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Author
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Topic: Sags. How do you get them to stay?
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hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 7360
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted June 21, 2014 09:16 PM
  
No, there's no Sag guy in my life (yet.  ) But I've had a lot of Sag interactions, or my friends have, and one thing that has me curious is how to get them to stay if they have no earth in their chart? It's not that I think Sags aren't loyal people, but from my experience they move reaaalllly slow and it's acceptable to them not to stay in touch every week, or every month. They seem to like to pop in and out when they feel like it, but I know there's a few select people Sags see everyday or are close to and if you're one of them, what are you like and what's your chart like? Do you think it happened that way because it was convenient, or was it because you both put effort into making it happen?IP: Logged |
Comatoes
Knowflake Posts: 151
From:
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted June 21, 2014 11:46 PM
I don't think I answered your question correctly so I deleted it, sorry.IP: Logged |
IV XXIV
Knowflake Posts: 287
From:
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted June 22, 2014 12:43 AM
I'm very good friends with a Sag. However, he does have Taurus AC.. So it may not be exactly relevant to you.We've been friends for a year or two now, and every now and then we'll get a little distant and go some time without speaking. We both put in effort about 50% of the time. The other 25% it's him putting in more effort, other 25% it's me. Kind of like a seesaw. I've found that just being dry with him works. I don't do it purposely, but it makes him try more when he feels that I'm pulling away. I've tried many times to walk away from him and that'll usually spark something in him to hold on tighter. I wouldn't recommend doing that purposely or in the beginning stages.. He and I have some weird history with each other and we've grown very close, to love and care for one another, so that makes it a little harder to just cut it off. If we didn't take the time to build our relationship to where it is, I wouldn't imagine him to try as much or persuade me when I try to cut him out of my life. It did take a very long time for him to consider me a best friend (we've since drifted). Talking almost everyday, hanging out weekly, and me really putting in initiative to learn about him and his past struggles was what did it. Good luck if you do ever decide upon a Sag lol. They really are something else IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9631
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted June 22, 2014 01:02 AM
Since you are a taurus moon you aren't going to have much luck with sags unless they have some fixed placements to ground them. I am a taurus moon too and I have been there with people with Sag placements and tbh I have blacklisted them, especially sag moons! They are unstable.IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 7360
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted June 22, 2014 01:11 AM
LOL… okay, I'm not a HUGE fan of Sag moons but the more I meet them and study them, the more I understand. They are like the left overs of Capricorn, Scorpios, and Gemini combined. Very much the mentalists it seems and very sensitive indeed, very controlling, very everything whatever they are. Once I understand something I don't mind it.In any case, @IV yes the dry thing did work for a bit. But I don't want to really build a friendship with a Sag/Sag anything based on games and tbh they don't seem the like it either. Perhaps it's the earth in him that makes him cling like that? So far what I've gathered is to be genuine and be their friend moreso than a conquest. But I'm trying to understand what will make them want to talk to you everyday or for them to consider you a best friend besides being new. They are very sweet people and they act like they don't need someone even though it's obvious. I wish I'd had all this insight earlier I probably could've had more Sag-influenced friends! IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 2037
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted June 22, 2014 02:13 AM
I can't get them to go! No, well, half kidding. I do seem to draw in Sag's though.
What I think it is... I match them wit for wit, fire with fire, joke for joke...
