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Author Topic:   Fighting Suicidal Thoughts
Radium
Knowflake

Posts: 65
From:
Registered: Jul 2016

posted August 08, 2016 02:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Radium     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I apologize for the lengthy post but you know how I roll xD

Ongoing theme of my life. I have good months and bad months. Most of the time I'm okay but then there are those "days" where I literally become despair itself.

I've been blessed with the gift of having an empathetic and revolutionary mindset. I can see through a lot of crap. If I'm on a low streak I immediately reach out to my family and if I can't get into contact with them I call a Hotline. Yes, it gets that bad. I usually end up disappearing from everyone and everything. I'm such a Pisces it's unreal. I know I have control over my thoughts and I am an optimistic guy but sometimes, something triggers in my brain that says "what's the point?" Nothing truly matters in this world. We all chase tangibles with no spiritual or ethereal, conscious value. How is God happy with us? I am so sick of having these ruts because one day I feel I may actually take my life. This would be so tragic to everyone I know and love but most of all I'd be disappointed with myself, knowing I didn't complete my mission and went out like a wimp. I see the negative in everything I do when it comes to my work and craftsmanship. I put myself down and cannot seem to appreciate any type of love or compliments. I know who I am and I know that I really do not like myself. Its just the way I am. I know I am talented, handsome and probably a genius. I scored a 118 on an IQ test and apparently that's above average and the 2nd highest percentile, but I am also extremely depressive. The pride, ignorance and fakeness in our world is mind boggling. I have always felt I'd do great things but the only thing stopping me is my mental and spiritual limitations and practicality. I want to do so much for the world musically, I can't stop thinking about it. I want to really change something. As of late life has really been kicking my ass financially, mentally, and even consciously. I hate the concept of school or anything that feeds our poisonous government. I really do hate them. I even hate the idea of work. Because to me the only real work is that of which we benefit nature. Or primal, spiritual work. Doctors, Farmers and Artists make sense to me because they heal, inspire and feed the world. When it comes to anything such as being a Lawyer, a Teacher, a Car Salesman, or anything that benefits and only increases the greed of man I am disgusted. Because these jobs only fuel the needs and wants for that of man which is not pure. With this said I have been desperately looking for work to no avail. It's starting to anger my psyche. I wish I could just start working on my music now but I need an amp, a band, a better guitar, a laptop sooo many things before I can begin gigging. I even need a whack ass car. The need for such material things frustrates me. I don't know what causes this sense of unbalance in my chart that forces me to have such a hate for anything material. As a kid I always thought the world truly ran on love, compassion and freedom. And the fact I was lied too and many others makes me hate society. Feeding us these fairy tales all up to high school. The system doesn't care for anyone but money and themselves. I'm done with this place and I realize death is the only good thing about life.

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Electro DGX
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Posts: 1132
From: Plutanus/Uruno
Registered: Jul 2015

posted August 08, 2016 02:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Electro DGX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I may not be in your situation, but I understand the pain of feeling despair, when everything is hopeless and nothing feels like its right.

I gave up on the idea that this world is ran on love a long time ago. People seem to always preach the idea, but then when the contradictory idea of hatred seems to come into play, I can't understand. People seem to preach so much about love and understand and say that's what this world should be about, but if that's so, then why is this world so full of hatred? The reality is that the world itself is a place full of people bringing themselves to their demise due to their own arrogance and ignorance. People delude themselves into thinking that they're so great when they're really not, and often because this side of the world is always shown, I can't help but think, "This world is **** ."

Often I go through life with a changing mindset. At points I can be content with what I have, but often I feel as if I am not achieving what I should be. It's as if I'm supposed to be this great, revolutionary person that can do so much and excel at everything. That's a light I grew up in, but apparently the reality before me denies such. It tells me that I'm not as great as I thought or wanted to be, and that I'm just worthless scum. Often I feel that nothing I do turns out as great as I wanted it to be, or that I'm not as intelligent as I feel I should be, or that I am just worthless space meant to suffer for something unknown. What have I done to deserve this?

My emotional world in itself is a disaster. It can be as minor as making an expression that I misinterpreted to having someone dear to me die without any way for me to stop it as I'm forced to just stand there and watch everything I lived for fly away like dust, I will feel it deeply and intensely. Why the hell was I born on this earth? It has nothing for me, and I'm not doing anything great for it. It's all pointless, and I don't have a purpose; that's often what I think. Sometimes there are days when I just want to endlessly scream at everything in sight, just scream, scream, SCREAM at EVERYTHING because it HURTS.

