posted December 26, 2016 03:35 AM            

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Originally posted by babybull82:

I was involved with a man who was married to a woman who's Venus is in Taurus (actually her Venus conjunct my sun very closely) It was a joint decision. She has Mars in Scorpio too and I think the sex aspect of having an open relationship she really enjoyed. But when her husband first met me he wanted to be with me in a relationship right away and she didn't understand why he couldn't just be casual with me. So yes she struggled a lot with sharing and jealousy in the beginning. Me and him broke up for about a yr and then got back together June of 2015. Me and her talked about what went wrong last time and things became better between us and we even tried to become a "triad". Funny thing is she started to become possessive over me and tried to dictate how I conducted my relationships outside of them. To be completely honest though I feel them opening up their marriage (September 2013) was just to delay the inevitable because as of October of this yr their divorce has been finalized.

They are both very fixed: She's a Taurus and he's a Scorpio Sun, with Scorpio ascendant (which means Taurus on the descendant),Venus and Mars in Virgo and I think this was their last ditch effort to keep together something that had been falling apart for awhile.

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Super insightful. This is kind of how I see it unfolding, too.

posted December 26, 2016 05:29 AM            

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Originally posted by erickaf:
My best friend has Scorpio Venus and her partner of 17 yrs is Taurus Venus....they have open relationship. She has Uranus in the 7th and he has Uranus opposite his Venus....maybe here in Europe we are more free with sex.

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posted December 26, 2016 05:47 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by babybull82:

I was involved with a man who was married to a woman who's Venus is in Taurus (actually her Venus conjunct my sun very closely) It was a joint decision. She has Mars in Scorpio too and I think the sex aspect of having an open relationship she really enjoyed. But when her husband first met me he wanted to be with me in a relationship right away and she didn't understand why he couldn't just be casual with me. So yes she struggled a lot with sharing and jealousy in the beginning. Me and him broke up for about a yr and then got back together June of 2015. Me and her talked about what went wrong last time and things became better between us and we even tried to become a "triad". Funny thing is she started to become possessive over me and tried to dictate how I conducted my relationships outside of them. To be completely honest though I feel them opening up their marriage (September 2013) was just to delay the inevitable because as of October of this yr their divorce has been finalized.

They are both very fixed: She's a Taurus and he's a Scorpio Sun, with Scorpio ascendant (which means Taurus on the descendant),Venus and Mars in Virgo and I think this was their last ditch effort to keep together something that had been falling apart for awhile.

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what I hear here is a relationship that has lost his magic and search for "open" relationship out of boredom or as a solution for something that is not working. that is different. probably they were not in love anymore and they were open to experiment or try something out. when I was not in love with my ex-husband I proposed to be open. i dated online, but never physically until we actually separated, but I was not jealous of women with him because i was not in love anymore. that does not make me open to non-monogamous but UNINTERESTED.

posted December 26, 2016 07:09 AM            

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Originally posted by nordicsoul:
I would like to hear about someone CRAZY about someone and WILLING to share them..

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that's a different thread! although being a scorpio venus i can only say i experience love as craziness "being crazy about someone"

posted December 26, 2016 07:16 AM            

I had a polyamorous relationship with a husband / wife. I've also had an open relationship. Both were wonderful.

posted December 26, 2016 07:21 AM            

I can talk more about this when it's not 4:21am.

posted December 26, 2016 07:50 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by nordicsoul:
what I hear here is a relationship that has lost his magic and search for "open" relationship out of boredom or as a solution for something that is not working. that is different. probably they were not in love anymore and they were open to experiment or try something out. when I was not in love with my ex-husband I proposed to be open. i dated online, but never physically until we actually separated, but I was not jealous of women with him because i was not in love anymore. that does not make me open to non-monogamous but UNINTERESTED.

however, when i think about the man i am interested now, I would not accept sharing him with anybody. that is the difference between true non-monogamous and uninterested. If you are not into someone, you are so OPEN. I would like to hear about someone CRAZY about someone and WILLING to share them.. everything else is Mooooo

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Well contrary to what you may think I believe at the time they first decided to open up she was still in love with him, now him still being in love with her..I couldn't tell you that. Honestly I believe that (part 2) of our "relationship" on some level I was there to help keep "them" together. I only say this because it was HER idea for us to form a triad and she wanted us to move in together, help raise my children together the whole 9 yards (she's into what they call "kitchen table polyamory". But of course I had my own issues..not so much with jealousy, but my position in the entire thing. While being open she is still very much into titles and "ranking" I shall say. So basically she was the "primary partner" while I was the "secondary" Her husband on the other hand was more into "poly without privilege" meaning he wanted to treat us both equally as in nobody came before anybody else or was more important than the other.

