posted October 26, 2014 06:02 PM            

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
Thanks for sharing. I find Mars-Chiron sandwiching the Ascendant particularly interesting. Is she open about her asexuality with everyone?

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Yep, no problem. Also Saturn opposing could add to it. She's relatively open about it, yes.

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Originally posted by libran_dream:
Not to discount her experience and feelings, but your friend is only 18.
At 18, a person is not yet fully physically developed (the prefrontal cortex is still developing, the hormonal system is still being calibrated... lots of work for the body to do yet).

Asexuality in your teens is not that rare. In fact, the law, and every parent on Earth, expect it to be the norm. When she passes her Saturn's Return and still feels exactly the same... Then it's something to look into.

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posted October 26, 2014 06:28 PM            

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Originally posted by socialgraffiti:
Normally I would agree with you, but there is some key information that I think would change your perspective:
-Little to no interest in fashion/make-up
-Dislikes showing skin on her body
-Has never experienced a 'crush' on or relationship with a person
-Sex scenes also make her uncomfortable
-Very cerebral, lives inside her head
-In fact, whenever people say to her, "You just haven't met the right one yet"(Because I guarantee you, your belief is shared with many), she absolutely hates it.
-She's interested in astrology as well, and when one of the reports on astro.com talked about the kind of man she supposedly wanted, she was extremely irritated, and questioned why our culture (we live in the U.S.) was so focused on romantic relationships.

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She has Pluto opp. Eros on the 2-8 Axis. That is very indicative of a strong and intuitive sexuality, but this is an intense aspect that needs a)time, b)maturity and c)a trigger.

When a progression, a transit, or a synastry, or, more likely, a combination of all three, hits it, it'll activate.

Just from a very casual look, you can see that her pSun will hit her BML at 30, and Venus at 33. At around that time, Eros will be moving into the pH7 as well.

She also has a Mars/Chiron exact conjunction on her AC. Those are people that absolutely refuse to display any weaknesses to others, although they harbour many. And, until you mature in it, human sexuality is very much a weakness.

posted October 26, 2014 06:44 PM            

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Originally posted by Liliya:
Leo Sun with Venus/Lilith and Mars/Asc ... I highly doubt so. She's just very young, a lot of people don't even experience a proper sexual or romantic relationship by that age.

Leos can be stubborn and say things without actually meaning it

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Eh, but she does have Chiron closely conjunct her Mars and Ascendant... Neptune is square and Saturn opposing.

She's good-looking and friendly, but she abhors romantic relationships. While she's usually gentle, she becomes pretty insistent on that topic.

posted October 26, 2014 06:50 PM            

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Originally posted by libran_dream:

None of these are all that unusual, I assure you. I also very firmly believed I was asexual in my teens. Turns out, no, not really.

She has Pluto opp. Eros on the 2-8 Axis. That is very indicative of a strong and intuitive sexuality, but this is an intense aspect that needs a)time, b)maturity and c)a trigger.

When a progression, a transit, or a synastry, or, more likely, a combination of all three, hits it, it'll activate.

Just from a very casual look, you can see that her pSun will hit her BML at 30, and Venus at 33. At around that time, Eros will be moving into the pH7 as well.

She also has a Mars/Chiron exact conjunction on her AC. Those are people that absolutely refuse to display any weaknesses to others, although they harbour many. And, until you mature in it, human sexuality is very much a weakness.

She'll just have to wait and see. Maybe, maybe not. Time will tell.

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Very true on the whole maturity thing. I'll look out for this. She's extremely talented and interested in chemistry (creating explosions), just not the physical kind, lol.

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Originally posted by Odette:
Imo one indication of asexuality are Mars/Neptune aspects.. mainly if close or on an angle. She has the square on AC/IC.
I have the conjunction on DC and I relate to asexuality/demisexuality.

