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Author Topic:   Revisiting the Soulmate/Twin Flame myths
Belage
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posted November 29, 2015 03:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Belage     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
In honor of transit Saturn squaring Neptune, i think it is a good time to revisit the SoulMate/TwinFlame myths.

I see in real life as well as on forums how the belief in soulmates/twinflames is wrecking havoc in people's lives.

Am I the only one who feels this way?

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Ceridwen
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posted November 29, 2015 03:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ceridwen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The problem start when one gets fixated on a certain idea.

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Belage
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posted November 29, 2015 05:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Belage     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think the soulmate idea tends to create obsessions.

Some people post list of 50+ planetary aspects and asteroids to prove that they are in a soulmate relationship. Some people stay in abusive situations because they think they're working out soulmate issues. How about the ones who are not even in a physical relationship with someone, yet they think the person is their soulmate?

The dream/fantasy of finding one's soulmate. The fear of having found the soulmate and not being able to hold on to him/her. The anguish of thinking we have lost our soulmate.

If one didn't see the person as a soulmate or a potential soulmate, would the obsession and attachment be so strong?

Do souls really need mates? Honest question. Aren't souls whole in and out of themselves? Our heart may need a mate, our bodies may need mates, our mind may need mates, but our souls don't need mates.

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Empty Spaces
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posted November 29, 2015 06:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Empty Spaces     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That can be a dangerous ground!!I agree Belange.

-Do you think some kind of transit trigger that?I mean is hard to believe the person will start all this out of nowhere.

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Belage
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posted November 29, 2015 08:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Belage     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Empty Spaces:
That can be a dangerous ground!!I agree Belange.

-Do you think some kind of transit trigger that?I mean is hard to believe the person will start all this out of nowhere.



I think certain planetary and house aspects in a natal chart may make someone more prone to latch on to the soulmate idea. For instance, a loaded 7th house. Neptune in 7th or 8th; Pluto in 7th; Venus in hard aspects to Neptune or Pluto. These placement tend to lead the native to put a lot of stock in romantic relationships as a way to solve life's problems.

Certain transits might trigger soulmate ideations: Neptune or Pluto transit to 7th and 8th. Hard aspects of T Neptune or Pluto to Venus or to 7th house planets.

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Empty Spaces
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posted November 29, 2015 09:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Empty Spaces     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Edit

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PixieJane
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posted November 29, 2015 09:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Belage:
How about the ones who are not even in a physical relationship with someone, yet they think the person is their soulmate?

This thread reminds me I don't even know what a soul mate is.

Of course different people define soul mate in different ways, and expect everyone else to automatically have the same understanding, so maybe you don't know either. I did look into this recently trying to get a better idea on what soul mates and twin flames were, and generally speaking, they were more idealized notions personalized to each person's needs and fantasies. One person talked about several soul mates, including her dog.

But then I eschewed the romance genre growing up so I wouldn't be so inclined to find someone to orbit beauty and the beast style (and in the scifi/fantasy I read instead, the Edward Cullens and Christian Greys were clearly the villains, not the love interests, even if they did obsess over a character), and that affects how I'd see this right there.

I consider my BFF a soul mate, but it's just an acknowledgement, not an obsession. Nor would I abuse her or tolerate abuse from her ("working out issues" means working on them, not enabling them). Even though I do think we've known each other from multiple lives (assuming such are real) then that just cheapens this life somewhat as the danger here to me is like me saying "since we're soul mates, we don't have to hang around so much now when there's so many other things to explore and we can reconnect after we're dead." But if we don't, then wouldn't that be the real tragedy?

Btw, you'll probably like this thread:
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/005049.html

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Belage
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posted November 29, 2015 10:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Belage     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@Empty Spaces, I can relate. I have a 7th house stellium, and Neptune in 8th. I have moon trine Chiron, Magi astrology says moon/chiron aspects points to belief in fairytale romances.

So I believed in soulmates for many years, but I now think the entire premise is flawed. The soul needs no mate.

