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Author
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Topic: How do you get past Saturn's wall?
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Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 428
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted May 26, 2014 12:39 PM
  
I've been observing and doing research on saturn aspects to personal planets and its affect on a relationship as well as an individual. The most important thing I've noticed by dealing with someone who has Venus trine Saturn natally as well as Venus trine Saturn in synastry AND composite with this person is that the affection comes slowly. Our relationship is growing everyday, but I'm not used to the absence of continuous affection. It's almost as if this guy shows he cares in tangible ways or just by saying certain things. We only show affection when we're alone or we're both in an intimate setting. Is this common with such a strong Saturn influence? How can I break past the blockage and just shower him with affection? It's almost as if something is blocking me from just hugging or kissimg him. I always second guess myself and end up just sitting there wishing we were hugging or cuddling. How do you get past saturn's wall? We also have moon conjunct moon in synastry as well as a packed 7th house in composite a long with many other loving aspects but I feel Saturn is to blame for us not showing as much affection as we should be showing each other based on our relationship as a whole.IP: Logged |
LeeLoo2014
Moderator Posts: 2635
From:
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted May 26, 2014 12:53 PM
Now that you know about it, why don't you just do it?  IP: Logged |
starmoon
Knowflake Posts: 1221
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted May 26, 2014 01:11 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Yanmorg:
I've been observing and doing research on saturn aspects to personal planets and its affect on a relationship as well as an individual. The most important thing I've noticed by dealing with someone who has Venus trine Saturn natally as well as Venus trine Saturn in synastry AND composite with this person is that the affection comes slowly. Our relationship is growing everyday, but I'm not used to the absence of continuous affection. It's almost as if this guy shows he cares in tangible ways or just by saying certain things. We only show affection when we're alone or we're both in an intimate setting. Is this common with such a strong Saturn influence? How can I break past the blockage and just shower him with affection? It's almost as if something is blocking me from just hugging or kissimg him. I always second guess myself and end up just sitting there wishing we were hugging or cuddling. How do you get past saturn's wall? We also have moon conjunct moon in synastry as well as a packed 7th house in composite a long with many other loving aspects but I feel Saturn is to blame for us not showing as much affection as we should be showing each other based on our relationship as a whole.
you don't. period. this is akin to a woman "wanting to change a man," and it doesn't happen, and cannot happen - at least not forever. someone might make little changes here and there, but holding back affection - or showing it in a way significantly different than what you want - is how some people relate and you either have to deal or let it alone. this isn't even astrology, but just basic human personality. you cannot "make" someone more affectionate through your affection and (as a very heavy Saturn person) it actually turns me off when people try to force me to be more open/loving, etc. if this bothers you about him now, it will bother you forever and it's best to find someone who speaks the language of love and affection the way you do, or you'll be left feeling cold and unloved a lot. the one thing I know as a heavy-Saturn person.. when I truly want that person and their affection/attention the wall doesn't exist. so, perhaps it's a case of the person doesn't feel enough to let loose and Saturn needs that with the partner IP: Logged |
anonymidarkness
Knowflake Posts: 5143
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted May 26, 2014 01:15 PM
Climb over it.IP: Logged |
Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 428
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted May 26, 2014 01:28 PM
I disagree. The feeling is definitely there. As two Scorpios with Venus in Scorpio, our intuition and gut feeling is rarely ever wrong.. at least in my experience. & I think you misinterpreted my question. The "wall" isn't him. The wall is me or and energy blockage between us. I never said I wanted to change him nor do I want to in any way. He shows affection and I do too. I am just a lot more reserved and calculating with him when it comes to giving affection and from my own observations and research, I blame saturn. We don't have affection issues. I jusy noticed it's not as forthcoming as it was in previous relationships.IP: Logged |
anonymidarkness
Knowflake Posts: 5143
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted May 26, 2014 01:31 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Yanmorg:
I jusy noticed it's not as forthcoming as it was in previous relationships.