Anyway, this woman has Mercury in Aries so not sure if anybody has dealt with that, but they can be very blunt and put their foot in their mouth often. By February of this yr I had had enough of her selfish, and narcissistic ways (not saying Mercury in Aries makes her that way, but it didn't help the situation) So like a week before Valentines day I broke it off with both of them telling the husband that I no longer wanted to deal with his wife and in turn that means I was done with him as well. After he chewed her out for whatever she did that pushed me over the edge we decided to just go back to being a "V" but it seems that me dumping them both was the catalyst for her to decide that she was tired and things just kind of went down hill from there. They filed for legal separation like 2 days after her bday and then petitioned the court for divorce by June and then by October it was finalized.

As for me I'm not even really sure where I stand with the husband at this point. I've actually lost interest in him myself and have just been wanting to be on my own. I believe he's going thru a harsh Saturn transit to his Venus and Mars which could probably explain why all of this is happening to him. All in all I learned some good lessons and a lot more about myself during this experience. Will I go back to being poly..hmm I'm not sure..for now I think I want to be monogamous. One thing I will say though is that I think everybody at some point should learn how to deal with possessiveness and jealously as I don't feel it's a very healthy way to feel in a relationship. No one person can be someone's "property" and when people talk that way it makes me think of ownership and seeing someone as an extension of themselves instead of as an individual with their own thoughts and feelings.

posted December 26, 2016 09:13 AM            

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Originally posted by Geeky:
I have Venus in Scorpio and I prefer non-monogamous relationships. I've felt the most cared for, respected, and free in these arrangements.

I had a polyamorous relationship with a husband / wife. I've also had an open relationship. Both were wonderful.

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Wowww I found you! Amazing! And great to hear. What house is your venus in? Do you have any moon-uranus or venus-uranus aspects natally?

Would love to learn more! Esp details of how you best found it worked for you. How do you manage the jealousy - do you have a primary partner type of arrangement? As a Venus in Scorpio + Scorp Sun conjunct Pluto, I can get a bit obsessive... so something that still has the devotion of monogamy is still important.

posted December 26, 2016 09:54 AM            

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Originally posted by rorrr:
that's a different thread! although being a scorpio venus i can only say i experience love as craziness "being crazy about someone"

surprised there aren't any poly taurus or scorpio venuses on here!

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posted December 26, 2016 11:51 AM            

He met me while he was still with her (and he just broke up with another woman) but I really didn't know he was still in a long term relationship with his Scorpio venus ex. He pursued me hard until I said yes. I really thought he was a faithful man at the time because of his attention, affection, and how sweet his cancer mars was. But it only lasted for a month because I had a dream about his cheating (I told him it was so weird because I never had a bad thought about the relationship and him), he paused for awhile then he told me about his Scorp venus ex gf (he told me 'ex' although the truth was they only gave each other silent treatment and all those games that they played to each other).

I was raised in a conservative way and I believe in a monogamy relationship. My parents both are very loyal and supportive to each other (Leo-Aqua paired) and they are my role model in a relationship. When I found out everything and how it turned out so much drama between the three of us, I felt disgusted and had the worst years ever dealing with both of them.

They broke up in a dramatic way (she was then quickly in a new relationship) and he kept pursuing me who chose to leave him after I knew the story and she asked me to give him up with tears in her eyes. We had an on-off relationship because he still came back to his ex (because she said she still loved him, etc etc, which I couldn't think how feelings could be played/manipulated like this) and he still opened his options with other women while he treated me like his prisoner who couldn't make friends or hanging out with my male friends.

