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Author
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Topic: Help confused Shy guy or not interested. Sun aquarius moon taurus
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Gemini dear
Newflake Posts: 16
From: United Kingdom
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted September 13, 2014 05:07 PM
  
Hi I'm new to your site I hope someone can shed some light on my confused thoughts. 2 months ago I met a guy online. We messaged for 2 weeks every day then met for a date. Went well and he asked me out to the cinema the following week. After that we would text daily, but he didn't ask me out again until I asked him out for a meal 2 weeks later. We had a great time and he even text that night to say what a good time he had. but then days would pass with no texts from him unless I initiate it.
He was unwell since our last date 2 weeks ago, I believe him because I too had the flu a few days after our final date, (We ended up in a hot busy casino) I didn't tell him this as I wanted him to have his 'man flu' moment.If I initiate the texts he's more than happy to respond with long detailed and witty texts, but the communication is becoming less and less. We have not kissed, or intimate in any sort of way, except for hold hands at our last date. I think he was waiting for me to initiate. But that's not in my character:/ What I want to know if anyone can help is, am I dealing with a shy guy? Or just someone not interested?
I haven't got his exact time of birth but this is what I do have-
mercury - Capricorn
Venus - pisces
Mars - capricorn
Jupiter - taurus
Saturn - Leo
Uranus - scorpio
Neptune - Sagittarius
Pluto - libra
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next to neptune
Knowflake Posts: 2071
From: The Moon
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted September 15, 2014 07:44 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Gemini dear:
Hi I'm new to your site I hope someone can shed some light on my confused thoughts. 2 months ago I met a guy online. We messaged for 2 weeks every day then met for a date. Went well and he asked me out to the cinema the following week. After that we would text daily, but he didn't ask me out again until I asked him out for a meal 2 weeks later. We had a great time and he even text that night to say what a good time he had. but then days would pass with no texts from him unless I initiate it.
He was unwell since our last date 2 weeks ago, I believe him because I too had the flu a few days after our final date, (We ended up in a hot busy casino) I didn't tell him this as I wanted him to have his 'man flu' moment.If I initiate the texts he's more than happy to respond with long detailed and witty texts, but the communication is becoming less and less. We have not kissed, or intimate in any sort of way, except for hold hands at our last date. I think he was waiting for me to initiate. But that's not in my character:/ What I want to know if anyone can help is, am I dealing with a shy guy? Or just someone not interested?
Both. He is both shy and probably not interested. Believe me the most shy guy will make an initiative if he likes you enough. IP: Logged |
LucieLemonade
Knowflake Posts: 1003
From:
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted September 15, 2014 10:30 AM
I wouldn't be sure he's not interested. That Taurus moon could be the problem. I dated a Taurus Sun who was SUPER shy. I had to mostly do all the initiating and that's not my thing either. Finally, when I figure he must not be interested if he's not making the moves, I stopped contacting him THEN he came charging like a bull. It was too late though. He still gets in touch now. All him. No initiation on my part. But again, it's too late. He's a sweet guy. I feel bad he's so shy when interacting with women. So.... Long story short. He could be super shy with his emotions (moon). But he's probably not for you then. Because you like me don't want to have to do all the initiating. Aqua suns can also keep their emotions in. What is his Mars? IP: Logged |
Gemini dear
Newflake Posts: 16
From: United Kingdom
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted September 15, 2014 11:43 AM
Thank you Next to Neptune and Lucie Lemonade.Next to Neptune, this is how I'm seeing it now. Lucie, I compare how he was during the first 3 weeks, he would message everyday, it was as though our conversation lasted that whole time. His Mars is Capricorn
And his Venus is Pisces He was sick since our last meeting 2 weeks ago. I messaged him last Monday to see how he was feeling and he was still unwell and stressed with work. Wednesday night he messaged me late to say he had been to the doctor and was overjoyed that he was given antibiotics. I responded and he replied the following day- mid day. I then text him back and haven't heard from him since. Thought I'd test him last Wednesday night during the dr conversation and I asked him if he wanted me to make him some soup..haha he didn't mention that in his response.... I take that as a no then😊 It's been 4 days since we last text, compared to his enthusiasm at the begining and now, I feel that I should maybe just take a few steps back and not contact him. I was far from full on when we last met and maybe he feels the same as I do... That I'm hard to read and hard work 😊 The reason why I'm asking advice is it's been a long time to meet someone that is so sweet, I feel so calm and peaceful around him. I always seem to meet intense men that stress me out, this one was different. Lucie I'm sorry to hear it's too late, that's a real shame. I bet he is kicking himself for being so slow.