But if you think about it, people seem to see us differently in contrast to how we see ourselves. It's insane the tremendous amount of self-loathing I can deliver, and yet people don't see me the same, at least those I consider to be worth my appreciation. I gave up on this world a long time ago, and so I don't see hope for humanity as far as I'm concerned. Yet, as contradictory as it seems, I am in desire for someone who can sooth all the pain I go through. All I ever feel anymore is loneliness; nobody truly loves me deeply enough to support me, and those I do love fade away. People love what I project, not who I am. Perhaps it's because I grew up in surroundings where I couldn't fully express myself, due to an inbound fear. It may have been because I was mentally abused and have grown up in such an emotional disaster. It's as if the world would rip my heart out and shred it to pieces if it could, because it sure as hell makes me feel like it would. Am I just a vessel for pain and suffering?

Yet, I couldn't ever bring myself to commit suicide. Perhaps the idea in itself is some sort of escape from the pain I go through, but I don't consider it. Why? With all the **** I go through, why would I not do something like such? Perhaps it's because I have no other choice. I don't know what's going to happen when I do such, and I don't know what's going to happen if I stay. Yet, I stay, because perhaps there is this little thing called hope lingering through my system. Despite all the pain I suffer, I continue to hope that there will be a time where it'll all change and I can continue on with my life in the grandest of fashions, the time where I can dispose of my baggage and understand why I'm here.

The only thing I can do best is to assure myself that everything will be okay, no matter how horrifying or painful the circumstances at hand are. It's the only method I can rely on, since nothing else works. Perhaps the idea of a true, physical transfer of energy between two beings who are willing to support each other because they care, but I don't have that right now. I'm still in search of it. I'm still trying to find that one person I can call mine and hold close to me, since I never can seem to find them.

Hope is your key. It is the most powerful tool in the universe, and with it many things can be accomplished. Perhaps even now isn't even the worst of it, that's why you must have hope. Keep on struggling through this, and keep fighting your way out in order to survive it all; no matter how horrible it may seem now, it will be worth it in the end. Keep going

------------------
Scorpio Ascendant
Aquarius Sun in 4th
Gemini Moon in 8th
Check out my blog ya'll: www.electrodgxtalks.wordpress.com

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Aries23Degrees
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Posts: 3186
From: South Africa
Registered: Dec 2012

posted August 08, 2016 09:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Radium:
I apologize for the lengthy post but you know how I roll xD

Ongoing theme of my life. I have good months and bad months. Most of the time I'm okay but then there are those "days" where I literally become despair itself.

I've been blessed with the gift of having an empathetic and revolutionary mindset. I can see through a lot of crap.

If I'm on a low streak I immediately reach out to my family and if I can't get into contact with them I call a Hotline. Yes, it gets that bad. I usually end up disappearing from everyone and everything.

I'm such a Pisces it's unreal. I know I have control over my thoughts and I am an optimistic guy but sometimes, something triggers in my brain that says "what's the point?" Nothing truly matters in this world.

We all chase tangibles with no spiritual or ethereal, conscious value. How is God happy with us?

I am so sick of having these ruts because one day I feel I may actually take my life. This would be so tragic to everyone I know and love but most of all I'd be disappointed with myself, knowing I didn't complete my mission and went out like a wimp.

I see the negative in everything I do when it comes to my work and craftsmanship. I put myself down and cannot seem to appreciate any type of love or compliments. I know who I am and I know that I really do not like myself.

Its just the way I am. I know I am talented, handsome and probably a genius. I scored a 118 on an IQ test and apparently that's above average and the 2nd highest percentile, but I am also extremely depressive.

The pride, ignorance and fakeness in our world is mind boggling. I have always felt I'd do great things but the only thing stopping me is my mental and spiritual limitations and practicality.

I want to do so much for the world musically, I can't stop thinking about it. I want to really change something. As of late ,life has really been kicking my ass financially, mentally, and even consciously.

I hate the concept of school or anything that feeds our poisonous government. I really do hate them. I even hate the idea of work. Because to me the only real work is that of which we benefit nature. Or primal, spiritual work.

Doctors, Farmers and Artists make sense to me because they heal, inspire and feed the world. When it comes to anything such as being a Lawyer, a Teacher, a Car Salesman, or anything that benefits and only increases the greed of man I am disgusted.

