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Author
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Topic: Letting go, forgiving, moving on
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hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6465
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 31, 2013 12:40 AM
  
How do you let go of someone who doesn't want you, and the bitterness you feel? I have a Taurus moon trine Saturn and opp. Pluto. I hold onto it for so long and it eats away at me, and isn't healthy. I've written letters I won't send, throw myself into work, try to keep busy, friends, etc. but that energy is still "on" me per se. I'm stuck.
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Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 6543
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted December 31, 2013 01:01 AM
I'm in the same boat, I don't really have an answer for you, just letting you know your not alone...
I guess it's one of this time heals all wounds. I did speak to the guy.... Even though I'm no longer speaking to him.... He did confronted me... I asked him, doesn't this bother you??? Doesn't this make you feel bad..
( me feeling that I'm the only one hurting" His response was, well upsetting at first, but the more I thought about it, the more it makes sense...
So I will share his exact words with you...
Think about.... What it really means.... " I think of it, but then suck it up, cuz at the end what good will it do me,to allow it to consume me" When I think about it, it just makes sense... IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6465
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 31, 2013 01:12 AM
 Thanks Lioness!I agree about sucking it up, some days are better than others… IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 6543
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted December 31, 2013 01:42 AM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Thanks Lioness!I agree about sucking it up, some days are better than others…
I know....  .
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happyaskings
Knowflake Posts: 657
From:
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted December 31, 2013 01:47 AM
Trying to get through this myself right now. I don't think there's a real way I think it's mostly just time and meeting new people until you eventually just...forget You're not alone. Wish it could be easier for all of us. Sending love to all of you going through this right now. IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 669
From: Pluto
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted December 31, 2013 01:48 AM
The way it works for me. It's rough and I'm sure sometimes just impossible. I eliminate them from my life as much as I possibly can. I even distance myself, if not eliminate, mutual friends. That may not always be feasible but I go to extremes to just make them "not exist" as much as I can. ANYTHING, that reminds me of them.
Then just stick to it like it's law. Eventually... I'm over it. Maybe extreme but I'm sometimes an extreme kinda guy. IP: Logged |
Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 267
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted December 31, 2013 02:07 AM
I have a stellium in Scorpio and a Taurus Ascendant so I feel your pain. I'm going through this exact situation myself and it's not comfortable at all. I miss him so much, but if he doesn't want me, what's the point in trying? Sometimes you just have to accept things as they are because the situation is out of your control. I can't make him want me or see how great of a person I am and honestly, I think he knows all of this but just doesn't want me still. All I can tell you is, him not wanting you had absolutely nothing to do with you and your worth. You just aren't right for him. You will definitely be right for someone else. Do not let him make you bitter. I know it's hard, but you deserve to be happy. Any time I find myself hating him or thinking negative thoughts, I remind myself that those thoughts aren't cobtributing to my self love. My lu have truly and deeply love yourself and know that as long as you have YOU.. your own thoughts, emotions, conscience, etc that's all you really need. Cry, scream, etc.. but then pick yourself and smile. Emotions and heartache is apart of life and one day you will be able to breathe easy and take your heart off life support, but until then, smile and be happy with that pain because that pain is teaching you something about yourself and life in general. Embrace that pain and turn it into wisdom. You are going to be just fine and this goes for all of us. We are going to be just fine... self love is the key. IP: Logged |
12muddy
Knowflake Posts: 1276
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted December 31, 2013 02:10 AM
Idk... I often think "well you win some you lose some". Moving on is like, being kind to myself. The more I brood n think, the deeper I'd sink.I had a hard time letting go of things I "thought" were rightfully mine. Until I realized that very, very few things were. IP: Logged |
Chiemi
Moderator Posts: 1082
From: Michigan
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted December 31, 2013 02:12 AM
quote:
Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
I eliminate them from my life as much as I possibly can. I even distance myself, if not eliminate, mutual friends. That may not always be feasible but I go to extremes to just make them "not exist" as much as I can. ANYTHING, that reminds me of them.
Then just stick to it like it's law. Eventually... I'm over it.
This.
And I also try not to waste anytime deleting them either, the quicker the better. Even though it really hurts the faster you take care of the wound, the quicker it has time to heal. I hope I'm making sense (can't even sleep tonight). You're definitely not alone
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Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 267
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted December 31, 2013 02:21 AM
I really needed to see this post and I'm guessing these emotions have to do with the full moon occuring on the 1st. Anyway, I hope you guys heal and find true love. I just deleted a million contacts out of my phone.. it was definitely time and I am ready. I hope you guys are ready to let go too irregardless of the pain.IP: Logged |
AriesLilith
Knowflake Posts: 320
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted December 31, 2013 06:39 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Yanmorg:
I have a stellium in Scorpio and a Taurus Ascendant so I feel your pain. I'm going through this exact situation myself and it's not comfortable at all. I miss him so much, but if he doesn't want me, what's the point in trying? Sometimes you just have to accept things as they are because the situation is out of your control. I can't make him want me or see how great of a person I am and honestly, I think he knows all of this but just doesn't want me still. All I can tell you is, him not wanting you had absolutely nothing to do with you and your worth. You just aren't right for him. You will definitely be right for someone else. Do not let him make you bitter. I know it's hard, but you deserve to be happy. Any time I find myself hating him or thinking negative thoughts, I remind myself that those thoughts aren't cobtributing to my self love. My lu have truly and deeply love yourself and know that as long as you have YOU.. your own thoughts, emotions, conscience, etc that's all you really need. Cry, scream, etc.. but then pick yourself and smile. Emotions and heartache is apart of life and one day you will be able to breathe easy and take your heart off life support, but until then, smile and be happy with that pain because that pain is teaching you something about yourself and life in general. Embrace that pain and turn it into wisdom. You are going to be just fine and this goes for all of us. We are going to be just fine... self love is the key.