The Mars/Chiron probably adds some sort of pain associated with sex, probably emotional pain.. This might be why sex makes her so uncomfortable. This (in itself) is not a trait of asexuality btw. Many asexual people have no issues with sex whatsoever.. They are simply disinterested and have no desire for it.

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That's interesting.

posted October 26, 2014 08:14 PM            

I don't think that asexuality in itself is a mental/physical problem or a disorder... and I don't think it requires psychological treatment. I'm more inclined to see it as a sexual orientation.

But, if a person actually has a serious fear of sex (genophobia) or negative feelings like disgust/hatred towards sex - these feelings are not directly related to asexuality (which is simply a disinterest and lack of desire).

Both sexual and asexual people can hold negative views towards sex and/or suffer from genophobia.
Imo.. this mindset is not healthy and can be damaging to the person. There can be many reasons for it - such as having very puritan/religious parents, or parents who never really talked to them about sex (no real sex education), or even being abused and having traumatic experiences with sex.
The fact that her father was not around - so they have no father-daughter relationship..and he never discussed sex with her from a male perspective, could be a potential reason.

posted October 26, 2014 08:27 PM            

One asexual had a frank discussion about sex with me that was open (she also taught sex ed at California school--that means it's actual sex ed rather than the "abstinence only" BS designed not only to keep kids ignorant but also scared with lies as much as the truth--and rolled her eyes at the kids trying to embarrass her with explicit questions who taught the class because the married teachers were uncomfortable talking about it) and encourage me to experiment (carefully) with both males and females and not to confuse lust with love. She was also a sucker for many romance series though she got by on very close friends she saw as family as well as a host of pets (a cat AND dog lady). That said, she was firm against any sexual harassment and when she took up an offer for a free massage by a professional saying he was just hoping she'd come back to pay for more she left when he got "inappropriate" but she was merely disdainfully dismissive of him rather than the hysterics some people at LL would be in.

posted October 26, 2014 08:40 PM            

I'm just curious and believe that what we're raised on shapes our attitudes toward love and sex. Though it's possible that our innate tendencies guide our interests in entertainment as well children do often imitate what they see--and sometimes what they watch and read--as their lifelong habits (which include thinking and attitude) are formed.

posted October 27, 2014 01:06 AM            

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Originally posted by Odette:
Hmm... When I hear something like "sex grosses me out" from a person who identifies as asexual, it kind of concerns me.

I don't think that asexuality in itself is a mental/physical problem or a disorder... and I don't think it requires psychological treatment. I'm more inclined to see it as a sexual orientation.

Because this negativity can stem from other, deeper issues.. I think she should talk to a school counsellor or psychologist, if she is able to. Maybe you should just mention this to her and see if she wants to... It might be a good idea.

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I've been around plenty of asexuals who are comfortable showing skin and fine (though rarely drawn to) with erotica or romance.

I'm sharing this because I'm not so sure your friend is genuinely asexual...and yes, I do believe some people are, but that it should not be confused with those who have been traumatized. Even if she's genuinely asexual her aversion is a separate issue. Being a teenager it could be that she's still very uncomfortable about her body mixed with a sense of rebellion against expectations, but my first impression is someone like that is someone who has been abused (doesn't have to be sexual, can be religious or emotional). Not the asexuality part, but rather the being hypervigilant of being touched, showing skin, and all that which creates a false asexuality.

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I think it's because that being female, very frequently taking interest in one's appearance is interpreted as also being interested in a romantic/sexual relationship. And especially around hormonal teenagers, showing skin is interpreted as being sexual, though of course that's not always the case.

She's open to discussing her sexuality though. I actually offered to come with her to a school dance (she didn't have a date), and she seemed pretty open to it even though I was also female. She's also part of the GSA (Gay Straight alliance, LGBT organization.)

She has had a rather difficult relationship with her mother. From what I know, she hasn't experienced any religious or physical abuse, though emotional is very possible.

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Btw, what media (books, movies, etc) does your friend like?

