posted February 11, 2016 09:16 PM            

A) “I love you so I want what’s best for you. I really just want you to be happy, whether you are happy with or without me.”

B) “I love you so I would do anything in the world not to lose you, because I couldn’t breathe without you – and losing you would kill me.”

^ If you don’t like these options – then describe love vs obsession in your own terms!

Also, do you think one thing can ever turn into the other - over time... Could something that starts as an obsession end in true love - or vice versa?

posted February 11, 2016 09:33 PM            

quote:

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What applies to you more when you are deeply in love...

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A ***

.
.
.

*** But I knew something they didn't...which is, that they would be happier with me than they realized, so for their best interest, they really should love me back.

heheheh

Sag Venus
Pisces moon

posted February 11, 2016 10:20 PM            

“I love you so I want what’s best for you. I really just want you to be happy, whether you are happy with or without me - But I'll certainly be happier if I'm the one you choose and I can make you happy". Lol the person I love don't choose me - I'll be sad for me (I'll get over it). But I hope he'll find his hapiness - I'll be happy for him.

Along with the desire to love, there is a desire to be loved.

Yes, I'll do a lot of things to not lose the one I love, but as always, his decision comes first. Nah I don't feel like I'd die if it's lost. Feeling that way is like a burden. What about other people's love for me. Friends, family, etc.. and the things I enjoy... Don't wanna write all of that off just because I lose my romantic love.

12th house cap venus.

posted February 11, 2016 11:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by 12muddy:
^ Yeah I see the appeal of "B". In short I find it passionate (like you said). Loving and being loved that way sound appealing somehow (venus sextile pluto laps it up). But when I think about the other person feeling devastated because of me, it's sort of too heavy.

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posted February 12, 2016 02:58 AM            

B seems possessive (rhymes with obsessive)

Edit - I have said "A" to people. Recently, "All I ever wanted was your happiness, so if that is without me then okay. I bid you the fondest farewell."

And I meant it.

posted February 12, 2016 06:11 AM            

When I left my husband he was like....

"Ok I understand that you need to do what is in your heart. I love you so much that I just want you to be happy. So if that means leaving me then so be it."

Two days later....

"I'm dying on the inside, how can you do this to me. I can't breathe I can't sleep I can't eat without you. That's how much I love you, you b***h!"

posted February 12, 2016 06:25 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
Which of these represents love or obsession to you? Or are they both different types of love?
What applies to you more when you are deeply in love – and how would you prefer to be loved?

A) “I love you so I want what’s best for you. I really just want you to be happy, whether you are happy with or without me.”

B) “I love you so I would do anything in the world not to lose you, because I couldn’t breathe without you – and losing you would kill me.”

^ If you don’t like these options – then describe love vs obsession in your own terms!

Also, do you think one thing can ever turn into the other - over time... Could something that starts as an obsession end in true love - or vice versa?

Please include your Venus sign/house and aspects – and anything else you find relevant

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Very interesting question!

After many years of choosing B, I finally started to choose A! Although, B can still be valid, without the "because I couldn’t breathe without you – and losing you would kill me.”" I mean, if you love sb, of course you want him to be happy WITH you, you prefer that it is YOU that makes him happy. So, in my opinion, A is true love, even mixed with the "so I would do anything in the world not to lose you" state. But when you feel that losing sb is going to kill you, maybe there are themes of low self-esteem or possesiveness/obsession and I say this, although I am really obsessive myself!

p.s. Venus in Cancer, 5th house, trine Jupiter.

posted February 12, 2016 08:31 AM            

When I deeply in love or just in love, I'll always be like A. If they are happy, I am happier.

I prefer to be loved like A. To be loved like B most likely will make me loose interest day by day because I've found it was not a healthy relationship for me.

posted February 12, 2016 08:48 AM            

And Buffy knows how to deal with the male counterpart of the creepy stalker woman:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZwM3GvaTRM

Though in all seriousness, many prefer people to be obsessed like that. Back when "creepy stalker girl" first posted (as a joke) there were many guys who thought she was hot, and of course Edward and his stalking ways are desired by many women (though I suspect only because he's hot), though it wasn't a surprise to me to learn hardcore male felons (including serial rapists and killers) in prison also loved the Twilight saga (even Pattinson who played Edward found him disturbing ). It might be interesting to find out WHY some people prefer that kind of poison. Maybe it's the intensity, the way some people can never be happy with pot and booze, they gotta have meth or heroin.

Anyway, back to my having fun...here's a Cancer Sun with Scorpio moon (the bear):
http://youtu.be/rNdAPWBBW3Y?t=5s

Now switch it around to Scorpio sun with Cancer moon (the redhead):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agKeqRKiPq8

posted February 12, 2016 08:49 AM            

And that is how I've done it, too.

It's a matter of what you say.

Some people think that saying "I need you" will make the other person feel loved, and honestly don't know it makes the other person feel manipulated or cornered.

Some people would love to hear "I need you" from one person, and hate to hear it from another, because they know how that need is going to be expressed.

posted February 12, 2016 09:10 AM            

"I know it's not love. It's obsession -- selfish, banal obsession."

"Do you have any idea how serious this is? People under a love spell, Xander, are deadly. They lose all capacity for reason."

Obsession/B is what can lead to crimes of passion, especially if it's unrequited.

I can only handle A, and if I ever felt myself feeling B, I'd be inclined to go far away even if it meant starting over as I'd hate to have that, and I wouldn't trust myself to be thinking straight (the problem is, the neurochemistry can actually cause the brain to imitate various types of mental disorders so one can easily become self-deluded or otherwise temporarily insane until the flood of brain chemicals dies down).

posted February 12, 2016 09:45 AM            

First, I have Virgo Venus, 12th house, square Neptune, semisquare Uranus. (Uranus rules my 5th, makes other aspects including conjunct NN)

I've thought about this. I'm probably one of the most difficult people to have a relationship with.
I think where I NEED to end up is as Venus Virgo - a grounded, dedicated, servant of love.
Often I end up transitioning first through B and then through A. At the time I'm really really lost in either of those. I'm totally swept away. In reality, it's hell. It's not fun at all.
Then my Uranus semi-square that's been lurking in the shadows suddenly rises up. I'm like a bullet shot out of a gun. I go from A to very cold, distant, and even mean.
I break away and I'm gone.

posted February 12, 2016 09:50 AM            

I think feeling B doesn't always indicate obsession or possession.

One can genuinely feel that the other person is a catalyst who makes their own life so much better, that they cannot bear to revert back to the level they were at, before the helper came along. Whether they obsess and possess or not, they could have that awareness of what they stand to lose.

This video shows how one person's higher vibrations will lift the vibrations of those they come in contact with...the higher the vibrations, the broader their circle.

Change Your Frequency, Change Your Reality

Ideally we are all responsible for lifting ourselves up and keeping ourselves there. Before we learn to do that, contact with higher vibrations may feel like a lifeline.

ETA: Not that all clingy relationships are based on one person playing guru to the other.

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I have Venus conjunct Neptune, and Neptune rules my moon...often I've looked at love in the light of spiritual development. You know like the song goes, "To love another person is to see the face of God." I think that's a Neptunian sentiment.

posted February 12, 2016 02:11 PM            

I find A more distanced, it's something we all sort of wish we could say, but many of us will never be able to be that way.

I love more the way of B, and it's painful but it feels less contrived to me (I'm not saying it is that way, it's just the way I perceive things).

Aries Venus H9
Conjunct Ceres to the minute
Wide, out of sign conjunction with Jupiter.
Opposite Pluto *ding*