posted April 25, 2015 03:36 PM            

After a long 5 months, the other roommate and I moved into a place of our own; however, that living situation turned sour too. Though I treated this person with kindness, he often misinterpreted my intentions and became toxic to my well-being. He's fully aware of my history of sexual abuse and depression, and continues to (low-key) bully me to this day. He once confessed to me that he had romantic feelings for me during the beginning of our friendship, but I was never interested in reciprocating them. Could that be an underlying cause for his mistreatment toward me? (I moved across the country after another 5 months with him, by the way.)

It's interesting to note that each roommate has a Leo Sun opposite my Aquarius Sun. Could these relationships be the result of bad synastry, or was past-life karma at work? Do oppositions typically play out in such a good-to-bad/love-to-hate fashion?

Because these people also entered my life after the height of my depression, did I attract them due to the negative energy that I subconsciously put out into the world?

Why do toxic people enter our lives? I'd be interested to read your thoughts on the matter!

posted April 25, 2015 05:49 PM            

Have you ever lived with anyone else - other than these two people? (Outside family)

I ask because - personally I couldn't live with anyone.
I tried doing the roommate thing with my very best friend at the time - really awesome girl - but even with her she ended up getting on my nerves.
I just can't deal with people in my space. I really enjoy living alone.

posted April 25, 2015 05:53 PM            

It takes more than simply opposite Suns to account for what you've described.

The general answer as to why toxic people cross our paths is that there are toxic people in the world. There is no point in wondering 'Why me?' -- or in blaming yourself. I understand you are just looking to understand how you could end up under the same roof with not one, but two of these.

Let's put it this way... if you want to change who and what you attract, then you be the one to analyze your pattern and you decide what you don't like about it and then you can decide how you want to change it. This isn't a matter of right or wrong, or 'bad' karma. Just look at how you can change the pattern to produce one that will give you better results. Learning your own astrological birth chart in-depth might help with that, but its not necessary.

Just make sure you heal. People who are healing attract healers and others who are healing. Sometimes I think people escape a bad early life home situation and are just relieved its over. They don't necessarily heal, so the pattern of relational dynamics extends, because at that point it is automatic.

Its just about intentional change, not because anything is wrong about you, but because you know you deserve better.

posted April 25, 2015 06:35 PM            

@Odette: No, I lived on my own for almost 2 years before my finances encouraged me to seek a cheaper housing situation. I know that I function best by myself because I, too, like my own space; but I had to bite the bullet to cut my finances in half.

@Kannon: Thank you for your insight, Kannon! I'm going to have to read your post a few times over to really let it sink in.

I'm beginning to make positive changes in my life, so I hope to attract more positive beings and experiences. I've been wearing smoky quartz for almost a week now, and received my ruby necklace yesterday!

posted April 25, 2015 08:12 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by CupOfDavid:
[b]@Unknown: Sure! My chart is in my signature.

@Odette: No, I lived on my own for almost 2 years before my finances encouraged me to seek a cheaper housing situation. I know that I function best by myself because I, too, like my own space; but I had to bite the bullet to cut my finances in half.

@Kannon: Thank you for your insight, Kannon! I'm going to have to read your post a few times over to really let it sink in.

I'm beginning to make positive changes in my life, so I hope to attract more positive beings and experiences. I've been wearing smoky quartz for almost a week now, and received my ruby necklace yesterday!

[/B]

---

posted April 26, 2015 02:18 AM            

But uhm your Mars opposite pluto can indicate some level of projection.

Generally though, I don't find friendships work with housemates, regardless of aspects. Especially since you are both plutonian and saturnian and that means you are very much a loner.

mars in 4th indicates your needs to be independent in home life so you need lots of space. You jupiter opposite you moon indicates some overly optimistic tendency.

I find plutonic people to best live with strangers ( ) that's a note for myself too.

posted April 26, 2015 02:51 AM            

Saturn-Neptune in the 1H can have a tendency to carry the shadow projections of other people. I think you're also highly sensitive to negativity in your environment, so it's very important in your case to be discriminating about the people around you.