To be honest, I'm not a fan of possessiveness/jealousy in relationship (I have venus trine pluto, sun square pluto wide, asc conjunct uranus wide), because I always feel like being controlled, accused/blamed of something that I didn't do, there will some verbal abuse throw at me, threatening, yada yada yada, which makes me feel like being abused in relationship and being forced to live up into their expectation while they can be free with themselves.

So, yeah, venus in Taurus and venus in Scorpio may have an open relationship and non-monogamy relationship (based on what OP pointed to this two venus signs). This two sign are very secretive with their love life.

But I have found venus in Taurus has the harder time to be in one than venus in Scorpio. Venus in Taurus is all possessive and venus in scorpio is all jealousy (it is a thin line between possessiveness and jealousy but really it has different truth).

Both having no uranus to their venus, or no prominent uranus in their chart.

posted December 26, 2016 03:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by rorrr:
that's a different thread! although being a scorpio venus i can only say i experience love as craziness "being crazy about someone"

surprised there aren't any poly taurus or scorpio venuses on here!

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posted December 26, 2016 03:47 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Geeky:
BTW, I still care for the ex I had my open relationship with very much & we are dear friends. I was totally crazy about him and he's the one that showed me I didn't have to own someone or be owned like property to be loved and even adored. No one has ever made me feel so special.

I can talk more about this when it's not 4:21am.

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posted December 26, 2016 04:02 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by rorrr:
I'm looking to hear from Scorp / Taurus venuses who have tried open relationships!!

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posted December 26, 2016 04:57 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by rorrr:

I'm looking to hear from Scorp / Taurus venuses who have tried open relationships!

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posted December 26, 2016 08:47 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by rorrr:
Wowww I found you! Amazing! And great to hear. What house is your venus in? Do you have any moon-uranus or venus-uranus aspects natally?

Would love to learn more! Esp details of how you best found it worked for you. How do you manage the jealousy - do you have a primary partner type of arrangement? As a Venus in Scorpio + Scorp Sun conjunct Pluto, I can get a bit obsessive... so something that still has the devotion of monogamy is still important.

Super excited to see what you write tomorrow!

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First, I think it's important to note I am a Virgo sun / Sag moon. I believe my moon in Sag has A LOT to do with this. And this is not something that happened until I was 30. I believe my younger self wouldn't have been able to cope.

House placement of Venus- 3rd house conjunct (widely, not tight) with Mars (in Libra).

No Uranus aspects with Venus or Moon. Uranus is square my Asc though (in Leo).

I have a lot of Fire in my chart (might be noteworthy, not sure).

How do I manage the jealousy? I'm not naturally jealous. Do I get a bit obsessed when there is someone new and do I love deeply? Oh yeah, for sure! I want to know everything about a person and I absorb every detail that I can recall years later.

The reason I prefer open / poly is because in my experience, people are more honest! But I am jaded from being cheated on. In the open / poly experiences, everyone is protecting themselves consistently from STIs where in monogamy people settle in and don't use protection as consistently. This is an issue when you're with a cheater and you're not thinking you need to be using protection from STIs.

In the poly relationship, they were married but it wasn't a primary/secondary thing. We made our own rules and we called his legal wife his 'anchor' but we were made just as equal to each other. It was adorable watching him grin with a lady on each arm when we'd go out together LOL. I loved him & adored her, but they were going through some financial issues and health issues and ultimately, he broke it off saying they weren't ready. I (Scorpio Venus of course!) freaked out and hate texted for about two days straight because I felt when people say "I love you" they should try harder. So that relationship failed not because of jealousy, but because he has given up on life due to his own issues. We broke up last October and I am am still not 100% over that. It didn't help that I ran into them the day before Thanksgiving and they acted like they didn't see me. It hurt like someone ripped open the stitches from a recent wound.

The open relationship is the one that started it all. I met a guy through a friend and I learned he was married but polyamorous. I told her "NOPE NOPE NOPE!" bur she insisted I at least talk to him. We traded cell numbers and talked that night for seven hours. He was kind, attentive, smart, respectful... everything I always wanted and never had. I was recovering from a divorce (the cheater I was with for seven years) so I thought to myself, "He seems so honest...why not try something new?!"

And, I did. In this scenario, he had a wife who was #1 and the girlfriends never came to the house (nor did her boyfriends). That was their safe/sacred place. I met her, so I knew he wasn't full of poop.

