posted March 11, 2017 05:00 AM            

Okay, so..There was a man I was in love with once. I still love him but our lives have gone in totally different directions. But I know he is and was the love of my life, and only for him would I leave a marriage, walk away from my life, drop anything and go anywhere to begin again with him in a HEARTBEAT.

The reason why we didn't get together originally was, well first of all I was only 23. I was sort of casually seeing another guy, who is honestly such a great guy and so charming and attractive but just not the one for me, and my love and that guy were friends (that's how we met). Ultimately I got suspicious of his motives, crushing on his friend's girl and all, and I decided to stick with what was reliable. But I went too far with the other guy and it was too late. No, I didn't cheat but, perhaps worse, I fell in love with him, like he was with me. Then the guy I was actually seeing found out about all of this going on around him. I have so much respect for him and the guilt over hurting him and making him look like a fool is deeply intertwined into my feelings about the other guy as well...sigh.

edit: I just wanted to add that, as I'm thinking about it, the original guy I was seeing was also super in love with me as well, he ran me down on the street and begged for my number when we first met and all that, and that did affect me a lot when I made the decision to focus on him instead of who I was really in love with. I didn't want to let his expectations of me down, I guess. And it's not that I'm super hot or anything, this is the only time this happened lol!

After that bout of public embarrassment, the guy I loved went after me anyway. He said he didn't care about what happened. I rejected him, and I told him things would never work out. There were real issues between us dating but mostly it was a lot of "what ifs" I cited as reasons not to see each other.

I'm getting somewhere with this. The things I asserted myself on in this situation, that I should stick with the safe bet, that people would not let our relationship work, that we had too many issues, etc, those were not decisions I had really made. Those were precisely the things I was unsure about, and that's where I needed to be told that I was wrong. He tried to tell me gently, but he's not the type to grab my wrists and tell me his decision is final...and there was always a way I could argue my way out of it.

In the end, he tried to contact me one last time. At that time I was trying to get into a new life mode and leave this love triangle thing I had been wallowing in alone. I was tired of being in love with someone I couldn't be with and I was angry that I kept having feelings for him after all those years. He told me that he would always love me, and he said that if I wanted him to disappear from my life that all I had to do was say it and he would, and I would never see him again. I said yes, and that's pretty much what happened.

Being the Libra in this situation, again, I just wish that he would have grabbed my wrists and told me his decision is final. Of course I know that's too much to ask of someone, and I guess that's precisely where I messed up. When I write all of this down it doesn't seem to make sense why I fought so hard against someone who I so desperately want to be with. It was my early 20s immature way of waiting at a certain conclusion quietly to see who can reach the top of the mountain on their own, while I'm also screaming at the top of my lungs at them to go away. Only a Libra would wonder why they left after that kind of treatment hahaha.

And the other guy, I still think about him sometimes and hope he has a great life because he deserves it. But he deserves to be in love with someone who would love him in THAT way, not the way I did which was essentially staying with him out of pity and duty. That's not what love should be about.

posted March 11, 2017 08:04 AM            

I don't want my Libra to slip through my fingers, or rather I don't want to slip through his.
So you think him saying I don't know is his way of saying "I can't"? I admire his loyalty so so much.
I'm feeling bad now that I told him all that about either meeting up or I could back off. Do you think I've caused damage? Then again how long could I continue playing this game for? 😔 We almost met up about a week ago. So close. It's always in the heat of the moment when we are sexting that he feels he has to have me. Now. No question. And then I guess his mind takes over.
I'm so wanting to message him to mend things. So tempted. I'm afraid he just won't message me now. See how crazy my mind goes? Damn mercurial mind.