I would also look at what I spend time thinking about. I've said this before, but it bears repeating. What we think, feel, imagine, speak, and enact aligns us with like forces. I think also a factor is what you pick up from your environment and other people.

Third, sometimes, encountering negative people and situations where we feel powerless or out of control is so that we claim or reclaim our personal power. I think that's what the Sun square Pluto and maybe the t-square is about.

The good news is that the Saturn transit to your Moon is past. Saturn will retrograde back into Scorpio this year but won't conjunct the Moon.

posted April 26, 2015 04:30 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by theunknown:
Leo placements might create a grand cross in your chart. That can turn nasty.

---

@Peony: I always appreciate your thoughts, Peony.

Depression makes it hard for me to love myself. Some days, I think, "You know what, David -- you're alright," but the last 24 hours have been tough. I'm sure I'll get to a loving place eventually.

I wonder if Saturn and Neptune, along with Uranus, make for abrupt, negative endings to personal and professional relationships. Because I've had significant relationships fall apart due to factors that are either insignificant or beyond my control.

posted April 26, 2015 06:21 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by astra7:
I don't think it's fire sign dominant chart or grand trines. It probably down to synastry.
I've had situation like this...not in living condition but people who I thought was on my side e.g. friend but turned out to be nightmare. I soon cut ties completely, left the community. Life is too short to trying to fix it if fundamental vibes don't hum together well. Plenty more fish out there so why worry!?

---

posted April 26, 2015 10:48 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by CupOfDavid:
Could a grand cross ever be a positive aspect? A recent fling had his Sun opposite mine, and that relationship didn't work out either; though, his Venus was also conjunct my Chiron.

---

CupOfDavid, I think LeeLoo over at Interpersonal Astrology has talked about the Grand Cross in synastry in positive terms. You may want to ask your question there.

I'll just mention in passing that Leo and the 8H are opposite the focal point of your t-square, which is the Sun. By developing the qualities of the sign and in the areas signified by the 8H is how you resolve the t-square and bring balance and stability to your life. I think Leo and the 8H means getting to know yourself at a deep level. And guess what, the timing couldn't be better. You have Jupiter transiting your 8H right now. It's a good time for healing also. I don't think you can define yourself through other people. It has to come from within.

quote:

---

Depression makes it hard for me to love myself. Some days, I think, "You know what, David -- you're alright," but the last 24 hours have been tough. I'm sure I'll get to a loving place eventually.

---

I'm sorry. I hope there's someone nearby who is giving you support right now.

quote:

---

I wonder if Saturn and Neptune, along with Uranus, make for abrupt, negative endings to personal and professional relationships. Because I've had significant relationships fall apart due to factors that are either insignificant or beyond my control.

---

No, I think it's Mercury, ruler of your 7H square Mars, which opposes Pluto, and that brings in the t-square.

quote:

---

My current living situation (with my parents) isn't helpful, but I'm broke and without a job, so I have to stay where I am. I feel inhibited by my parents every day, but sadly, I'm at the mercy of my depression.

---

Are you wearing the ruby necklace? I think a stable, quiet living environment with no drama is important right now. Do you at least have that where you are? The best situation I ever had was living in a cabin out in the country in exchange for 10 hours a week helping out an elderly couple who lived on the property. Are there situations like that - work exchange for living space - in your area? Just a thought...

posted April 27, 2015 02:24 PM            

"Mozart?" Depardieu asked, surprised.

"Mozart," Tomatis declared.

Although skeptical, Depardieu returned the next day. After a few sessions, Depardieu started to see positive changes in his daily life. His appetite and sleep improved and he had more energy. After a few months, Depardieu returned to acting school with new poise and confidence. The rest as they say is history.

This story is from Don Campbell's "The Mozart Effect."

posted April 27, 2015 08:00 PM            

Thanks, Peony. I never thought of the eighth house to be that important, so I'll be sure to pay more attention to and study up on it.

Yep, I've been wearing the ruby necklace since Friday evening.

