posted January 25, 2015 12:08 AM            

I always hear that this placement can become clingy & attached, but the ones I've known didn't come off that way. Anyway would they agree to being in a friends with benefits situation & avoid becoming attached? Does it depend on the gender of the person in general?

posted January 25, 2015 12:20 AM            

I think if I didn't come to a realization that I've never had a real serious relationship before and actually wanted to try one, I probably still be in that friends with benefits relationship with him. I did not develop any feelings for him and I wasn't clingy or too attached.

But then again, I'm a Gemini rising and I have Venus in the 3rd house and Mars in the 5th. These placements are known for casual relationships.

I personally think the only time Cancer moons get clingy is when we feel insecure about our place in someone's life (the people that we care about). I know this because it happened to me. Other than that, I think most Cancer moons are easy going and not exactly the stereotypical crybabies we are portrayed as.

posted January 25, 2015 01:05 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
Lmfao I'm a Cancer moon and I just recently got out of a friends with benefits relationship. I can say for myself I was okay with it for a while, but I realized I wanted something serious and wanted to stop fooling around. So I told my friend I wanted out. He agreed.

I think if I didn't come to a realization that I've never had a real serious relationship before and actually wanted to try one, I probably still be in that friends with benefits relationship with him. I did not develop any feelings for him and I wasn't clingy or too attached.

But then again, I'm a Gemini rising and I have Venus in the 3rd house and Mars in the 5th. These placements are known for casual relationships.

I personally think the only time Cancer moons get clingy is when we feel insecure about our place in someone's life (the people that we care about). I know this because it happened to me. Other than that, I think most Cancer moons are easy going and not exactly the stereotypical crybabies we are portrayed as.

It also all depends on other placements in the chart. I would check his 5th house because that's the house that governs romance and casual sex.

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posted January 25, 2015 01:27 AM            

quote:

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Would a cancer moon, realistically be able to handle a friends with benefits situation?

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Nope. Not the men. Not the women. They are the least able to handle this situation in the whole zodiac. Not only would they dislike the idea but they would tell all of their relatives and mutual friends how much of a jerk the person who suggested FWB is.

posted January 25, 2015 01:36 AM            

The only time in my life I was willing to accept this arrangement was when I was so insecure I didn't think I could get what I really wanted, which was commitment and security. I'm not judging this type of arrangement, but the only time I accepted it was when there was something out of balance inside.

I also remember that when I was young, it was frowned on to actually have feelings, so I pretended not to. Solar_Leo_Queen explained why she might have been able to manage it. However, I think in most cases, you'll get a Cancer that says no, or if they say yes, they might have some things to work out, which isn't great for you.

posted January 25, 2015 02:02 AM            

So in terms of a man what if his moon squared his Libra sun & he had Venus in Scorpio Rx/ Mars in scorpio widely conjuncting Uranus? Would that change the circumstances?

posted January 25, 2015 02:48 AM            

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Originally posted by Gemini30:
How does having Venus in the 3rd house lead to casual sex? I haven't found anything on that.

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It's in the house of Gemini. It can cause someone to take relationships casually. That means sex can also become casual.

Your friend has Uranus conjunct Venus and Mars right? Uranian influence on sexual planets can make someone a little more detached than usual. You say he's also a Libra sun and has it square his moon. That sounds to me like someone who doesn't know what they want.

See, my other friend has Venus in Aquarius. That placement is another casual placement. But his Venus is in the 8th house and Scorpio rules the 5th and Pluto sits there as well, so he takes relationships VERY seriously. He's a Cancer moon as well. His Aries sun/mercury is square his moon. He cheated on his girlfriend when he wasn't getting "enough" love.

posted January 25, 2015 03:51 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
It's in the house of Gemini. It can cause someone to take relationships casually. That means sex can also become casual.

Your friend has Uranus conjunct Venus and Mars right? Uranian influence on sexual planets can make someone a little more detached than usual. You say he's also a Libra sun and has it square his moon. That sounds to me like someone who doesn't know what they want.

See, my other friend has Venus in Aquarius. That placement is another casual placement. But his Venus is in the 8th house and Scorpio rules the 5th and Pluto sits there as well, so he takes relationships VERY seriously. He's a Cancer moon as well. His Aries sun/mercury is square his moon. He cheated on his girlfriend when he wasn't getting "enough" love.

