posted December 09, 2014 01:41 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:

No,No... I don't expect a woman to pursue me, I think all of those games are childish. What I mean is I want a woman who meets me halfway in everything. It doesn't really matter who breaks the ice first though.

---

posted December 09, 2014 01:43 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[/b]I'm a moon in taurus. And what??? If you don't think there's an imbalance of power in the traditional courtship rituals that overwhelmingly favors women you are delusional. Think about it this way... Men are expected to make all the moves, plans, phone calls/texts,and pay for the dates while the women get to keep their cards close to their chest and accept or reject him. It's alot like a job interview process... The applicant (man) turns in their resume/application to the company (woman) and they get to decide if they wish to give the applicant an opportunity to come in for an interview. If they decide to grant an interview they tell the applicant when to come by. Once the interview starts it's up to the applicant to sell themselves and convince the company to hire them. Afterwards the company gets to take their time and make their decision while the applicant is sweating bullets and hopes and prays that they get the job or atleast a 2nd interview.In that scenario who clearly has the power? The company! Anyone who has ever been through that process knows that. And that's the way traditional dating is for men, atleast that's the way it feels to me. I know the OP wasn't directly talking about pursuing/being pursued but I constantly hear the kind of language she is using in her OP from the type of women that expect a man to do all the work in dating. Oh... And i'm not butthurt! I just know what I want and won't settle anymore. I would rather be alone than deal with women like that. [/B]

---

posted December 09, 2014 01:59 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by bansheequeen:
I never thought of it as a power thing.

---

posted December 09, 2014 02:00 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by NeptunianSag:
Is this like a doomed Venus placement? Everyone is so boring, I've come to a boredom phase in my life where men are all predictable or have nothing interesting or mysterious to offer. I feel abit crazy too, like a teenager looking for the next exciting thing to do, but everyone is so safe, closed and predictable EURGH! Just waiting for a bad boy to sweep me off my feet, be ourselves and just live!

---

Be careful what you wish for

I wonder, do you have trUranus sitting on any personal planet? Even on the progressed chart?

My sister has Venus in Aries and the current transit of Pluto/Uranus in Aries/Capricorn is having her yawn on dates she goes to Lol.
She is so bored with what's on offer. ..

But she also has Uranus/Saturn conjunct natally in 5th and so I think she wants a little of both. Stable excitement!!!!

But for now the Uranus/Pluto mix is driving her up the wall. She seems so bored and calls her dates "too normal".

I told her the same thing I am saying to you now. Be very careful what you ask for as Uranus/Pluto square mix is only getting started and will sweep past her Venus with many retrograde hits the coming years.

posted December 09, 2014 02:08 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by starmoon:
maybe you should just be filling out several applications and not wait from a callback from one 'employer.'

---

posted December 09, 2014 02:54 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
But it is definitely a power thing. The problem is you are a woman and can't see it because you have been conditoned by feminism to believe that everything benefits men to the point where you can't empathize with men at all. What i'm about to say will be extremely politically incorrect but it's the truth. courtship rituals are a perfect example of female privilege in action. Women hold the lion's share of the power in the relationship realm. True story.... One of the guy's in my social circle is gay and he was telling me and the other guys in our group how he can go to a gay bar and have multiple offers from guys wanting to take him out or hook-up. Me and all of my other friends laughed and said we wished we could go out into public and have women approach us and offer us sex or ask us out on dates. But sadly men rarely,if ever, get that from women. But it's a privilege women take for granted everyday. You women have the luxury of knowing who is into you and being able to accept or reject offers. Most guys never get that.. Never... We have to risk rejection,make the moves,and play womens games by their rules if we want to get any action.. The whole game is controlled by women. Most women never have to deal with any of that because they stay in their safe little bubbles and let the guys do all the work. Now i'm not complaining, so don't take it like that, I'm just telling it like it is. It's just a fact that the traditional dating/courtship rituals favor women. I mean why do you think most women are still clinging to this outdated system almost 15 years into the 21st century? It's because they know they have all the power and don't want to give any of it up. Personally I'm hoping things start equaling out more in this area sometime soon. It's just funny to me that women today scream that they are equal and they have proven that they are in many respects but they still refuse to put themselves in a man's shoes when it comes to dating/relationships. I have faith that women could handle it well but most of them don't want to do it.. Yet

