posted December 03, 2016 11:00 AM            

It's not only about anger, it's about being passive and repressing ones needs (and that's what causes anger), and also not being assertive, as we might have been programmed that being assertive is something "bad" people do and it's wrong. Or that we had to submit ourselves to the will of others' because if we had our own ideas, then the consequences were usually bad. Or if we tried to express a stronger negative emotion the consequences were even worse.

So yesterday we had a company event and we had this photo booth thing where you could take crazy pictures with various objects, and I just happened to grab and put on some boxing gloves and it was like in the Danish girl movie (if you guys have seen it), when the main character puts on a woman's dress for the first time and he feels like wow, I feel alive and myself for the first time.
I know it sounds a bit crazy but this is how I felt with those boxing gloves on my hands I felt strong, but not in the sense that I want to beat up someone, it was something like, I have this power, it's my power and I feel alive. It felt so natural, like I was a boxer in my previous life, and I just realised it, lol.

So yeah, I've been thinking that I'd definitely need to try out some martial arts or something along these lines. Even though there is still this voice inside me saying that I shouldn't do something like this, that's not me, I should just let others to express this energy assertively. But I can't continue repressing because it started affecting my health and my whole life.

posted December 04, 2016 12:32 AM            

By interesting coincidence (?), I'm exploring something about human nature that I don't wish to derail this thread with (though this is why I asked what I did in this thread ), but I am thinking that astrology could explain why some value the power within rather than the power outside themselves to submit to in exchange for being taken care of (and even seeing their lack of inner power as a virtue, to forever be a princess but not a queen, for example, though it goes much deeper than that, and can even give one's self points for being near helpless). I'm pretty sure that Pluto-Mars is very important in this matter (which is sextile for me rather than squared, and I may share my own personal experiences later, but I'm not in the mood to do so right now).

And discovering a strength within yourself, even in something like boxing, is a liberating experience, at least for some of us. Contrary to popular belief, it's not all about raw muscular strength, and you're a lot tougher mentally and physically more than you realize, something many will try to keep you from discovering (and to keep themselves from realizing it about themselves) because you're not so easy to control and manipulate if you realize it.

Speaking on martial arts itself, be aware that there is a difference between learning to fight in a tournament and how to defend yourself on the streets. I'm not saying the version for tournaments is useless (and I knew a capable street fighter who won ribbons in tournaments herself, and interesting enough, those focused on self-defense over the sport would find it harder to win in a tournament if they tried), but if you want to feel confident out in the world then look for self-defense over tournaments. This isn't even based on style, but rather how that style is taught and learned. There are organizations that can help you with finding which one you want. (Also be aware of those which are big on selling gear, they tend to award belts and the like based on ability to pay rather than actual proficiency.)

You might also like to read this book (and find it helpful), written by a female boxer:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004ZH1M6U/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

posted December 04, 2016 02:23 AM            

Another outlet I've found are the creative outlets, painting, singing, dancing, whatever your hobbies are. Creative outlets are less complicated than sex I've found, as one can do it alone.

Another outlet I used in the past is buying a punching bag( you can even use a pillow), and punching/kicking( whatever one wants, one can even murder it with a knife, no problem) the crap out of it. This, you can use to release your pent-up anger and frustration.

The best outlet I've found is meditation. There are meditative techniques related to anger, this is one of them http://www.meditationiseasy.com/meditation-techniques/meditation-technique-no-24/ . If you want to own it, this will help you.
There's this another technique I've heard of( haven't experimented with it yet, but it seems more applicable in daily life than the one I've mentioned above). If you're p!ssed at someone, wait for 24 hours before you react, this is the technique.

Maintaining regularity is a must for everything I've suggested above.

posted December 04, 2016 09:30 AM            

There are many threads of thoughts that are popping into my head now in the same time, I'll try to detangle them somehow.

I've been observing parents (I don't have children and probably won't) and got to the unsettling conclusion that in most of the parent-child relationships there is this strong power element, as in, children are means for these parents to exercise their powers on. These parents probably don't have any other outlet in their life so they find their child the perfect subject for their need to express their power.
I know I might be as well projecting, but this is not relevant here as I'm discussing my perspective anyway.
I think this shows how strongly demonised and repressed and misunderstood power actually is in our society. But yeah, nothing can be repressed for long.

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:

I am thinking that astrology could explain why some value the power within rather than the power outside themselves to submit to in exchange for being taken care of (and even seeing their lack of inner power as a virtue, to forever be a princess but not a queen, for example, though it goes much deeper than that, and can even give one's self points for being near helpless). I'm pretty sure that Pluto-Mars is very important in this matter

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Staying in the realm of the early childhood examples, I believe (and have experienced) that many times there is this early programming about making one believe that the power within them is not only a bad, dark, unwanted thing to uncover, but also something very dangerous, and unsafe, so they are convinced somehow that releasing that inner power would not only destroy others around them, but also they themselves would be much safer and happier if they would just give it up. As in "this is how society works".

