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Author
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Topic: Neediness...
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DopGang
Knowflake Posts: 2009
From: INTJ
Registered: Jun 2015
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posted February 22, 2016 02:36 PM
  
Edit:
I gave it one more go. I just can't.  IP: Logged |
Elysia
Knowflake Posts: 862
From:
Registered: Aug 2015
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posted February 22, 2016 02:55 PM
Aww
 Maybe some other time..? (Transits messing things up, huh) IP: Logged |
Elysia
Knowflake Posts: 862
From:
Registered: Aug 2015
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posted February 22, 2016 03:06 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
Every time he tried to tell me "Everything is over, go on, be with someone else, be happy" he took those words back in a huge way, as in, coming to my house at 3 am crying. LOL
Oh yes. This. I had this break-up-make-up dynamic with my ex pretty much the whole time we were together. :/ IP: Logged |
DopGang
Knowflake Posts: 2009
From: INTJ
Registered: Jun 2015
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posted February 22, 2016 03:12 PM
Me today  IP: Logged |
Elysia
Knowflake Posts: 862
From:
Registered: Aug 2015
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posted February 22, 2016 03:17 PM
^^^
ROFL  If only I was that fluffy. Anyhoo, gotta get back to work now.
Be back later, LL.
IP: Logged |
charlie
Knowflake Posts: 3553
From:
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted February 22, 2016 03:19 PM
My Uranus aspects can't deal with CLINGY at all but needy? I have no problems helping someone in need! IP: Logged |
Faith
Knowflake Posts: 15947
From: Bella's Hair Salon
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted February 22, 2016 05:05 PM
I loved your post Elysia. So eloquent. quote:
Originally posted by Elysia:
Oh yes. This. I had this break-up-make-up dynamic with my ex pretty much the whole time we were together. :/
U2 - With or Without You   IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 7828
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 22, 2016 05:34 PM
I have got to start saving these adorable pictures. I want to find the one that hypatia posted the other night, as well.  I feel like that duck today. I'm wiped out. IP: Logged |
Sikanda
Knowflake Posts: 432
From: 28080
Registered: Aug 2015
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posted February 22, 2016 06:39 PM
Of course I would love to feel needed (never taken to extremes of course; extreme behaviour is never ok). But I think neediness is adorable! Being needed would make me feel loved and secure. I'm happy to know that I'm needed by my friends and they simply don't forget about me.
And so I would love to be by my beloved one. I wish he would need me and miss me as much as I would miss and need him when I was away. And I wish that he was sweet and understanding and he was able to take my 'needy' embrace and react properly to it. Someone who is always aloof would be such a turn off.
Libra Moon, Libra Venus, Capricorn MarsIP: Logged |
deepseablues
Knowflake Posts: 909
From: the ocean floor
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted February 22, 2016 07:51 PM
editIP: Logged |
Selenite
Knowflake Posts: 1006
From: Lyra
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted February 22, 2016 08:14 PM
Sometimes I get pretty needy in a (deliciously) destructive way. I'm not a needy person in general, but the more I want to escape my surroundings (Moon sq. Neptune), the more appealing it becomes for me to completely lose myself in another person..
I am pretty fortunate that the person I'm dating actually cares about me and slaps me on the head when I start to talk crazy. Not at all like my last relationship, where both of us pretty much reveled in seeing how much we could get away with without completely destroying our lives. Empty way to live for sure, but it's oh so tempting sometimes..  I think this in particular is my Sagitariusness mixed with the Scorpio Venus / Pluto / NN. IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 9679
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted February 23, 2016 07:31 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
Do you like feeling needed by another individual, or others in general? Or do you resent this/find it smothering?
I really dislike it when someone needs me or is acting needy. It makes me feel smothered. I can handle sparse "Hey, can you do X for me, please?" stuff but no more than that. I have bad history with feeling like a slave / servant / sounding board (Pluto in the 6H). So it triggers me badly when someone starts asking me for help/presence too much.
Unless they're honestly in need and aren't just taking advantage of me. And as long as it doesn't become chronic. (Interestingly, I used to be different a few years ago. I actually enjoyed feeling needed and offered my help to everyone in need, especially emotionally. It still happens sometimes but only for short-term stuff.) quote:
Are you needy yourself?
I can be, but almost never overtly. I can feel like I "need" someone's attention/reassurance, but would seldom ask for it, especially with romantic partners. I've been trying to loosen up a little but it still feels unnatural.
Not sure about 6H in synastry, all I can say is that I have a huge stellium in the 6H and neediness in others is a turn-off.
I definitely happened to act very needy in the past, though (in situations where the other person didn't want to be invested, so it was kind of "justified"). I still have a savior complex in there somewhere so I'm attracted to people with "issues" (so I can "fix" them) but more of a distant/dismissive nature rather than an insecure/clingy nature. If you want to get all psychological about it, I assume it's because my mother has been sapping my energy for years by "needing" me all the time (for all kinds of things, practical and emotional), so I'm very averse to people who seem like they can't handle their life or need me. But at the same time, love and care are still very tied to service/help, and that's a predominant theme in my life. There's always some "fixing" to do, one way or another. I just want it to happen on my own terms. I am willing to do it as long as I'm not expected to do it, kind of thing. I'd rather be the needy one, even if it's a distasteful feeling as well. It just feels less threatening. -- Virgo MOON sq. MARS/PLUTO (6H), opp. Saturn. IP: Logged |
Elysia
Knowflake Posts: 862
From:
Registered: Aug 2015
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posted February 23, 2016 09:08 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
I loved your post Elysia. So eloquent.
Thanks, Faith. You make me feel special!  quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
U2 - With or Without You
Got your finger on the pulse.. IP: Logged |
Steph22922
Knowflake Posts: 84
From: United States, Kansas
Registered: Jan 2015
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posted February 23, 2016 09:31 AM
Moon: Taurus
Venus: PiscesI don't mind helping people when they need it but if someone starts to take advantage of that then I try to distance myself. I also can't stand people who are clingy in relationships. I've had both friends and people I've dated that were extremely clingy and no matter how much I talked to and hung out with them they always wanted more of my time than what I could give. That p*sses me off and makes me resent people real quick. If someone doesn't have their own life and clings onto me as their sole source of happiness, I almost instinctively give up on the relationship at some point just on the principle of the thing (not to mention how smothering and stressful it is to be on the receiving end of that kind of behavior). Another person can't bring you happiness, happiness starts from within. (I also have mars and pluto square my moon along with a few other aspects. those are the two relevant ones that I think would make me this way. If someone's under the impression that I'm the only thing that can make them happy, I think my pluto takes over and I cut them out of my life so they can face the transformation of realizing they don't need me.) IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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