When we were children, we didn't put our happiness on hold waiting for a soulmate to appear, nor did we obsess about soulmates. Is this boy/girl my soulmate? Is that boy my soulmate? No. We grabbed life and we enjoyed it on a day to day basis for what it was.

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Belage
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posted November 29, 2015 11:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Belage     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
This thread reminds me I don't even know what a soul mate is.

Of course different people define soul mate in different ways, and expect everyone else to automatically have the same understanding, so maybe you don't know either. I did look into this recently trying to get a better idea on what soul mates and twin flames were, and generally speaking, they were more idealized notions personalized to each person's needs and fantasies. One person talked about several soul mates, including her dog.

But then I eschewed the romance genre growing up so I wouldn't be so inclined to find someone to orbit beauty and the beast style (and in the scifi/fantasy I read instead, the Edward Cullens and Christian Greys were clearly the villains, not the love interests, even if they did obsess over a character), and that affects how I'd see this right there.

I consider my BFF a soul mate, but it's just an acknowledgement, not an obsession. Nor would I abuse her or tolerate abuse from her ("working out issues" means working on them, not enabling them). Even though I do think we've known each other from multiple lives (assuming such are real) then that just cheapens this life somewhat as the danger here to me is like me saying "since we're soul mates, we don't have to hang around so much now when there's so many other things to explore and we can reconnect after we're dead." But if we don't, then wouldn't that be the real tragedy?

Btw, you'll probably like this thread:
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/005049.html


Thanks for the link. The convo is good, but I am looking for a more critical examination of the SoulMate theory. For instance, When did the Soulmate concept entered astrology? I may be mistaken, but the astrological focus seems to have been relatively recent.

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Empty Spaces
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posted November 30, 2015 12:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Empty Spaces     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I agree!!
------
Cant wait to see more comments.Very curious myself.

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Kannon McAfee
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posted December 01, 2015 12:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kannon McAfee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Right. Unfortunately, many people with shaky self-esteem are looking 'out there' for that special someone they've labelled 'soul mate' who they expect will make them feel great that they think they are destined to be with, and if they are then love is secured and everything will turn out all right, like a Disney fairy tale.

Truth is, no one has a 'soul mate' unless you've lived enough past lives to have pretty well mastered love 1-to-1 with at least one person, who could then be called a soul mate. If you've been through a lot, built the trust, and stuck it out, then maybe.

But for those who have not yet accomplished that in a past lifetime (and that may be lots of folks) the best you can do is become a soul mate by learning unconditional love. That means not blaming them when things go wrong, not giving in to fear and suspicion, not harboring private affections for another person (keeping the 'door' open), listening, and being willing to work on problems and challenges together. If you're not willing to do that then you're not willing to do what it takes to become a soul mate.

In other words, 'soul mate' has no meaning without soul history behind it. Astrology cannot indicate that. Try hypnosis.

Better yet, build solid self-esteem and know that you will have some trial and error to get relationships right, but that is not the end.

The essential truth of the human condition is that we have the great challenge of learning unconditional love as our common purpose. The problem is not with the idea of 'soul mate', but with poor understanding of what it is.

I am not with a 'soul mate.' My wife and I share encounters in 2-3 past lifetimes, and the person that I would most identify as my 'soul mate' died many years ago. But my wife is my life mate and my best friend, and we build upon the trust built in one particular past life. Our synastry would appear 'scary' to some because of Asc/Mars/Pluto aspects that would predictably lead some astrologers to say 'bad' without seeing the whole synastry picture.

The most powerful thing I did to allow the building of love in this lifetime was:

1.) Built self-esteem and self-image through healing and understanding and accepting myself. This is more important than anything. Religions and parents often injure one's self-worth, whether they mean to or not. shame and guilt are hemorrhaging wounds to self-worth. Mass media images play upon poor self-image to direct persons to some other notion of beauty.