I recently started participating in a coaching program and among other things, started working with uncovering and releasing old belief and energy patters. I don't want to get too personal here, but I discovered some very strong connections between feeling safe and secure and giving up the power to others. (this can manifest in simple life situations like not speaking up in a work meeting and also in other more complex ones)

So, I came to believe that a simple decision to change is not enough, at least in my case, the roots of the issue being very deeply embedded (Pluto of course).

The energy work I'm doing is very cool though, it's based on visualisations and I know it's not for everyone. Digging deep down sheds light on a lot of things, and the more you dig, the more messy it gets but one of the effects is realising, as you said, that real security is within.

But as I'm digging all this repressed energy is starting to show up and knowing myself, I need some discipline (and I'm not a Saturn fan) to let it out, and more importantly to learn how to use it in a balanced way. That's why I thought about martial arts.

I could write pages on this subject, I'm really fascinated with this. Going deeper astrologically, by looking into the sign and house can make this subject even more interesting.

posted December 04, 2016 10:01 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
Mars/Pluto at its core is sexual energy in my opinion. I have the square as well. And few years ago, when I turned celibate for few months I basically turned into an angry mofo 24/7. When one represses sexual energy, it turns into anger. I have a feeling that people who commit sexual violence are the ones who try to repress their sexual energy, and then one day they lose their control over it and it simply explodes resulting in them becoming completely possessed by it. So, sex is a good outlet in my opinion, but it is slightly complicated as it involves your partner too.

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Yeah, I also believe there is a lot of sexual energy behind a Mars Pluto, and I noticed with the conjunction it is somehow playing out in a more straight forward way, though both people I know who have this have it in Libra. One is just doing whatever she wants, but she is married with two children and still manages to go crazy, and you can feel the power flowing through her. The other is a guy who has the calm and smiley serial killer look but you know something is burning inside there. Still, they have it somehow embedded in their personality, it seems.

With the square there is this inner tension - sometimes I was thinking, at least if I would have the opposition that would manifest in "real life", as obstacles, or enemies or something (though I had this when younger), and not like, in the case of the square, being our own worse enemy or biggest obstacle.
Because this is the sad truth I'm starting to realise, that I am the only one stopping me. In the same time, I'm also realising that it is as legit as an outside obstacle, because what matters is the perception of it.

Now, here the Mars sign is important I think because with Mars in Cancer, what I have, it adds to the tension, as this Mars wouldn't really want to express itself directly anyway. But the constant push from Pluto I guess helps the Cancer Mars to awaken, in a way, or else... So the repression is felt even stronger, I believe.

Coming back to the sexual energy, yeah, there can be a lot of shame around this, from childhood, but I guess this depends.
And when you are a woman you are socialised to repress anger, so much, you get to the point where you don't even know you have it.
This is the only reason why I'd like to be a man, lol. When I see men talking and they just can say "screw you", to the other, or they can just directly express their anger, before it turns into thunderstorm in the outside or Plutonian hell inside. I guess this is why I like to have male friends, I feel somehow more free with them. But it's sad when I feel I have to restrict myself around women.

posted December 05, 2016 06:55 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
That being said, men too are conditioned to behave in what is labeled as a "masculine" way, "only little boys cry, real men don't cry booohoo".

Talking about behavioral change, raw expression will scare people off for sure. If I speak whatever comes up in my mind here in LL, I wouldn't last a week ( and if done in real life I'll end up in a prison or someone will kill me lol) , so most of the time I say what I want but tone it down, word it in a more "civilized" way. I think finding people around whom you can be yourself will be helpful.

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Yeah, and I don't see much difference between the conditionings related to repressing anger and repressing emotions/crying is bad. I had experienced both. It's both emotional repression and both suck.

posted December 05, 2016 10:07 PM            

I second martial arts. It helps with self-discipline. I like non-combative styles.

posted December 06, 2016 11:42 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Cinnamon sky:
Yeah, and I don't see much difference between the conditionings related to repressing anger and repressing emotions/crying is bad. I had experienced both. It's both emotional repression and both suck.

Interesting what you are saying about raw expression and "toning down". I've always felt that I'm constantly censoring myself, not to seem too intense, too much, keep the fire inside, not to burn someone... For a long time I though everyone does that, just to realise that nope, they are not. Or, their anger, for example is so unconscious that they are not even aware of that.

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posted December 07, 2016 04:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by 12muddy:
Something like a virgorous session of soil tilling does wonders.

