posted January 13, 2017 01:31 AM            

Some chick at work is trying to create drama because she feels like I stole her friend??? I can't help it if the girl don't like her anymore, I can understand why though. It's like she keeps throwing herself at the guy who likes me at work and he seems like he like he hides whenever she comes around or is either up close and personal toward her. She grabbed his butt infant of my face, it just got real. I tried to make a joke but the Cancer in me started to seriously snap. I just don't care for it , it's not even about jealousy it's the fact I have already explained I am tired of getting hurt, petty stuff. I don't care to be humiliated or tested. He's all like he is into me then this other stuff just makes me not trust it, like I don't care for no dumb games and why???? It don't add up right? I didn't do anything to him???? He came to me??? He told me things like he wanted to be that guy to me and I was standoffish but told him it wasn't rejection, the minute I start to open up some, I don't know I guess he must have had a change of heart.

This chick, I have tried to be nice to her and tried to like her but yesterday, I was told she was running to the supervisor and complaining. That I was being watched and a whole bunch of other crazy that has nothing to with my job!! All because her use to be friend isn't her friend no more which has nothing to do with me and then this guy like Romeo, plz!!! He was all into me up until Tuesday, He took me home Monday evening and then I asked for him to text me when he got home, which he did. Then the next day, I was laughing and joking with him at work or trying to. He had said something about he was going to stop by my work area to see me and never showed. He never sent me a text or anything. The next day someone told me that other people were watching him and how he was trying to get with me , I'm guessing this is why he seemed to have backed off. Wednesday I came to work and saw him, he was really dressed up. He talked to me some and you could tell he was weary of who saw him talk to me, then he told me that he thought I was suppose to be off. The girl that just had to grab his butt, she was off. I never said anything but I just thought, nope you have me mixed up with someone else. Thanks a lot!! So I just asked him , your all dressed up and thought I was going to be off, who were you planning on seeing later on since you thought I was off and your dressed up like you are? I thought maybe I was going to hear from him after work or something, silence and crickets??? blink blink, you wanted me to be into you, then I am into you and ugh did I miss something??

He tells me he don't like the other girl like that and he likes me but what I see is confusing? Someone else said she liked him. My friend that use to be her friend is like give him a chance but I just don't know. I don't know what to trust and given the other stuff that I've seen I just don't know. I know I am a flirt but at the same time, I don't do that in front of someone like that if I know how they feel on me. I just ended up feeling like forget it and went out with another guy last night who btw I didn't hear from today. It figures!!!

posted January 13, 2017 05:40 AM            

Hey Colorful butterfly. I'm sorry about the confusing nonsense you're experiencing. I know it feels like no one is real. I'm 7/17/79. You aren't wrong. The rest of the world has a lot to figure out. My advice to you, as a response to what you see as confusion and sometimes deception in the outside world is to try to find and express more clarity and honesty from within yourself.

You can't change what other people do, but to respond to them by finding your most true self and showing it is very empowering. Discover what is important to you. Put it in the forefront. Respect it and honor it and with it right up from for everyone to see.

I used to think that taking the risk of being vulnerable only had one kind of benefit- a more passive and receptive benefit. Being honest and telling people what you need and want, and letting people know what hurts you, is hard because other people can say no, or they can reject you and your expression. But in the grand scheme it is only empowerment. By constantly searching for what your truth is and sharing with those who are or want to be close to you are making a fair and open offer. Probably something they are not used to and wont forget.

I'm not saying you aren't honest or authentic. I'm saying the work is endless while we're alive. While we're alive we keep having experiences, and those experiences teach us about what works for us and what doesn't. Both positive and negative help us to become more and more specific about what does and doesn't work for us. That's why we always want to show gratitude for both.

I'm sure most people try to be honest with themselves and others about who they are, but most people don't honor their emotions as true messages...so I'm not sure how they know what they do and don't want...

This lesson has been in the works for me for several years. This full moon gave some real solidification and grounding in that lesson.