My living environment is stable, but definitely not quiet. My parents bring out the worst in me and I hardly ever get time to be alone with my own energy. You know, it's funny -- when I moved out of my parents' house a few years ago, I lost a lot of weight and since I've been back, I've gained 15 pounds. And I read somewhere that empaths -- I believe that I may be one -- gain weight to subconsciously defend themselves against negativity.

quote:

---

Originally posted by peony:
The best situation I ever had was living in a cabin out in the country in exchange for 10 hours a week helping out an elderly couple who lived on the property. Are there situations like that - work exchange for living space - in your area? Just a thought...

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by peony:
CupOfDavid, I want to tell you about Gerard Depardieu...

---

posted April 28, 2015 01:19 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by CupOfDavid:
Yep, I've been wearing the ruby necklace since Friday evening.

---

quote:

---

And I read somewhere that empaths -- I believe that I may be one --

---

Yes, this is what I was alluding to when I was talking about your sensitivity and picking up on your environment.

quote:

---

...gain weight to subconsciously defend themselves against negativity.

---

Makes sense...also in cases of sexual abuse.

quote:

---

Well, I'll be! That's very interesting, Peony. I just downloaded "The Best Of Mozart," so I'll certainly give it a whirl. Thank you!

---

You are a telepath. "The Best of Mozart" is exactly what I was thinking!

quote:

---

Originally posted by theunknown:
Leo placements might create a grand cross in your chart. That can turn nasty.

---

posted April 28, 2015 01:32 PM            

Remember when I was talking to you about TEMPO and the kind of music to listen to like "Quest for Glory?"

Here's another great example, this time, rock:

Led Zeppelin Bron Yr Aur Live
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zISiQ6PqATI

posted April 28, 2015 04:31 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by CupOfDavid:
In 2014, I entered into a living situation with 2 people who were seemingly good, at first, but later turned into toxic beings. I describe the first person as "the worst person I've ever met." All of her major placements (with the exception of Neptune, Pluto, and her MH) are in fire signs, and she has several grand trines in her chart, if that's important. Only twice have I ever come close to having a panic attack, and both instances involved conversations with this particular person.

After a long 5 months, the other roommate and I moved into a place of our own; however, that living situation turned sour too. Though I treated this person with kindness, he often misinterpreted my intentions and became toxic to my well-being. He's fully aware of my history of sexual abuse and depression, and continues to (low-key) bully me to this day. He once confessed to me that he had romantic feelings for me during the beginning of our friendship, but I was never interested in reciprocating them. Could that be an underlying cause for his mistreatment toward me? (I moved across the country after another 5 months with him, by the way.)

It's interesting to note that each roommate has a Leo Sun opposite my Aquarius Sun. Could these relationships be the result of bad synastry, or was past-life karma at work? Do oppositions typically play out in such a good-to-bad/love-to-hate fashion?

Because these people also entered my life after the height of my depression, did I attract them due to the negative energy that I subconsciously put out into the world?

Why do toxic people enter our lives? I'd be interested to read your thoughts on the matter!

David

---

Whoa! My ex is to me the most toxic person ever alongside my Dad
Leo sun opp Aqua
Leo sun

I know it's about more than that but it's interesting!

posted April 29, 2015 12:57 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by peony:
I'm a Leo Sun/ASC opposing your Sun. We're not all bad.

---

The song kept my attention because it's a toe-tapper, at first. I'll add it to the playlist I've created on YouTube for third chakra songs.

posted April 29, 2015 04:41 AM            

Have you ever looked into Human Design?
It's supposedly a combination of astrology, i-ching, and a few other schools of thought. It's worth looking into, because it explains our energetic make up, and how to manage it. I think it's especially helpful for empaths (I believe I may be one as well), because it shows how to recognise whether the emotions you're feeling are your own or not. The same goes for thoughts, sense of urgency and pressure, sense of identity, willpower. I strongly recommend it - it does not substitute astrology, but when it comes to managing your own energy and the response to your environment (something I've been struggling with for years), I've found it to be very helpful

Oh and just 1 thing to add in relation to grand crosses,

posted May 01, 2015 12:28 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by SaturnFan:
Hey CupOfDavid,

