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Author
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Topic: Insecure vs Confident Men in Love
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Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3293
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 06, 2014 08:06 PM
  
Think of the most insecure guy who you have ever had the pleasure of meeting or dating.
Insecurity can be on display in different ways.. Sometimes the person can be obviously shy, withdrawn, fidgety.. Others can be evasive, aggressive, frantic in their behaviour (e.g. Bullies are insecure but also aggressive)
I'm basically referring to guys who simply didn't seem happy and confident - and were a bit 'all over the place'. Please post his (or their) chart and also their age.
I'm curious to see if there are any patterns, eg something like an afflicted Mars - or particular signs that pop up more frequently in insecure men. I also wanted to contrast this with the charts of men who were confident in their approach and in their relationship with you. So now.. think of the most confident, well-adjusted, inwardly happy man you know or have dated .. and also post his chart.
By 'confident' I definitely don't mean co*cky, since co*cky/arrogant men are generally insecure.
I mean someone who is/was genuinely confident and a strong person. Someone you just look at and you can feel their inner strength and inner balance.. and you know nothing could 'shake them up'. IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 8138
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted January 06, 2014 08:30 PM
.IP: Logged |
IMoppedtheFloor
Knowflake Posts: 265
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted January 06, 2014 08:50 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
Think of the most insecure guy who you have ever had the pleasure of meeting or dating.
Insecurity can be on display in different ways.. Sometimes the person can be obviously shy, withdrawn, fidgety.. Others can be evasive, aggressive, frantic in their behaviour (e.g. Bullies are insecure but also aggressive)
I'm basically referring to guys who simply didn't seem happy and confident - and were a bit 'all over the place'. Please post his (or their) chart and also their age.
I'm curious to see if there are any patterns, eg something like an afflicted Mars - or particular signs that pop up more frequently in insecure men. I also wanted to contrast this with the charts of men who were confident in their approach and in their relationship with you. So now.. think of the most confident, well-adjusted, inwardly happy man you know or have dated .. and also post his chart.
By 'confident' I definitely don't mean co*cky, since co*cky/arrogant men are generally insecure.
I mean someone who is/was genuinely confident and a strong person. Someone you just look at and you can feel their inner strength and inner balance.. and you know nothing could 'shake them up'.
Can't help you, because the most secure guy has a chart riddled with squares that would blow a hole in your theory that the secure ones wouldn't have an afflicted Mars.
Also, believe it or not not all c o cky people are insecure. Some are genuinely just arrogant because they just have REALLY REALLY healthy self-esteem. You can't always go off of broad sweeping generalizations. I'm gonna be honest - I feel like this is less about trying to really research it in a general sense and more about you trying to get everybody to support some theory you already have your mind made up about. Like "I want to slam people with an afflicted Mars so I'm going to put out a fishing expedition to get folks to agree with me that this guy sucks because I'm not on the same wavelength with him." IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3293
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 06, 2014 09:06 PM
I mentioned the afflicted Mars thing in passing.
I don't have a theory on people with an afflicted Mars. Arrogant people lack inner peace from my pov.
Bullies are insecure.. but as you said, not all arrogant people are insecure.
However they still lack the kind of inner strength I have in mind here... which would come from a sense of inner peace, balance and good energy.
I was just trying to emphasise the 'type' of strength I'm referring to. Thank you Kero! xx IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3293
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 06, 2014 09:09 PM
Please post his chart IMopped.
I have no men issues ATM There is no guy in my life I have any problems with. It's not personal.
I'm curious if there are any patterns that's all.IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8253
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 06, 2014 09:16 PM
Well how would you decide who is confident vs who is insecure? Just wondering because everyone can be confident or insecure depending on the day. IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Knowflake Posts: 7271
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted January 07, 2014 04:45 AM
I have a few charts of men I think are quite insecure - in the sense that they can't approach - or are not straightforward with - women they're interested in, and/or are very jealous/possessive.[please don't quote, will edit them out later] 
So far:
Mars in aspect to Saturn or in Capricorn
Saturn in hard aspect to a personal planet
8H / Pluto / Scorpio stuff
IP: Logged |
bumblebee
Knowflake Posts: 182
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted January 07, 2014 05:05 AM
I can confirm on mars in hard aspect to saturn, something in capricorn and pluto/8th house stuff.He was the most shy, insecure and not comfortable about love guy I have ever met. although mars in scorpio, it is square saturn, venus in capricorn, unaspected and virgo moon for shyness. IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Knowflake Posts: 7271
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted January 07, 2014 05:09 AM
If I were a guy, my chart would be up there with the others, LOL.IP: Logged |
florence
Knowflake Posts: 156
From:
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 05:53 AM
don't think i've met any men or any people who i don't think are insecure. hmmm, there are some who put themselves out there with more confidence but i still perceive insecurity, maybe am picking up on my own.i thought i perceived that in you too Odette from the logical way you write, it seems like a wall of protection as much as assertion. something else i read via myself because i'm protective in a not too dissimilar way. then when you were talking about your moon i figured it is your moon. so maybe it's people with resilience in the chart & inner/outer matching. thinking on i'd imagine most people can be insecure in different circumstances. think of some personality who seems so confident, a tv persona ... and then transplant them onto the streets and they'd probably crumble. IP: Logged |
Jessica2407
Moderator Posts: 4549
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 06:25 AM
I think almost everyone can be insecure and lose confidence,it is just that some are less obvious or less vocal about it. leo males are good at hiding their mama issues behind their phony smiles.I've noticed people who are loud about not liking insecurity in others are themselves very insecure.It's a part of them they do not like. IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Knowflake Posts: 7271
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted January 07, 2014 06:44 AM
Well, there's insecurity and insecurity.