Last night I outlined T.S. video on How To Discover What You Want. Here's my outline, for anyone interested

(This is an outline of my lesson plan for my highschool Homeschool class so please forgive the notes about "children". Also the formatting didn't transfer over at all and I don't have time to put it back into an outline format. I hope this makes sense to anyone interested though)

How to Discover What You Want

Why Do We Need To Figure Out What We Want?

Our desires are responsible for our expansion and the expansion of the universe* (needs more explanation before presented to children)

People who get what they want take the time to figure out what they want first. Knowing what you want is the most important element of getting what you want. When you know what you want, the Universe can send it to you.

(Imagine that in this space and time we experience there is ourselves and then everything else. Imagine that everything else is a reflection of ourselves. Just like a mirror shows you how you look, everything else [let's call everything else the Universe] everything else or the Universe shows you how you look on the inside. One of the most common ways it shows you how you look on the inside is by sending you something that matches what you look like on the inside [be mindful of children's tendency toward literalism and severity here]. We can call what you look like on the inside, your vibration. So the mirror shows you your reflection, and the Universe shows you and brings to you in the form of people and experiences your vibration, or vibrational match) The Universe sends us that which we are a vibrational match to

(As I said before, the people who get what they want take the time to figure out what it is they want. We have to know what we want so that our "knowledge" of what we want can be reflected by the Universe, or in other words so the Universe can reflect or match our desires and bring them to us) Question is not a vibrational match to Answer.

So to receive what we want in life we have to at least know the answer to the question, "what do you want".

Saying, "I don’t know what I want", and living in a state of unknowing actually prevents what you want from getting to you.
Answer cannot participate in our reality when all we are activating is 'not knowing' and confusion. To activate the answer we have to work our way into knowing.

Many people will question how they will know the answer. Well, we can know the What of the answer. What we cannot know and need to release the desire to control is the How of the answer (We can discuss the difference between the What and the How of the answer later). Focus on what we can know, is working our way into Knowing and bringing about the manifestation of the answer.

How To Work Our Way To Knowing

1. The quickest and simplest way to activate the answer (without knowing the answer) is to imagine what it might feel like to know the answer. Whether our mind and intellect know or not, by creating the feeling of the satisfaction of knowing; by imagining we know, we make ourselves a vibrational match to the answer and solution and then the universe can send the answer. Let's ask ourselves:

What might it feel like to know what you want
What might it feel like to know your purpose

2. Play the game of What Don’t You Want
We all have resentment and resistance within us. Those feelings are a focus on what we don’t want. We can use that focus to identify what we don't want.

Once we know what we don’t want we can play the game of Opposites

The assumption is that the opposite of what we don't want is exactly what we want. Most often the first answer in the game of Opposites is only the first step.

Once we have identified the opposite of what we don't want, we can ask, "what would be better than that"

We can ask this question again and again until we have come to the answer

3.When figuring out what we want, we need to try not to limit the universe with the specifics of How we get What we want (Examples of the difference between How and What- Ask children what they think the difference is first). In order to pin down What without getting tangled up in How, we should focus on feelings.

We can identify how we want to feel using the technique of first identifying how we don't want to feel

Then use the list of how we don't want to feel to identify its opposite

Then figure out what would feel better if necessary

4. Play the game of No Limits

I want…written with the predominant hand

(the answer)…written at the same time with the lesser used hand

At the bottom of the page answer the question, "If I could do or be anything at all what would it be"

Then answer the question, "Why do I want the things that I want"

5. Another Exercise: Make a list of everything that makes you feel good- Passion and Joy. From falling in love to loving the way shoes fit. Our purpose is always in tandem with what we feel joy and passion doing

posted January 13, 2017 11:34 AM            

quote:

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This Moon also trines Chiron in Pisces (21 degrees) which suggests a rush of tears, relief and healing. This will be true, no matter what this Moon brings you. The release of a harmonious Moon/Chiron aspect can feel good, even when it hurts.