---

Ok but how do you not see that this goes both ways? By these standards you could also say if a girl is sexually aggressive or puts out too soon she's basically not "relationship material" (and who holds the power then if the girl was actually interested in the guy and is waiting for a call back that will never happen lol). Guys use girls for sex all the time, and while a guy might not mind being used for sex lol sadly for some/many girls their self-esteem can get wrapped up in it since obviously there's a lot more emphasis put on women's appearances in our society- we face a different type of competition. And for the girls who do make it past booty call status, who holds the power after all the swooning and "interviewing" as you put it is over and the guy who has been paying for all those expensive dates also controls most or all of the finances in the relationship? (depends on the situation of course but I'm sure you get what I'm saying).

It's all give and take.. Yeah attractive women can find sex and even money relatively easily if they really want to, but is it really worth it to be with someone you have no genuine connection with? Not in my opinion..

posted December 09, 2014 03:01 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by bansheequeen:
Yeah. It's just all screwed up. Women are expected to be pure so they hide thier desires. Men have the idea that if a girl makes him work for it or she puts it off for a few dates, she is a good girl and pure and whatever. Even if she isnt. And girls will think that if a man is willing to go that far to get inside her lol then he is going to do everything for her if she strikes the perfect balance of putting out and restricting it. Which isn't true either.

It's just all screwed up. Makes me want to become a hermit haha.

Well I'm an aqua sun. And I really value people that are genuine. Cant tolerate fakeness. And to me, the whole dating courtship thing is all a huge fake game.

---

Exactly, it's ridiculous. Makes me want to be a hermit too lol, I'm actually reeeeally done with the whole thing for right now.

posted December 09, 2014 03:14 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by FireMoon:
Ok but how do you not see that this goes both ways? By these standards you could also say if a girl is sexually aggressive or puts out too soon she's basically not "relationship material" (and who holds the power then if the girl was actually interested in the guy and is waiting for a call back that will never happen lol). Guys use girls for sex all the time, and while a guy might not mind being used for sex lol sadly for some/many girls their self-esteem can get wrapped up in it since obviously there's a lot more emphasis put on women's appearances in our society- we face a different type of competition. And for the girls who do make it past booty call status, who holds the power after all the swooning and "interviewing" as you put it is over and the guy who has been paying for all those expensive dates also controls most or all of the finances in the relationship? (depends on the situation of course but I'm sure you get what I'm saying).

It's all give and take.. Yeah attractive women can find sex and even money relatively easily if they really want to, but is it really worth it to be with someone you have no genuine connection with? Not in my opinion..

---

posted December 09, 2014 03:23 PM            

You know what, it is not easy for a woman to put herself out there, because it just isn't safe a lot of the time. Have you ever seen that Louis CK skit about women and dating? Leaving aside all this business about "sl*ts" (which, by the way, is the STUPIDEST f*****g CONCEPT EVER and is only employed to shame a woman for having a healthy sexual appetite), dating is a batshit insane game that you don't have to play. You just don't have to play it! If you truly wanted a worthwhile woman, you would stop judging everyone else and just go after the ones who agree with you. It's not that hard.

posted December 09, 2014 04:44 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by NeptunianSag:
Just waiting for a bad boy to sweep me off my feet, be ourselves and just live!

---

Don't give up, true love with a bad boy is out there! Here's a poem by one who found such a love:

The Story of Bonnie and Clyde

You've read the story of Jesse James
Of how he lived and died;
If you're still in need
Of something to read,
Here's the story of Bonnie and Clyde.

Now Bonnie and Clyde are the Barrow gang,
I'm sure you all have read
How they rob and steal
And those who squeal
Are usually found dying or dead.

There's lots of untruths to these write-ups;
They're not so ruthless as that;
Their nature is raw;
They hate all the law
The stool pigeons, spotters, and rats.

They call them cold-blooded killers;
They say they are heartless and mean;
But I say this with pride,
That I once knew Clyde
When he was honest and upright and clean.

But the laws fooled around,
Kept taking him down
And locking him up in a cell,
Till he said to me,
"I'll never be free,
So I'll meet a few of them in hell."

The road was so dimly lighted;
There were no highway signs to guide;
But they made up their minds
If all roads were blind,
They wouldn't give up till they died.

The road gets dimmer and dimmer;
Sometimes you can hardly see;
But it's fight, man to man,
And do all you can,
For they know they can never be free.