2.) Came to understand that my 'soul mate' had a pre-incarnation agreement with me to not get romantically involved with me, so that I could learn to partner with others rather than simply repeat another lifetime of partnering with her.

Spread the love! Learn to love all kinds, colors, types of souls!

3.) Found my place on this planet which is my sweet spot and let things fall into place there as I co-created the rest.

Determine and say out loud with authority "I will only partner with someone who respects me and accepts and appreciates me as I am!" The universe hears and responds.

This is way more productive and effective than searching for soul mates who may have other agendas or plans. Or speculating endlessly based on astrology.


------------------
Astrology & Natural Medicine blog

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Belage
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posted December 01, 2015 12:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Belage     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^^^ Always managing to add a deeper layer to discussion. Lots of food for thought here. Thanks, Kannon!

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Faith
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posted December 01, 2015 01:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Belage:
I think the soulmate idea tends to create obsessions.

Yes.

Especially when someone says you are their soulmate, it's hard to forget that when they sound sincere, and there are many unusual experiences backing the statement up.

I think there is a valid effort to separate certain relationships linguistically, put them on a "higher shelf" so to speak.

*Had to edit this a few times.

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Belage
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posted December 02, 2015 12:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Belage     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
Yes.

Especially when someone says you are their soulmate, it's hard to forget that when they sound sincere, and there are many unusual experiences backing the statement up.

I think there is a valid effort to separate certain relationships linguistically, put them on a "higher shelf" so to speak.

*Had to edit this a few times.


yes, like a soulmate relationship is more "special" than the run of the mill relationships we see out there.

Anyway, I had a friend who was told by some psychic gypsies that a particular woman he had a crush on was his soulmate. Even though she never wanted to date him and ended up marrying someone else, he spent about 10+ years obsessing about her and paying the gypsies money to remove the curse they claim was preventing his soulmate from being with him.

When he finally realized he was being taken for a ride, he had already given a small fortune to these self-proclaimed soulmate specialists. And this was not a stupid man at all. Just that the allure of the soulmate mystique was so strong that it made him lose all common sense.

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Faith
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posted December 02, 2015 08:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That's a shame.

Reminds me of the Restaurant of Life skit

I hope you understand my point, though.

I think the word/concept/phenomenon of soulmate is valuable, despite its misuse. It just has a potency to be mindful of.

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Belage
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posted December 02, 2015 01:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Belage     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
That's a shame.

Reminds me of the Restaurant of Life skit

I hope you understand my point, though.

I think the word/concept/phenomenon of soulmate is valuable, despite its misuse. It just has a potency to be mindful of.


That skit was hilarious!!!!

Yes, I understand your point.

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Empty Spaces
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posted December 02, 2015 02:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Empty Spaces     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think the "soulmate aspects" threads can work agaisnt some people too.I mean they see that powerful synastry and BAM!!

"HE/SHE is my soulmate.I cant give up"

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Aubyanne
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posted December 02, 2015 02:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Belage:
Do souls really need mates? Honest question. Aren't souls whole in and out of themselves? Our heart may need a mate, our bodies may need mates, our mind may need mates, but our souls don't need mates.

I agree wholeheartedly with your original post, Belage, so I wanted to address this particular aspect, given my experience has been a little different. I agree that hearts, bodies, and minds may 'need' mates. I think if the soul finds a 'mate', it's actually a very peaceful experience; a kind of easy companionship.

Unlike the heart, it doesn't consume itself with issues of security or jealousies. Unlike the body, it doesn't crave the 'mate' to the point where it can become domineering, as a means to control the source of its joy. The mind can show such behaviours, too, depending upon the individual's orientation towards being more mental versus physical.

But 'soul-mating' tends to be gentler and easier, in a way. The mutual appreciation of each other's presence, as opposed to any demands for, or expectations of it.

Companionship is the word I'd use.

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Belage
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posted December 02, 2015 07:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Belage     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^^^ Very insightful. Yes, it would make more sense that soul mating would be easier and gentler. Most of our issues have to do with our humaneness and what we think it needs.

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