If you can hold their attention, they will stay. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 7360
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted June 22, 2014 03:01 AM
Right, but how do you know if you're holding their attention? In my own experience it's hard to tell where you stand with a Sag because they treat everyone the same, in a good way.IP: Logged |
bansheequeen
Knowflake Posts: 247
From: Beachville, USA
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted June 22, 2014 03:20 AM
Well sag friends just tend to,pop in and out of my life at random times. But they're never gone for good. Sometimes I see my sag friend every day. Sleepover every night, always hanging out together. Then we naturally drift to other things. Then back later.IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 4723
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted June 22, 2014 04:01 AM
I'm something of an honorary Sag and I think all the Libra (mental, airy) with Scorpio (probing mysteries) influences along with Sag (that can enjoy mental exploration as much as physical) means I tend to gravitate to those who mentally stimulate me...or make me laugh. But that takes my entire chart into account.As a rule of thumb I'd say try to be fun/funny and also be convenient. If it's not convenient it's not hard for Sag to shrug their shoulders and decide another time is better (OTOH, don't come off as clingy or stalking, that will almost certainly make him bolt). Not being afraid to travel, meet casually outdoors, and inspiring curiosity (without being furtive) is generally a good idea, too. I'm currently with a Sag sun, and perhaps her Sag influences is what restrains enough of her Scorpio Venus/Mars and Cancer moon so that I don't feel smothered (and it was a close call). There's no problem in getting her to stay though the Scorpio & Cancer influences do make their demands (and energy/sign) felt. I also think age tends to settle Sag down just like everyone else (even if not as much). Though that said, my Sag father (who must surely be approaching retirement) hasn't settled down yet or got close to anyone as far as I know (though I have to cut him some slack after what my mom did to him), not unless he's done so in the last few years. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 4420
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted June 22, 2014 04:10 AM
I don't know. I get the pop in/pop out thing with Gemini, not Sagittarius. Personally, I like it.. because I also pop in and out lolIP: Logged |
geminigal2805
Knowflake Posts: 682
From:
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted June 22, 2014 04:20 AM
Be wild,adventurous, passionate,energetic,blunt,intelligent around them. Then disappear for two days cuz u r popular and u have other things that need yr concentration. Just dont be clingy/too moody. I dont think they like mind games.
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PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 4723
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted June 22, 2014 04:27 AM
As for being controlling, the important part about Sag moons is that they like to feel their freedom and they tend to speak their feelings. This isn't necessarily controlling (unless you get one who strongly "feels their ethics" and gets a corncob up their butts about their religion or philosophy as some Sags do) but it appears so as they tend to feel restrained easy and bolt from it, and Sag energy can make one especially assertive and plain speaking which can come off to rude to others (whereas everyone else comes off as playing head games and beating around the bush which tends to annoy Sag, and Sag is inclined to express annoyance, or at least make fun of it). I know human nature, and too many people believe that if they don't have all the control then they are controlled. That's why they feel like people who tell them to mind their own business are "oppressing" them by not allowing them to oppress others. That's an extreme, but it's common enough that I have to take it into account. I'm sure in your case you want to set some ground rules or at least expectations, and they may be fair & reasonable, but a Sag moon might feel the obligations and expectations as a burden and bolt (and moons can be especially fickle), and when they can disappear like that then it can seem like they have the control and use it ruthlessly. Especially if you don't understand Sag enough to know how they communicate and how they'd prefer it if you were just as plain speaking and assertive. It's important to understand what this means and I'm explaining it because a lot of people don't get it: plain speaking doesn't mean cruel. Sags generally feel that someone "sugar coating" all that they say to avoid hurting feelings about the same way you'd feel if someone spoke to you in a sing song voice and patted you on the head, it's demeaning. This doesn't mean that therefore they want you to replace the honey with vinegar instead, that is plain speaking just means speaking the truth but it doesn't mean being insulting about it. Think Spock in the new Star Trek movies, while not a perfect example, he can speak plainly without using either honey or vinegar, his feelings aren't easily hurt and doesn't understand why others are much more fragile emotionally, and that's the part that applies to Sag. If you don't understand this then it's easy to annoy Sag who tends to express their annoyance (or perhaps even worse, make fun of it), so that in trying to communicate it seems Sag is being dismissive. Combined with how plain speaking and assertive they tend to be (plus the ability to leave) it could come off as downright bullying to someone who doesn't understand how Sag interacts, and how (unlike a bully) Sag expects you to be just as plain speaking and assertive rather than make him guess what it is you want, make him beg for it, or make a bunch of promises when he'd rather play it by ear. They tend to be just as confused--and frustrated--with how others try to deal with them just as others feel about the Sag way of doing things. But not everyone gets that because Sags are more likely to shrug it off and go find greener pastures rather than whine about it (I've always thought the Sag philosophy could be summed up as, "Don't worry about spilled milk, the cat will come along and clean it up"), and you know what they say about the squeaky wheel getting the oil. IP: Logged |
