posted November 30, 2015 09:58 AM            

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Originally posted by Cappi112:
Would THEY be the abusers, or usually victims?

My bf has it as a tight semi-square. I'm not abusive (or at least, I really don't think I am!!!) but his previous exes were the kind of psycho that meant nearly ruining our relationship by emailing me threats and stuff. Scary, psychotic exes. All of them also cheated on him.

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posted November 30, 2015 10:09 AM            

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Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
I'm asking if people who have the Venus square Neptune aspect in their natal chart are usually abused in relationships. They said that people with this aspect are usually in relationships with people they have the Venus/Pluto aspect with. This is somewhat the case with me.

Also: http://astrolady.wix.com/astrolady#!about2/c1rix

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Yup, that's what I was responding to.

posted November 30, 2015 10:10 AM            

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Originally posted by Cappi112:
Would THEY be the abusers, or usually victims?

My bf has it as a tight semi-square. I'm not abusive (or at least, I really don't think I am!!!) but his previous exes were the kind of psycho that meant nearly ruining our relationship by emailing me threats and stuff. Scary, psychotic exes. All of them also cheated on him.

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From the article:

ok, never mind. Copying is disabled. It says "given and received by them," however.

I found the explanation for why that is interesting, and it's worth reading, IMO. It's a short article, especially if you overlook the specific examples.

Though that said, people who are abused tend to be people who abuse, probably because they were typically raised with it and at some level consider it normal. Even when someone becomes abusive due to never developing any impulse control, it's unlikely anyone would put up with them save those who came from abusive backgrounds anyway.

posted November 30, 2015 10:19 AM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
From the article:

ok, never mind. Copying is dabled. It says "given and received by them," however.

I found the explanation for why that is interesting, and it's worth reading, IMO. It's a short article, especially if you overlook the specific examples.

Though that said, people who are abused tend to be people who abuse, probably because they were typically raised with it and at some level consider it normal. Even when someone becomes abusive due to never developing any impulse control, it's unlikely anyone would put up with them save those who came from abusive backgrounds anyway.

As for your personal situation, if I were you, I would be curious why he'd be attracted to me if I wasn't like all the psychos from his past. There might be a very good reason for it, astrologically or personally, or it could mean something bad, in more than one way...and in any case, I'd be curious because that's just me.

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LOL thanks a lot!

So because he had awful past relationships, there must be something wrong with me that he eventually wound up with me?

Believe me, we've hashed it out and had our heavy ups and downs as a result of his past. But because he is not a VICTIM of his previous relationships and chose to make better decisions about how he chose, I like to think we wound up working through those problems together because he realized that I'm not like his past women. There were also many reasons he wound up with them - culture (being urged to date a girl who was his same culture), being in the same group of friends for most of their lives, and so on. We all learn the lessons of our bad relationships in our own ways.

posted November 30, 2015 10:26 AM            

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Originally posted by Cappi112:
Yup, that's what I was responding to.

I don't have it, my boyfriend does (semisquare of it in his natal), and yes, he has had abuse in his relationships. However, he has definitely overcome it with me - since I am not and have never been an abusive person in relationships.

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posted November 30, 2015 10:32 AM            

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Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
I have only been in one serious relationship and towards the end the guy got abusive. He never actually hit me but things did get physical between us. Now the guy I am somewhat involved in. We aren't in a serious relationship he's someone I met online. We actually live in different states. But I did meet him and we were intimate. He can be verbally abusive sometimes but I'm thinking that's because of his own issues. I have Venus/Pluto aspects with him. So I guess that means he might start getting physically abusive.

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posted November 30, 2015 10:39 AM            

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Originally posted by Cappi112:
Hmm, in what way verbal abusive? Especially this early on, if you are classifying him that way, I would say RUN. That's definitely the kind of thing I would watch out for with your placement - or honestly just in general. If he's verbally abusive now, or hurting you with words so soon, do not make excuses for that. It will only get worse in time, not better.

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posted November 30, 2015 10:45 AM            

Composite

Synastry

Davison

posted November 30, 2015 11:12 AM            

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Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
He's always telling me how I need to go back to college and educate myself more. Sometimes he'll say things like the things I talk about aren't interesting. I think he has some emotional issues. He doesn't like to express his emotions. And when I get too emotional he gets upset.

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All of this would be a deal-breaker for me. He's belittling you and bringing you down, as well as displaying a complete lack of emotional support. No one can tell you what to do, but to me this is very clear - not deception at all, just not treating you the right way and this early on I hope you'll detach.