Because these jobs only fuel the needs and wants for that of man which is not pure. With this said I have been desperately looking for work to no avail. It's starting to anger my psyche.

I wish I could just start working on my music now but I need an amp, a band, a better guitar, a laptop sooo many things before I can begin gigging.

I even need a whack ass car. The need for such material things frustrates me. I don't know what causes this sense of unbalance in my chart that forces me to have such a hate for anything material.

As a kid I always thought the world truly ran on love, compassion and freedom. And the fact I was lied to and many others makes me hate society.

Feeding us these fairy tales all up to high school. The system doesn't care for anyone but money and themselves. I'm done with this place and I realize death is the only good thing about life.


Amen brother.

As a Sun/Neptune conjunct exact i really empathize.

I quit my job because of lack of fulfillment. And i havent told people that,because i dont want them judging me. So i tell them that the contract ended.

I

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Faith
Knowflake

Posts: 18808
From: Bella's Hair Salon
Registered: Jul 2011

posted August 08, 2016 09:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@Radium

Based on what you've said on this site, in your previous incarnation especially....

You engage with society too much. Leo Mars on the MC. Consider there must be a healthier way to exhibit this energy. It should be put to creative use, as in, creating a new reality for yourself.

No need to die over social media dramas or exasperation with The System.

The System is not Life.

Just retreat and learn to re-engage with life on different terms that you have never even considered before.

Your mind is young and small but your ego says you know everything you need to know already. Don't listen to your ego. There are treasures you never even heard of. Stay fully present in each moment and miracles will start to unfold. Read more spiritual books, they will teach you.

quote:
As of late life has really been kicking my ass financially, mentally, and even consciously. I hate the concept of school or anything that feeds our poisonous government. I really do hate them. I even hate the idea of work. Because to me the only real work is that of which we benefit nature. Or primal, spiritual work. Doctors, Farmers and Artists make sense to me because they heal, inspire and feed the world.

So what is stopping you from making this your career, and ignoring what bugs you? If we all did what made us happy, then civilization and the planet would change. Focusing too much on what makes us *unhappy* isn't as effective...it can lead to good people getting discouraged and just quitting on life.

PS Don't do drugs.

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 68168
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted August 08, 2016 09:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

------------------
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http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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Faith
Knowflake

Posts: 18808
From: Bella's Hair Salon
Registered: Jul 2011

posted August 08, 2016 09:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well my heart goes out to everyone because we are all in same crappy world if you think of it. So much crap to focus on but also so much good. It's just that when you are suffering you are blinded by that and unable to see the good. Sometimes it takes something outside of yourself to open your eyes and set you on a new path.

I don't mean to diminish the hardship of life whatsoever. But especially those of us who are older have suffered and recovered and know we are all more resilient than we give ourselves credit for, and life has all these amazing surprises that are worth sticking around for.

Also I think you people are brilliant and exactly what the world needs to heal. Compassionate, visionary people who understand hardship but are still standing despite the pain, and functioning, and being relatable...rebelling against the standing order in whatever way you can...that's the medicine for this world.

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DopGang
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Posts: 2695
From: INTJ
Registered: Jun 2015

posted August 08, 2016 10:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for DopGang     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
You engage with society too much. Leo Mars on the MC. Consider there must be a healthier way to exhibit this energy. It should be put to creative use, as in, creating a new reality for yourself.

No need to die over social media dramas or exasperation with The System.

The System is not Life.


Yes. I've been in this exact position for years and years. Very similar thoughts.
I could write a lengthy post about it. Maybe I will if I can get my thoughts in order. Right now I'm not even sure what to say exactly.

In my case, I discovered that I don't need a big audience. I follow what I love. If it's trendy then so be it. If it's not, fine. I don't view the system as broken and I've come to realize that spiritual pursuits are not for everyone. My sister for example. It's pretty much too much for her to think about. She's very much about the physical world. Not in a shallow way but she enjoys making others happy that way. Taking grandkids on adventures, etc.
I've learned that the spiritual realm and physical realm blend together. They are not completely separate. One can and does affect the other.
I think this is something that Pisces, Neptune, 12th needs. A blending of them. To learn to do what's necessary to recharge us. If we don't take time out to escape, to be ourselves and do what we love, whether or not anyone else is aware, we can't have the strength to help others. Also realizing that what brings energy to us is not the same for all. Some thrive on being social and on social media. That's fine. I dabble here and there. I need solitude and that's ok too. Each of us has things that lift us, it's important to discover it and through discovering it, we can bond through joy. To know that my friends and family are truly happy regardless of what it takes (other than harm caused to them or others), so be it.
Yes, there are sad things in the world, but there are benefits that tie into those. (It could be worse - not just seeing what's broken, but what's not broken. We ourselves are both broken and beautiful)

I don't know. It's like the whole thing is bigger than words, bigger than I can communicate. Maybe I didn't make sense.