Maybe it will take more time. IP: Logged |
Tofu addict
Knowflake Posts: 455
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted May 26, 2014 02:16 PM
I agree, it takes more time, more trust, can take years and years, but the rewards are there. My partner has Saturn conjunct Moon, Venus, Sun, and Mercury, not a bundle of joy so to say, I have Saturn square Venus, conjunct Moon and sextile the Sun. It took 7 years before we kissed, and four more years before we were officially a couple, we never show affection in public, we are very cool towards each other when there are others around us, we can even ignore each other, feel uncomfortable , but it is not an issue as we are singing both the same sheet and understand what is going on. Walking hand in hand as other couples do is like a nightmare for us , but that does not mean there is no affection, there is plenty, just in different ways, and not openly.IP: Logged |
Tofu addict
Knowflake Posts: 455
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted May 27, 2014 12:52 AM
To continue...A heavily saturnine person feels unworthy of love, and is fearful and scared of it , don't underestimate the fear that goes with it, when you tell a Saturn person you love him, or show affection they might think lesser of you , ''cause who could love them?'' What crazy person would see something in them, they can't be right in the head. That is a tough circle.
Again, patience might be the key, no guarantees, but be thtere, don't be phased by the rejections, the coldness at times, when you don't get a smile when you expect one, just gently stay around if he or she is the one for you. IP: Logged |
next to neptune
Knowflake Posts: 1545
From: The Moon
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted May 27, 2014 09:55 AM
Me and my boyfriend both got an intense saturn influence in our charts, and we have sun-saturn double whammy (trine and square) and saturn square venus (I'm saturn)I have ENDLESS patience with this guy. And why? Cause I know he is the right guy for me, he is so stable emotionally… we get along perfectly and there is nothing to put a finger on, BUT I can relate to what you describe, cause I often feel like I want to smother him with affection and I can see especially on him too, that he want's to smother me too, but we just don't…. I don't know why? It's like I'm thinking I have endless patience and I feel 100% relaxed about my own feelings towards him, and they won't ever change… I don't have an "urge" to always hold his hands and smother him, and it's not a sign of "coldness" to me that we don't do that…
It just feels like we have this endless invisible wall between us that makes us hesitate, but if you can imagine it feels like there is an even bigger wall around us that keeps us from falling away from each other… it's a little scary to think about, but I cannot imagine how I can ever escape from this, and there is no reason either… Saturn makes me want to really wait forever if that is what it takes  All our other loving aspects such as (moon-moon, moon-venus, venus-mars, sun-venus and sun-moon) makes it easy to live with, because love and affection comes with smaller glimpses and sometimes they last longer, so it is always this kind of ping-pong between us! (we have sun opp. moon and moon opp. venus) So the answer? You probably cannot get past saturns wall, but remember the even bigger wall around you that binds you together, and all your other loving-aspects makes that wall rather weak and makes it possible for you to look at each other with patience and stability IP: Logged |
Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 428
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted May 27, 2014 10:20 AM
quote:
Originally posted by next to neptune:
Me and my boyfriend both got an intense saturn influence in our charts, and we have sun-saturn double whammy (trine and square) and saturn square venus (I'm saturn)I have ENDLESS patience with this guy. And why? Cause I know he is the right guy for me, he is so stable emotionally… we get along perfectly and there is nothing to put a finger on, BUT I can relate to what you describe, cause I often feel like I want to smother him with affection and I can see especially on him too, that he want's to smother me too, but we just don't…. I don't know why? It's like I'm thinking I have endless patience and I feel 100% relaxed about my own feelings towards him, and they won't ever change… I don't have an "urge" to always hold his hands and smother him, and it's not a sign of "coldness" to me that we don't do that…
It just feels like we have this endless invisible wall between us that makes us hesitate, but if you can imagine it feels like there is an even bigger wall around us that keeps us from falling away from each other… it's a little scary to think about, but I cannot imagine how I can ever escape from this, and there is no reason either… Saturn makes me want to really wait forever if that is what it takes All our other loving aspects such as (moon-moon, moon-venus, venus-mars, sun-venus and sun-moon) makes it easy to live with, because love and affection comes with smaller glimpses and sometimes they last longer, so it is always this kind of ping-pong between us! (we have sun opp. moon and moon opp. venus) So the answer? You probably cannot get past saturns wall, but remember the even bigger wall around you that binds you together, and all your other loving-aspects makes that wall rather weak and makes it possible for you to look at each other with patience and stability
You explained my situation perfectly! Down to every detail. Me and My guy both have Sun-Saturn in our charts (He has the trine and I have the Square). We also have Sun conjunct venus in synastry (double whammy) & Sun conjunct venus in composite. I personally have a very strong mars in my chart (every planet in my chart aspects my mars & mars is on the cusp of my 7th house) so this whole patience and stability is new to me, but it's the best feeling I have ever had. Like you said, it's not a coldness between us.. it's more of shyness that stops us from being so affectionate with each other. We have an unspoken understanding and it works, but sometimes I want that extreme closeness and warmth on the physical side of things. Like you said, I know all it takes is patience because years down the line, I can definitely see is getting past Saturn's wall Thank you for takimg the time to give a detailed answer! It really helped and assured me that this is not all imagined.
