like about me/my approach to him that he is avoiding talking about (for God knows what reason).

Aquas seem to have this strange aversion thing going on, that a lot of the air signs have actually, but whereas the other air signs simply seem to be polite about it or brush it off, it seems like Aquas become hostile (in subtle ways) about it, but still refuse to acknowledge the elephant in the room. It drives me bonkers, and ultimately, because they simply don't even acknowledge there's a problem (despite my attempts to do so) I end up moving away from them because their actions are simply toxic to me.

Does that make more sense? The only reason I bring it up is because I've seen Aqua Suns, Moons, and Venuses all engage in variations of this type of behavior, and it utterly baffles me.

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posted November 11, 2013 09:56 PM            

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It's because we don't know what we want from people emotionally, we just want you to be yourself and have your own life too. Dumping all your emotional baggage onto us, we are just going to think your manipulating us, even if that is not the case. We don't like to get involved with pettiness and dramas, so when something indicates this we shut down, get confused and become indifferent. We want a soulmate who completely understands how our mind works, to go with the flow and not be manipulated.

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But that's NOT what I was doing. I wasn't dumping emotional baggage on the guy. I was asking him what HE wanted. Asking is not a form of manipulation. It's finding out more about the other person and getting to know them so that you can better understand each other and better enjoy each others company. You can't share something meaningful if you can't share.

It's a lovely fairy tale to think that anyone understands you heart and soul without some form of communication between the two of you. No one is of the exact same mind as anyone else, no matter how much you want to be. Everyone comes from a different place than everyone else (background, viewpoints, education, etc). I would think that Aqua influenced people would understand that better than anyone else because they are so caught up on uniqueness.

Now, I CAN understand wanting people to leave you alone if you interpret asking questions as intrusiveness. But with someone you presumably enjoy spending time with, it doesn't seem like it would be a concern.

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this makes complete sense to me. I was with a sun/venus/mercury aqua man for many years and saw this behavior time and time again. it is baffling. regardless of how simple the question was, if he 'felt' it was emotional in any way he would lash out as though he was being attacked. like being cornered just for a simple question, and I just don't get it either.

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posted November 11, 2013 10:55 PM            

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Originally posted by enchantress299:
Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one who has seen this type of trend with the Aqua types. It truly is baffling to me. Starmoon- What are the elemental influences in your chart?

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