From heart-break some people have suffered;
From weariness some people have died;
But take it all in all,
Our troubles are small
Till we get like Bonnie and Clyde.

If a policeman is killed in Dallas,
And they have no clue or guide;
If they can't find a fiend,
They just wipe their slate clean
And hand it on Bonnie and Clyde.

There's two crimes committed in America
Not accredited to the Barrow mob;
They had no hand
In the kidnap demand,
Nor the Kansas City depot job.

A newsboy once said to his buddy;
"I wish old Clyde would get jumped;
In these awful hard times
We'd make a few dimes
If five or six cops would get bumped."

The police haven't got the report yet,
But Clyde called me up today;
He said, "Don't start any fights
We aren't working nights
We're joining the NRA."

From Irving to West Dallas viaduct
Is known as the Great Divide,
Where the women are kin,
And the men are men,
And they won't "stool" on Bonnie and Clyde.

If they try to act like citizens
And rent them a nice little flat,
About the third night
They're invited to fight
By a sub-gun's rat-tat-tat.

They don't think they're too tough or desperate,
They know that the law always wins;
They've been shot at before,
But they do not ignore
That death is the wages of sin.

Some day they'll go down together;
And they'll bury them side by side;
To few it'll be grief
To the law a relief
But it's death for Bonnie and Clyde.

-- Bonnie Parker

And I just recently saw them compared and contrasted to Romeo & Juliet in an ERBoH (and thus language warning):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV7xJ73_eeM

posted December 09, 2014 04:57 PM            

We both wish that we were an option, I think we'd be together for life. We already are, just in a platonic way.

posted December 09, 2014 05:35 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Pretty Theft:
Yes, women have all the power. That's why they get assaulted for refusing to give out their number to men. That's why walking down a busy city street and getting catcalled is a daily experience. That's why we get groped in the train.

You know what, it is not easy for a woman to put herself out there, because it just isn't safe a lot of the time. Have you ever seen that Louis CK skit about women and dating? Leaving aside all this business about "sl*ts" (which, by the way, is the STUPIDEST f*****g CONCEPT EVER and is only employed to shame a woman for having a healthy sexual appetite), dating is a batshit insane game that you don't have to play. You just don't have to play it! If you truly wanted a worthwhile woman, you would stop judging everyone else and just go after the ones who agree with you. It's not that hard.

Your sense of entitlement is mind-boggling. No wonder women aren't interested ... you appear to think of them as power tripping gold diggers. Good luck with that.

---

posted December 09, 2014 06:04 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
What I mean is I want a woman who meets me halfway in everything

---

Honest question...would this be an example of what you mean?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlVlJKSGdX4

In it Troi and Worf are dating...he chose the first place and then she decides where they're going to next. (That's not all it's about but that's the part I chose this scene for.) She asserts herself but isn't bossy or demanding about it (at least I didn't think so), and I don't think anyone would call her unfeminine for it. So I thought to ask, would that be an example of what you mean, where a woman takes part rather than waiting for the man to decide everything with her giving a "pass or fail" to whether he's psychic enough to know what she wants?

posted December 09, 2014 08:28 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
Honest question...would this be an example of what you mean?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlVlJKSGdX4

In it Troi and Worf are dating...he chose the first place and then she decides where they're going to next. (That's not all it's about but that's the part I chose this scene for.) She asserts herself but isn't bossy or demanding about it (at least I didn't think so), and I don't think anyone would call her unfeminine for it. So I thought to ask, would that be an example of what you mean, where a woman takes part rather than waiting for the man to decide everything with her giving a "pass or fail" to whether he's psychic enough to know what she wants?

If not, then can you describe what you mean with an example of what you'd like to see?

---

posted December 10, 2014 02:39 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
So angry. Lmao

---

posted December 10, 2014 02:47 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Pretty Theft:
It's okay boo. I was actually trying to help you, sort of. I just see this attitude all the time. If you start off from a place of resentment, you will not find anybody worth your time.

---

posted December 10, 2014 03:21 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I don't start off from a place of resentment because I know what I want and refuse to waste my time on anyone else. I have gotten to a point where I can easily spot the types that are bad for me.

---

posted December 10, 2014 12:49 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by I'm so cappy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysbauRz1ZXY

---

posted December 10, 2014 02:24 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
No, he's a Nordic alien, I think.

---