posted January 13, 2015 09:26 PM
My chart is so incredibly confusing lol. It's contradiction after contradiction. I have Saturn square Pluto. Pluto sextile both Jupiter and Neptune. As well as Saturn trine my Sun, Moon, Mercury and Asc. Pluto is exactly trine my MC. I also have a few minor Pluto aspects but I don't think they're as pronounced, to me anyway.
Like Pixie said, Saturn helps make see life for what it is. It's not all sugar plums and cotton candy, it's actually quite difficult and at many times unfair. I take it as it comes. I don't like sugar coating things. Despite having these feelings I'm very optimistic, quite positive.
I've always felt that I've had the burden of carrying everyone else's problems, except for my own of course, so for a person with as much optimism, it can be very difficult. I'm slowly learning to accept responsibility for my life and not the lives of others and it's not been easy.
Fighting negativity seems to be an everyday battle for me. My mind is quite dark at times and very manipulative, controlling it is a must. If I don't I'd be the biggest biatch with zero friends and many enemies.
I get lost in the clouds quite often buts it's more the deep, dark clouds. I am a deep thinker. I enjoy thoughts of what my future will be. I obsess over things that I can't control, it just irritates and drive me nuts when I'm not in control (I don't mean in control of other people just of myself). I think of ways to control the things that I can't lol. I enjoying guessing what others are thinking. I'm pretty weird and think about the weirdest, strangest things. My intuition is always spot on which makes reading people incredibly easy. I enjoy getting to know people, I'm friendly, but I enjoy reading people the most. I like making people squirm.
I strive for fairness, I want balance in my life, however control is where I thrive. I am a control freak, I said it. I despise feelings of weakness and/or vulnerability, they just don't sit very well for me. To be weak is to be vulnerable and I just can't allow myself to be that way.
I'm still learning to make myself sound less angry, but unfortunately a lot of the time my response to anyone here or even to a person irl, I come across so angry when I'm not. I'm passionate yes, angry no. I'm pretty bad with talking without a filter. I just can't stand restricting myself and tend to say things that I don't necessarily mean. If I did mean them they're always taken out of context.
I've always felt alien, completely foreign from everyone else. Making friends was and is never an issue however I never felt understood. The only people who've gotten me are my husband and Scorpio best friend.
Self-expression through music is HUGE to me. I have so much respect for so many artists. I enjoy all arts, specifically darker arts. Art with deep rooted meaning allows me access into the artist's mind. Who doesn't want into someone else's head?
I don't do well with those that intentionally hurt others for the hell of it. I can't stand when people play mind games with me. I don't handle deceit very well. Honesty and communication are huge to me, I can't stand people that preach to be "real" and are the farthest thing from it. Real people are honest people, people who don't give a ratsass what other's think. I value myself as being very real. I know what I want and get it.