IP: Logged |
Aries23Degrees
Knowflake Posts: 479
From: South Africa
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted May 27, 2014 11:33 AM
I agree with all that has been said.I think Venus/Saturn conjunction wants to maintain a high level of dignity at all times. With little bouts of affection expressed in random acts of kindness now and then. For instance, I'd rather go and cook an incredible supper for my boyfriend than hold his hand whilst watching a Zac Efron movie. Affection alone won't quench hunger right? I'm being practical
IP: Logged |
starlitroad
Knowflake Posts: 558
From: Saturn vs. Moon
Registered: Feb 2014
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posted May 27, 2014 01:12 PM
Learn to drive a tank, and destroy it!!I had it in synastry. No fun. No, seriously, no joke.
On the good side- there is a bond. Try to lead the bond onto the positive. It is important to let Venus breathe, without denying Saturn.
------------------
“there are worse things
than being alone
but it often takes
decades to realize this
and most often when you do
it's too late
and there's nothing worse
than too late” IP: Logged |
Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 428
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted May 29, 2014 06:30 PM
quote:
Originally posted by starlitroad:
Learn to drive a tank, and destroy it!!I had it in synastry. No fun. No, seriously, no joke.
On the good side- there is a bond. Try to lead the bond onto the positive. It is important to let Venus breathe, without denying Saturn.
I think that's why I feel so stiffled, restricted, and rejected at this present moment. We spend almost every day together (our moon-moon conjunction in libra might be the one to blame) so I get hit with a never-ending dose of Saturn on a daily basis! I find that when my guy is in a good mental state regarding his finances and overall standing, his Saturn edge is not so harsh. His romantic side kicks in when he doesn't have anything to stress about at the moment. IP: Logged |
Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 428
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted May 29, 2014 06:32 PM
Will that harshness lessen over time? I'm finding that the more time we spend together and the more established our relationship gets, saturn loosens its grip. IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 8153
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted May 29, 2014 07:42 PM
I'm sorry but... isn't that typically a "guy" thing?The not-so-affectionate & maybe-even-actually-coldish thing? Gross generalization, of course, but that seems to be pretty common (there are exceptions, yes, yes).
That being said... Tofu has a good point.
But GOOD GOD! 7 years?! What?? That's insane. Could it be a cultural thing? I'd never heard of something like this before.
Last time I was in relationship, there wasn't an easy flow of affection and it was disturbing to me, because I had all these "ideas" about romance and what a relationship "should" be like, and what I had was... very different to what I expected. And the guy wasn't even that Saturnian; mainly Gemini + Uranus (although he did have harsh Saturn transits going on).
If the person doesn't *show* you, with their body, with their touch, that they're into you, how would you know? (Right, the eyes, blah blah blah.) And how do they express their love, then? I don't really get it. Could it really be a male vs. female thing? Many women complain about their affection-less boyfriends. I'm tots generalizing here, I bet.
But anyway... back to the actual question...
How do you get past the wall.
Well, you'd better be patient, caring, and show *your* love more freely. Also let them know what you'd like them to do, i.e hold your hand, kiss you on the cheek more often, hug you, etc. And if that doesn't work... -> bye bye, lmao. IP: Logged |
Tofu addict
Knowflake Posts: 455
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted May 30, 2014 01:36 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
I'm sorry but... isn't that typically a "guy" thing?The not-so-affectionate & maybe-even-actually-coldish thing? Gross generalization, of course, but that seems to be pretty common (there are exceptions, yes, yes).
That being said... Tofu has a good point.
But GOOD GOD! 7 years?! What?? That's insane. Could it be a cultural thing? I'd never heard of something like this before.