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LucieLemonade
Knowflake Posts: 1003
From:
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted September 15, 2014 11:59 AM
Well, I think you should go with your gut feeling on this one. Take a step back and see what happens. There is nothing wrong with contacting him in a month or so and try again. I hope he's not kicking himself.  But he is very sweet and very shy with women so I feel bad as he's probably missing out on some good opportunities. Anyway, good luck!  IP: Logged |
starmoon
Knowflake Posts: 1373
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted September 15, 2014 12:28 PM
quote:
Originally posted by next to neptune:
Both. He is both shy and probably not interested. Believe me the most shy guy will make an initiative if he likes you enough.
totally agree, there is no such thing as a "shy guy" - just a guy who doesn't like you or isn't interested in more than friendship. even the most introverted man knows how to make a move if he likes a woman. IP: Logged |
Gemini dear
Newflake Posts: 16
From: United Kingdom
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted September 15, 2014 04:33 PM
I'm letting this guy go. I won't text him. His actions are as clear as day. It's just taken me time to see it. Thanks for all your advice I appreciate it
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babybull82
Knowflake Posts: 362
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted September 15, 2014 09:44 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Gemini dear:
Thank you Next to Neptune and Lucie Lemonade.Next to Neptune, this is how I'm seeing it now. Lucie, I compare how he was during the first 3 weeks, he would message everyday, it was as though our conversation lasted that whole time. His Mars is Capricorn
And his Venus is Pisces He was sick since our last meeting 2 weeks ago. I messaged him last Monday to see how he was feeling and he was still unwell and stressed with work. Wednesday night he messaged me late to say he had been to the doctor and was overjoyed that he was given antibiotics. I responded and he replied the following day- mid day. I then text him back and haven't heard from him since. Thought I'd test him last Wednesday night during the dr conversation and I asked him if he wanted me to make him some soup..haha he didn't mention that in his response.... I take that as a no then😊 It's been 4 days since we last text, compared to his enthusiasm at the begining and now, I feel that I should maybe just take a few steps back and not contact him. I was far from full on when we last met and maybe he feels the same as I do... That I'm hard to read and hard work 😊 The reason why I'm asking advice is it's been a long time to meet someone that is so sweet, I feel so calm and peaceful around him. I always seem to meet intense men that stress me out, this one was different. Lucie I'm sorry to hear it's too late, that's a real shame. I bet he is kicking himself for being so slow.
It's that Venus in Pisces, these men like to be chased. I am a woman with this placement and like to be pursued as well. Just imagine two VIP's not initiating with the other *cue frustration* They come on really strong at first and then just sort of fade..you know like a fog (neptune). They suck you in and then once they "have you" they back off. But if you're interested and keep initiating if they like you they will keep responding. But of course if that is not your thing, than just keep it moving. Also you have to remember Aquarius is all about keeping things casual and friendly. They usually always do the friendship leading into to relationship thing, then with a Taurus moon he's going to be EXTRA slow. If you're patient I'd hang out a little longer but fall back a bit on initiating..if you're not wiling to wait around then move on with life and just keep him as a friend. And hey what's his Mercury in I'm curious.. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9855
From: Uranus
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted September 15, 2014 10:53 PM
quote:
Originally posted by starmoon:
totally agree, there is no such thing as a "shy guy" - just a guy who doesn't like you or isn't interested in more than friendship. even the most introverted man knows how to make a move if he likes a woman.
That's not true at all. When I was younger I was really shy. But I forced myself out of that. And I know guys older than me who have never dealt with their shyness. I know a guy who is 25 and has never hugged or kissed a girl, he hasn't even asked one out. So yeah.. Shy guys are out there, as rare as they may be.