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posted January 13, 2017 11:40 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
There is something really positive that happened Monday January 9. I was meditating a love kindness guided meditation which I have been doing a lot of this week and nobody esle5 around my head started vibrating internally for several minutes and I could hear the sound of the vibration. That has never happened to me while meditating. I think it was like a kundalini rise or my mind was so silent I could feel the vibration of the energy in my chakras. Come to think of it I have been emotional since that happened, perhaps that opened up something.

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That sounds really nice.

posted January 13, 2017 11:57 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sarahhm:
hey, how are you guys holding up?

i'm come to the realisation that my depression has kicked off a bit, and i'm in a bit of a dip and been in it since like last week of december, most likely since i spent an extended amount of time triggered constantly

my abandonment issues have come up and i'm questioning my relationship, and my ego holding me back and all that (full moon conjuncting my asc)

my leo asc = it's 12/6th house axis
my cap sun = 1/7th house axis

it's near my asc at the moment, and those really suit.

12/6th house - ive been dealing with physical manisfestations of depression, and psychological of course

1/7th house - relationship issues and wondering should i stay or should i go

cancer/capricorn = need to be nurtured and loved the way i would like to be loved vs. being accountable for my own emotional health and happiness.. pair that up with cap sun and all that = how much of our issues is me and i need to work on that on my own and how much is us? or him?

i'm lucky i had a session with my therapist about these issues yesterday, not really relationship but the 12/6th house abandonment stuff cause i think it's made today easier.

pluto has been helping actually. i've made moves and notes on where to go from here and what are the next steps and i'm working on it. i'm a goat! i'll keep climbing!

but overall, i'm not happy. i'm in a bit of a dip. i just feel plain sad.

fingers crossed though cause my period is due, maybe thats making it a bit worse... who knows. at least i still am able to hope.

i'm happy both jupiter and mars are quintiling my moon and mercury is conjunct it. i think it's helping me stay positive and make plans to change and give me the mind to do so

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I'm experiencing the 1st/7th axis at this Moon in a similar way (I have an empty Capricorn 1st and a loaded Cancer 7th, Moon-Saturn, Venus)....I'm not in a relationship, but going through should-I-stay-or-should-I-go struggles with my ex. Working with LOTS of rejection and abandonment issues. I had a session about this with my therapist on the 11th, just like Sarah did.

I haven't experienced the cathartic healing tears and emotions attached to this Moon yet....just going through blocked-up rage.

My Sun is at 21-22 Leo, so the Moon hit me with a weird minor aspect--I forget what that's called--I didn't expect it to be that great for me. i did speak up about one thing I wanted to speak up about, but the theme of the energy is more about old emotional issues on my Cancer/Capricorn axis.

V2T, it's brave to work with that throat chakra!

posted January 13, 2017 12:46 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lucia23:
My Sun is at 21-22 Leo, so the Moon hit me with a weird minor aspect--I forget what that's called--

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It's a semi-sextile with the Cancer Full Moon and an inconjunction/quincunx with the Capricorn Sun.

Hugs and strength to everyone going through a challenging period.

posted January 13, 2017 01:43 PM            

I am faring amazingly well actually, so cannot complain.
Well I was feeling the build-up of intensity the day(s) leading up to the fullmoon, like it was a decisive moment, but when it "hit", I pretty much instantly relaxed, and more so was just feeling this warmth inside, and this calmness.
Everything`s good.

Well the Fullmoon was hitting my Vertex and Eros on 21 Cancer (I guess the strange build-up was when Tr Moon was on my n Saturn on 17 Cancer) and also my Sun/Moon-mp on 21 Cap, with Tr Uranus on my n Chiron on 20 Aries.

There were no tears though for me, but some flashbacks to events happening in the past (not even that far in the past), but not even attached with a sense of nostalgia, but more with a sense of "awareness".

Also felt a lot of compassion for the souls going through such a lot right now.

Well I also suddenly started watching "The young Pope", which I`ve gradually started to really appreciate, more in an intellectual/ artistic way though.