I'm just curious and believe that what we're raised on shapes our attitudes toward love and sex. Though it's possible that our innate tendencies guide our interests in entertainment as well children do often imitate what they see--and sometimes what they watch and read--as their lifelong habits (which include thinking and attitude) are formed.

It might also give some insight to her character as defined by her placements that possibly make her asexual.

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She seems to have an intense interest in psychology- Malcolm Gladwell, handwriting analysis books, etc. Also has a tarot deck. Likes Homestuck (a cartoon), which is also focused on psychology through Myer Briggs types. Enjoys mostly anything intellectual..? She's not very big on romantic comedies though, lol.

posted April 29, 2018 12:09 PM            

And, hah! Virgo in the house of Aquarius! Virgo can very much tend toward abstinence, and so can Aquarius, for that matter. Aqua, depending how strong the Aquarian energy, and aspects, can even easily forgo relationships altogether. Intimacy issues are also traditionally something Aquarians are known to deal with (be it physical closeness, emotional and/or otherwise)

posted April 29, 2018 12:23 PM            

She has them both
Libra ac with Mars square saturn

Plus, her 5th ruler is also square both saturn and Mars, so sex might be something she finds very difficult and problematic

posted April 30, 2018 02:21 PM            

Saturn-Mars opp

Ruler of the 8th(Ven)in 11th conjunct Merc
Ruler of the 5th(Nep) in 3rd

The former may have more interest in platonic affections(11th house is all things platonic and Venus there suggests pleasure in platonic relations).

The latter is romance that has a "sibling" touch to it. A sort of brother/sister relation with the partner. More cerebral than passionate.

Her strong aversions to things is Mars conj Asc opp Saturn in action.

This placement can either have one act discerning and conservative to things that are too "in your face".Or become the " authority" on sexual expression I.e what is "appropriate" and what is not.

I agree that Venus in Virgo/Mars in Libra plays a role. This is the search for ultimate perfection. And raw sexuality can disturb these folks on one hand.

posted April 30, 2018 04:36 PM            

But also, if you were looking for a simple answer, another culprit would be Venus in Virgo/Mars in Libra combination. As Aries23 said, this combination is the ultimate search for perfection. I have read somewhere it indicates the “reasonable lover”, but can sometimes be too reasonable. In love and sex, thinking too much doesn’t really help. Also, Lilith in Virgo is another placement that would indicate someone who can get pretty disgusted with sex. She might have a subconscious fear of being called a wh*re.

Me and your friend have almost similar placements. I am a Leo sun with Mercury/Venus/Lilith in Virgo and Mars in Libra. I think we may have been born in the same year? ‘97, if I’m not mistaken. In my teens, I didn’t wanna be kissed or touched in any way other than a friendly hug. Also, the thought of having a boyfriend disgusted me even though I kept looking for the ideal man. I was also honestly afraid to show my sexuality (I can get real freaky) because I didn’t want anyone to think I was a wh*re.

The upbringing may have something to do with it too. For example, in my experience, I went to a private Catholic school my whole life and even when I moved to Canada. My family was extremely religious and I had a mother that expected me to be “pure” in every way. The rhetoric that sex was bad and gross was hammered deep into my subconscious. Also, I was constantly being told by the people around me and the media that girls who like sex are bad. I would attribute all these experiences to having Lilith in Virgo since Lilith is our feminine side we don’t wanna show as women.

Ask your friend. Maybe she experienced the same thing.

posted June 21, 2018 08:20 PM            

I am asexual
But I wasn’t always this way
I actually had an enormous Sex drice before this medicine dulled my senses and changed my brain chemistry
In about five months things should return to normal according to the doctor but it could take longer
Either way it’s hard being asexual in today’s society

I do have a guilty past like the rest of the world but I’ve made peace with it like most do
But I’m 100% it was the ssri

sooo
Mars scorpio tropical
Mars libra Vedic

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Tropical Sun Libra/Moon Sagittarius/Ascendant Gemini