(Kind of have written a lengthy post. )

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Faith
Knowflake

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From: Bella's Hair Salon
Registered: Jul 2011

posted August 08, 2016 10:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^

I agree with all of that.

I didn't mean to judge social media but people can get sucked into it without really seeing it's an unconscious addiction more than a conscious choice.

The whole point is to be conscious. I don't think it takes an ashram and meditation and crystals. It's quite simple and some people are naturally very conscious.

Also I do see the blending of practical and spiritual...

Like the way athletes can get into the zone by just being present and hyperalert to everything...almost supernaturally perceptive of how everything integrates: their muscles, the air or water resistance, their focus, all blending together.

And well, like Alan Watts said: "Zen does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes."

I try not to think of that when I'm peeling potatoes. I try to just peel potatoes.

I should go, my Gemini/Pisces mix can really hog up a thread like this....

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DopGang
Knowflake

Posts: 2695
From: INTJ
Registered: Jun 2015

posted August 08, 2016 10:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for DopGang     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^^^

Me too!

I think we're seeing things pretty much the same way.
That quote is awesome btw.

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Faith
Knowflake

Posts: 18808
From: Bella's Hair Salon
Registered: Jul 2011

posted August 08, 2016 10:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
I think we're seeing things pretty much the same way.

I think so, and thank you.

Peel potatoes, kids. We can solve problems this way.

Talk to y'all later.

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Doux Rêve
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Posts: 9872
From:
Registered: Dec 2010

posted August 08, 2016 11:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've been in a contemplative mood all day today, listening to calm/emotional music and now this...

There's definitely so much beauty in this world.
Sometimes I feel like I am filled with love and I am not sure how to express it, it's just there. I want to say "I love you", to anyone, or anything. We're all just a big family...

This post doesn't really add anything to the conversation, sorry.

Just, hang in there. You're part of the whole, just like everyone else. And you're never truly alone, even when the darkness comes... We're all in this together.

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Mergoatsun
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Posts: 782
From: USA Today
Registered: Aug 2015

posted August 08, 2016 12:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mergoatsun     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Don't lose hope. I've been where you've been, quite frequently because I have major depressive disorder, but depression is just a cloud fogging our lenses of life. If you try and remove the cloud you can see all that life has to offer. Yes the world is messed up, but it's always been messed up. As dumb as this sounds, focusing on the good and letting go the bad leads to a more satisfying life. I know that's really hard to do, but you have to hold on to hope. It might be hard now, and tomorrow and the next day, but one day it will get better. You can quote me on that.

------------------
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace."
-Dalai Lama

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BeholdAstarte
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Posts: 600
From: astral plane
Registered: Dec 2009

posted August 08, 2016 01:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BeholdAstarte     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm on the same boat, fighting with the same type of feelings.. ive been so sad lately.. I literally made my body sick by how stressed ive been. this year ive been having a lot of suicidal thoughts and sometimes just dying is a lot easier than dealing with the pain everyday. its crazy too cause ill also be very optimistic.. then something will trigger me and it just seems like everything is so far away.. it has to be an illusion but it still hurts so bad. I just don't know what the point of anything is.. a point of neutrality and objectivism sees everything as valid and invalid. I'm just so tired of processing everything.. feeling other peoples emotions, making my way through this reality, trying to just understand myself and my own emotions and how I project myself while understanding others and still accepting not being accepted while accepting. I feel worn down and beat down. I know who I am yet I don't at the same time..

maybe its my Jupiter opposing Saturn/Neptune/Uranus conj squaring my sun/mars/merc.. or maybe its my angular pluto.. ugh I don't even know. mars is making a square to my moon and today I have quit a bit of venus aspects.. I would think this would make times be easier.

I'm trying to heal myself.. I suppose even though the process feels so lonely its really not because I mean your not alone in these feelings and neither am I. its just this damn body that gives me despair, I'm ready to go home

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Radium
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Posts: 65
From:
Registered: Jul 2016

posted August 08, 2016 04:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Radium     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Electro DGX:
I may not be in your situation, but I understand the pain of feeling despair, when everything is hopeless and nothing feels like its right.

I gave up on the idea that this world is ran on love a long time ago. People seem to always preach the idea, but then when the contradictory idea of hatred seems to come into play, I can't understand. People seem to preach so much about love and understand and say that's what this world should be about, but if that's so, then why is this world so full of hatred? The reality is that the world itself is a place full of people bringing themselves to their demise due to their own arrogance and ignorance. People delude themselves into thinking that they're so great when they're really not, and often because this side of the world is always shown, I can't help but think, "This world is **** ."

Often I go through life with a changing mindset. At points I can be content with what I have, but often I feel as if I am not achieving what I should be. It's as if I'm supposed to be this great, revolutionary person that can do so much and excel at everything. That's a light I grew up in, but apparently the reality before me denies such. It tells me that I'm not as great as I thought or wanted to be, and that I'm just worthless scum. Often I feel that nothing I do turns out as great as I wanted it to be, or that I'm not as intelligent as I feel I should be, or that I am just worthless space meant to suffer for something unknown. What have I done to deserve this?

My emotional world in itself is a disaster. It can be as minor as making an expression that I misinterpreted to having someone dear to me die without any way for me to stop it as I'm forced to just stand there and watch everything I lived for fly away like dust, I will feel it deeply and intensely. Why the hell was I born on this earth? It has nothing for me, and I'm not doing anything great for it. It's all pointless, and I don't have a purpose; that's often what I think. Sometimes there are days when I just want to endlessly scream at everything in sight, just scream, scream, SCREAM at EVERYTHING because it HURTS.

But if you think about it, people seem to see us differently in contrast to how we see ourselves. It's insane the tremendous amount of self-loathing I can deliver, and yet people don't see me the same, at least those I consider to be worth my appreciation. I gave up on this world a long time ago, and so I don't see hope for humanity as far as I'm concerned. Yet, as contradictory as it seems, I am in desire for someone who can sooth all the pain I go through. All I ever feel anymore is loneliness; nobody truly loves me deeply enough to support me, and those I do love fade away. People love what I project, not who I am. Perhaps it's because I grew up in surroundings where I couldn't fully express myself, due to an inbound fear. It may have been because I was mentally abused and have grown up in such an emotional disaster. It's as if the world would rip my heart out and shred it to pieces if it could, because it sure as hell makes me feel like it would. Am I just a vessel for pain and suffering?

Yet, I couldn't ever bring myself to commit suicide. Perhaps the idea in itself is some sort of escape from the pain I go through, but I don't consider it. Why? With all the **** I go through, why would I not do something like such? Perhaps it's because I have no other choice. I don't know what's going to happen when I do such, and I don't know what's going to happen if I stay. Yet, I stay, because perhaps there is this little thing called hope lingering through my system. Despite all the pain I suffer, I continue to hope that there will be a time where it'll all change and I can continue on with my life in the grandest of fashions, the time where I can dispose of my baggage and understand why I'm here.

The only thing I can do best is to assure myself that everything will be okay, no matter how horrifying or painful the circumstances at hand are. It's the only method I can rely on, since nothing else works. Perhaps the idea of a true, physical transfer of energy between two beings who are willing to support each other because they care, but I don't have that right now. I'm still in search of it. I'm still trying to find that one person I can call mine and hold close to me, since I never can seem to find them.

Hope is your key. It is the most powerful tool in the universe, and with it many things can be accomplished. Perhaps even now isn't even the worst of it, that's why you must have hope. Keep on struggling through this, and keep fighting your way out in order to survive it all; no matter how horrible it may seem now, it will be worth it in the end. Keep going


I will man I will keep hoping. All the love brother, maybe one day though we can see a more peaceful and less prideful world with people like you bless

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Radium
Knowflake

Posts: 65
From:
Registered: Jul 2016

posted August 08, 2016 04:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Radium     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
^

I agree with all of that.

I didn't mean to judge social media but people can get sucked into it without really seeing it's an unconscious addiction more than a conscious choice.

The whole point is to be conscious. I don't think it takes an ashram and meditation and crystals. It's quite simple and some people are naturally very conscious.

