posted October 31, 2015 02:24 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sylven:
Wow, wow, wow, Lioness!!! This is a very tough situation!! I don't know you but that never matters to me. I care ((((hugs))))! Apart from the accident and the realisations about work/kids the realisation that no one cares on top of it makes it even harder. Maybe even unbearable for some but you made the conscious choice, a very strong person to do this! Like Kannon said, I congratulate you! I'd like you to say that there are people who care for you living on this planet (or somewhere else), they might not be known to you now.

Warm hugs to you and good luck with therapy! Your new life will be awesome!!

---

posted October 31, 2015 07:55 PM            

I empathize with everything you said. I did go through something very similar a few years ago, and I remember feeling all of those same feelings. It was when my youngest child was born. Due to complications from the delivery, a week after her birth, I was rushed to the emergency room with massive internal hemorrhaging. I lost an insane amount of blood and almost died. I had to be given multiple units of blood, and they said I barely made it, but thankfully, I did.

The hardest part of it, though, was the emotional pain I felt when I realized the same things you did, that there was an acute lack of care from the people in my life. It seemed like me almost dying was nowhere near as scary to them as I had thought it might be, and it threw me off balance emotionally. Just like you, I was thrown into a cold, hard face-to-face meeting with reality, and the reality was that I had thrown myself away.

The realization grew larger and larger within me that I had spent so many years "giving my all" to everyone else that I had given none to myself. My 12th house Sun-Venus-Mars-Mercury and Virgo Moon had just martyred themselves for all those years. It never occurred to me that the sacrifices I had made would go unnoticed or unappreciated. 12th house, duh, I should've figured that one out.

It did spark a new growth within me, though, and it was a good one. I began to develop a healthier sense of ego and self, and I began to balance the needs of my family with my own needs. We've all been better off for it. My family doesn't just relate to me now as this blank person filling this 'role' of mother and wife. They relate to me as a person now, as an individual. So, as much as it hurt, it was for the better in the long run.

posted October 31, 2015 08:00 PM            

I just really admire how you are handling everything! Amazing!

Very best wishes to you, keep us posted!

posted November 05, 2015 10:32 PM            

I still don't know if any nerve damage, or exactly why..

posted November 06, 2015 12:07 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lioness:
Well idk if it's an update, but this is going to be a long journey for me..
Saw a specialist, I have lost 80% mobility in my arm. I need aggressive, intense thearpy to hopefully regain movement back in my arm.
Doc told me thearpy would be painful, but without it my arm would stay stuck like this permanently.

I still don't know if any nerve damage, or exactly why..

It's really depressing. Idk why I have to go through this.
I'm really tired of having a limp arm just hanging. Idk how much more I can take.. I'm near my limit here.

---

posted January 22, 2016 01:42 AM            

I'm sorry to hear about your accident and what unfolded in the months afterward.

A friend of mine got into a car accident some years ago and suffered permanent damage to her upper leg. Though she went through intense physical therapy to learn how to walk again and experienced depression, the ordeal helped her realize that she wanted to become an addictions counsellor. I trust that you will have your a-ha moment soon too!

Also, if I'm not mistaken, my friend found You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay, to be especially helpful during her recovery.