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9855
From: Uranus
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted September 15, 2014 11:26 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Gemini dear:
The reason why I'm asking advice is it's been a long time to meet someone that is so sweet, I feel so calm and peaceful around him. I always seem to meet intense men that stress me out, this one was different.
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The way you describe him reminds me of myself. Which is no surprise because we share the same sun/moon combo. It's just nice to know that some women can appreciate a boring and unsexy guy like myself. Lol
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PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 5175
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted September 16, 2014 12:26 AM
I don't know where this "no such thing as a shy guy" comes from as I've seen 'em, and have heard or read all sorts of advice by women for women on how to get him to overcome it (or to recognize if he's shy or not interested, one key factor usually being if he's especially nervous around her when more easygoing with others because nervousness inspired by his being attracted to her turns him into an idiot and he knows it so he becomes shy around her). And not only that, but I've seen plenty of ads by men for men to teach men how to overcome shyness, which means there are enough men interested for the market to support it. I did a quick search and found this:
http://www.peopleskillsdecoded.com/shy-guys/ And on e-harmony:
http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/about-you/5-dating-tips-for-the-shy-guy/#.VBe 8GxYXOQg There are also songs about shy guys, too. I know I've seen movies of guys being shy, especially toward females he's attracted to. This suggests that there are men who relate to such characters. I'm just baffled that anyone would doubt shy guys exist, including those who are so scared of making an idiot of himself in front of a woman he likes that he becomes especially reserved when she's around. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9855
From: Uranus
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted September 16, 2014 12:40 AM
^ i think its silly that some people think that guys can't be shy. As I said I was once really shy and I know of other shy ones. They are out there.IP: Logged |
babybull82
Knowflake Posts: 362
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted September 16, 2014 12:59 AM
Maybe the women who feel this way have only dealt with aggressive men. So they just kind of you know lump them all into the same group. But I totally understand the frustration. Not knowing if a guy is just shy or not interested. It can be hurtful on both ends really as the guy wants to step out and get the woman he wants but can't because of shyness and the woman feels bad because she thinks the guy doesn't like her. Sucks man... IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9855
From: Uranus
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted September 16, 2014 01:16 AM
I don't think most women have a concept of how complicated it can be for guys to make a move. People who say "the worst she can say is no" are fooling themselves. The fact is when you make a move on a girl,ask them out, express interest etc. and they reject you there is almost always going to be weirdness there. I don't think most women have a concept of that because they don't really have to deal with that the way that guys do all the time. Like right now I have a huge crush on a girl and i'm almost certain that those feelings are reciprocated. But the only problem is if I do ask her out and it turns out that i'm wrong it will make things very weird and awkward for me because I see her on an almost daily basis. I just don't want to risk it. Like I said, it's more complicated then people make it out to be. IP: Logged |
happyaskings
Knowflake Posts: 926
From:
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted September 16, 2014 02:48 AM
You could just be straight up with him and ask. That way you'll at least know and won't have to wonder. But that's my scorp moon/taurus merc no bs approach coming out. My BFF is marrying a man with these placements and he is shy and she definitely was the one that pursued him.IP: Logged |
LucieLemonade
Knowflake Posts: 1003
From:
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted September 16, 2014 08:50 AM
Having dated a very shy man as I described above, I can assure you that they do in fact exist. Even "grown up" men. But for the OP she has to go with what she feels is right. If the man needs to be chased and that is not her style then it's not going to work out as that quality of his will just frustrate her. Dating though is always tough! Especially in the very beginning when there are so many ifs and whats and questions and doubts. IP: Logged |
LucieLemonade
Knowflake Posts: 1003
From:
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted September 16, 2014 08:53 AM
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
I don't know where this "no such thing as a shy guy" comes from as I've seen 'em, and have heard or read all sorts of advice by women for women on how to get him to overcome it (or to recognize if he's shy or not interested, one key factor usually being if he's especially nervous around her when more easygoing with others because nervousness inspired by his being attracted to her turns him into an idiot and he knows it so he becomes shy around her).
Thank you for that! In fact this is exactly how my Taurus guy would act. We always went out together alone for the first hour or so, then we would meet up with his friends. He would be much more outgoing and fun and just at ease around his friends. He was super super shy when we were alone. Personally, I thought it was very cute and sweet, but after a while I just couldn't be the one doing all the perusing as like GD, it's not my style.