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posted December 07, 2016 05:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
Umm, yes I can relate to censoring...these days I simply enjoy the fire burning within me, its so warm lmfao, once you're in tune with it, you'll enjoy it too, I literally feel the heat, maybe its the yang energy. During my childhood, around the age of 5-6, I used to pretend being a leopard(its my favorite animal), and walk on all fours in my room, roaring, climbing the sofa, bed, coming down, it made me feel so alive. I still love watching the big cats, although I don't walk on all fours anymore( maybe you should give it a shot, just to get in touch with the animal )

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Lol, after I stopped laughing I tried this for a minute, I think I scared the crap out of my teddy bear But I see your point, anything works that keeps this energy moving, which is usually kept under strict control during daytime...

posted December 08, 2016 11:20 AM            

Nah, I'm an Aqua Mars actually, did you guess I might be a Leo Mars from my love for big cats? I do like those show-offs, their hair, the way they dance .

posted December 08, 2016 11:22 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Cinnamon sky:
I've never in my life thought of trying that but if it's VIRGOrous , as you said, it's definitely a sign that I should give it a go

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posted December 08, 2016 03:07 PM            

Boxing, contact sports, vigorous athletics, martial arts, something that puts force into action to let those energies out so you can relax more.

More power to ya.

posted December 08, 2016 06:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
lol which animal did you pretend to be to have scared the crap out of a bear if you don't mind me asking ?

Nah, I'm an Aqua Mars actually, did you guess I might be a Leo Mars from my love for big cats? I do like those show-offs, their hair, the way they dance .

Is your Pluto in Libra ?

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Haha, tbh, I haven't put much thought into defining such details, I just spontaneously went for it. It was along the lines of something with four legs though, but I feel it was less relevant in that moment. But it actually felt amazing, my inner beast felt somehow more involved in it than in a regular pillow punching action.
Anyway, I think this was already too much information shared lol.

Otherwise, yeah, I thought Leo Mars in your case because I had this impression of more of a fixed kind of energy there, but also because of the big cats part and when you said that you enjoy letting the fire burn inside. But yeah, Aqua is fixed as well, so I was close I don't know many Aqua Marses.

posted December 08, 2016 06:46 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Kannon McAfee:
Cinnamon sky, you are definitely on the right track. Martial-Plutonian folks normally need a strong physical outlet for their aggression, which should not be seen as just anger 'issues.' You simply have stronger eruptive energies that need to be released in some form so that you can martial them.

Boxing, contact sports, vigorous athletics, martial arts, something that puts [b]force into action to let those energies out so you can relax more.

More power to ya.

[/B]

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Thanks for the suggestions. What's interesting that I've always seen myself as one with very limited amount of energy, but I think this was more about how I actually use the energy. Also, the act of repressing uses up a lot of the energy, so then you feel like your energy levels are low, that is until you get in touch with it and then you're in for a surprise.

posted December 08, 2016 07:58 PM            

I love yoga though and I've been doing it everyday for almost 10 years now. it really helps calm my ADHD.

I also love boxing, dancing, running and my absolutely most favorite is swimming! (mars in cancer)

posted December 10, 2016 09:18 AM            

I believe that if this aspect native can physically exhaust itself the mind NATURALLY mellows out. I find I'm at my worst when I sleep in on a weekend & don't work out- I'm mentally AMPED and armed.

I starting boxing early this year on top of daily running, weight training & Pilates for a physical release.

I've always written in a journal spastically and have been painting for a while for a mental release. Chill/blues type music helps me too.

I have aries mars conjunct MC
Mars square Saturn/Uranus
Mars biquintile Pluto

posted December 10, 2016 09:23 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Cinnamon sky:
Yeah, and I don't see much difference between the conditionings related to repressing anger and repressing emotions/crying is bad. I had experienced both. It's both emotional repression and both suck.

Interesting what you are saying about raw expression and "toning down". I've always felt that I'm constantly censoring myself, not to seem too intense, too much, keep the fire inside, not to burn someone... For a long time I though everyone does that, just to realise that nope, they are not. Or, their anger, for example is so unconscious that they are not even aware of that.

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Yes! I consciously remind myself to word responses in a better accepted way - so basically i still say the same thing but it comes out charming and therefore released with minimal to no burn :P

Two books I found that helped me understand some roots of my anger: "The road less traveled" by M.Scott Peck,md & "The untethered Soul" by Michael A. Singer.

posted December 10, 2016 11:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Cinnamon sky:
Another practice which I think is related here, but more on a mental level, is a kind of automatic writing. Normally automatic writing is a very good mind clearing exercise, but in my case, I have a lot of violent thoughts sometimes and I'm usually repressing them, not allowing myself to have these "unacceptable" thoughts.
But I found that doing this automatic writing exercise (just writing out what comes up, without censoring it), is very good for releasing these thoughts, which are energies as well and they are weighing you down if not released and pushed down.
Of course, after I'm done I just tear the pages (into very small unreadable pieces just to be sure ) and throw them away.

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posted December 10, 2016 11:35 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Cinnamon sky:

Otherwise, yeah, I thought Leo Mars in your case because I had this impression of more of a fixed kind of energy there, but also because of the big cats part and when you said that you enjoy letting the fire burn inside. But yeah, Aqua is fixed as well, so I was close I don't know many Aqua Marses.

My Pluto is in Libra, second house. I feel this adds to the survival aspect here. There is this "always need to be on guard" kind of feel around this.

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lol yeah, pillow isn't that helpful in unleashing the beast .