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Author Topic:   Attracting users/jerks
Koniucha
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posted April 10, 2016 07:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Koniucha     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
After the latest guy that I fell for, I can see that all I seem to attract are guys that want to use me or that have substance abuse problems.

I am at the point where I fear liking another man because I'm scared of the same thing happening. I'm not sure what to do

Here is my chart, with transits:

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Ann7
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posted April 10, 2016 08:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ann7     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have sag rising with neptune conjunct from the 12th - I went through a lot of frogs. Also, having gemini on the DC tends to make us fickle and kind of go from one relationship to the next, mostly because we get bored easy and have a low tolerance for b.s.

Not sure about the rest of your chart - hopefully some others from LL will chime in. Sometimes you have to step back and realize the pattern, then take steps to change it.

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Ann7
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posted April 10, 2016 08:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ann7     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey - just noticed you are October 29 - I'm October 30th (only way older than you, lol).

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Pisces Plutonian
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posted April 10, 2016 09:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Pisces Plutonian     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The only thing that I can see in your chart that would cause this is that the ruler of your 7th house is in Scorpio.

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Koniucha
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posted April 10, 2016 09:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Koniucha     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Pisces Plutonian:
The only thing that I can see in your chart that would cause this is that the ruler of your 7th house is in Scorpio.

Can you elaborate on this? Do you mean my Mercury in Scorpio? Rulers confuse me still.

I thought it maybe was my Neptune on my ASC.

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Ann7
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posted April 10, 2016 10:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ann7     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hopefully Ami-Ann will chime in. I pulled your chart but added nessus and dejanira (asteroids)- you have dejanira conjunct your sun and nessus conjunct moon. Your dejanira conjunct your sun probably makes you attractive to people that want to take advantage of you. Not sure about the moon stuff.

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XzaultaX
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Posts: 111
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posted April 10, 2016 10:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for XzaultaX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Koniucha:
Can you elaborate on this? Do you mean my Mercury in Scorpio? Rulers confuse me still.

I thought it maybe was my Neptune on my ASC.



Your 7th house cusp is Gemini the planet ruler of Gemini is Mercury and Mercury is in Scorpio

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XzaultaX
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posted April 10, 2016 10:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for XzaultaX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Koniucha:
Can you elaborate on this? Do you mean my Mercury in Scorpio? Rulers confuse me still.

I thought it maybe was my Neptune on my ASC.



Your 7th house cusp is Gemini the planet ruler of Gemini is Mercury and Mercury is in Scorpio

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Ami Anne
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posted April 10, 2016 10:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Neptune conj the ASC--hard to feel solid enough to TRUST your instincts

------------------
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Koniucha
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posted April 10, 2016 10:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Koniucha     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by XzaultaX:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Koniucha:
[b] Can you elaborate on this? Do you mean my Mercury in Scorpio? Rulers confuse me still.

I thought it maybe was my Neptune on my ASC.



Your 7th house cusp is Gemini the planet ruler of Gemini is Mercury and Mercury is in Scorpio

[/B][/QUOTE]

Ok, but what does that mean? So it is bad to have the ruler of your 7th in Scorpio? Do I attract bad guys because of that?

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XzaultaX
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Posts: 111
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posted April 10, 2016 11:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for XzaultaX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Koniucha:
Ok, but what does that mean? So it is bad to have the ruler of your 7th in Scorpio? Do I attract bad guys because of that?



I actually dont know that yet i guess we have to wait for ami anne she knows EVERYTHING

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Koniucha
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posted April 10, 2016 11:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Koniucha     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Neptune conj the ASC--hard to feel solid enough to TRUST your instincts


Yes, it can be hard. I am very emotional and I know I have an innocent, sensitive look to me.