Well in my diurnal chart for this month, including of the day of the fullmoon, I have Jupiter as the chartruler, which happens to be in Libra in 9th house (of the diurnal chart) conjunct my natal Sappho exact. lol I guess that is where the artistic appreciation comes to the fore.

Also Tr Jupiter is or was of course on the transiting Sun/Moon-mp which is aligned (though by square) with my own natal Sun/moon-mp.
Everything just feels "in synch".

posted January 13, 2017 02:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Elysia:
That sounds really nice.

(Be careful about opening up your chakras too much too quickly though. The cosmic *noise* becomes unbearable. )

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posted January 13, 2017 03:15 PM            

Definitely noticing the theme of past events becoming central to my consciousness and other people's as well, and issues around parenting/nurturing coming very much to the fore.

I've been having some health problems (when transiting Pluto was conjunct the Sun the whole theme of death was prominent for several of my friends as well and we were discussing our wills and stuff). It was a very sensitive full moon for me emotionally...

Pluto is about to square my Venus exact for the first time January 21 (it almost was exact when it went retrograde last year but now it's really happening.. though I can see how it was happening last year too in a big way).

When D. and I hooked up/really fell deeply in love for a while anyway... That was last November and his progressed Venus was exactly conjunct my progressed Chiron. My natal Chiron is retrograde, and his progressed Venus is going to be exactly conjunct my natal Chiron in about two weeks.

I'm in a place where I'm really wanting to know the right thing to do. We are discussing letting go of the friendship as it is but it's really sad for both of us. So much has happened and it's been so intense but as usual we both actually want what's best for the other and can't seem to let go of the urge to be in touch because there really is a lot of good in it. Lots of difficulty too but much less than before, less pressure now. Just talking every day and being there for one another. I know I'll use this Pluto transit to become more certain of what I really want and need in relationship... just giving myself time to figure it all out and being gentle with myself.

posted January 14, 2017 02:16 AM            

Thank you and I agree with you. I have been working on some of these things over the past year and find them to be extremely helpful. It can be hard to keep things objective when being emotionally charged but I did talk to the girl at work today and decided to take a more constructive approach to things. She laughed and explained to me things that she did not understand and then I gained insight to other things that I did not understand so hopefully things were more or less a bunch of misunderstandings. She didn't relize I liked the guy as much as I did and she explained she was just joking and that from now on she understood things a little better . She also explained the friend thing and that things had gotten taken way out of context , that things were very cool with me and there was nothing personal between us. This was a big relief.

posted January 15, 2017 12:34 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by colorful butterfly:
venustotinkerbell,

Thank you and I agree with you. I have been working on some of these things over the past year and find them to be extremely helpful. It can be hard to keep things objective when being emotionally charged but I did talk to the girl at work today and decided to take a more constructive approach to things. She laughed and explained to me things that she did not understand and then I gained insight to other things that I did not understand so hopefully things were more or less a bunch of misunderstandings. She didn't relize I liked the guy as much as I did and she explained she was just joking and that from now on she understood things a little better . She also explained the friend thing and that things had gotten taken way out of context , that things were very cool with me and there was nothing personal between us. This was a big relief.

As for the guy I haven't seen him nor spoken to him, I sent him a text but he did not respond to that.

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posted January 15, 2017 12:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Rosalind:
Been crying these weeks I have been home. Felt hopeless, helpless, depressed. Not sure if the Full Moon added something but definitely I am not well.
I want to mention that I also had prophetic dreams. I read that Neptune brings dreams but the ones I have been having are not just dreams if they come true.

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I've been feeling like that too, pretty depressed and I've been crying none stop since 2 days ago, this Moon hit me hard, and then since last week, been feeling like abandoned, weird thing about it I had those kind of dreams last year with the Virgo/Pisces eclipses, I've been having weird dreams also but then I wake up sweating, weird since its winter.

posted January 19, 2017 12:29 AM            

And both were sextiling my AC in scorpio at 17d so forming a kite with my angles.

This is a description I found for pluto aspecting mercury via transit: