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Author Topic:   Venus/Pluto Women = Black widow??
wheresthemoon
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posted October 18, 2014 02:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for wheresthemoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I read an article recently describing Venus/Pluto women as having the potential to be a "black widow"; basically meaning they use men up and/or lead them to their demise.

I have the Venus/Pluto opposition, and at first I took issue with this. I have NEVER intentionally hurt someone, and if I ever did I did it very gently. It has never been my intention to lead someone to their demise. But when I thought about it, I realized that there have been several guys I've been involved with who completely changed or even seemingly destroyed as a result of our relationship, or they got completely crazy when I rejected them.

One guy who was totally innocent and clean before immediately got into drugs when I broke up with him. Several others totally changed their personality afterwards (dressing, talking differently, getting into drag racing and drugs, etc). Another called me obsessively even though I ignored his calls just to tell me he was dating someone new (and I obviously didn't care).

Like I said, I never intentionally hurt or changed anyone. I just did what I felt was right and tried my hardest to end things before they were too emotionally involved. But even though it was unintentional, it feels like there have been several times when people were deeply hurt when I didn't reciprocate their feelings.

Is this a Venus/Pluto thing? Or do I just attract people who are emotionally unstable/chaunvinists? lol. If you are Venus/Pluto or have been involved with someone with this aspect, I'm interested to hear your thoughts.

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athenegoddess
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posted October 18, 2014 03:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for athenegoddess     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes, I know a guy who dated a girl with this aspect and he was crazy abut her. But she didn't reciprocate. She hurt him.

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wheresthemoon
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posted October 18, 2014 03:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for wheresthemoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by athenegoddess:
Yes, I know a guy who dated a girl with this aspect and he was crazy abut her. But she didn't reciprocate. She hurt him.

Thanks for the reply!
Did it seem like an intentional thing to you, or do you think most people with this aspect do it without realizing it?
Let me clarify: I think someone would have to be pretty sick to hurt someone just for the sake of hurting them...that's not what I mean. I mean did it seem like she was leading him on and didn't really care that she hurt him, or did it seem like him being hurt was just a byproduct and it was pretty innocent on her part...she just didn't want the relationship anymore?

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athenegoddess
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posted October 18, 2014 03:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for athenegoddess     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
He told me that she was sleeping with other men while they were somewhat dating and it hurt him. and this is a guy who is as promiscuous as they come.. i was shocked to hear she had him like this. of course her venus pluto opposition fell exactly on his ASC/DSC.

its my feeling she wasn't intentionally doing it, but he liked her so much that she let him into her life. but she wasn't planning on taking him seriously. she more like wanted to have fun and he was more serious. which was a first for him.

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GeminiKarat
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posted October 18, 2014 04:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GeminiKarat     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have ♀ ☌ ♇. My Ex´s (<=more than one) are still alive. It takes years to change men. After some years I realized, that I cannot change men.

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wheresthemoon
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posted October 18, 2014 04:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for wheresthemoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by GeminiKarat:
I have ♀ ☌ ♇. My Ex´s (<=more than one) are still alive. It takes years to change men. After some years I realized, that I cannot change men.

Well yeah, if you give someone long enough they will move on with their lives. I am talking about how the relationship affects them and how they react immediately afterwards.

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PixieJane
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posted October 18, 2014 04:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Venus/Pluto here in stellium (Scorpio cusp, too). I'd have to say no for me...but I can see why someone would make that assumption about the placement and point out that relationships tend to be passionate for me (even long term is often a smoldering fire that flares up again and again) so it COULD turn out that way.

There is only one guy I MAY have gone "black widow" with, but I'm not sure. I feel guilty about it all the same but I don't know how he feels about it...he may even recall it fondly and relate the story to all his friends as a form of bragging, I don't know. Still, he was 18 living in with his abusive father so things were bound to fall apart regardless.

Other than that one possibility, no. Not unless you count those who have strong feelings for me that I don't reciprocate, but how would that fit the black widow archetype that seduces and destroy? That's saying she MADE him feel that way on purpose...but I can see others saying so because they believe that women are responsible for everything about men, how they feel and act and all that as if men had no spines of their own (though interesting enough people with such beliefs want men to be the "strong one" ). Since I did not seduce them I was not a black widow in that case.

My relationships have been fairly healthy and happy otherwise. One exception, but my partner wasn't destroyed, though I was grievously hurt. She did lose her best friend which upset her but that was because of her actions and demands, not mine.

My mother, OTOH, is a black widow type...she'll tell you that herself with a proud smile. She's a Scorpio sun, mercury, Venus, Neptune, but Virgo Pluto. (Lots of Leo in her chart, too.)

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wheresthemoon
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posted October 18, 2014 05:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for wheresthemoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks for the reply, Pixie! What you said about your mother made me laugh😄

Hmm. Maybe the conjunction and the opposition play out differently. I've heard the conjunction can be an easy aspect, so maybe despite the magnetism, it is easier for everyone involved when it is easy.

When I think of the Venus Pluto people I know who seem to have that black widow thing going on all have the opposition. My mother has it, and when she divorced my dad (rightfully so) after 17 years of marriage his life completely disintegrated. He basically became homeless and stopped functioning...serial dating and go only knows what else. At one point he was living in a truck next to the river.

A friend of mine was dating a girl with Venus Pluto opposing and when she left him, he basically collapsed in on himself. He wouldn't talk, would barely eat, and ended up going to the same college as her and was slapped with stalking charges and had to leave school. (I do not condone his actions and I think they are pathetic.)

Idk. Maybe it is a difference in the nature of the aspect.

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Gemini30
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posted October 18, 2014 06:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gemini30     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What about when the man has Venus opp Pluto?