Have you ever looked into Human Design?
It's supposedly a combination of astrology, i-ching, and a few other schools of thought. It's worth looking into, because it explains our energetic make up, and how to manage it. I think it's especially helpful for empaths (I believe I may be one as well), because it shows how to recognise whether the emotions you're feeling are your own or not. The same goes for thoughts, sense of urgency and pressure, sense of identity, willpower. I strongly recommend it - it does not substitute astrology, but when it comes to managing your own energy and the response to your environment (something I've been struggling with for years), I've found it to be very helpful

---

SaturnFan, I haven't heard of Human Design, but it sounds interesting. And thank you for your kind words.

posted May 03, 2015 09:33 AM            

When we come to what reasons might be for such an experience: Transit Pluto is in my 6th house and conjuncts my Neptune,squares my Sun/Jupiter/NN conjunction.This toxic person (almost 50 years old) had 4 planets in Pisces. I have Pisces Venus and Mercury in 8th house. Her south node was on my moon (29 degree) To that time she was having South Node conjunction SN. (Also transit SN was conjuncting my moon and mars in 10th house) I don't know her birth time but I assume she is Leo ASC with moon pluto conjunction there,looking at how Leo-like she behaved. I am the best secretary ever, I am this I am that. I have Leo Asc as well, so all her Pisces stellium goes to my 8th house. No wonder, how she picked me up so quickly and did not want the other co-worker. She made a good profit from her as well, but that is another story. I believe, I had to experience this in this work place and take some lessons. It was kind of life lesson. Now I am so afraid of my next job, if same would happen again. Because I know if it would be again, it would happen all the same way and I would not stand up.

posted May 03, 2015 11:34 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by SaturnFan:
Hey CupOfDavid,

Have you ever looked into Human Design?
It's supposedly a combination of astrology, i-ching, and a few other schools of thought. It's worth looking into, because it explains our energetic make up, and how to manage it. I think it's especially helpful for empaths (I believe I may be one as well), because it shows how to recognise whether the emotions you're feeling are your own or not. The same goes for thoughts, sense of urgency and pressure, sense of identity, willpower. I strongly recommend it - it does not substitute astrology, but when it comes to managing your own energy and the response to your environment (something I've been struggling with for years), I've found it to be very helpful

---

Hey Saturn,

I haven't heard of the human design, but just went to check it out. Pulled my chart, and it totally resonates to how my relationships and the challenges i have with others!

Was wondering if you know how to read the chart itself with all the triangles, planets etc?

posted May 03, 2015 11:40 PM            

You are on the right path David by wanting to seek awareness of your issues and how to heal them (Knowing Thyself). Awareness is key.. like someone said above, see the patterns and shift it. I had issues as well with toxic people in my life. Again, what another said above, do you care and love yourself? It all starts within. Create healthy boundaries for yourself, this way you are able to place awareness which energies are yours and which aren't! It will also help build your self love, care and confidence. Empathy is a challenging balance. The best solution for me is to totally cut off the people in my life -- even if you think they owe you something etc. Its best to cut your loses rather than having to sit there and play the back and forth game.

I cannot tell you much about your charts etc, but I can share my experiences and how i grew from it.

Wishing you lots of love on your growth and self development journey!

posted May 04, 2015 05:53 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by bluestskies88:
Hey Saturn,

I haven't heard of the human design, but just went to check it out. Pulled my chart, and it totally resonates to how my relationships and the challenges i have with others!

Was wondering if you know how to read the chart itself with all the triangles, planets etc?

---

I'm very happy you found it useful, bluestskies88! It was truly eye-opening to me and I researched it throughout a full year (in 2014), after it made me aware that I had suffered burnout without even knowing it.

I'm happy to explain anything you want to know, and will briefly lay out the basics below, plus include a link to a book you can download online. If you have any other questions do let me know and I'll happily open a separate thread for that

The 9 triangles in your chart show your energy centres and correspond with the chakras.

