posted September 16, 2014 05:54 PM            

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Originally posted by starmoon:
a shy person will make another person happy, absolutely, but only someone who is willing to do some work for them (like ask them out), and most likely a "softer" female, a female who is quiet/shy herself, or one who thinks she can change the guy, etc. being shy or not has no correlation to cheating or straying from a partner. and many shy guys can be found in clubs and bars, perhaps not hitting on women, but drowning their sorrows because they are lonely, etc. extaverts have issues too, no doubt, but innately shy people have issues that are creating the shyness/anxiety. and those issues are what can make the relationships they have problematic, not the shyness itself. shyness is a form of social anxiety and (perhaps) other problems, like the inability to express thoughts or feelings, trouble with facing rejection, difficulty facing confrontation, etc. so a partner has to be ok with that. some are, some aren't, but no shy man should take a complacent role and blame shyness for why he is single, or just hope women will 'understand' him. that, already, is having a pity party of 'poor me, i'm shy.' work through the issue and solve it so you can be a better person, a better partner and a better dater. people 'outgrow' it because they work on it, but don't expect a woman to ask you out and make it easy for you. that is what shy men often expect, and that is wrong.

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posted September 16, 2014 05:55 PM            

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Originally posted by Gemini dear:
And you know for a fact that she is definitely single?

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posted September 16, 2014 06:19 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I don't really know. Haven't asked lol

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posted September 16, 2014 06:34 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
don't think Women should have to do anything they don't want to do. But at the same time it p*sses me off when women criticize shyness in men and say "they aren't worth it" or "they aren't man enough". It's just hypocritical because most women are too shy and would never have the balls to ask a man out or make a move on him. So how do women like that have any room to talk about shy men? Why is it seen as such a huge issue when a man is shy but when a woman is shy she is just being herself? It's a really unfair double standard,that's all i'm saying. And why is it wrong for a man to expect a woman to approach him? 99% of Women expect to just stand there and look pretty and the man will do all the work.

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"Women" don't think that. SOME women may think that. You post a lot about what "women" do and don't do. Women are as diverse as men are.

posted September 16, 2014 09:01 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:

I don't think Women should have to do anything they don't want to do. But at the same time it p*sses me off when women criticize shyness in men and say "they aren't worth it" or "they aren't man enough". It's just hypocritical because most women are too shy and would never have the balls to ask a man out or make a move on him. So how do women like that have any room to talk about shy men? Why is it seen as such a huge issue when a man is shy but when a woman is shy she is just being herself? It's a really unfair double standard,that's all i'm saying. And why is it wrong for a man to expect a woman to approach him? 99% of Women expect to just stand there and look pretty and the man will do all the work.

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posted September 16, 2014 09:50 PM            

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Originally posted by starmoon:
i think, just historically anyway, women who are "shy' are more accepted because it is seen as a positive trait. it is often associated with a kind, gentle, compassionate nature. so it's accepted in women more readily than men imo, and even desired by lots of men.

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posted September 17, 2014 02:32 AM            

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Originally posted by Gemini dear:
Oh! You need to find out first, I'm not the best at giving advice but even though I'm shy too I can talk and hide it well. My friends laugh at me when I say I either feel or felt shy, they don't believe me. Small talk is easy when you work or see someone daily. It's the rest that's hard, the initiating. I would ask her about her weekend. How was it, what did you do, then take it from there. If she went out then ask where, did she have a nice time, then try and squeeze in - who with in a light manner I'm sure you know how to extract info out of a lady 😊 or if you are close with and trust anyone in her company just simply enquire if she's single. Nothing more cringey than not knowing and asking out someone who is already in a relationship

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posted September 17, 2014 06:46 AM            

Also Cappy venus is afraid of rejection.
Reading some basic **** here and there can clarify many things instead of labeling him as so called shy guy.

ps.
It seems that liadbackness is associated as shyness. Lol

Introverted types don't initiate stuff as as often as extroverts do.

Also many still in 21th century believe in stereotypes of manly or real men lol. How sad their lifes must be. Then expecting from others that they should behave cause they don't wanna do it for at least half way.

Women that expect men to do everything seem quite boring to me. Doing everything while the other only stands there expecting to get.
Cause this is how it used to be in the past when we are here in present hjahaha.

Shy/introverts need understanding and trust to open. Must be hard these days.

