posted March 19, 2016 04:44 PM
Here I go again, making funny descriptions for each sign. This time, it's Venus, so be sure to identify with your Venus placement. NOTE: some of them may not be 100% accurate. This is just for fun If you haven't seen the Mercury one yet, check it out here: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/234738.html
Here it goes. Enjoy
Venus in Aries: Oh hey! Like, after we talked last night, I went out and bought us some roses and our wedding ring! I bought us a house to live in and I set up our next honeymoon! Isn't that great?!
*gets told they only talked for two minutes*
Wha...what the hell. I thought you liked me. You're such a b**** (runs off angrily).
Venus in Taurus: Oh yes, I totally want to just drag my fingers down your body and touch you, but first, go take a shower. I don't want your filthy hands going on my body, that's disgusting. Also, let the fridge know that I'm going to be spending time with it tonight.
Venus in Gemini: OMG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH *posts it all over Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, tells everyone they know*.
Ugh sorry, I don't think this is working out.
*gets told they've only been dating for an hour*
Yeah, well I hate you now. I've got another boyfriend, see ya.
Venus in Cancer: I love you so much, that I made you underwear! I've got all your stuff ready for you! Just PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!!!
You're my squishy.
Venus in Leo: I know you love me so much. When I stare at you, you just can't help but fall in love with me. Take me to wonderland! Adore me and become my knight in shining armor! You don't love me? HAHAHAHAHAHA, you're in denial. Everyone loves us when we're together!
Venus in Virgo: I love you, but you need to work harder on the relationship. You leave all your stuff on the floor, you forget to change your razors, you just can't...UGH!! I do everything and you don't appreciate me!
(Poor Virgo Venus).
Venus in Libra: I know we've only talked for two minutes, but I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
*people freak out when hearing this*
What's going on? I'm just being honest with my feelings. Why are you freaking out?
Venus in Scorpio: YOU ARE MINE AND NO ONE ELSES. YOU ARE GREATNESS!!!!!!
*Scorpio Venus treats love like a god*
*gets cheated on*
BURN IN HELL YOU SON OF A B****
AGGHAAGAGAHGAHAAGA
Venus in Sagittarius: Okay, I want to go to China, Europe, the Stonehenge, go ice-skating, go sky-diving, have a Ménage à trois, and explore with world with you!
Let's go *ten seconds after the marriage ceremony*
Venus in Capricorn: This relationship is supposed to be successful. I want all of us to be successful, and this relationship will be successful.
*Years later* This relationship needs to be successful. Why is it not?!
*tries to hold in emotions when it can't anymore*
Venus in Aquarius: Hey, you want to hang out as friends or something? Sweet!
*gets asked about marriage*
*takes five years to think about it*
Well, I'm sorry but I'm not ready yet.
(SO STUBBORN WE AQUA VENUS ARE)
Venus in Pisces: OMG my lover is the best lover ever. He is absolutely perfect!
*sees the truth about their partner and their flaws*
NO, IT CAN'T BE TRUE!
*runs away*