This is a very positive way of learning how to let go.  I have never experienced this as strong as you guys, when I was a teenager there was a time I was very obsessed with someone and couldn't stop obsessing, but I'm glad that I didn't have anything with him as he was not healthy for me probably. It must be hard to feel such in a stronger way, it really takes much strength to rise one's self from this. I don't know what to say to help, but it's important that we treasure and love ourselves, and that not being able to have a relationship with each other just means that we are not compatible nor meant to each other, and have our own separated paths. We are all souls in our own journeys. Then we might not be with someone we currently feel strongly for, but maybe we meet someone else later with whom we can also share a strong connection, maybe this time the other person also feels the same. IP: Logged |
PlutoSurvivor
Knowflake Posts: 133
From: USA
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted December 31, 2013 09:11 AM
Very supportive comments! Nice to see this.
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hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6465
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 31, 2013 10:03 AM
I agree! I want to respond individually but am at work on my phone. I do wonder how Venus retro plays into this though. Am very grateful for everyone who's contributed to this, thank you.
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Jessica2407
Moderator Posts: 4519
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted December 31, 2013 10:19 AM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
How do you let go of someone who doesn't want you, and the bitterness you feel? I have a Taurus moon trine Saturn and opp. Pluto. I hold onto it for so long and it eats away at me, and isn't healthy. I've written letters I won't send, throw myself into work, try to keep busy, friends, etc. but that energy is still "on" me per se. I'm stuck.
I'm very sorry to hear you are having such a hard time Hanna. are you having trouble forgiving the person? because you think they did you wrong? or is it because you think they don't want you?
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Astra
Knowflake Posts: 544
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 31, 2013 11:52 AM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
How do you let go of someone who doesn't want you, and the bitterness you feel? I have a Taurus moon trine Saturn and opp. Pluto. I hold onto it for so long and it eats away at me, and isn't healthy. I've written letters I won't send, throw myself into work, try to keep busy, friends, etc. but that energy is still "on" me per se. I'm stuck.
::sigh:: having a Taurus moon is brutal when it comes to breakups. My ex had this placement and continued to pursue me for years after I broke up with him. This is the best advice I can give you: don't waste your tears and time on someone who doesn't love you. They are not worth it. Do not contact them at all for any reason. Please don't make the same mistake my ex did and pursue this person for years no matter how many times they tell you to back off. This will make them hate you. Keep a journal. Write down all of your feelings: good, bad and anything in between. Spend time with your friends. Find a new hobby. Learn something new. If you get so bogged down in the past, you won't have time to enjoy the present and plan for the future. Don't let this person hold your life hostage. Take control and live your life. Accept that this person is not right for you. IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming
Moderator Posts: 7626
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted December 31, 2013 05:29 PM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
How do you let go of someone who doesn't want you, and the bitterness you feel? I have a Taurus moon trine Saturn and opp. Pluto. I hold onto it for so long and it eats away at me, and isn't healthy. I've written letters I won't send, throw myself into work, try to keep busy, friends, etc. but that energy is still "on" me per se. I'm stuck.
I dont think it's because you're a taurus moon. My close friend is a taurus moon and isnt like that.
I think it's because you're a snake. Every snake I know is like that and hates rejection. We snakes are possessive, we coil around people and cant let go, and our number one need in life is to feel loved. Number ONE need. So yeah u will not ever want to let go of anyone. All uour past exes will be ppl who had a deep impact on you, ALL of them. You will not want to let go of ex-friends either. I have an ex who i loved and he did me wrong. I am guessing that i wont ever be able to get over it. I have even been debating whether i should be friends with him as soon as i get a new boyfriend so that our friendship could heal me from the past. Bc it's affecting me so much right now. I would need to be dating someone though because i'd need someone to strongly hold my hand and be there for me every second that i have to see him or hang out with him. I wouldnt be able to do it alone. But then i think that it is so selfish and that my boyfriend would probably not understand. Maybe f they loved me enough they would go through with it so that my heart will heal. Anyway, we will see. But yeah we snakes are very intense. Our quote is "I feel"
We make people we love the center of our world since being loved is so important for out well-being. And if you date us or are our best friend you can bet we will be super dedicated to the relationship.
