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Author
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Topic: Attracting all the WRONG men...
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LaFatale
Newflake Posts: 18
From: Los Angeles, California, USA
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted June 04, 2014 04:10 PM
  
Never in my life have I attracted so many guys that are 10000% wrong for me. I'm talking about emotionally unavailable ones... guys that just want to bone me & leave me... guys that are in serious relationships... it's fcking uncanny!!! This has never happened to me before & it's really messing with my head. I'm starting to question my worth... like do I really come off as a 5 dolla ho? I'm just a complete mess.. my head has been fcked with too much lately. Please help...IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 8229
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted June 04, 2014 05:39 PM
I'm really sorry to hear that, LaFatale.When did this start happening? And do you have any idea why? There are times in life where things just don't seem to work out... It happens to all of us. Don't despair though, and don't give up; you are worthy of being loved, there's no doubt about that. And you will find that someone who loves you for who you are; you have to stay open to it and expect good things to happen to you.
No negativity. I hope you're feeling a little better. IP: Logged |
starlitroad
Knowflake Posts: 714
From: Saturn vs. Moon
Registered: Feb 2014
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posted June 04, 2014 06:17 PM
Hang in there! You just came across to unsensitive, low-self esteem men who need validation for the number of girls they slept with. It's not on you. Let yourself some time. Try to change your focus on other things that are important to you. Things that make you re-affirm your strength and your worth.
If u go into a new relationship with the state you have now if is probably that u will suffer again. So change your focus. To 180 degrees to happiness! Sending you all my good and earnest thoughts.
------------------
“there are worse things
than being alone
but it often takes
decades to realize this
and most often when you do
it's too late
and there's nothing worse
than too late”IP: Logged |
Aries23Degrees
Knowflake Posts: 504
From: South Africa
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted June 04, 2014 07:08 PM
quote:
Originally posted by LaFatale:
Never in my life have I attracted so many guys that are 10000% wrong for me. I'm talking about emotionally unavailable ones... guys that just want to bone me & leave me... guys that are in serious relationships... it's fcking uncanny!!! This has never happened to me before & it's really messing with my head. I'm starting to question my worth... like do I really come off as a 5 dolla ho? I'm just a complete mess.. my head has been fcked with too much lately. Please help...
Change your vibration and focal point. Make a point to list all the things that you want from a guy and go from there. There is something in your vibration that says; "I hate this. Why does this guy do this?" and that strong emotion sends a signal out to attract more. Energy draws no distinction between"good" and "bad", it only supplies that which you have strong feelings for. So if you have strong feelings against ass***, that is what you'll continue to attract. Even though you are aware that there decent people out there. But because your point of focus is to detail how many ass** you've met,that is where you energy field is, that is the strong vibration and that is what you'll continue to attract. IP: Logged |
lvASTRO
Knowflake Posts: 123
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted June 04, 2014 11:33 PM
I've noticed with myself, in the past, that when I was particularly lonely, and/or yearning for companionship/a relationship, I seemed to attract the wrong types--it's like they could smell my vulnerability and desperation (not saying you are desperate or projecting that), but it was all these hot mess guys knocking on my door. Yikes.The moment I focused on myself and stopped looking, I started finding more stable guys with common interests and hobbies that I happened across just sort of doing my own thing. I definitely agree with the vibration comment above. I think it rang true for me. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 4597
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted June 05, 2014 02:22 AM
Though very rare (so that I don't think it's astrology, at least not solely astrology) I have noticed a handful of people who attract what they hate and/or fear the most. And it is uncanny to the point that it can't just be psychological or otherwise just messed up, but actually paranormal. What I've noticed is that these people have always come from a background that taught them early to expect this. Guys raised by horrid mothers can find they only attract (and are attracted to) only similarly despicable women, though he may hate himself and/or the women for it. A woman raised by a violent alcoholic might only be able to attract (and be attracted to) violent, abusive junkies. And they'll often say that most to all of the opposite gender are that way, and not only can their minds not be changed (due to their experiences which are normal to them while odd to most others) but they'll strangely ignore warnings. So a woman will push guys away because she thinks they're abusive jerks for no reason (other than her belief that all guys are) but when she then falls for a guy who IS then no warning will stop her, she'll still give him--the one she shouldn't--a chance until once again her tragic view is confirmed. It's really sad to watch. The weirdest was this one guy raised by a treacherous, emotionally betraying prostitute and he'd only attracted girls like that. Like the others he saw all females that way but would only fall for those who obviously were, who would confirm his false view of females. And when a friend of mine crushed on him he very rudely rejected her with utter hostility for being that way when she wasn't. But then when my friend had a nervous breakdown and DID become that way (and he shouldn't have been able to know) then suddenly he was crushing on her! And so his experience repeated... Best I can say in this case is learn about synchronicity (I'd recommend Prometheus Rising and Quantum Psychology) and some magic, and work to change yourself from within, because the paranormal responds best to the paranormal. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 4597
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted June 05, 2014 02:22 AM
DISCLAIMER: That said, this may not apply to you...especially as you say this hasn't happened to you before (which begs the question of what else has changed in your life). And there can be perfectly normal explanations for it. Perhaps the most common one in your case is you wait for the guys to come to you and expect them to chase you and sweep you off your feet. But you can't just be a pretty little flower waiting for the bees to come. Sure, it works in the romance novels and too many movies, a jerk comes along and then he falls for the heroine's feminine wiles, and in extreme cases the beast becomes the prince. But that's as absurd as most porn and should not be expected in real life!The better guys aren't likely to pursue you if you're that way while the players, constantly on the prowl, will. Furthermore, the players are not only more aggressive but know to tell you the sweet lies you want to hear while the better guys will deal with you more honestly as well as respectfully (such respect may turn her off just as sweet lies promising love & ecstasy turn her on), and some women mistake the better guys as just not as interested so that she goes with the toxic guy just using her instead. And a player has learned how to feel out women and tell them exactly what they want to hear, but the words aren't sincere, they're just tools to control you. And a great many women fall for a guy like this at least once, and too many do several times as they just can't learn that she's not to be a princess in her tower waiting for a prince to come save her, she has to take a more assertive role in finding the right guy...or get used to being disposable. But again, that's just one explanation (but the one I see as most often the case). Another possible one (maybe even likely depending on the details of your life) is that someone lied about you being easy (possibly an ex, but other women will pull this as well) and now all the guys who heard it are coming for you...though again, they're players, don't let them play you! IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 4597
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted June 05, 2014 02:44 AM
Another thing to consider is just pushing all men away for awhile, just be celibate awhile while finding something else to pursue. It won't kill you and being without a man doesn't mean that something is wrong with you. It can help you unlearn the lesson that you need a man or something is wrong with you and that you can't be happy without one, and thus less desperate and less vulnerable to the tricks of the players (the con-artists of "love"). And it can work wonders for attracting the right kind of guy later on when you've grown as a person and become stronger inside (and thus more interesting to better men). IP: Logged |
LaFatale
Newflake Posts: 18
From: Los Angeles, California, USA
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted June 05, 2014 07:08 AM
Would anyone be able to give me some insight if you looked at my chart?  IP: Logged |
babybull82
Knowflake Posts: 211
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted June 06, 2014 11:42 PM
quote:
Originally posted by LaFatale:
Never in my life have I attracted so many guys that are 10000% wrong for me. I'm talking about emotionally unavailable ones... guys that just want to bone me & leave me... guys that are in serious relationships... it's fcking uncanny!!! This has never happened to me before & it's really messing with my head. I'm starting to question my worth... like do I really come off as a 5 dolla ho? I'm just a complete mess.. my head has been fcked with too much lately. Please help...
I'm sorry I don't have any great advice, but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in your struggle to find a decent man. I'm currently on hiatus and have deleted my "profiles" and am just focusing on me. I'm finding that I haven't even missed the interactions with men. Hang in there girl!!!!
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Randall
Webmaster Posts: 41338
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 07, 2014 10:01 PM
It's a numbers game. Keep trying, and you will find a gem.IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 4597
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted June 07, 2014 10:25 PM
In theory the link on this thread should help, at least with online dating, which presumably could help in real life dating as well:
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum27/HTML/001903.html I haven't watched it, it's not an interest of mine. But whatever is on it might be helpful. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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