Like I said, other placements matter.

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I def think the uranus conjunctions to mars & venus matter. Also the sun & moon square would make a person confused I think.

posted January 25, 2015 12:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
I think Mars/Venus in air would make them be more open to a casual sex arrangement.

But if the Venus/Mars is in Cancer/Scorpio or contacts Pluto,there could be come issues with that.

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Hmm, then why would they agree to such an arrangement in the first place? Unless it's that sun square moon thing coming into play...

posted January 25, 2015 01:58 PM            

She's virgo sun, CANCER MOON, Cancer venus and aries mars. We dated six months ago, but i never figured out EXACTLY why we stopped seing eachother (i'll make a future topic so you guys can help me out :P)

But the point is, after a month we were dating i told her i tought she was in love with me (because of many evidences - which i may have misunderstood) and now she was getting distant in a forcefull manner (looked like). She answered something like this "If i'm not in love with you, i'll distance myself, if i'm in love with you, i'll also distance myself".

posted January 25, 2015 02:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by babybull82:
Would a cancer moon, realistically be able to handle a friends with benefits situation?

I always hear that this placement can become clingy & attached, but the ones I've known didn't come off that way. Anyway would they agree to being in a friends with benefits situation & avoid becoming attached? Does it depend on the gender of the person in general?

I feel like a man even with this placement would be ok with this sort of arrangement...what do you think?

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posted January 25, 2015 02:23 PM            

Lol....sorry to laugh, but you could have had that very same conversation with me 10-15 years ago.

If you guys were having a lighthearted conversation and you were wrong, she would have kept it light, and played around.

But because you were right, she freaked out. And she freaked out because of the formula you used.

It doesn't matter what the exact words you said were or how you said them. It was the formula you used.

You're in love with me minus I'm in love with you equals Cancer running away.

If you know a Cancer loves you, and you love them too, just tell the Cancer you love them. Every dating scheme and tactic in the book will backfire with a Cancer. The best tactic is to be blunt, I think.

posted January 25, 2015 02:25 PM            

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Originally posted by Odette:
Nope. Not the men. Not the women. They are the least able to handle this situation in the whole zodiac. Not only would they dislike the idea but they would tell all of their relatives and mutual friends how much of a jerk the person who suggested FWB is.

They would have to have something that completely contradicts their Cancer Moon, in their natal chart... to even consider this. Something really significant like a retrograde Aries Venus opposite a Mars/Uranus conjunction as well as an Aquarius or Sagittarius Sun... It would have to overshadow the Cancer Moon.

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So true, as usual, Odette

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posted January 25, 2015 02:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by venus2tinkerbell:
@ Piscesearthed

Lol....sorry to laugh, but you could have had that very same conversation with me 10-15 years ago.

If you guys were having a lighthearted conversation and you were wrong, she would have kept it light, and played around.

But because you were right, she freaked out. And she freaked out because of the formula you used.

It doesn't matter what the exact words you said were or how you said them. It was the formula you used.

You're in love with me minus I'm in love with you equals Cancer running away.

If you know a Cancer loves you, and you love them too, just tell the Cancer you love them. Every dating scheme and tactic in the book will backfire with a Cancer. The best tactic is to be blunt, I think.

Edit: If you think a Cancer loves you and you're straightforward with them, and THAT backfires, either you were wrong and they don't love you or that Cancer still has some things to figure out. Best to let 'em be.

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posted January 25, 2015 04:32 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GypseeWind:
This is how my relationship with soon to be ex hubby started. He's the Cancer Moon. I was going through a divorce and wanted nothing to do with any kind of relationship. I wrote up a FWB contract and made him sign it. Haha. He still has it! I probably would of been fine going on that way for years, but he wasnt.
He also is a cap with cap venus and after about a year he started demanding the relationship to be formalized.

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Hmm..well I might as well put it out there that I'm talking about a man I'm currently dealing with. We met & things moved fast..sexually. We have a lot in common & at the very least can be friends. I'm at a point in my life where I will ask a man straight up what type of situation we're in.