In any case, it was me & two other long-term girlfriends for a long time. When he was with me, he was 100% mine though and I never felt like 2nd, 3rd, or 4th if that makes sense. He treated me like a queen - read books to me, rubbed my back, helped my friends when they needed help moving or whatever and because he was so good to me, it didn't matter he slept at home somewhere else. When we were together it was magic.

I only ended it with him because I started seeing someone else I eventually married (and separated from) and the new guy was NOT okay with open / poly relationships.

He and I are still very dear friends though and if ever I want to rekindle things the door is always open to me. He has remarried though because the first wife did not want kids & he does. New wifey isn't quite as open as he is though, so I 'm not sure he's happy (which breaks my heart). She'd prefer a closed poly relationship between her +1 and his +1 and that's it.

There are literally endless arrangements that could work for some people.

For me, it wasn't about the sex. I mean, that's a bonus, but it's more about my infinite love for people. I easily (and deeply) fall in love and I have a hard time being forced to choose and stick with just one person because there is no perfect person that can be all the things I want/need. Even if there was, that would not be fair to him at all!

Another side note - I do trend towards relationships with men, but I am completely open to gender. What a person has down below is not my concern. It's how they make me feel...how they smell...how we make eye contact. All of those things that cannot really be measured or categorized. I have not been in love with every person I've been with in my life, but the ones I fell in love with I am still in love with.

It doesn't go away. Sometimes I (or they) realize it's not a good long-term fit, but that doesn't erase the love. I'm *in love* with two people now and still feel love (like family love) for several exes.

That was long and rambly... did I answer everything?

Edit - Adding my chart so you can see what else might influence this.

posted December 26, 2016 08:52 PM            

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Originally posted by nordicsoul:
I would like to hear about someone CRAZY about someone and WILLING to share them

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Hi. *raises hand*

I don't have take ownership of another person to love them and adore them. I'm not jealous or controlling of them - they have free will. When I was in these open / poly relationships I had, I never felt like I had to "share" anything because again, that language sounds like ownership (e.g. that's MY brush).

I know it sounds hippy dippy, but I don't view people that way.

To me, it's no different than sharing my grandma with my cousins. She loved us all and there was enough grandma to go around.

posted December 26, 2016 08:56 PM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
the biggest cheaters tend to assume their partners are just as unfaithful which makes them jealous and possessive. When someone, male or female, gets this jealous and possessive, I automatically question their own faithfulness.

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This has been the case EVERY TIME I was cheated on by someone. Because of this, I cannot stand jealousy and when I get any whiff of it, I call my partner out on that crap and tell him he can find the door! Ick.

Edit: I only am bringing this up because Venus in Scorpio are supposed to be the jealous ones, but I am not. Not at all! Look at the whole person, never just one placement.

posted December 26, 2016 10:33 PM            

I'm sorry for the rough breakup you went through. It doesn't matter whom is involved or what configuration, being ignored in public by someone who said they loved you is just awful. I know that feeling <3 But I'm glad to hear that you have found more love after this, and I think that's the compelling part of poly-anything... It seems to be based on the premise of abundant love, which I support. There should be no scarcity when it comes to love and security and care.

I can imagine your Sag Moon has a huge influence here, and I can hear it when you say that you have a lot of love to give. That sounds exactly like an expansive, happy Sag Moon!!

Being Scorp Venus, was there ever a time when you were jealous? You mentioned that when you were younger, you wouldn't have been able to handle open relationships. It makes me wonder if I can grow out of possessiveness and obsession. I know on an intellectual level that love doesn't = control; in fact, true love is the opposite of that. But it's very difficult to put into practice when you're afraid of losing something good, unless someone has behaved so controllingly to you in the past that you are repulsed by anything that reminds you of it.

Oftentimes I wonder if I have an intense scorpio venus, or whether it's medical "ROCD" (lol!) - and I wonder whether open relationships and polyamory will help with that. Maybe not.

It seems like even in dating & open relationships, there is still one person I tend to want as my primary above all the others, which I can tell because it feels like I want them to love me THE MOST (!!!!) Haha. And I have a tendency to be willing to drop everything for that one man, which I'm not sure is a Scorpio venus thing, but it's just my first emotional instinct.