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wheresthemoon
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posted October 18, 2014 09:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for wheresthemoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Gemini30:
What about when the man has Venus opp Pluto?

I have no idea...I actually don't know any guys with the opposition!

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Astra
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posted October 18, 2014 09:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Astra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have this aspect and it is odd to say the least. I have never intentionally hurt someone unless of course they betrayed me.

Without effort on my part, I noticed that men often propose to me within minutes of meeting me. Naturally, I assumed they were kidding, but I quickly found out that they were serious. When I declined these proposals, these men would end up in a very deep depression, which still surprises me to this day. I cannot understand how anyone can form such a deep attachment to someone else they've known for less than ten minutes.

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Long - standing
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posted October 18, 2014 11:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Long - standing     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I know a woman who survived the death of 4 husbands/ Her Mars conj Pluto, Venus square Jupiter, Neptune. In seems the problem of Mars Pluto. When she is hurt, the agressive energy comes back to abusers. But it's just an assumption.

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Iced8Ace
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posted October 18, 2014 11:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Iced8Ace     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have Venus square Pluto at 0.33 degrees. My Venus is exalted, rules my chart.

This energy I've realized both makes and breaks your relationships at the same time. The prize is transformation at it's core. The sorrow is the "death" of the relationship, the harshness of unrequited love.

All of my crushes so far have been requited. Somehow they are also "not requited". It's like swinging back and forth. Take the good with the bad.

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Solar_Leo_Queen
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posted October 19, 2014 02:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Solar_Leo_Queen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I feel you. I have Venus square Pluto. I lead on guys a lot but not intentionally. Most of the time, I'm just oblivious.

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wilderplain
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posted October 19, 2014 03:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for wilderplain     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm a guy with Venus conj Puto in Scorpio (trine Mars). All less than 1 degree orb.

I've had a couple of big relationships and they transformed me in different ways. Only the latter, however, would I class as 'destructive'. As in, it destroyed ME.

My first love: a month into our relationship her mother died, and it was very tough on her. It coloured the remaining year or so of the relationship. However, (a few years later now) she is one of my best friends and knows me better than probably anyone else on the planet. I feel I'm closer to her now than even when we were together. A true 'soul' connection. The question is: would we be as close had I not been there during that hard time? It's strange for me to realize that this connection I have with this beautiful person, whom I cannot dream of living without, was forged in the shadow of death.

My next SO and I broke up after I fell for another girl. She was a scorpio we were incredibly close, and I couldn't pull myself away from her even after we split and so began one of those awful love triangles. It all fell apart quite magnificently and I was thrown into a deep pit of guilt and remorse and resentment and loss for a long time (2-3 years), in which I had to confront a lot of deep emotional stuff. Looking back I feel like I completely rebuilt myself from scratch. It was a real Dark Night of the Soul experience. Very Plutonic (pluto was also transit squaring my moon for a big part of this time).

Even now I feel the aura of power struggles shadowing every romantic entanglement I have, yet now I'm very cautious about getting in too deep with the wrong people. The emotional consequences are quite extreme, for everyone involved.

I think with the intense energy of Pluto comes a lot of responsibility. You can either be held captive to your compulsions, or you can master the beast within and direct the energy in much better ways.

I always think of the Tarot card 'strength' to symbolise this: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f5/RWS_Tarot_08_Strength.jpg

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eliotray
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posted October 21, 2014 12:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for eliotray     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Can gay men be black widows? haha
I've the sun/venus/mercury/pluto conjunct in scorpio opposite taurus moon.

I totally have the propensity to (for lack of a better word) destroy someone during or after a relationship. I give warning that I'm not the easiest person to deal with prior to any serious commitments but my romantic affairs never last long, and the other person does "change" to some extent, but I've never led anyone to self destructive behaviors. Normally we're self destructive together... lol

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Gracha
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posted October 21, 2014 12:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gracha     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm venus in taurus opposite pluto and I don't think I'm a black widow but I've joked a few times about leaving a trail of broken hearted guys behind. Seriously I can be soo into a person then pull away thinking they're out to get me etc. Relationships in romance is too much work!

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whaaat
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posted October 21, 2014 03:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for whaaat     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I wish lol

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Virgo28
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posted October 21, 2014 08:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Virgo28     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@ Wheresthemoon, I can relate to everything you said...

Watch this video:
http://youtu.be/6MXqI3pGTDE


------------------
"If a man does not work passionately - even furiously - at being the best in the world at what he does, he fails his talent, his destiny, and his God."

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Virgo28
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posted October 21, 2014 08:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Virgo28     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by wheresthemoon:
Thanks for the reply!
Did it seem like an intentional thing to you, or do you think most people with this aspect do it without realizing it?
Let me clarify: I think someone would have to be pretty sick to hurt someone just for the sake of hurting them...that's not what I mean. I mean did it seem like she was leading him on and didn't really care that she hurt him, or did it seem like him being hurt was just a byproduct and it was pretty innocent on her part...she just didn't want the relationship anymore?

They become beyond needy/obsess/powerless with me when I don't feel a thing for them.

------------------
"If a man does not work passionately - even furiously - at being the best in the world at what he does, he fails his talent, his destiny, and his God."

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astra7
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posted October 21, 2014 08:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for astra7     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have this aspect natally. Trine but Exs and family member end up making anonymous calls and get very obsessive. I no longer do relationships because of it. This is the only way I don't end up in that kind of situation.

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bansheequeen
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posted October 21, 2014 11:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for bansheequeen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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hypatia238
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posted October 21, 2014 11:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My parents both have the opposition and no; neither ever hurt anyone and are really nice people. Neither are heart breakers.

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bansheequeen
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posted October 21, 2014 11:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for bansheequeen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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Virgo28
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posted October 21, 2014 11:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Virgo28     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
..

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