So real men/manly are the ones called that initiate things all the time. Real women must be then same dont you agree peeps?

posted September 17, 2014 07:21 AM            

I don't expect a guy to make all the moves, however I expect him to take a step towards me and I inturn take a step towards him, whether he is shy/introvert/fear of rejection doesn't bother me and doesn't make him less of a man. However I'm stuck as in what to do next. He seems so guarded, and cautious that I don't know if I should still text him to see how he is, or if he wasn't / isn't interested and would look at my messages as a nuisance or phycho desperate woman.

I'm now in two minds as to what to do.

My best friend the shy guy I mentioned on the previous page is capricorn sun and mars. He doesn't know what he wants out of life. Gives up at the first hurdle, most of the time doesn't even try in life as he has a pessimistic out look.

posted September 17, 2014 07:39 AM            

When they speak to a girl they speak to her how you would a friend, and take an interest in her life as you would with your own friends. You don't have to say much at first, just start with he are you? And leave it at that.

They rarely ask a girl out, it's almost always the girls that suggest going for coffee or concert etc. so talking is the best way, then she will throw you some clues after a while if she's interested. 'How was your day? What did you do on the weekend?' Even throw in a story about you, if it's funny you get extra bonus points but doesn't really matter. But this comes later. I think the 'how are you' is best way to break the ice if you are not on speaking terms.

posted September 17, 2014 09:40 AM            

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Originally posted by Gemini dear:

I don't expect a guy to make all the moves, however I expect him to take a step towards me and I inturn take a step towards him, whether he is shy/introvert/fear of rejection doesn't bother me and doesn't make him less of a man. However I'm stuck as in what to do next. He seems so guarded, and cautious that I don't know if I should still text him to see how he is, or if he wasn't / isn't interested and would look at my messages as a nuisance or phycho desperate woman.

I'm now in two minds as to what to do.

My best friend the shy guy I mentioned on the previous page is capricorn sun and mars. He doesn't know what he wants out of life. Gives up at the first hurdle, most of the time doesn't even try in life as he has a pessimistic out look.

My ex supervisor was aqua sun and moon, also he has the same venus and mars as the guy I'm interested in, pisces and cap. He was super socially awkward around girls, until he got to know them. Not sure if he has ever bothered chasing a girl before he got married. And not sure if he chased his wife or if she chased him. But she is certainly louder and boulder than he is. He's in a world of his own but a really nice person with a good heart. Which makes me wonder if the guy in question is just being nice when he responds to my texts.

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I felt the same. It's fine if a guy is shy. I just need SOME encouragement. When I didn't get it, I stopped. And when I stopped after a while he realized it and came flying back telling me (sort of!) how he felt. Even then he wasn't exactly 100% clear. It was just too late by then.

GD, if I were you I wouldn't worry too much if he thinks you're a psycho! LOL. If the thinks that he's not right for you anyway.

If you are interested, then tell him. He'll either confirm he's not or be happy that he can get over his shyness. Then if he's not interested, don't take it personally.

Good luck!

posted September 17, 2014 12:14 PM            

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Originally posted by Gemini dear:
Weirdo - his venus is pisces not capricorn, it's his mars which is capricorn.

I don't expect a guy to make all the moves, however I expect him to take a step towards me and I inturn take a step towards him, whether he is shy/introvert/fear of rejection doesn't bother me and doesn't make him less of a man. However I'm stuck as in what to do next. He seems so guarded, and cautious that I don't know if I should still text him to see how he is, or if he wasn't / isn't interested and would look at my messages as a nuisance or phycho desperate woman.

I'm now in two minds as to what to do.

My best friend the shy guy I mentioned on the previous page is capricorn sun and mars. He doesn't know what he wants out of life. Gives up at the first hurdle, most of the time doesn't even try in life as he has a pessimistic out look.

My ex supervisor was aqua sun and moon, also he has the same venus and mars as the guy I'm interested in, pisces and cap. He was super socially awkward around girls, until he got to know them. Not sure if he has ever bothered chasing a girl before he got married. And not sure if he chased his wife or if she chased him. But she is certainly louder and boulder than he is. He's in a world of his own but a really nice person with a good heart. Which makes me wonder if the guy in question is just being nice when he responds to my texts.

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Oops, then i misread it.
Could be his rather reserved Cappy mercuy then (who knows).
Texting someone while showing genuine interest or concern how the person is doing is not being desperate . As long as you are not bothering the guy 24/7 or very frequently.