posted September 17, 2016 09:11 PM            

I know it sometimes seems like everyone says they don't fit in, but I always find myself either being on the outside (somewhat, or really outside), or just having strong different feelings about certain things. I don't want to go into it right now, and I suppose I shouldn't be surprised with Uranus all over my chart, but do you experience this? (collective "you" since I don't know who might click on this).

It seems like this is true of me, no matter what. I might fit in just fine if I don't open my mouth about certain things, but I feel compelled to either defend viewpoints, or to defend other people. I'm a member of a board that has nothing to do with LL, a private board full of really lovely people, but I still stick out like a sore thumb.

I'm not close to a lot of people, and find it difficult to really trust - I'll be fine for a while, and then anxiety will kick in and I'll back off for a while. This is all due to actual bullying I've dealt with before, and in recent years (and dealing with weirdness).

I've just been thinking a lot about this lately. I used to have healthy relationships. I used to be more cheerful, and proactive, and this didn't start out to be a whiny post - I don't need anyone to cheer me up, I'm just getting upset as I think about it. I might edit this out later, although I've been trying to cure myself of that.

posted September 17, 2016 10:19 PM            

Uranus, in the same vein as Aries, likes to see all sides of an opinion. It's almost lazy to do otherwise. When everyone agrees in unison, it's easy to feel suspicious of that. Uranus thinks, "if this is a common thought.. can it possibly be right? What are the other sides to this? If I offer a dissenting opinion, maybe we can all discuss and learn". Uranus is not satisfied with anything less than multifacetedness.

Now, most people.. have tribal instincts. They feel good to go with the status quo, and they feel good when other people agree with them. The average, run of the mill person is uncomfortable by things that are different, and that includes opinions they find foreign to what is commonly accepted. By offering something new, they immediately recoil. It's just how society is.

posted September 17, 2016 10:23 PM            

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posted September 17, 2016 10:31 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
I've just realized that the eclipse spanned my 5th and 11th houses. No wonder I'm thinking more about this.

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posted September 17, 2016 10:46 PM            

For me, you know, the usual that I usually bring up. 12th and blah blah. Outer planets all factor in fairly heavily in my chart also though, Neptune, Uranus, Pluto, not so much Saturn though maybe I'm wrong.
When I was younger, ugh. It was a complete nightmare thinking that I needed to "fit in" somewhere but I couldn't. What's funny about it is I had various groups or individuals that I could go hang out with. Hip-Hop guys, Goth Kids, Geeks, Loners. It didn't matter. I was accepted by all of them. They liked me and I never understood why. No matter how much they liked me, it never felt right. I struggled with depression, feeling alone (though I wasn't really). I felt like I didn't belong. I felt like I didn't have a.. I guess, Personality to bring to the table. I didn't have anything to make me stand out.

Now that I'm older and over all of that. I found a big source of the issue. I felt like I didn't belong because I didn't identify with any of those groups. I couldn't "get on board" with them. I wasn't as passionate about the goth scene, or geek scene, or hip-hop, etc. It was like they lived it, daily. I visited occasionally. So where I did I live, in this world?

Now, I understand my uniqueness. I understand those things that drain my energy and those things that give me energy. I realized that it's a lot different than many other people. There are quite a few that are like me. Being that I recharge by being alone, I never realized that others felt the same until the internet. At least now I am comfortable, for the most part, in doing what I need to in order to stay basically balanced. Whew!

So now I see it as, perhaps a bit odd, but that I shine my own light into the world. I don't need to fit in with anything. I go about my life, leaving whatever mark I make where I make it.
Funny that you bring this up though. Because I'm not concerned about fitting in with anything. It's more like, I have faults. I have struggles. I struggle with communication and I struggle with relationships. I've been reading a lot about my personality type (INTJ). Jeez, relationships are hard for us. We're just not wired to live in emotion, which is what much of the world seems to be seeking.
If anyone has checked out Enneagram tests, it's really cool! I'm a 6w5. Similar to INTJ.
So what I struggle with, and I've been struggling with it today in fact. Maybe the last few days. As people, it seems there is one universal truth - we're social.
That's a problem for me. I seem to not be nearly as interested in being social as others and I'm not very good at it. So, then what? Why am I here? I don't mean that like, "Oh well I should just die and be done with it." I just sit here and wonder.... "What am I here for?"

posted September 17, 2016 10:52 PM            

I have Aquarius ASC with Uranus in my 11th, conjunct Saturn (in my 12th) and Neptune (also in my 11th). Pluto is square my ASC, so that might add to reason why I "stick out" and can't seem to fit in.