Last time I was in relationship, there wasn't an easy flow of affection and it was disturbing to me, because I had all these "ideas" about romance and what a relationship "should" be like, and what I had was... very different to what I expected. And the guy wasn't even that Saturnian; mainly Gemini + Uranus (although he did have harsh Saturn transits going on).
If the person doesn't *show* you, with their body, with their touch, that they're into you, how would you know? (Right, the eyes, blah blah blah.) And how do they express their love, then? I don't really get it. Could it really be a male vs. female thing? Many women complain about their affection-less boyfriends. I'm tots generalizing here, I bet.
But anyway... back to the actual question...
How do you get past the wall.
Well, you'd better be patient, caring, and show *your* love more freely. Also let them know what you'd like them to do, i.e hold your hand, kiss you on the cheek more often, hug you, etc. And if that doesn't work... -> bye bye, lmao.
LOL, 7 years it was indeed, but the build up was mighty... and in these 7 years we got to know each other very well in all other areas , it was a bit of old fashinoned courting,very subtle, and I never pressured him as I knew instinctively he would be gone. It had to go on his terms. My moon is conjunct all his Saturn planet stellium, so that probably helped, I always felt a huge affection and love for him, and even if the sexual part had not developed, I would still be want to be with him. I simply want to care for him, probably karmic. He was and is worth waiting for and we met when we were in our forties, so that is also quite saturnal, later life loves. ------------------
Be reasonable, talk to your guardian angel IP: Logged |
starlitroad
Knowflake Posts: 558
From: Saturn vs. Moon
Registered: Feb 2014
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posted May 30, 2014 01:45 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Yanmorg:
I think that's why I feel so stiffled, restricted, and rejected at this present moment. We spend almost every day together (our moon-moon conjunction in libra might be the one to blame) so I get hit with a never-ending dose of Saturn on a daily basis! I find that when my guy is in a good mental state regarding his finances and overall standing, his Saturn edge is not so harsh. His romantic side kicks in when he doesn't have anything to stress about at the moment.
That;s saturn for you.....sadly it is like this...my problems rule my responses in all relationships ( saturn dominant..) It takes a lot of support and understanding ...and yes, you will receive gloominess and coldness and sadness , even depressed actions and re-actions, It is like this. I supposed your bf is young? Trust me, Saturn is HELL for youngsters, time and patience:(
------------------
“there are worse things
than being alone
but it often takes
decades to realize this
and most often when you do
it's too late
and there's nothing worse
than too late”
IP: Logged |
Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 428
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted May 30, 2014 02:16 PM
Yes he is. He'll be 20 this November. I'm glad all that negativity is "normal" and it's not just him having a bad attitude towards me. All I want is to understand him as much as possible so I'll know how to deal with all that Saturn and Scorpionic energy.IP: Logged |
starlitroad
Knowflake Posts: 558
From: Saturn vs. Moon
Registered: Feb 2014
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posted May 30, 2014 02:22 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Yanmorg:
Yes he is. He'll be 20 this November. I'm glad all that negativity is "normal" and it's not just him having a bad attitude towards me. All I want is to understand him as much as possible so I'll know how to deal with all that Saturn and Scorpionic energy.
I am 22.:) Yes. It's smth normal and has nothing to do with you. I bet he loves you and cheerishes you ( expressing feelings doesn't come easily either) with the scorp energy I cannot give much insight, I have it as a singleton, but pretty proeminent.
Intense and also the energy works secretively...you must trust him, open up to him and always give the reassurance and loyalty necessary. If you can get through "the wall" be prepared for what you find in there,it's going to be amazing...is your chart saturn and/or scorp friendly?:) IP: Logged |
Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 428
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted May 31, 2014 08:42 AM
Yes & with his Venus in Scorpio Retrograde trine his Saturn in Pisces retrograde (8th house Venus/ 12 house Saturn) it's probably going to be twice as hard to get through his wall. I am actually very Scorpio influenced. I have a Scorpio stellium in my 6th house (Sun, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, Pluto) along with quite a few intense aspects that bring Scorpio energy: mars conjunct pluto, Sun conjunct Pluto, and a Scorpio descendant. My mars is also on my 7th house cusp. I also have moon trine saturn, venus trine saturn, saturn square pluto, mars square saturn, jupiter trine saturn, Saturn square ascendant, and Sun square Saturn natally.. we won't even get started on my uranian energy IP: Logged |
next to neptune
Knowflake Posts: 1545
From: The Moon
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted May 31, 2014 11:23 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Yanmorg:
Will that harshness lessen over time? I'm finding that the more time we spend together and the more established our relationship gets, saturn loosens its grip.
