posted November 22, 2015 11:28 AM            

With this said, I have been busting my ass these past 3 months trying to find acting work. I have an agent. I've gotten some roles which is nice, but my goal is to actually make a LIVING as an actor. I had an audition in front of a BIG NAME talent the other day I think I did good (good feedback all around). But I still haven't gotten a call. It's only been a day since then but they were suppose to call me the same day I believe which means I didn't get it. It was a huge opportunity to work with some real people in the industry. I'm trying to be positive that I might still have a chance but with my Luck (Saturn square Jupiter TIGHT) I doubt I'll ever get anything to work out my way.

I recently moved from Mississippi to the West Coast with my friend and got an apartment to pursue my ambitions. My teenage years were really, really dark. I have all these BOSS placement in my chart people say but I can't use them correctly? I'm so lost. I don't want to do ANY job I can't be myself in. I don't know I'm just tired of being lonely and lost for my entire life.

I appreciate all the help everyone on this site has given me during these hard transforming times. It's taking EVERYTHING I have to not just "end it". (And yes I mean suicide).

posted November 22, 2015 11:34 AM            

There is a lot to live for.. enjoy the earth no matter how hard it gets. Everything you experience is your own creation. If you want to be an actor go ahead. But sometimes things don't work out because that's not where we are meant to be.

Don't let 'demons' make you hurt yourself. That's what they want you to do. When you leave your body you would regret it tremendously and wish you would have held on and fought them.

posted November 22, 2015 11:51 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by athenegoddess:
You are on Earth because you are meant to be.

There is a lot to live for.. enjoy the earth no matter how hard it gets. Everything you experience is your own creation. If you want to be an actor go ahead. But sometimes things don't work out because that's not where we are meant to be.

Don't let 'demons' make you hurt yourself. That's what they want you to do. When you leave your body you would regret it tremendously and wish you would have held on and fought them.

Continue your career as being a citizen on earth. It doesn't matter what you do as long as you live from love.

---

I don't have a purpose on this Earth. I didn't ask to be put here. I want to leave this place. I don't like my mind. I can never stop thinking. I'm depressed. I don't want to fake it anymore. I'm tired. I'm awkward. I'm a loser. These demons will probably win because if you think I'm going to keep fighting for my mental sanity all my life then screw it. That's no way to live. I wish I could just be normal.

posted November 22, 2015 11:56 AM            

I'm sure you have health something many people don't' have. Try to look at the stuff you do have in terms of everyone else on the earth.

Try meditating in silence if you want to quiet your mind. Start looking for ways to help still your mind. To cure your depression look inside your own heart where there is an endless fountain of love for you to have that is given freely and without conditions.

posted November 22, 2015 12:17 PM            

As for being an actor, of course you can be one! One thing: going after opportunities is good, but never discourage or stress yourself because you didn't get a role. So what? You should not feel awful for this. If you keep trying, one day you'll get it, when you least expect it.
You should tell yourself: 'I'll prepare for next time so that I can show them how what I'm worth'.
I believe you are good. Only you have to believe it too.
And please don't be so sad. You know, coworkers wouldn't probably want an unhappy person around, people usually like happy people in any job.

posted November 22, 2015 12:25 PM            

I feel you!

Question: do you ever dance, like totally dance? Music that is upbeat and alive. You need to allow the energy moving down, from your head to your toes. Dancing sets your body into motion. Depression is the lack of bodily movement, it's stillness, stone, cold winter Saturn rigidity. When you start moving that energy elsewhere the creative energy can start flowing and you will feel more, more alive. Mental states can be because one is afraid to be part of life. You want to escape. But from what? It might be a really good idea to escape your thoughts and believes instead of leaving your body because you have believed thoughts for too long. Thoughts are not YOU. You are so very precious and magical, just like all of us!! We want you to hold our hands, we're all in this together.

Demons will always talk, you can't shut them up but you can change your reaction to their voices and start listening more to your angels as you call them. So what you don't have a purpose? Doesn't mean you can't live a happy life. I knew I had a purpose all my life but I only started living it when I was much much older. Start small, everything that makes you smile and makes you feel good DO THAT! Goals that are big, just let them go. Letting go of wants and needs is so freeing. Start small and look what's in front of you. In front of you now is me and I want to hug you because you are my brother!
You already are a big actor, you don't need to accomplish anything to make you feel complete or worthy.

posted November 22, 2015 12:25 PM            

------------------
Want to Read Simple, Fun,Sexy Articles on Astrology? Check Me Out, DUDE.

posted November 22, 2015 12:27 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Orange:
well.... people are given the rare gift of choosing between life and death, the gift of being able to end our lives and sufferings. Other species are not being blessed with such options. They just live until they die.
So, dont take this lightly or talk about it as if you'd do it because you have nothing else to occupy yourself with.

Also, it seems that being important and recognized by the masses and above the mainstream is what you identify your life purpose with.. and not having that equals failure to you and makes you depressed.
Well, you dont know and may never find out what the purpose of your life is, because life was given to you without you asking for it.
Maybe, just maybe, the other day you crossed a street and smiled at a stranger, and by the butterfly effect it may have changed a string of circumstances somewhere.
You'd never know that.....

---

Unfortunately you are right. I am REALLY hard on myself, and I push myself too hard. And yes, I do want to leave a mark on the world. But for the better. We live in such a cruel, broken world and it's only getting worse as I type.