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Doux Rêve
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posted April 10, 2016 12:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Mars in the 12H conjunct Neptune... Since Mars stands for male significators in your life.
Hidden in the 12H of secrets, deceit, and the subconscious. Hidden enemies. Add Neptune to it and the effects are amplified, especially since Venus (although widely) squares your Neptune. The rose-colored glasses syndrome.
Moon in Cancer subconsciously attracts 'broken' people or people with issues as its fundamental role is that of the nurturer, the care-giver.
Venus in Virgo conjunct Saturn (although Jupiter is there as well) can point to issues around feeling worthy of male attention/love, because of high self-criticalness. Moon square Pluto intensifies this and can make you feel like you're not "feminine" enough, because Pluto has a hard effect on the Moon. It can also point to issues related to attachment and trust, as well as your own emotional power.

Your Sun is technically unaspected, meaning that there's a lack of defined/solid male/Yang energy in your life. That can also point to males having a larger-than-life effect on you, as they compensate for your lack of (possible) direction and sense of identity.

Chiron in the 5H of romance and love definitely adds a layer to the pain in romance, it's also opposite your DSC ruler Mercury, meaning that relationships are bound to be very scarring but also have the potential of being very healing and liberating.

Gemini on the DSC itself can give fickle, deceitful partners (it's not too bad all by itself though).

I think you need someone who aspects your Sun via flowing aspects, perhaps even a conjunction from a benefic such as Venus or Jupiter. Then the other person will "see" you, they will recognize your light, your core energy.

With Chiron in Taurus and Venus in Virgo there's that wound around the body, the attractiveness of it, and your fundamental worth as a woman. So perhaps those are things you still need to work on. Recognize your own value, your beauty, your worth. And not give it to people who don't deserve it or take advantage of it. Having enough power to say when enough is enough, and go after what you truly deserve.

At any rate, the emotional life will need a lot of tending to, that Moon square Pluto aspect usually needs to be worked on through relationships a lot, with a partner who is not afraid of vulnerabilities and going deep. You need support from a loved one, but you may also fear such closeness because that can hurt you so much deeper than someone who was never truly there for you. Ask yourself if a part of you feels more "comfortable" with people who aren't truly there for you, because you don't have to trust them, and in turn they can't really betray you.
Now I don't know, perhaps you do trust them and they seem genuinely good, and then they betray you... But at any rate, you have to understand what blocks you from being attracted/attracting someone who's genuinely got your best interests at heart. Perhaps a part of you is scared of surrendering to such intimacy.

ETA: tSaturn on your Mars is definitely doing its work - making you face the reality of things as they are now.
tUranus will soon square your Moon, which means a new way of seeing emotional attachment and relationships. Perhaps you'll take a break from "serious" dating/relationships and will only consider temporary flings; or you'll avoid relationships altogether. The other thing that could happen is that you will be emotionally unavailable at this time due to the bad experiences. Don't worry, it's part of the process. It's a time of restructuring your emotional life and your patterns. This is all for your best; eventually you'll come to realize some things and hopefully have a healthier view/pattern of attraction and attachment.

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Koniucha
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Posts: 531
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Registered: Jun 2014

posted April 10, 2016 01:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Koniucha     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Mars in the 12H conjunct Neptune... Since Mars stands for male significators in your life.
Hidden in the 12H of secrets, deceit, and the subconscious. Hidden enemies. Add Neptune to it and the effects are amplified, especially since Venus (although widely) squares your Neptune. The rose-colored glasses syndrome.
Moon in Cancer subconsciously attracts 'broken' people or people with issues as its fundamental role is that of the nurturer, the care-giver.
Venus in Virgo conjunct Saturn (although Jupiter is there as well) can point to issues around feeling worthy of male attention/love, because of high self-criticalness. Moon square Pluto intensifies this and can make you feel like you're not "feminine" enough, because Pluto has a hard effect on the Moon. It can also point to issues related to attachment and trust, as well as your own emotional power.

Your Sun is technically unaspected, meaning that there's a lack of defined/solid male/Yang energy in your life. That can also point to males having a larger-than-life effect on you, as they compensate for your lack of (possible) direction and sense of identity.

Chiron in the 5H of romance and love definitely adds a layer to the pain in romance, it's also opposite your DSC ruler Mercury, meaning that relationships are bound to be very scarring but also have the potential of being very healing and liberating.

Gemini on the DSC itself can give fickle, deceitful partners (it's not too bad all by itself though).

