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Author
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Topic: Insecure vs Confident Men in Love
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Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 3074
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 05:57 PM
  
quote:
Originally posted by florence:
aries are the most confident i've encountered & they want to 'win'. as someone insecure, on my way to the psychologists couch, i cant relinquish the desire to win in circumstances where i think there is an injustice or hypocrisy. sag moon. i don't apologise for that
and i don't even mind if it means i am weak for it.
And that is the difference b/t confident and insecure. The insecure HAVE to win, they just do, everything from pickles v tomatoes on hamburgers to the need to buy things to impress people whom they don't like b/c " I don't want them to have an advantage on me/us" A conversation b/t secure/insecure: Lets go to that dive restaurant b/c the food is cheap and good No, Let's go to this expensive place Why? B/c I want people to SEE me out w/you That is crazy That is what I want To draw an analogy from Mad magazine of all places: "What will the neighbors think?!?" "If they were smart, they would not be our neighbors" IE how about screw what other people think Very Saggie/Scorpio/Aries IP: Logged |
Faith
Moderator Posts: 6471
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted January 07, 2014 06:04 PM
I think everyone has confidence and insecurities, it's just a matter of how much they're revealing, or what posture they're taking, at any given time. What has mattered to me is how confident they were about their interest in being with me romantically. Which is how I ended up with one Leo after another. So, pattern in my life: Leo sun = confident (where I want confidence) Also the Pisces sun men I know are all very confident-seeming, but I was never in a relationship with one, so I can't comment on how they are in love.  IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3293
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 06:24 PM
Everyone has insecurities.It's not what I'm referring to. I mean the overall vibe. Nelson Mandela had a strong vibe.
Bam Margera has a weak vibe. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3293
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 06:26 PM
It is there in a person's individual aura - but obviously it comes across in their interaction with other people and in their romantic life.I think it's easier to suss out strength or weakness when you are very close.. so that's why I asking about men you were romantically involved with. Padre - Do you date men? And why are we suddenly talking about winning/losing and dining out?
o_O IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3293
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 06:35 PM
Actually maybe we should leave this thread.It seems we are all aware that we all have strengths and insecurities - which is good to know  I'm not sure we're on the same page re: the thread topic.. and my Pisces Merc isn't doing a great job trying to explain it lol IP: Logged |
Faith
Moderator Posts: 6471
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted January 07, 2014 06:46 PM
^ K, but it just occurred to me that the Cap sun I dated had both a confident public persona/vibe...and retained his confidence/strength in love. Probably the least insecure guy I ever dated. +1 for Capricorn No I'm not biased...  IP: Logged |
florence
Knowflake Posts: 156
From:
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 06:57 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
Florence - Out of the men you've dated and been with romantically - who did you feel was more confident (a strong person) and who was more insecure, childish, playing games, all that jazz... ?That was my only question
ok more confident aries and leo initially. i was i suppose thinking of it less in terms of initial dating. pisces and aquarius over time. still can't answer the insecure so much as i view it from interaction IP: Logged |
florence
Knowflake Posts: 156
From:
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 07:06 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:
And that is the difference b/t confident and insecure.The insecure HAVE to win, they just do, everything from pickles v tomatoes on hamburgers to the need to buy things to impress people whom they don't like b/c " I don't want them to have an advantage on me/us" A conversation b/t secure/insecure: Lets go to that dive restaurant b/c the food is cheap and good No, Let's go to this expensive place Why? B/c I want people to SEE me out w/you That is crazy That is what I want To draw an analogy from Mad magazine of all places: "What will the neighbors think?!?" "If they were smart, they would not be our neighbors" IE how about screw what other people think Very Saggie/Scorpio/Aries
i care what people think but dont make decisions based on what people think. i also dont need to win over every little thing. maybe im not insecure after all.
IP: Logged |
Faith
Moderator Posts: 6471
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted January 07, 2014 07:21 PM
quote:
Originally posted by florence:
still can't answer the insecure so much as i view it from interaction
Yeah, sometimes insecurity, or showing your vulnerability, is the best part of love (if you're accepted in spite of it, or even loved for it) and sometimes it's the worst (if rejected over it)...there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to that, it just boils down to preferences, I think.
IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 3074
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 07:30 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
It is there in a person's individual aura - but obviously it comes across in their interaction with other people and in their romantic life.I think it's easier to suss out strength or weakness when you are very close.. so that's why I asking about men you were romantically involved with. Padre - Do you date men? And why are we suddenly talking about winning/losing and dining out?
o_O
Oddly enough, I've been hit on by gay men, very perceptive of you Odette. I do think secure v insecure, in the charts is a funny thing. Suspect the water/air people sort of have to screw up their courage to be secure...but only for a moment The Fire/Earth chart dominates are more self assured, each either knows what they want or are fine w/being single causing people to come to them..then in general we do not know what to do...  IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 3074
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 07:33 PM
quote:
Originally posted by florence:
i care what people think but dont make decisions based on what people think. i also dont need to win over every little thing. maybe im not insecure after all.
Pardon me, that was not an accusation of insecurity and was not meant to be one Mea Culpa if I offered an offense IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8253
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 08:07 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
Everyone has insecurities.It's not what I'm referring to. I mean the overall vibe. Nelson Mandela had a strong vibe.
Bam Margera has a weak vibe.
Bam seems pretty confident to me.
IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3293
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 08:51 PM
^^ O_O
Oh Boy.IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3293
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 08:51 PM
I feel an LL break coming up for me. IP: Logged |
florence
Knowflake Posts: 156
From:
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 10:40 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:
Pardon me, that was not an accusation of insecurity and was not meant to be oneMea Culpa if I offered an offense
it's because i declare myself insecure i thought you were referring to me so my mistake, np IP: Logged |
Jessica2407
Moderator Posts: 4549
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 11:51 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
I feel an LL break coming up for me.
Nah You have a cap mars, if I'm not mistaken. Cap mars are FEARLESS girl! On a different note, I know what you meant. Some guys are wired to handle tough work situations,or other hard life experiences but do not have a clue how to handle their personal relationships. Actually come to think of it, many guys no matter how old they are, feel out of depth solving their relationship problems with either their wives and/or children. There is however, a pattern I've noticed with Cap mars guys who are very slow,gauche,evasive and manipulative emotionally. I wonder if it's because Mars in a feminine sign. IP: Logged |
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