I agree that most people are insecure to some degree, but in some people the level of insecurity is really high, to the point of interfering with normal/healthy interactions.
The charts I posted reflect that kind of "over the top" insecurity.IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 5911
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 07, 2014 12:44 PM
I have a chart for someone like that. I can't remember the birth time for another one, or the date, but it seems like that's mostly the type that I attract - and I don't like it. Two were Taurus, and both contributed hugely to my losing any peace of mind that I had. One still is, but not directly.  This one was bitter as hell, it turned out... and he didn't leave me alone until I was sounding and feeling as bitter as he was. I haven't looked at his chart for several years now, because knowing him was such a mistake. IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 5911
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 07, 2014 12:50 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
If I were a guy, my chart would be up there with the others, LOL.
LOL! I was socially insecure thanks to bullying - and then the man whose chart I posted above - but I was happy and confident in other ways. I'm afraid I got to know the man above, because I could empathize with him, and I thought he was healthier, initially, than he really was. There are varying ranges when it comes to this, and I would think that you are at the positive/healthier end of it all.  IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3293
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 03:52 PM
English isn't my first language so that's probably why I overcompensate 
This was about insecurities romantically, not in other areas!
But it's always nice when the newbies take such an interest in you and start analysing your writing lmaoI'm not sure why certain posters seemingly have a little bit of an 'issue' with this thread *shrug*
If you don't want to add any charts here, it's ok to ignore it! Thank you Doux and Teasel!
The Saturn factor is interesting. Kero's initial charts had an Aries Mars, but I didn't get a chance to save them so I can't remember if they had a Mars/Saturn aspect.
I'll be back and post my own. I thought this would be an easy question for most women. Sorry if this is a strange topic. It seemed easy to answer in my mind.. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3293
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 04:35 PM
Some people have a positive aura that feels strong as well as calm. It puts others at ease around them.
Other people have a restless, unsettled aura and their behaviour leaves much to be desired.
That's how it feels from my perspective. I'm not sure what else I could say to further explain the difference between a man who is confident and has inner peace and one who is frantic and has no inner peace. If you don't feel these vibes with people, then just ignore the thread - as I was saying IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 8138
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 04:43 PM
LOL wow people are taking it literally.
I don't think she means.
OH HEY I LOOK REALLY GOOD TODAY
vs
PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY PICTURE..There are plenty of people who are just unhappy with themselves for whatever reason..
This is something they really need to work on because others can feel misery.
There are some who just don't trust themselves or just unsure of who they are and what they need to become.
Or they are dependent on others to take care of them.
IP: Logged |
florence
Knowflake Posts: 156
From:
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 04:49 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
Some people have a positive aura that feels strong as well as calm. It puts others at ease around them.
Other people have a restless, unsettled aura and their behaviour leaves much to be desired.
That's how it feels from my perspective. I'm not sure what else I could say to further explain the difference between a man who is confident and has inner peace and one who is frantic and has no inner peace. If you don't feel these vibes with people, then just ignore the thread - as I was saying
ill respond to whatever thread i want to. im not a newbie, have been here since one month after you. ok .. actually the people who seemed not that confident on the surface seemed to have more inner peace and the opposite inner struggle. so i guess i am not warranted to reply on this thread after all lol IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3293
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 05:06 PM
Oh boy  IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3293
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 05:08 PM
And the psychologist's couch is... thata way ------------>IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 3074
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 05:13 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
Some people have a positive aura that feels strong as well as calm. It puts others at ease around them.
Other people have a restless, unsettled aura and their behaviour leaves much to be desired.
That's how it feels from my perspective. I'm not sure what else I could say to further explain the difference between a man who is confident and has inner peace and one who is frantic and has no inner peace. If you don't feel these vibes with people, then just ignore the thread - as I was saying
Exactly, the "test" is if there is a disagreement, how is it resolved? A sort of frantic "must win this!!!" v A sort of "here is what it is the way I see it, what's your pov?" Insecure people HAVE to win, Secure people don't HAVE to win, b/c they are not that deeply invested in "winning". I've found Libra's are more the latter, the more airy signs are more the former. Virgos ime tend to HAVE to win b/c of emotional investment, a Scorp will speak from Authority and it's hard to argue with it b/c they are so secure, even if they are dead wrong. A saggie will just go in over the most ridiculous stuff IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 8138
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 05:22 PM
Odette.
It's probably because we are heavily aries influenced.I have mars in aries and a first house stellium.
I can smell weakness from people... When my partner starts to doubt themselves so do I.
I can't deal with someone that will just fall apart cause life is too difficult.
I need someone who is strong and has their emotional **** together.. IP: Logged |
florence
Knowflake Posts: 156
From:
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 05:42 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:
Exactly, the "test" is if there is a disagreement, how is it resolved?A sort of frantic "must win this!!!" v A sort of "here is what it is the way I see it, what's your pov?" Insecure people HAVE to win, Secure people don't HAVE to win, b/c they are not that deeply invested in "winning". I've found Libra's are more the latter, the more airy signs are more the former. Virgos ime tend to HAVE to win b/c of emotional investment, a Scorp will speak from Authority and it's hard to argue with it b/c they are so secure, even if they are dead wrong. A saggie will just go in over the most ridiculous stuff
aries are the most confident i've encountered & they want to 'win'. as someone insecure, on my way to the psychologists couch, i cant relinquish the desire to win in circumstances where i think there is an injustice or hypocrisy. sag moon. i don't apologise for that
and i don't even mind if it means i am weak for it. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3293
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 05:53 PM
^^ You're funny. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3293
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 07, 2014 05:56 PM
Florence - Out of the men you've dated and been with romantically - who did you feel was more confident (a strong person) and who was more insecure, childish, playing games, all that jazz... ?That was my only question IP: Logged |
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