When you say try to be a champion of the heart, what do you mean exactly? Like, lead with my heart?

posted March 11, 2017 12:04 PM            

Anyway, being young and dumb. I was one of three girls when I first met him, had no clue about the third girl. He asked about me threw a friend of mine at a social gathering at the orphanage I lived in. He would come and go, date me then go date another girl. Then whatever, he was a player. After about 2 and 1\2 years of on and off again dating him. I was going to leave the home I lived in and move back to my home town closer to my relatives. So I went to see him one last time before I left to tell him goodbye. His girlfriend before me had left and moved to another state, didn't know this at the time. I guess he lost her and didn't want to lose me either, who knows??? So he purposed and I said yes. He was also my first love and I have never really been the same since.

posted March 11, 2017 11:41 PM            

This for me sounds like how i would act. Given if i don't feel strongly about either choice i.e sit on the fence and wait for clarity to hit me etc.

There is a feeling that i need to get. An unambiguous realization that could come out of nowhere that simplifys what can be done.

posted March 12, 2017 01:31 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Mars in Libra(Tropical)
Venus in Libra(Sidereal)
Sun,Jupiter,Neptune in Libra(Draconic)

This for me sounds like how i would act. Given if i don't feel strongly about either choice i.e sit on the fence and wait for clarity to hit me etc.

There is a feeling that i need to get. An unambiguous realization that could come out of nowhere that simplifys what can be done.

Where is the moon of the guy in question? I make decisions(mostly) based on how i feel. The moon in Cancer provides enough "feeling" momentum for me to press ahead.

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Aries, but surely your Aries sun is also going to greatly influence you into action re decision making.
Having said that, I HAD previously thought that all these people are talking about his sun sign and isn't it the moon sign that kinda is a big deal in decision making re love? So I'm glad you pointed that out.

He has a Scorpio moon. Heavy Scorpio. He certainly feels A LOT.
He has a history of giving into his passions in the moment and I guess he's now trying not so much to be like that as he doesn't want to hurt others. It's such a war within him.

Check out his chart. TOB unknown.

posted March 12, 2017 06:04 AM            

My guess is that you may not be at the top of his list of priorities. That is really at the crux of it all.

When it comes to making a decision I don't waste much time speculating,especially when I know what i want.

But when i am not sure or perhaps when the issue is not of great importance,I apply the above mentioned method.

In his case, i am guessing that Uranus on his Moon, Venus and Mars does not make him the most reliable of people.

Uranus makes it hard to make consistant emotional bonds. So don't hold your breath.

And with Pluto sitting on Sun,Merc he plays his cards very close to his chest. He wants to be in control and that is on purpose.

Yes, there is charm. But dont think that he is "torn" by the decision to choose you over her. Coz if he felt the connection as deeply as you did, Libra/Scor won't waste time

I suspect he does not want to choose because he thinks he doesn't have to.

posted March 13, 2017 01:38 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by EmGem:
Wal2 😱😱😱 your story has touched me so deeply. Thank you so much for sharing it with me. Wow what an incredibly heartbreaking scenario. Staying with someone just out of duty or because you don't want to look bad in their eyes must lead to so much underlying resentment 😞 I'm such a believer in leading with the heart even tho I'm a Gemini. I guess maybe it's my cancer Venus I don't know. But what you went through must've been agony.
Funny how you say the guy you were in love with was friends with the one you were seeing. I actually met Libra through my bc at the time all those years ago. Ha.

I don't want my Libra to slip through my fingers, or rather I don't want to slip through his.
So you think him saying I don't know is his way of saying "I can't"? I admire his loyalty so so much.
I'm feeling bad now that I told him all that about either meeting up or I could back off. Do you think I've caused damage? Then again how long could I continue playing this game for? 😔 We almost met up about a week ago. So close. It's always in the heat of the moment when we are sexting that he feels he has to have me. Now. No question. And then I guess his mind takes over.
I'm so wanting to message him to mend things. So tempted. I'm afraid he just won't message me now. See how crazy my mind goes? Damn mercurial mind.

When you say try to be a champion of the heart, what do you mean exactly? Like, lead with my heart?