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starmoon
Knowflake Posts: 1373
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted September 16, 2014 08:55 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I don't think most women have a concept of how complicated it can be for guys to make a move. People who say "the worst she can say is no" are fooling themselves. The fact is when you make a move on a girl,ask them out, express interest etc. and they reject you there is almost always going to be weirdness there. I don't think most women have a concept of that because they don't really have to deal with that the way that guys do all the time. Like right now I have a huge crush on a girl and i'm almost certain that those feelings are reciprocated. But the only problem is if I do ask her out and it turns out that i'm wrong it will make things very weird and awkward for me because I see her on an almost daily basis. I just don't want to risk it. Like I said, it's more complicated then people make it out to be.
so.. she likely perceives you as shy. there are innately shy guys, sure, but those guys aren't going to be great in relationships anyway, so if a woman happens upon one, they are better left alone. women shouldn't waste their time - there will be someone who is interested that is more than willing to show them. a guy who cannot even bother to ask for a date/number or show marginal interest isn't going to be a great relationship partner. someone shy won't be very expressive with feelings and conversations, and that would make a relationship difficult. when a woman tells another woman that a guy is "too shy" it is also another way of letting her know that the guy won't be man enough... for her. some women are ok with men who are shy and will help them along to get a relationship going. it would be interesting to know how often *those* relationships last. but you've got two strikes against you.. one, you;re not a female so you won't see it as a female does. and two.. you're aqua-influenced... which makes you (fill in blank) anyway :-)
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Gemini dear
Newflake Posts: 16
From: United Kingdom
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted September 16, 2014 01:15 PM
Babybull - his mercury is Capricorn
I haven't got his exact time of birth but this is what I do have-Venus - pisces
Mars - capricorn
Jupiter - taurus
Saturn - Leo
Uranus - scorpio
Neptune - Sagittarius
Pluto - libra Babybull, I took him responding to my texts as being polite and the not initiating as being not interested. Although he did initiate last Wednesday to tell me about his doctors appointment.
-"But if you're interested and keep initiating if they like you they will keep responding." Won't he think I'm a crazy desperate woman if I text him first all the time?
Pixie jane - thank you for the link It didn't cross my mind to google the difference between not interested and shy. The links are very interesting. As babybull said, about the women who only deal with aggressive men. I have only ever come across men who see what they want and go for it. I didn't think shy 'men' existed. Prob very naive of me:/
I don't know what he's like with his friends, I don't think he has many and the ones he does have are married or in relationships. This summer he had gone on holiday with his friend and his friends girlfriend. He doesn't go out, likes his little routine, cycle on weekends and watching movies or documentaries at home. Happyaskings - if I ask him - straight up - I fear he may run and I would be left there with dust on my face feeling super embarrassed. You mentioned that your BFF married a guy with these placements, do you also mean his venus and mars? IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9855
From: Uranus
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted September 16, 2014 04:47 PM
quote:
Originally posted by starmoon:
so.. she likely perceives you as shy.there are innately shy guys, sure, but those guys aren't going to be great in relationships anyway, so if a woman happens upon one, they are better left alone. women shouldn't waste their time - there will be someone who is interested that is more than willing to show them. a guy who cannot even bother to ask for a date/number or show marginal interest isn't going to be a great relationship partner. someone shy won't be very expressive with feelings and conversations, and that would make a relationship difficult. when a woman tells another woman that a guy is "too shy" it is also another way of letting her know that the guy won't be man enough... for her. some women are ok with men who are shy and will help them along to get a relationship going. it would be interesting to know how often *those* relationships last. but you've got two strikes against you.. one, you;re not a female so you won't see it as a female does. and two.. you're aqua-influenced... which makes you (fill in blank) anyway :-)
Well,
Don't you think men who aren't shy get bent out of shape with women who are shy? It goes both ways.. And you seem to have the troubling attitude that I'm talking about. Women who don't have a concept of a man's emotions are better left alone. You have a complete lack of understanding of what shyness is. Most people who are "shy" lose that shyness once they are comfortable with someone. So your assumption that they couldn't be good relationship partners is false. Most shy people are only shy around people they don't know very well. If anything shy men are superior relationship partners because they are less likely to cheat. A shy man isn't the kind of guy you would see hitting on women at clubs.