I think you need someone who aspects your Sun via flowing aspects, perhaps even a conjunction from a benefic such as Venus or Jupiter. Then the other person will "see" you, they will recognize your light, your core energy.

With Chiron in Taurus and Venus in Virgo there's that wound around the body, the attractiveness of it, and your fundamental worth as a woman. So perhaps those are things you still need to work on. Recognize your own value, your beauty, your worth. And not give it to people who don't deserve it or take advantage of it. Having enough power to say when enough is enough, and go after what you truly deserve.

At any rate, the emotional life will need a lot of tending to, that Moon square Pluto aspect usually needs to be worked on through relationships a lot, with a partner who is not afraid of vulnerabilities and going deep. You need support from a loved one, but you may also fear such closeness because that can hurt you so much deeper than someone who was never truly there for you. Ask yourself if a part of you feels more "comfortable" with people who aren't truly there for you, because you don't have to trust them, and in turn they can't really betray you.
Now I don't know, perhaps you do trust them and they seem genuinely good, and then they betray you... But at any rate, you have to understand what blocks you from being attracted/attracting someone who's genuinely got your best interests at heart. Perhaps a part of you is scared of surrendering to such intimacy.

ETA: tSaturn on your Mars is definitely doing its work - making you face the reality of things as they are now.
tUranus will soon square your Moon, which means a new way of seeing emotional attachment and relationships. Perhaps you'll take a break from "serious" dating/relationships and will only consider temporary flings; or you'll avoid relationships altogether. The other thing that could happen is that you will be emotionally unavailable at this time due to the bad experiences. Don't worry, it's part of the process. It's a time of restructuring your emotional life and your patterns. This is all for your best; eventually you'll come to realize some things and hopefully have a healthier view/pattern of attraction and attachment.


Oh no, this made me cry!

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Doux Rêve
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posted April 10, 2016 01:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm sorry

*hugs*


You know you're not doomed, right, Koniucha? Look at you, you beautiful marvelous thing.
Don't worry, okay? Trust me when I tell you the vast majority of people are in a similar condition, and we're all in the same boat... Really. Truly.
We're all hanging in there trying to find that piece of hope and faith to hold onto.
But you're no worse than anyone else, your "destiny" is no worse than anyone else's. You've gotta remember that. Beautiful things can happen to you. And there are some genuinely good people out there, waiting to meet you. It's not all over yet.

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Koniucha
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Registered: Jun 2014

posted April 10, 2016 01:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Koniucha     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
I'm sorry

*hugs*


You know you're not doomed, right, Koniucha? Look at you, you beautiful marvelous thing.
Don't worry, okay? Trust me when I tell you the vast majority of people are in a similar condition, and we're all in the same boat... Really. Truly.
We're all hanging in there trying to find that piece of hope and faith to hold onto.
But you're no worse than anyone else, your "destiny" is no worse than anyone else's. You've gotta remember that. Beautiful things can happen to you. And there are some genuinely good people out there, waiting to meet you. It's not all over yet.


Thank you for that. Everything is true.

Could my 12th house Saturn transit be making me feel this way too? I have been reexamining my whole life lately. And some days I just feel so alone in this world.

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Doux Rêve
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posted April 10, 2016 01:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh you're welcome.
I don't want you to feel bad about this, but yes, tSaturn in the 12H is known for its blues effect. It is indeed a time where you might feel quite alone, isolated, abandoned even. It's a time to reflect on your life, for sure.
But it's just a cycle. Everything is.
You will have better days... It's part of life, alas, to feel sad or depressed even, sometimes. Try not to hold onto it too much. Those feelings.
Brighter days are ahead, it can't always be this bad.

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nordicsoul
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posted April 10, 2016 03:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for nordicsoul     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think it is more your neptune conjunct ascendant square venus than a transit. actually transiting saturn near your ascendant is going to help you to set boundaries and see more through people before trusting them.

you may have an uncoscious desire to "save" your lover and blend in a perfect union. neptunians tend to be the most romantic people in earth.Lol, but this has this challenges as there is a lot of projection in the lover. features that are not there and we want to think there are... now with saturn approaching ascendant, you will have a chance to become more fact oriented and not be taken for a ride..

all the best,

NS

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nordicsoul
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posted April 10, 2016 03:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for nordicsoul     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Mars in the 12H conjunct Neptune... Since Mars stands for male significators in your life.
Hidden in the 12H of secrets, deceit, and the subconscious. Hidden enemies. Add Neptune to it and the effects are amplified, especially since Venus (although widely) squares your Neptune. The rose-colored glasses syndrome.
Moon in Cancer subconsciously attracts 'broken' people or people with issues as its fundamental role is that of the nurturer, the care-giver.
Venus in Virgo conjunct Saturn (although Jupiter is there as well) can point to issues around feeling worthy of male attention/love, because of high self-criticalness. Moon square Pluto intensifies this and can make you feel like you're not "feminine" enough, because Pluto has a hard effect on the Moon. It can also point to issues related to attachment and trust, as well as your own emotional power.

Your Sun is technically unaspected, meaning that there's a lack of defined/solid male/Yang energy in your life. That can also point to males having a larger-than-life effect on you, as they compensate for your lack of (possible) direction and sense of identity.

Chiron in the 5H of romance and love definitely adds a layer to the pain in romance, it's also opposite your DSC ruler Mercury, meaning that relationships are bound to be very scarring but also have the potential of being very healing and liberating.

Gemini on the DSC itself can give fickle, deceitful partners (it's not too bad all by itself though).

I think you need someone who aspects your Sun via flowing aspects, perhaps even a conjunction from a benefic such as Venus or Jupiter. Then the other person will "see" you, they will recognize your light, your core energy.

With Chiron in Taurus and Venus in Virgo there's that wound around the body, the attractiveness of it, and your fundamental worth as a woman. So perhaps those are things you still need to work on. Recognize your own value, your beauty, your worth. And not give it to people who don't deserve it or take advantage of it. Having enough power to say when enough is enough, and go after what you truly deserve.

At any rate, the emotional life will need a lot of tending to, that Moon square Pluto aspect usually needs to be worked on through relationships a lot, with a partner who is not afraid of vulnerabilities and going deep. You need support from a loved one, but you may also fear such closeness because that can hurt you so much deeper than someone who was never truly there for you. Ask yourself if a part of you feels more "comfortable" with people who aren't truly there for you, because you don't have to trust them, and in turn they can't really betray you.
Now I don't know, perhaps you do trust them and they seem genuinely good, and then they betray you... But at any rate, you have to understand what blocks you from being attracted/attracting someone who's genuinely got your best interests at heart. Perhaps a part of you is scared of surrendering to such intimacy.

ETA: tSaturn on your Mars is definitely doing its work - making you face the reality of things as they are now.
tUranus will soon square your Moon, which means a new way of seeing emotional attachment and relationships. Perhaps you'll take a break from "serious" dating/relationships and will only consider temporary flings; or you'll avoid relationships altogether. The other thing that could happen is that you will be emotionally unavailable at this time due to the bad experiences. Don't worry, it's part of the process. It's a time of restructuring your emotional life and your patterns. This is all for your best; eventually you'll come to realize some things and hopefully have a healthier view/pattern of attraction and attachment.


Very nice and thoroughly put

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Doux Rêve
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posted April 10, 2016 03:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you, nordicsoul.

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nordicsoul
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posted April 10, 2016 03:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for nordicsoul     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Koniucha:
Thank you for that. Everything is true.

Could my 12th house Saturn transit be making me feel this way too? I have been reexamining my whole life lately. And some days I just feel so alone in this world.


koniucha receive positive vibes from my little corner...

I think saturn transiting is a blessing in disguise. when saturn transiting your 12 moving all the unconscious content but as approaching to the AC is bringing to awareness what you have done unconsciusly to bring these experiences, what do you need to learn about you . the feeling of solitude is a universal human feeling, that of knowing that we are alone and not more in the blistful womb of the mother. neptunian people (added to cancer moon suggest a strong longing for fusion with the beloved. saturn now is showing that we all are separated and that you need to become more you and enjoy the solitude to be able to bring someone who is not a VAMPIRE and sucks all your energy.

one way to project less neptune in partner is to own your neptune more. for instance, meditation, artistic projects... I would suggest to find a neptunian passion that make the best of this energy and avoid overly projection of neptunian qualities...

my best

NS

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Koniucha
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posted April 10, 2016 04:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Koniucha     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you everyone for listening and responding. I do feel better talking about this.

@nordicsoul - How do I not project Neptunian qualities? I feel like it such a big part of who I am.

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hannaramaa
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posted April 11, 2016 01:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Dunno if it was already stated but your 7th is in your 12th... everyone else can see it but you can't. (I have it too! ) Didn't look at the aspects but I'm sure there's more evidence there.

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hannaramaa
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posted April 11, 2016 01:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yep, Mars / Neptune = guys with issues.

But then again when we meet people who suck maybe it's 5th house because it doesn't get that serious, like no commitment made kind of thing?

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nordicsoul
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posted April 11, 2016 04:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for nordicsoul     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Koniucha:
Thank you everyone for listening and responding. I do feel better talking about this.

@nordicsoul - How do I not project Neptunian qualities? I feel like it such a big part of who I am.


I don’t know exactly how the mechanism of projection works. We all project and the difference between some people is the awareness. The more aware we are of our projections, the more we have a chance to assemble our disintegrated parts of ourselves (persons) and become more whole. It also helps to stop the blaming cycle as if things that happen to us were independent of what we attract. In some way we attract what we need (in a spiritual sense) to become more whole. The projected object is a reminder of something unconscious or unlived. It can be qualities we like and find positive or qualities we don’t like and find negatives. The object of our projection is the mechanism our higher self “use” to become aware. It is like a reminder of something in the unconscious claiming for space in the entire personality.
You may exhibit many neptunian qualities and you may wonder how you can be projecting those qualities onto others. My guess is that some of them are still hidden from your awareness. For instances, you may be very artistic, but you may also have a strong need for something spiritual that help you to merge with something greater than yourself. The wound of separation from the womb, the wound from being an isolated human, the need for fusion with all-caring, all-embracing, all-loving and unconditional love. While these needs are common to all humans, in my experience, neptunians tend to have a stronger sensitivity to this need and to project more if Neptune aspect venus, venus in pisces, Neptune in 7th or venus in 12th. On the other hand, your cancer moon is very nurturing and needy if used only to nurture others, but also with the square to pluto very hungry emotionally. There is the sense that you have not received enough love from the mother or main caregiver. If a person is hungry emotionally, they cannot give without “sucking” so the giving is sort of conditioned to what is it for me? Or the bring people who “suck” their energy and give nothing in return.

How are you projecting neptunian qualities? My guess “here a hungry emotionally woman, with strong sensitivities to people’ needs and a strong capacity to nurture is not aware of her own wounded child and she is bringing these wounded children to her life through the partners she attract. What for? So she can heal them with her nurturing qualities. Her neptunian need for fussion and dissolution into something greater is projected into for instance an alcoholic” the relation between alcohol and ego dissolution is a neptunian theme and this alcoholic may be the projection of your need for ego dissolution.

What is to be done? Saturn transit is bringing awareness and a touch or reality. Although painful, it is a great teacher. I have made amends with Saturn and when you embrace his teaching, you start liking him. It is a good father and it is asking you to become more independent, to create boundaries to protect yourself, to be realistic in terms of expectations from others. LOL. As a cancer moon you have a strong capacity to self-nurture. Use that capacity to heal yourself in first place. How? As a sun-mars-venus cancer woman myself I have created my own rituals for self-nurturing. I also have moon-pluto square and Neptune in 7th quincunx moon. There are many possibilities and only you can find what suits your needs, but some examples from my repertoire includes meditation, taking time to do things I really love (not obligations from others), create an imaginary mother who unconditionally loves you and talks to you and caress you and embrace you when you need it. She is there and is loving.
All the best
NS

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