Also I do see the blending of practical and spiritual...

Like the way athletes can get into the zone by just being present and hyperalert to everything...almost supernaturally perceptive of how everything integrates: their muscles, the air or water resistance, their focus, all blending together.

And well, like Alan Watts said: "Zen does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes."

I try not to think of that when I'm peeling potatoes. I try to just peel potatoes.

I should go, my Gemini/Pisces mix can really hog up a thread like this....


The only thing that makes me conscious and hyper alert is music

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ilunatique
Knowflake

Posts: 544
From: neptune
Registered: Jun 2014

posted August 08, 2016 04:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ilunatique     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
funny... just these days (especially today) im having a hard time coping with existence

since i was very small.. 10.. i didnt feel like i belonged here. (and i dont lol) i wanted to die so bad.

my life is a never ending journey of finding ways to ignore the bottomless dark sad hole inside of myself


i constantly find things to do during the day so i can avoid this constant depression i have. obsessive cleaning, arranging things, re arranging...etc

i wish i had a bandaid, like most people do. music.. drawing…. watching tv series

i cant find that.. and whenever i am laying down or simply relaxing…. it all hits me and i break down and i cry for hours

its funny how killing yourself cant be so effective. you can shoot yourself two times and live in a wheelchair. jump from a building and survive. pills wont work all the time.......

its hard.

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hypatia238
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Posts: 4508
From: Fort Collins, CO
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posted August 08, 2016 05:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart for all the pain you are in. All I can say is that I am sorry and I wish you were not going through this and that I hope sooner than later things start to look up for you.

I feel you about our educational system trust me but that is the current system we have sadly and you have to work with it up to a certain point so you can reach certain goals, its reality. You have to find something you can do that can pay the bills that you can live with doing that will make you feel you are making somewhat of a difference since that is important to you.

Been a car salesman is not bad though, it may not be your calling but its a job that pays the bills and cars are a wonderful invention not bc of the status it comes with bc its not about having a super nice car is about having the freedom to move.

Anyways I truly hope you find a job soon and wish you the best.

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Sulkyarcher
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Posts: 581
From:
Registered: Dec 2013

posted August 08, 2016 05:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sulkyarcher     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes, the world can be a nasty place. Especially the government and those in power.

But it sounds like you take in too much energy, too much vibrations. Could it be you might have depression, and not know it?

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Belage
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Posts: 2342
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 08, 2016 07:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Belage     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
There are a number of cosmic factors at play. The square of Saturn to Neptune has been happening for months now, and since both are slow planets, the effects are profound. Adding to this the North Node and Jupiter traveling in Virgo, the sign opposite Pisces, the collective psyche has been experiencing higher depression than usual.

Jupiter is in its detriment in Virgo. Saturn is in a sign usually occupied by Jupiter, so you can imagine how this T square is playing out: Debilitated planets acting out and giving us not pearls of wisdom but sowing confusion and despair.

Understand, we are all affected by these times. Idealism and love of mankind, symbolized by Pisces and Neptune have taken a hit from cold, calculating Saturn in a sign it is ill suited for. And the South Node being in Pisces, Piscean people are feeling like they are on quicksand. Neptune in Pisces is not grounding them, but making them yearn to escape, and suicidal ideation is a form of escape.

What can we do?

On a collective level, many among us, especially the neptunian and jupiterian types are asked to let go of a certain type of idealism and rose-colored glasses and face reality. We don't like that reality, but we have to learn to make peace with it. For now. After Saturn moves out of Sagg, after the NN moves out of Virgo, and Jupiter moves out of its detriment in Virgo, things will stop being looking so warped and even reality will become clearer.

We are also on the verge of 3 eclipses starting August 18. So tension will be higher than usual in the months to come. Brace yourself and hang on. Try not to do anything drastic. Go with the flow. find a way to stay grounded. Avoid overly negative people and environment. Have faith. Neptune is in its element in Pisces, so it will prevail.

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hypatia238
Moderator

Posts: 4508
From: Fort Collins, CO
Registered: Sep 2014

posted August 08, 2016 08:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Belage:
There are a number of cosmic factors at play. The square of Saturn to Neptune has been happening for months now, and since both are slow planets, the effects are profound. Adding to this the North Node and Jupiter traveling in Virgo, the sign opposite Pisces, the collective psyche has been experiencing higher depression than usual.