Remember that what the Universe gives us in our charts, we have a choice about how we deal with it. These placements are meant to guide and support us through life - help us grow, show us where we need to focus on healing and growth. So if you are aware of this, and you act well on it, you will only grow in your relationships rather than repeat cycles.

posted November 30, 2015 11:28 AM            

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Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
I have it in my natal chart. I read that people with this aspect are usually in abusive relationships. Or involved with people who they have the Venus/Pluto aspect with. Is this always the case?
http://scorpioland.org/venus-square-neptune-violent-love/

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I said this in your other thread, but I can say it in a more concise way so let me.

posted November 30, 2015 11:57 AM            

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Originally posted by Cappi112:
All of this would be a deal-breaker for me. He's belittling you and bringing you down, as well as displaying a complete lack of emotional support. No one can tell you what to do, but to me this is very clear - not deception at all, just not treating you the right way and this early on I hope you'll detach.

Remember that what the Universe gives us in our charts, we have a choice about how we deal with it. These placements are meant to guide and support us through life - help us grow, show us where we need to focus on healing and growth. So if you are aware of this, and you act well on it, you will only grow in your relationships rather than repeat cycles.

Anyway, I give you strength - it's very hard to stand up for yourself but this guy kinda sounds like a secret (not -so-secret) jerk...

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posted November 30, 2015 12:39 PM            

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Originally posted by Cappi112:
LOL thanks a lot!

So because he had awful past relationships, there must be something wrong with me that he eventually wound up with me?

Believe me, we've hashed it out and had our heavy ups and downs as a result of his past. But because he is not a VICTIM of his previous relationships and chose to make better decisions about how he chose, I like to think we wound up working through those problems together because he realized that I'm not like his past women. There were also many reasons he wound up with them - culture (being urged to date a girl who was his same culture), being in the same group of friends for most of their lives, and so on. We all learn the lessons of our bad relationships in our own ways.

I'm sure you didn't mean that to be as offensive as it came off to me, but it annoys me when people pull that card. I dated jerks in my past too. Then I vowed to date a guy who treated me well, and wound up with that (we've been together for about two years now). So I'm just grateful we found each other and hope I have helped him heal in some ways.

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posted November 30, 2015 12:39 PM            

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Originally posted by Spongebob:

I said this in your other thread, but I can say it in a more concise way so let me.

Basically it's more accurate to say that your sense of judgment about who can and can't be trusted, isn't the best, at least when you first start out. As you get older, you get better after a few bad experiences. You're not doomed to anything.

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posted November 30, 2015 01:08 PM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
You're right, I didn't mean it to be the way you took it. I know you're just being defensive, but if you wanted to annoy me as much as I unintentionally annoyed you (because you decided to put the worst possible interpretation on it) then congratulations.

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Not at all, I'm just not sure what there is to gain from telling someone that they should be concerned their boyfriend chose them, ever.

posted November 30, 2015 10:37 PM            

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Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
I have it in my natal chart. I read that people with this aspect are usually in abusive relationships. Or involved with people who they have the Venus/Pluto aspect with. Is this always the case?

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No, of course not. I have Venus opposite Neptune in my birth chart and my experience was unrequited love -- until I learned my lessons and moved on ...

Did you notice that the three examples used up top of this linked article are all musicians/singers? That is your Venus-Neptune factor -- artistry. Venus square Neptune is a hard integration of the two principles, which is why artistry, music, poetry are common themes.

There is nothing 'violent' in the symbolism of Venus with Neptune. What there is indicated as a potential is a lack of clarity regarding love and affection (as the author of the article points out), and potential tenderness or victimhood in the face of abuse.

There is nothing, no astrology, NOTHING that makes a woman (or man) get into or remain in an abusive relationship. So decide now that you require respect and gentleness from anyone who would be in relationship with you.

This type of material is not a good way to learn about your own relationships or astrology. Its tabloid with a lot of focus on love gone wrong and others' problems.

posted November 30, 2015 11:26 PM            

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Originally posted by Kannon McAfee:
No, of course not. I have Venus opposite Neptune in my birth chart and my experience was unrequited love -- until I learned my lessons and moved on ...

Did you notice that the three examples used up top of this linked article are all musicians/singers? That is your Venus-Neptune factor -- artistry. Venus square Neptune is a hard integration of the two principles, which is why artistry, music, poetry are common themes.

There is nothing 'violent' in the symbolism of Venus with Neptune. What there is indicated as a potential is a lack of clarity regarding love and affection (as the author of the article points out), and potential tenderness or victimhood in the face of abuse.

There is nothing, no astrology, NOTHING that makes a woman (or man) get into or remain in an abusive relationship. So decide now that you require respect and gentleness from anyone who would be in relationship with you.

This type of material is not a good way to learn about your own relationships or astrology. Its tabloid with a lot of focus on love gone wrong and others' problems.

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posted November 30, 2015 11:31 PM            

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Yes, you will. Everyone does at some point or another.

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posted November 30, 2015 11:51 PM            

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Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
So are you saying that I will experience unrequited love in relationships?

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No, I did not say that. Apply yourself in some creative pursuit, and bolster your self-image and self-worth.

posted December 01, 2015 12:59 AM            

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Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
I don't believe everyone does

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