The masses, everyone, all needs love. We all need true freedom and peace. The powers that be are controlling this world and they aren't for the people. Hell, the people aren't even for the people anymore. I know I'm lost but I know so many others are too but they just don't know it.

posted November 22, 2015 12:40 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sylven:
Dear dear Paul!!!

I feel you!

Question: do you ever dance, like totally dance? Music that is upbeat and alive. You need to allow the energy moving down, from your head to your toes. Dancing sets your body into motion. Depression is the lack of bodily movement, it's stillness, stone, cold winter Saturn rigidity. When you start moving that energy elsewhere the creative energy can start flowing and you will feel more, more alive. Mental states can be because one is afraid to be part of life. You want to escape. But from what? It might be a really good idea to escape your thoughts and believes instead of leaving your body because you have believed thoughts for too long. Thoughts are not YOU. You are so very precious and magical, just like all of us!! We want you to hold our hands, we're all in this together.

Demons will always talk, you can't shut them up but you can change your reaction to their voices and start listening more to your angels as you call them. So what you don't have a purpose? Doesn't mean you can't live a happy life. I knew I had a purpose all my life but I only started living it when I was much much older. Start small, everything that makes you smile and makes you feel good DO THAT! Goals that are big, just let them go. Letting go of wants and needs is so freeing. Start small and look what's in front of you. In front of you now is me and I want to hug you because you are my brother!
You already are a big actor, you don't need to accomplish anything to make you feel complete or worthy.

I will come back later. If you don't mind.

---

I smiled. I can feel your compassion. I dance all the time. But more like headbang, and go crazy. I whistle all the time, I'm usually always fidgety. But behind all that is cold feeling inside of me that still lingers. I'm just sad. At myself that I'm so weak, and and the world.

Today is the 52nd anniversary of the JFK assassination. The Paris killings, school shootings, police brutality, MONEY (the root of evil)...etc etc...ARE WORLD WILL NEVER GET BETTER! WE NEED SOMETHING OR SOMEONE TO STEP UP!!!!

posted November 22, 2015 12:40 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PaulMcFly:
Unfortunately you are right. I am REALLY hard on myself, and I push myself too hard. And yes, I do want to leave a mark on the world. But for the better. We live in such a cruel, broken world and it's only getting worse as I type.

The masses, everyone, all needs love. We all need true freedom and peace. The powers that be are controlling this world and they aren't for the people. Hell, the people aren't even for the people anymore. I know I'm lost but I know so many others are too but they just don't know it.

I believe everyone on this planet is capable of making this world a lovely and precious place. We all have a gift, we all have a talent. And seeing everybody wasting it away for "a dollar" infuriates me. We are so much better than that. I don't want to be in a world where good people always lose.

---

posted November 22, 2015 12:43 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PaulMcFly:
I smiled. I can feel your compassion. I dance all the time. But more like headbang, and go crazy. I whistle all the time, I'm usually always fidgety. But behind all that is cold feeling inside of me that still lingers. I'm just sad. At myself that I'm so weak, and and the world.

Today is the 52nd anniversary of the JFK assassination. The Paris killings, school shootings, police brutality, MONEY (the root of evil)...etc etc...ARE WORLD WILL NEVER GET BETTER! WE NEED SOMETHING OR SOMEONE TO STEP UP!!!!

Everything we do in our world is a direct contradiction to the Creator's word. No matter what religion you believe in. This world is burning faster and faster and I REFUSE to watch this crap.

---

Dance with your whole body, not just head bang. And no the world will not be a goner. We can change it by staying close to ourselves and our own hearts and live from our hearts. I know, I know, I know .... sometimes it feels like it will never end.

I have to run but will be back!

posted November 22, 2015 12:53 PM            

Everything cycles and you will be so much stronger if you wait it out.

posted November 22, 2015 01:43 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Do you have a video of you that you could put up. I would love to see how you look live?

---

Here's a picture

https://gyazo.com/15a363d386cbc27df7950c00c18990e4

posted November 22, 2015 01:45 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by missblyss:
also, I'm a freak too! and freaks are effing AWESOME! embrace the freak!

---

posted November 22, 2015 02:03 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PaulMcFly:
lol ok...but only because you're so cool

---

posted November 23, 2015 01:55 PM            

People who make it to stardom , have been at it for years. It is really not something that happens overnight(contrary to popular belief).

My question to you is; are you interested in becoming an actor? Or are you looking to be a star? Those are not the same things....

posted November 23, 2015 04:49 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by VirgoAquaSag:
You have to start somewhere and it's not going to be BIG when you start out. In order to make a decent living(or any consistent source of money) out of acting, you have to have some history.
Get a side job to cover your living expenses and do not reject any small acting opportunities. Little by little, you will build your experience. Those will not only help you build your portfolio they will also help you with your acting skills.
Dream BIG, yes, but making a living is a reality. I know there are some very lucky actor/actress who just started out big and have been that way. But most people work really hard to just have an appearance on the show. If you think this world is cruel and difficult, I bet the acting world is even more harder to deal with. It is a really competitive place.
Stay motivated and work really hard for it. It won't just happen over a night. You have to really want it and work for it. Why don't you take some acting classes? Those are also going to help you boost your confidence and your acting skills.

---

posted November 23, 2015 04:52 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Jupiter Saturn sqaure doesn't mean that you don't have luck. I think it means that the "luck" you get(Jupiter) should be sustainable(Saturn).

People who make it to stardom , have been at it for years. It is really not something that happens overnight(contrary to popular belief).

My question to you is; are you interested in becoming an actor? Or are you looking to be a star? Those are not the same things....

---