At some point, I know I just have to be okay with not fitting in, but it's really hard to do that and ignore criticisms. I suspect being a Virgo makes it more difficult - I want to blend into the background like a wallflower and not stick out. But my chart just does not allow that.

ETA: I understand about speaking up. I struggle constantly with: do I say something? Do I not say something? I went through a mute period when I was younger, where I didn't say anything. Now that the silence has "broken" I feel generally better when I say something, but then I have to deal with the reactions to my seemingly unpopular opinion. Sometimes it seems like more trouble to speak up than to stay quiet and ignore topics that I feel strongly about. But then that gets me nowhere, too.

posted September 17, 2016 10:59 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:

If anyone has checked out Enneagram tests, it's really cool! I'm a 6w5. Similar to INTJ.

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posted September 17, 2016 11:13 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by moongaze:
I love MBTI and enneagram too! I'm either an INFP or ISFP and a 4w3 sp/sx in enneagram. Personality theories are great to look into in order to understand yourself and others better.

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posted September 17, 2016 11:31 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:
Very cool. I've been thinking of making a thread, but I am not sure where, and if I want to link astrology to it.

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You should go for it.

posted September 18, 2016 06:23 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by theunknown:
Hm... I don't think you stick out like a sore thumb on this board. Am I missing something?

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I don't think you do either, actually but you've a distinct name and presence that seems very mellow and easygoing in fact. It reminds me of when I confided in a former boss I felt like I made others nervous because I was so nervous and he said that I was very calming. Looking back because I was fighting so much inside and my brain was on this other plane I could relate to others but I never felt I did.

posted September 18, 2016 10:08 AM            

I think of this song when I think if plutonic ppl
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aYfvOCywV0c

Sometimes we expect ppl to at least suffer a bit to understand where we stand but the healing part really comes from understanding there's nothing wrong with being fluffy and superficial.

posted September 18, 2016 10:30 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by StubbornVirgo:
You should go for it.

Btw, I'm an INTJ, too.

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posted September 18, 2016 10:38 AM            

teasel, as I see it, you fit in perfectly here.

posted September 18, 2016 10:49 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by theunknown:
I think of this song when I think if plutonic ppl
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aYfvOCywV0c

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posted September 18, 2016 11:00 AM            

When I'm surrounded by other people who don't feel like they fit in, I'm fine. Generally. As long as they're not too normal.

I assume this is Saturn in my 11h, and Uranus conjunct my IC (so opposite my MC), and probably a bit of the Pluto in 3h, making the square to my Saturn. I know you have that square as well, but I'm not sure which houses the planets fall in...

I had a terrible time in school adjusting to junior high, etc. Until then my Leo Asc was in charge, and I was confident, in charge as a kid, etc. But life circumstances sort of beat me down. It wasn't until I moved to a nice, diverse city where I could meet all kinds of people that I started to feel "normal" socially.

Now that I'm no longer living there, it's hard. I don't look like the people who live in this area (I would never choose to), and I do feel as though I stand out...again. I don't care to stand around talking about the Bible or some fixer upper show on TV, and I don't raise my kids in a very traditional manner. So I don't have much to talk about with people my age here, and I'm mildly horrified sometimes by what their interests include. I find it insufferably boring, and I suspect they find me very weird.

So, meh. It is what it is. I have a small handful of very good friends, and I don't even often open up to them about the stuff that really bothers me. But I know they're there to laugh with or send a text or msg when something absurd happens, etc.

Well, I'm rambling as well, lol.
When I open my mouth around people, I often feel like my Aquarius Mercury or some sort of Sag influence is at work, causing me to blurt out opinions that might personally offend people. That's always delightful.

Anyway, you're not the only one, Teasel. And I generally blame weird 11h stuff and Uranus for this type of thing.

posted September 18, 2016 03:34 PM            

Sure life is difficult, but most people bore me to death, I'm a proud loner, popular stuff could interest me if it happens to have any quality and depth to it.

It's not even a question of agreeing or disagreeing with anyone, I don't even take into consideration other people's opinions 90% of the time, I have high standards, if I don't consider you a genius, I won't even bother to listen to your advice. It's horrible how I disregard almost everyone, especially my family, they probably don't know what the hell I'm all about, luckily, they're all air signs so they don't bother either and it should stay that way...

posted September 19, 2016 10:33 AM            

I dont think most people are fully comfortable with who they are and that's why they have troubles standing alone on their own feet.

Perhaps people who are into astrology seem out of the mainstream but virtually anyone I have met has some deep dark secrets somewhere.

Astrology is just a hobby. I'll take that over someone with baggages and emotional issues.

For your case, Teasel, if you dont fit in the bucket of saturnian, plutonian etc, that just means you have a more balance chart that no planet is overpowering.

posted September 19, 2016 01:34 PM            

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