Jupiter is in its detriment in Virgo. Saturn is in a sign usually occupied by Jupiter, so you can imagine how this T square is playing out: Debilitated planets acting out and giving us not pearls of wisdom but sowing confusion and despair.

Understand, we are all affected by these times. Idealism and love of mankind, symbolized by Pisces and Neptune have taken a hit from cold, calculating Saturn in a sign it is ill suited for. And the South Node being in Pisces, Piscean people are feeling like they are on quicksand. Neptune in Pisces is not grounding them, but making them yearn to escape, and suicidal ideation is a form of escape.

What can we do?

On a collective level, many among us, especially the neptunian and jupiterian types are asked to let go of a certain type of idealism and rose-colored glasses and face reality. We don't like that reality, but we have to learn to make peace with it. For now. After Saturn moves out of Sagg, after the NN moves out of Virgo, and Jupiter moves out of its detriment in Virgo, things will stop being looking so warped and even reality will become clearer.

We are also on the verge of 3 eclipses starting August 18. So tension will be higher than usual in the months to come. Brace yourself and hang on. Try not to do anything drastic. Go with the flow. find a way to stay grounded. Avoid overly negative people and environment. Have faith. Neptune is in its element in Pisces, so it will prevail.


Thanks for breaking it down astrologically like you did! and the heads up about the eclipses in August.

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colorful butterfly
Knowflake

Posts: 438
From: Durham north carolina usa
Registered: May 2015

posted August 08, 2016 10:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for colorful butterfly     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm not the best astrology expert but I do study psychology and have been threw that statistics say I should be checked out already on some level. We all go down in life but it is hope, love and faith that pulls you threw. I've learned you really have to correct the inner to see a different outter. What you focus on will manifest. Instead of thinking on all that is wrong think on all that is going right. You know your lifes purpose is a start. You know your musically inclined and that you have something great to offer. Understanding everything happens for a reason and that its ok to not have all the answers. One day you will!!! The dots will connect and you will understand why everything happens thw way it does. What alot of what people see right now is oposition and it creates fear. Fear is just an emotion and it only holds us back. See every fear as a obstical and challenge. Its hard to do but have faith and yourself and the universe. There are just as many good people as thier are bad ones. People have good and bad in them, we are only human and flawed. One can not exist without the other, people become saints beacuse of the wicked or curup in the world. Just know good predominants in you and that means you are here to heal the broken and the lost.

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colorful butterfly
Knowflake

Posts: 438
From: Durham north carolina usa
Registered: May 2015

posted August 08, 2016 11:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for colorful butterfly     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Also people that are water signs are feelers, we are here to feel and to understand emotions. This is going to allow you to heal others once you overcome this yourself. You could be absorbing things too much, learning how to block these things so you can process is vital to your wellbeing.

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venus2tinkerbell
Knowflake

Posts: 1988
From: the baseball hall of fame
Registered: Nov 2014

posted August 08, 2016 11:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for venus2tinkerbell     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
When you feel so much and you don't think you see anyone else freaking out the way you are inside you start to think it might be you. You were made the way you were made for a reason. And the same One that made you left you natural gifts to assist you in being whoever you need to be and in doing whatever you need to do.

I started working with Crystals & Gems just a few days ago, and the results have been astounding. Being a Pisces, you'll know just what to do with them. and as sensitive as you are to the world around you? your receptivity to the power of these stones will match that sensitivity. And you will feel empowered by your sensitivity. That's what I believe and that's what I hope for you.

eta: I should add that while other useless and even harmful things cost us two days work, these incredibly effective and valuable stones cost very little.

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Belage
Knowflake

Posts: 2342
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 09, 2016 12:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Belage     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hypatia238:
Thanks for breaking it down astrologically like you did! and the heads up about the eclipses in August.

You're welcome, Hypatia

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charlie
Knowflake

Posts: 3798
From:
Registered: Jun 2012

posted August 09, 2016 09:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for charlie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Solitude is key. Nature is key. Doing things YOU really like is key. I also had these periods when younger and I used to panic and "reach out" to people because I felt I was all alone in the world but that backfired. Took me a good few decades to realize that what I was looking for no thing or other being can bring me.

I also let myself be down. In fact, when low I make myself even lower!! Depressing movies, depressing music and depressing everything. Once I reach "bottom" and have explorerd those feelings in depth; without fearing them, I re-surface. Transformed! Don't ever fear darkness, friend.

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