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IMoppedtheFloor
Knowflake Posts: 233
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted December 31, 2013 05:32 PM
You'll get over him the second you pass a new guy you think is hot. I think it works that way for alot of people. When the next guy comes along suddenly the other one doesn't exist to you anymore.IP: Logged |
AscTaurus
Knowflake Posts: 801
From: Pretoria, Gauteng,South Africa
Registered: May 2009
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posted December 31, 2013 05:57 PM
Pluto opposition moon in fixed Taurus? Yikes! This energy just lingers on, don't it?Well, I have Saturn in Scorpio opposing the Asc and this energy, though not expressive, can simmer. My advice is, just let it flow. When you are in the mix of it, let it flow. When you are unable to let go of stuff and "move on",let it flow. But whilst in the mix of it, take note of how you feel and project your thoughts to the future i.e if you are having a really difficult relationship with someone and can't seem to detach, let it flow. But, for the future, focus on those things that make you happy i.e those that get you to the happy place. This won't happen overnight ofcourse, but in time, you'll learn to detach from these intense feelings and distance yourself from that "place". It takes practice and you won't always get it right. But it is worth the effort. You can also try to meditate. This helps a lot too.
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caramel
Newflake Posts: 5
From:
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted December 31, 2013 06:01 PM
I'm a snake too but i think its fairly easy for me to forgive.. but forgetting is a whole different dilemma.
Btw we have similar birth charts (if not identical)!!IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6465
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted January 01, 2014 08:04 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Jessica2407:
I'm very sorry to hear you are having such a hard time Hanna.are you having trouble forgiving the person? because you think they did you wrong? or is it because you think they don't want you?
Yes, and it's not necessarily that they did me wrong which bugs me (at least not as much) but that they think I did THEM wrong. And they won't talk about it or acknowledge anything. They would rather ignore it. So I get it. I get that they are "not the person for me," etc. But it still sucks. And we have lots of Pluto in our Synastry and Composite which isn't helping.
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hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6465
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted January 01, 2014 08:07 AM
quote:
Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
I dont think it's because you're a taurus moon. My close friend is a taurus moon and isnt like that.
I think it's because you're a snake. Every snake I know is like that and hates rejection. We snakes are possessive, we coil around people and cant let go, and our number one need in life is to feel loved. Number ONE need.So yeah u will not ever want to let go of anyone. All uour past exes will be ppl who had a deep impact on you, ALL of them. You will not want to let go of ex-friends either. I have an ex who i loved and he did me wrong. I am guessing that i wont ever be able to get over it. I have even been debating whether i should be friends with him as soon as i get a new boyfriend so that our friendship could heal me from the past. Bc it's affecting me so much right now. I would need to be dating someone though because i'd need someone to strongly hold my hand and be there for me every second that i have to see him or hang out with him. I wouldnt be able to do it alone. But then i think that it is so selfish and that my boyfriend would probably not understand. Maybe f they loved me enough they would go through with it so that my heart will heal. Anyway, we will see. But yeah we snakes are very intense. Our quote is "I feel"
We make people we love the center of our world since being loved is so important for out well-being. And if you date us or are our best friend you can bet we will be super dedicated to the relationship.
That's true, all of my guys have impacted me profoundly and they have no idea! Some for better, some for worse but it's always really intense. I bet you and your ex had some major karmic aspects in your chart, no? Sorry you're (and all the other responders) are going through the same thing. It sucks when the break up or whathaveyou isn't amicable or gives any closure. I still think it's because of how my Moon is aspected, but also being a snake. Being a snake is like being a Scorpio, but I think the energy is stronger in Chinese astrology.
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hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6465
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted January 01, 2014 08:08 AM
quote:
Originally posted by 12muddy:
Moving on is like, being kind to myself.
Whoa. Mind…blown. Something about the simplicity of that statement "clicks". Thank you. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6465
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted January 01, 2014 08:09 AM
quote:
Originally posted by caramel:
I'm a snake too but i think its fairly easy for me to forgive.. but forgetting is a whole different dilemma.
Btw we have similar birth charts (if not identical)!!
Yeah I read your other reply! You should start another thread and post your chart so I can look at it IP: Logged |
beckylee
Knowflake Posts: 207
From: japan
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted January 01, 2014 08:39 AM
Some philosopher said that you can only love someone that can hurt you. The hurting is a part of it really. Most of the time love hurts. But I think we even enjoy it in a mazochistic way. We must be, so many couples break up for no reason just to go through the craziness and the unpredictability all over again. Think about it, a life that is too predictable would drive you insane ! If everyone we fall in love with were to love us back..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZ9my4AZ2C4 IP: Logged |
Jessica2407
Moderator Posts: 4519
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted January 01, 2014 10:25 AM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Yes, and it's not necessarily that they did me wrong which bugs me (at least not as much) but that they think I did THEM wrong. And they won't talk about it or acknowledge anything. They would rather ignore it. So I get it. I get that they are "not the person for me," etc. But it still sucks. And we have lots of Pluto in our Synastry and Composite which isn't helping.
I am a little bit confused. They think YOU did THEM wrong? So may be they think YOU don't want THEM? Have you made it clear to them that you do want them? I think (may be am wrong, if I am please correct me) you self sabotage a 'relationship' when it becomes too serious. It can be an unconscious thing. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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