Each energy centre corresponds with a specific function. From top to bottom:
* Head (top triangle) = ideas, inspiration, pressure to translate experiences
* Ajna (second triangle) = Mind, Mental awareness, Cognitive power
* Throat = Manifestation and expresison
* Identity centre (diamond-shaped figure in the centre of the chart) = sense of identity and self, sense of direction in life
* Heart (small rectangle right next to the identity centre) = willpower, commitment
* Sacral centre (second to last rectangle) = life-force, power for sustainable activity, sexual energy
* Root centre (last rectangle) = Kundalini energy, balance between fear and trust
* Solar Plexus (triangle on your right hand side) = Emotions
* Spleen (triangle on your left hand side) = Intuition, awareness in The Now

When you pull your chart, some of these centres will be coloured (=defined) or white (=undefined).
- Defined energy centres show where you have sustainable source of this particular energy, and you emit this to the outside world. It's always with you, and unique to you.
- Undefined energy centres show where you receive energy from the outside world, and amplify it. It's not your own, but you experience it as your own unless you are very self-aware. These energy centres open up countless and countless possibilities for growth.

For example if you have a defined Ajna centre, you'll be very fixed in your way of thinking and processing information. Once you arrive at an opinion or a belief, it will be next to impossible for someone to convince you otherwise and they would only be able to do so if they present you with indisputable evidence. If you have an undefined Ajna centre, you could be the type of person who changes their mind all the time, can never defend their own position, gets easily confused. The potential
here is that this type of person is capable of seeing and understanding any point of view, can see all sides of an argument, even be sensible to thoughts which people do not articulate clearly. So with an undefined Ajna centre you don't need to identify with each thought/ point of view, but acknowledge it and respect it nonetheless. It's the same logic behind all other energy centres. The Solar Plexus centre is about emotions - I have an undefined Solar Plexus, and I could be feeling incredibly happy until someone with a defined Solar Plexus and in a very bad mood walks in and within seconds my mood also goes down. Both my mother and brother have a defined Solar Plexus, and I've been picking up their emotions all my life without knowing it. So now after researching Human Design I'm at least able to not identify with these emotional waves, and this is sparing me a lot of inner confusion

The numbers represent Gates, and this is taking it one level deeper. Each Gate carries its own energy but the logic is the same - a defined gate is something you have constant access to, an undefined gate is where you receive energy from your environment. I'd recommend familiarising yourself with the 9 centres first, and then when you dive into the Gates it will be much easier.

Here's the book I mentioned above:

Human Design - Parkyn Chetan

If you have any other questions do let me know - will be happy to open another thread for this

quote:

---

Originally posted by peony:
SaturnFan, I haven't heard of Human Design, but it sounds interesting.

---

Peony,

If you ever find the time or find yourself in the mood to check it I'll be very, very interested to know what you think, since you already have so much knowledge of all the schools of thought which Human Design claims to be combining

CupOfDavid,

posted May 04, 2015 09:32 AM            

I have been reading a few articles about it last night before bed, and i was sitting here thinking -- this all MAKE SENSE! I am a Projector, and it says that I have to wait to be invited and be recognized in order to feel my power and value.... gosh, this is SO TRUE! my mind went back to all the moments I didn't wait to be invited and or recognized and valued for my gifts and invested my energies to this and that person and experiences, I got very sick and exhausted!

Another thing about this is what you mentioned on your above thread about the chart. I have an undefined solar plexus, root and sacral chakras... AND i would ALWAYS feel a shift in my energies all the time when i am around people and or a crowd -- it was very overwhelming. I am pretty much aware now, after much much inner work and researching insights about empathy, boundaries etc... Like you, i would carry and feel other people's fears, emotions, sexual energies etc! ... it was too too much. that is why i have built healthy boundaries so i am able to stand firm in my own energies.

I do want to continue our dialogue without having to derail David's thread... perhaps we can start a new one?

Again, THANK YOU so much for your time and insights .. much appreciated!

P.S. --

Listening to this Projector lecture by John Martin. He mentioned that the important thing that others look for in a Projector are their undefined open centers.. and not so much the colored defined ones. So for example, i have an undefined solar plexus, like i mentioned above, why would someone outside myself look for that?