posted March 02, 2016 02:01 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aquarian Moon:
Yes, this is true, except I don't throw tantrums (lol), but I am the sulk queen. I admit it.

It's a super-wide opposition, like 15 degrees. Thank God.

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Hmmm. So I wonder. Is there any significant thing that happened at age 15/16? Since that is when Moon and Mars interacted.

posted March 02, 2016 10:11 PM            

I know what you mean. I'm not satisfied with simply just "beating" the other person up. No, I have to destroy them. I wanna grab the stick and smash their face. I wanna cripple them. I want to leave something with them that will remind them of me forever. 10...20....40yrs from now. They'll see that scare and remember what I did. I'm not satisfied with anything else. Everything thing else feels like a half assed job, and I either go 200% and crush them or I don't do it at all.

With this rage comes great control so I usually try not to act on my impulses because I will take it too far. So I boil with rage cause I wanna snap the other person in half so bad.

posted March 03, 2016 12:14 AM            

I have Mars square Pluto.. Sun squaring my Mars making a t-square with Sun opposite Pluto.. With my Mars/Pluto midpoint possibly conjunct my ascendant. I know I've mentioned this placement more than once, and I hate to be repetitive, but, anyways..

I guess in a way, I dealt with a situation in which I wound up in a very abusive, scary situation. Within that experience, I realized how corrosive anger can be. I guess, day after day, with how I was treated and how I saw society and humanity treat each other, it just began to really sadden me.

Before then, I did spend a considerable amount of time angry. I mean, I've always been someone to anger slowly.. But, usually once I've gotten to that point there isn't much that can be done to calm me down.

In time, I also found that regardless of how badly someone treated me, it was not very often that revenge would actually help me feel any better in the long-run. I feel that there are times where it temporarily does something to make a person feel relief.. But, I feel there is generally a certain emptiness that comes with it too. It doesn't generally really change anything. For example, killing someone else for killing someone you love isn't going to bring that person back. (Not to say that ever happened with me haha) generally speaking, revenge doesn't make much better, if anything. on an objective level it generally just brings things to a further state of degradation.

I also realized that there were so many moments wasted in anger. It was just a waste. It specifically makes me think of this lyric "if I could take back all those misspent days, every second of anger.. I would wash my sins away"

I'm not by any means saying that we should spend all of our time trying to choose anger over happiness.. What I'm trying to say, is that I think a lot could be gained from taking a moment to try and look at the perspectives beyond ours.

I'm not saying that one should never take revenge. I'm not saying that we should never get angry. I'm just saying, I feel like a lot of the times it isn't worth it. It just seems to be an emotion that very rarely actually fixes things. Although, there are always exceptions.

I guess over time, having spent so much time angry.. Seeing so many people needlessly hurt each other.. And finding the loneliness in any kind of revenge. It takes a lot for me to get mad nowadays. However, if it does happen, it isn't much different to how things used to be. It isn't easy for me to calm down.. And, I guess that partly scares me, because I can become very instinctual when I've gotten to that point, and I don't tend to think through the consequences of my actions. Almost as if there is another being that takes a hold of me.

In the end, I'd say that anger usually isn't worth it. It's hella helpful for working out/lifting weights though. Hahaha