I've felt the same way with my guy:S It's like it feels there is this wall whenever we just met each other, and it get's harder and harder to pull it down again and have fun…. I really feel saturn is stifling between us these days:S But after some days we have spend together, it feels like saturn is losing up again… but it's not the best it could be though…I really don't like saturn, I'm starting to realize how hard it will be with that much saturn energy in our synastry
IP: Logged |
jjj
Knowflake Posts: 318
From:
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted May 31, 2014 02:41 PM
Tofu addict, these 7 years is so sweet. I can resonate as a very saturnian person. I have waited 2 yrs for a kiss that maybe will not ever come or will take some more 5 yrs to wait for, and we have Sun-Saturn and Moon-Saturn DW as well, but our story is different.... I also have infinite patience for him and his Saturn is on my Sun.Non-saturnian people dont get it. If I tell my sister that my foreplay can last years, she just laughs and says she cant wait 2 weeks. IP: Logged |
Tofu addict
Knowflake Posts: 455
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted June 01, 2014 01:51 AM
quote:
Originally posted by jjj:
Tofu addict, these 7 years is so sweet. I can resonate as a very saturnian person. I have waited 2 yrs for a kiss that maybe will not ever come or will take some more 5 yrs to wait for, and we have Sun-Saturn and Moon-Saturn DW as well, but our story is different.... I also have infinite patience for him and his Saturn is on my Sun.Non-saturnian people dont get it. If I tell my sister that my foreplay can last years, she just laughs and says she cant wait 2 weeks.
Yes, it is not always easy, also what I found is that there could be hurdles that are not in relation to the affection, but more in circumstances that can delay the flow, and they are harder to tackle. Saturn is not to be rushed. IP: Logged |
starlitroad
Knowflake Posts: 558
From: Saturn vs. Moon
Registered: Feb 2014
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posted June 01, 2014 03:37 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Yanmorg:
Yes & with his Venus in Scorpio Retrograde trine his Saturn in Pisces retrograde (8th house Venus/ 12 house Saturn) it's probably going to be twice as hard to get through his wall. I am actually very Scorpio influenced. I have a Scorpio stellium in my 6th house (Sun, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, Pluto) along with quite a few intense aspects that bring Scorpio energy: mars conjunct pluto, Sun conjunct Pluto, and a Scorpio descendant. My mars is also on my 7th house cusp. I also have moon trine saturn, venus trine saturn, saturn square pluto, mars square saturn, jupiter trine saturn, Saturn square ascendant, and Sun square Saturn natally.. we won't even get started on my uranian energy :)
you have there a lot of helpful placements, but yea...venus in scorp AAAAND RETROGRADE...with saturn in 12!! and retrograde, gives me the chills...it must be very hard for him to trust and to be loved for what he is, I would not want to have his placements for the world!!..Girl, you need a mountain of patience...with all that scorp I have no doubt that u can wait...BUT...afterall, the scorp IS about fire-consuming passion...it's your decision. But pls, use both hearth and brain when you take your decision:) ------------------
“there are worse things
than being alone
but it often takes
decades to realize this
and most often when you do
it's too late
and there's nothing worse
than too late” IP: Logged |
Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 428
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
|
posted June 01, 2014 11:55 AM
I decided not to be patient and wait things out. He's not a bad person overall, but I do deserve commitment and a title and that's something he hasn't given me. Plus, it's so hard trying to be there for someone and shower them with as much love and care in the world when all they do is reject it. I playfully rubbed his chin hair yesterday as a cute romantic gesture and all he said was "Don't do that". I tried to invite him, his cousin, and his cousin's fiance over for dinner last night and didn't want to go, but whenever he plans something, I'm all down for it. It's like he carries a dark cloud over him 24/7 unless he's having a good day, but even that's not enough to get tid of his negative vibe. I guess all my Scorpionic energy picks up on his negative energy! I personally can't be around someone with so much depression floating around and my chart is filled with Saturn aspects! IP: Logged | |
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