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Gemini dear
Newflake Posts: 16
From: United Kingdom
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted September 16, 2014 05:15 PM
Aquaguy - for me personally a shy guy is worth their weight in gold (most of the time) I like humble guys, that aren't full on. But then there are girls on the opposite end of the spectrum that like loud extroverts. It's all about personal taste. The girl you have a crush on, do you ever speak to her? Is she at your work or do you study?You mentioned you know a guy who is shy at 25, I can beat 25 my best friend, a guy who is 35, who I've known since he was 19 is super shy, awkward around girls. For as long as I've known him (16 years) he has never had a relationship or even dated a girl. He doesn't even like mixing with my friends as it's out of his comfort zone. He's very set in his ways, even back when he was 19. I've only ever known him to have a crush on 2 girls and no matter what I said he wouldn't do anything about it, and forbid me to get involved. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9855
From: Uranus
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted September 16, 2014 05:25 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Gemini dear:
Aquaguy - for me personally a shy guy is worth their weight in gold (most of the time) I like humble guys, that aren't full on. But then there are girls on the opposite end of the spectrum that like loud extroverts. It's all about personal taste. The girl you have a crush on, do you ever speak to her? Is she at your work or do you study?You mentioned you know a guy who is shy at 25, I can beat 25 my best friend, a guy who is 35, who I've known since he was 19 is super shy, awkward around girls. For as long as I've known him (16 years) he has never had a relationship or even dated a girl. He doesn't even like mixing with my friends as it's out of his comfort zone. He's very set in his ways, even back when he was 19. I've only ever known him to have a crush on 2 girls and no matter what I said he wouldn't do anything about it, and forbid me to get involved.
I just get bent out of shape that so many women think that shy men "aren't worth it" or "they aren't man enough". It really really gets under my skin. It's as if shy men are just supposed to deal with while it's ok for the shy woman to stay in her comfort zone. That's just not fair in my personal. But most shy guys do step outside of their comfort zone even though it's very difficult and uncomfortable for them. It would just be nice if more women were able to respect how hard it can be for a guy to put himself out there. It can be really hard, and most women sure don't make it any easier. By the way studies have shown that men speak far less than women on average. So is being shy really "unmanly"?
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9855
From: Uranus
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted September 16, 2014 05:32 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Gemini dear:
The girl you have a crush on, do you ever speak to her? Is she at your work or do you study?
.
Yes, I speak to her sometimes. She works at a company my company does business with and I am in there quite a bit. She always goes out of her way to be really nice and smiley to me but it's more in the way she acts and how she looks at me that leads me to believe she might be into me. IP: Logged |
Gemini dear
Newflake Posts: 16
From: United Kingdom
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted September 16, 2014 05:41 PM
And you know for a fact that she is definitely single?IP: Logged |
starmoon
Knowflake Posts: 1373
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted September 16, 2014 05:42 PM
a shy person will make another person happy, absolutely, but only someone who is willing to do some work for them (like ask them out), and most likely a "softer" female, a female who is quiet/shy herself, or one who thinks she can change the guy, etc. being shy or not has no correlation to cheating or straying from a partner. and many shy guys can be found in clubs and bars, perhaps not hitting on women, but drowning their sorrows because they are lonely, etc. extaverts have issues too, no doubt, but innately shy people have issues that are creating the shyness/anxiety. and those issues are what can make the relationships they have problematic, not the shyness itself. shyness is a form of social anxiety and (perhaps) other problems, like the inability to express thoughts or feelings, trouble with facing rejection, difficulty facing confrontation, etc. so a partner has to be ok with that. some are, some aren't, but no shy man should take a complacent role and blame shyness for why he is single, or just hope women will 'understand' him. that, already, is having a pity party of 'poor me, i'm shy.' work through the issue and solve it so you can be a better person, a better partner and a better dater. people 'outgrow' it because they work on it, but don't expect a woman to ask you out and make it easy for you. that is what shy men often expect, and that is wrong. IP: Logged |
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