NeptunianSag
Knowflake Posts: 982
From: Your imagination
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted June 22, 2014 04:31 AM
What keeps me around is honesty, be true to yourself, no ************ , no trying to change yourself just to please me. Give me freedom, don't suffocate me or make me do things I don't want. Theres nothing worse than controlling people,I just let allmy friendships be natural and not forced. IP: Logged |
charlie
Knowflake Posts: 1979
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted June 22, 2014 04:43 AM
I can answer this because I love Saggis and have many friends! Answer is: go with the flow of things. Sometimes they might want to talk everyday and then vanish (roam) and sometimes you'll hear from them 3 months later. They always seem to just be able to pick up convo where it was left. I have one Sag friend in China, one in NYC, one in Stockholm, one in Los Angeles and one in London  Oh and one Sag Moon in Ohio, Stockholm and Los Angeles. Do NOT try and rein them in!!! IP: Logged |
Ceridwen
Moderator Posts: 13360
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted June 22, 2014 06:09 AM
nmIP: Logged |
Aries23Degrees
Knowflake Posts: 598
From: South Africa
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted June 22, 2014 06:17 AM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
No, there's no Sag guy in my life (yet. ) But I've had a lot of Sag interactions, or my friends have, and one thing that has me curious is how to get them to stay if they have no earth in their chart? It's not that I think Sags aren't loyal people, but from my experience they move reaaalllly slow and it's acceptable to them not to stay in touch every week, or every month. They seem to like to pop in and out when they feel like it, but I know there's a few select people Sags see everyday or are close to and if you're one of them, what are you like and what's your chart like? Do you think it happened that way because it was convenient, or was it because you both put effort into making it happen?
If you have to put "effort" into it, than you are already trying too hard. I find that Sag's approach to friendship is very much the same as Aquarius. To get Sagittarius to "stay", you have to give them options that involve leaving. It sounds like a paradox, but it's not. A constant "open door" policy is best. Never shut the door when they are "in" or "out". Usually they shut the door (and even lock it) themselves when they feel you embody the many "travels" they'd like to go on. That's when they are in-love. And nothing will keep them away from you. Nothing! IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 4420
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted June 22, 2014 09:17 AM
quote:
I'm trying to understand what will make them want to talk to you everyday or for them to consider you a best friend
This is very general and based only on Sun signs.. but these are just my observations.. Some signs are less inclined to have friends of the opposite sex, than others. The most likely to be "boys' boys" in my opinion.. are: Aries, Taurus, Sagittarius. What I mean by "boys' boys" is that they tend to hang out exclusively with other men and have sexist views regarding women. Hence, they wouldn't normally be interested in having a female 'best friend' nor would they imagine that this is possible. Again - purely in my experience - the (hetero) men who are the most open to having close friends of both sexes, and don't discriminate.. are all the air signs.. Gemini, Libra and Aquarius. The other signs are in a grey area - they can go either way. I know that it sucks, specially being an Aries.. to realise that - if you had the exact same personality but were born male .. the Sag guy in question would be open to being 'best buddies'--- but because you are female - he is not interested. I have been in this situation before, not just with Sagittarians.. but in any event, I've learned to accept that some people are simply conservative and closed minded and that's that.
This may or may not fit your situation. I'm just throwing it out there, in case it does! IP: Logged |
ariestaurus
Knowflake Posts: 348
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted June 22, 2014 09:24 AM
I'm a Sag Sun/AscendantYes, we need plenty of space. We don't like feeling suffocated, and anyone who tries to hold us back will face rebellion! We need a long leash; we hate being controlled and being told what to do. Clingy people turn me off, as do overly sensitive people. I do NOT like negative people; I'm very optimistic and sunny and hate those who 'rain on my parade'. I'm definitely horrible at maintaining relationships (i.e. calling/texting on a regular basis). I need variety and drift away when I feel bored with the person. I also have Uranus conjunct my Sun/Ascendant so I'm even more flighty than the regular Sag. For me, the best way to get me is to give me space, and make it known that I'm not the center of your universe. Have your own life, be fun, be optimistic, don't depend on me. IP: Logged |
charlie
Knowflake Posts: 1979
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted June 22, 2014 09:24 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
This is very general and based only on Sun signs.. but these are just my observations.. Some signs are less inclined to have friends of the opposite sex, than others.The most likely to be "boys' boys" in my opinion.. are: Aries, Taurus, Sagittarius. What I mean by "boys' boys" is that they tend to hang out exclusively with other men and have sexist views regarding women. Hence, they wouldn't normally be interested in having a female 'best friend' nor would they imagine that this is possible. Again - purely in my experience - the (hetero) men who are the most open to having close friends of both sexes, and don't discriminate.. are all the air signs.. Gemini, Libra and Aquarius. The other signs are in a grey area - they can go either way. I know that it sucks, specially being an Aries.. to realise that - if you had the exact same personality but were born male .. the Sag guy in question would be open to being 'best buddies'--- but because you are female - he is not interested. I have been in this situation before, not just with Sagittarians.. but in any event, I've learned to accept that some people are simply conservative and closed minded and that's that.
This may or may not fit your situation. I'm just throwing it out there, in case it does!
I remember one thing my Leo/Aries ex told me pretty early on and that was: you and I are not friends, you are my girlfriend, so I hope you have your own life. He only hung out with men when we were not home together and even then he had friends over most of the time. He was, and still is, a big baby.
IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 7360
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted June 22, 2014 12:07 PM
The Sag Suns and Moons, ASC I know all have girl best friends...with no romantic interest.What bores Sags though? I want to get into the intricate stuff that you've observed or feel personally. I notice that too, I think AriesTaurus said it - don't make them the center of your universe. Almost kind of like don't rearrange your life or change who you are to get their attention. They seem to rebel against that. It's also hard to fool Sags, they're empathic in a way even if they're inconsiderate about keeping in touch or other formalities. IP: Logged |
charlie
Knowflake Posts: 1979
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted June 22, 2014 12:17 PM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
The Sag Suns and Moons, ASC I know all have girl best friends...with no romantic interest.What bores Sags though? I want to get into the intricate stuff that you've observed or feel personally. I notice that too, I think AriesTaurus said it - don't make them the center of your universe. Almost kind of like don't rearrange your life or change who you are to get their attention. They seem to rebel against that. It's also hard to fool Sags, they're empathic in a way even if they're inconsiderate about keeping in touch or other formalities.
Boring, controlling and redundant people and things bore sags.
IP: Logged |
Gabby
Moderator Posts: 3958
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted June 22, 2014 12:39 PM
I'm a sag Sun/Merc/Venus and I don't have a clue why I stay with some ppl and dont with others...there seems to be no rhyme or reason. If you figure it out let me know! IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 7360
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted June 22, 2014 01:04 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Gabby:
I'm a sag Sun/Merc/Venus and I don't have a clue why I stay with some ppl and dont with others...there seems to be no rhyme or reason. If you figure it out let me know!
Lol, no clue whatsoever?! IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 2037
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted June 22, 2014 01:05 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Gabby:
I'm a sag Sun/Merc/Venus and I don't have a clue why I stay with some ppl and dont with others...there seems to be no rhyme or reason. If you figure it out let me know!
You're sag?!
I don't know why I didn't know that. For me...
Well I'm actually pretty chill. It's not as if they spontaneously travel the world. But a lot of times if they said, "Hey, we should do ...*this*..." I'd be like, "Ok cool." Also, their bluntness never rubbed me wrong, ever that I remember. I know they do not mean harm. Truth is truth, and I can appreciate that. I think that helps. They like silliness, jokes, a willingness to laugh at yourself. I am definitely all of those things. You guys have no idea. LOL You almost have to be another Sag, in a way. If you're fun to be around, they will come back. It won't happen overnight though.
They want someone to "add" to them. Someone ready to go out of the box. I think if you're moody, etc. They'll keep moving.
Though, once won over, they are fantastic with helping you through things. They know that positive, fun person just hit a bump. They want their friend back. That's been my experience. Not that I'm claiming to be the know-all of Sags.
That's how I see it. IP: Logged |
madgoulding
Newflake Posts: 11
From: new york, ny
Registered: Feb 2014
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posted June 22, 2014 01:17 PM
I feel like sags (and geminis) are the only people who really get me. I like how they keep things light and don't try to be too intrusive or demand too much out of me. I know two sags one is a guy with aries moon and another, a girl with pisces moon. Both have scorpios venuses. Me and pisces moons just don't get along in the long run, most of see me as a cold and heartless butch. As for the aries moon guy, I guess he liked how aloof and distant I was (he was one of the very rare humans who appreciated those qualities in me lol). He had a blunt personality and no bs attitude which i appreciated greatly.I see that most sag guys only ever have close friendships and relationships (that don't go sour or end with bitterness) with air girls. IP: Logged | |
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