Last weekend I asked him if he'd like to just be platonic friends because he'd say things that made me think that's all he wanted from me. He said it was up to me & that he's too busy with work for anything serious so "I" suggested we continue on as fwb and he said he was cool with that. So that's where we are now.

My thing is in my mind since this isn't a formal commitment I am (and so is he) free to continue talking to other people. Not necessarily have sex with other people but keeping my options open & when this no longer suits me I can leave & so can he. My thing is will he see it this way too or will he be offended if he thought I was still talking to other people?

Thus why I'm asking how a cancer moon (men specifically) operate.

posted January 25, 2015 05:48 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by venus2tinkerbell:
@ Piscesearthed

Lol....sorry to laugh, but you could have had that very same conversation with me 10-15 years ago.

If you guys were having a lighthearted conversation and you were wrong, she would have kept it light, and played around.

But because you were right, she freaked out. And she freaked out because of the formula you used.

It doesn't matter what the exact words you said were or how you said them. It was the formula you used.

You're in love with me minus I'm in love with you equals Cancer running away.

If you know a Cancer loves you, and you love them too, just tell the Cancer you love them. Every dating scheme and tactic in the book will backfire with a Cancer. The best tactic is to be blunt, I think.

Edit: If you think a Cancer loves you and you're straightforward with them, and THAT backfires, either you were wrong and they don't love you or that Cancer still has some things to figure out. Best to let 'em be.

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Btw, after she cut me off, she fully ignored me, and when sometimes we saw eachother she would be rude to me. Okay. So sometime ago i met her by chance (only cause she had to do something with me on work) and i asked her "How long will you be avoiding me?" She replied "I'm not avoiding you... anymore" (this anymore was something that she let out kinda unconsciouly.

posted January 25, 2015 07:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GypseeWind:
Hi babybull, I think he would say he's alright with it, but probably not be alright with it.
At least that's how it went down for me.
My ex would follow me places. We had a tight circle of friends and he would sometimes hear in advance about where I was going and with who, and then show up there, and basically intimidate the person until they left. But this probably has more to do with his pluto stuff. Also where is his moon placed and what aspects does it make? My ex had cancer moon in the 7th, so he's always been very partner oriented, much more so than career oriented. Also he has moon opp sun, which made him difficult to read a lot of times. You have to go by their actions more than words with cancer moon men, Imo.

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Well after we had this conversation we hung out that night and then I didn't hear from him for two days. I then initiated contact and we've talked sporadically. I mean I see him still logging on to his account (we met on OKC) so I assumed he's still exploring his options as well and he's ok with it. He's a Libra ascendant which puts his moon in the 10th and his moon is squaring his sun in libra, trines his mercury, venus, mars, and uranus in Scorpio in the 2nd house. His moon widely squares his pluto that's placed in the first.

So if I were to deduce from his moon being in his 10th and all of those planets clustered in the 2nd his focus is heavily on making money and working. Which is why I think he's ok with fwb as relationships aren't his primary focus.

posted January 25, 2015 07:04 PM            

Pisces, I think your girl REALLY likes you, and it is a question of "deal or no deal"

I say that since you pursued her and it worked. I like your style, btw. You need to stop reminding her that she likes you. I know it just seems like normal conversation between normal adult people. Not so, when Cancer loves you. You need to stop reminding her that she likes you, and just tell her how much you like her. Seems unfair, imbalanced... but it sounds like she's already pretty serious (you know for sure in your gut if that's true), and once she lets you in (all the way in), if you're the type that can appreciate a Cancer woman, you should be well cared for. "Deal or no deal", that's the question she's not asking but wants an answer to. The big C word... committment...

I will add though that she sounds a little immature (and immaturity is a part of living), so she'll need constant reassurance that you love her.

Babybull...It sounds like your Cancer is wounded... Or he might be using you, which is my definition of fwb when dealing with a Cancer type (if it were an Aqua I wouldn't say he was using you). It could be that he's really not interested or he is holding out for someone else. When I say holding out, I mean he is not letting himself get involved emotionally in case someone else comes back around. It's the conversation you had last weekend that makes me say that.

I wouldn't want this arrangement with this particular man, from what you've described.

But if you still want to go for it this would be my advice. If a man doesn't love you, and you're still ok to be involved, the next best thing is to be valued by the man. It's not quite the same thing as a man calling you his friend. So I think your question about seeing other people is a good and thoughtful one.

Even if your Cancer doesn't love you, he will be impressed by you being a lady. I would just be forthcoming with him. I'd tell him that since you are friends with benefits you are going to continue seeing other people. Tell him as soon as you become serious about someone and want to take it beyond the platonic level you will end your arrangement with him. He won't appreciate you sleeping with other people while sleeping with him. He might say he's ok, but that is VERY unlikely. He might even sleep with other women. You have to decide if you can handle that. It's not fair, but I don't think this type of arrangement is natural for a Cancer, and so a Cancer cannot understand fairness in this type of arrangement. I am giving you the advice I'm giving you so that in the end you come out on top. You have this arrangement with this man, find the man who loves you, and leave this arrangement with this man still respecting you, and maybe even regretting...

The thing is, when you tell him where you stand about seeing other people, you have to be sure that it sounds like (and it is) you telling him how you are and that's it. It can't sound like you're asking him for anything.

posted January 25, 2015 07:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by venus2tinkerbell:
I don't know why I feel the need to apologize on behalf of all Cancers to you Piscesearthed and you Babybull. I'm so sorry

Pisces, I think your girl REALLY likes you, and it is a question of "deal or no deal"

I say that since you pursued her and it worked. I like your style, btw. You need to stop reminding her that she likes you. I know it just seems like normal conversation between normal adult people. Not so, when Cancer loves you. You need to stop reminding her that she likes you, and just tell her how much you like her. Seems unfair, imbalanced... but it sounds like she's already pretty serious (you know for sure in your gut if that's true), and once she lets you in (all the way in), if you're the type that can appreciate a Cancer woman, you should be well cared for. "Deal or no deal", that's the question she's not asking but wants an answer to. The big C word... committment...

I will add though that she sounds a little immature (and immaturity is a part of living), so she'll need constant reassurance that you love her.

Babybull...It sounds like your Cancer is wounded... Or he might be using you, which is my definition of fwb when dealing with a Cancer type (if it were an Aqua I wouldn't say he was using you). It could be that he's really not interested or he is holding out for someone else. When I say holding out, I mean he is not letting himself get involved emotionally in case someone else comes back around. It's the conversation you had last weekend that makes me say that.

I wouldn't want this arrangement with this particular man, from what you've described.

But if you still want to go for it this would be my advice. If a man doesn't love you, and you're still ok to be involved, the next best thing is to be valued by the man. It's not quite the same thing as a man calling you his friend. So I think your question about seeing other people is a good and thoughtful one.

Even if your Cancer doesn't love you, he will be impressed by you being a lady. I would just be forthcoming with him. I'd tell him that since you are friends with benefits you are going to continue seeing other people. Tell him as soon as you become serious about someone and want to take it beyond the platonic level you will end your arrangement with him. He won't appreciate you sleeping with other people while sleeping with him. He might say he's ok, but that is VERY unlikely. He might even sleep with other women. You have to decide if you can handle that. It's not fair, but I don't think this type of arrangement is natural for a Cancer, and so a Cancer cannot understand fairness in this type of arrangement. I am giving you the advice I'm giving you so that in the end you come out on top. You have this arrangement with this man, find the man who loves you, and leave this arrangement with this man still respecting you, and maybe even regretting...

The thing is, when you tell him where you stand about seeing other people, you have to be sure that it sounds like (and it is) you telling him how you are and that's it. It can't sound like you're asking him for anything.

Okay. that's it for me tonight. i have so much work to do and have been totally procrastinating on LL!!!

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I appreciate your advice but I can't see how he's using me if I'm the one who came up with the arrangement and have the understanding that these types of arrangements means I'm free to see who I want. If anything I come out looking like the user here because I'm NOT requiring anything serious from him and am still exploring my options. We have stuff in common we have a good time hanging out and that's that. I was just curious if these types of men are really into that given all of the stereotypes that are out there about this moon placement.

Also it'd be silly for him to get upset about me keeping my options open while he's doing the same thing..it doesn't work that way lol well not in the real world.

posted January 25, 2015 08:01 PM            

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