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EmGem, We Libras do desperately want to be loved at heart. The fact that someone loves us can be a major factor in keeping us bound to that person. From your original post I got the feeling like your assessment of the other relationship is that he is staying because of how much she loves/depends on him. If you're sending the message that "I can take or leave you," you have to keep in mind he is weighing that against someone on the other line who is basically sending the message that she NEEDS him.

So you need to circumvent the games, collapse that reality, and see what's really there:

He has a Scorpio moon you say? Well, as we all know, us Libras are constantly weighing with our scales. When we put our heart into a decision though, that's our moon we're putting on the plate, as we know the moon rules our inner feelings. With a moon in Scorpio, putting his heart on the line is literally putting his life on the line, as we know Pluto rules life by extension of its eventual end in death. Life is short. In fact, it's too short that sometimes we don't get a re-do if we make the wrong choice. Scorpio moons have a nagging fear that they will look back someday to find they have led an unfulfilled life. Scorpio Venus and Mars are also keeping the bar up there especially when it comes to relationships. Those Venus and Mars ruled subjects, like love and sex of course, when expressed they are in covenant with his life. You are either in on that covenant or you are on the other side of it and not invited in. Getting these Scorpio planets to truly commit to you means getting a Scorpio to see that you are down for the long haul, beyond even this life. Scorpio always says 'there are only two options, you are either going to transform me from the inside out forever or you are a temporary dalliance and then I'm gone, literally, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.' That's Scorpio.

Now, applying that to a Libra sun, we can see that like all Libras he is partnership oriented and thrives upon being loved and appreciated. But, unlike other Libras who have less Pluto influence in their chart, that inclination for partnership is being coupled with that Scorpio-y fear-induced desire to be something to the world. For a Libra, 'the world' is essentially their partner. If someone professes their love and need for him, he will do his Libra duty and partner up. Libras get a lot of self-worth from the success of their partnerships. They like being put on a pedestal and will act as whatever figure you need them to be. That's why Librans make a lot of people happy But, like I said, there's that Scorpio moon. It doesn't go away just because someone really, really loves and needs him. He still needs his soul transformation and a lot of people who end up with these Libras are so busy happily taking from the free buffet laid out before them they've been successfully distracted from the idea that the other might have similar needs. This is, essentially, the 'game' on the ground level. The more they lay down for you, the more they commit on the surface, the more hungry their heart becomes for deeper fulfillment elsewhere. But that goes back to what I've been saying. For Libras, they assert what they're unsure about and they keep quiet when they have in fact made their mind up. There is always that paradox. Personally I've noticed that Libras with relationship planets in Scorpio tend to be romantic wayfarers, and that includes myself.

So when I say be a champion of the heart, that means you need to be a champion of HIS heart. What does he want? What is he missing out on that is spurning him to keep going and making decisions in search of a fulfilled and happy life? If you're trying to beat the games still you are already on the wrong foot on the wrong planet. My former love I wrote about is a Scorpio moon as well. You're lucky to have a Scorpio moon around, even if you don't feel it right now. They make you get down in there and decide what's really true about yourself. You're gonna have to say what you actually truly feel and throw strategizing out the window. I wouldn't want anyone to get in a strategizing war with me. I'd like to think I'm always gonna win that one. And should I lose, that's going to make me run away and try to cover my naked self as quickly as possible. Just try to stick around for a while. Don't leave because of principles. We Libras are so very ready to lay down all our principles for a partner and that is so rarely reciprocated.

posted March 16, 2017 02:20 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by wal2:
EmGem, We Libras do desperately want to be loved at heart. The fact that someone loves us can be a major factor in keeping us bound to that person. From your original post I got the feeling like your assessment of the other relationship is that he is staying because of how much she loves/depends on him. If you're sending the message that "I can take or leave you," you have to keep in mind he is weighing that against someone on the other line who is basically sending the message that she NEEDS him.

So you need to circumvent the games, collapse that reality, and see what's really there:

He has a Scorpio moon you say? Well, as we all know, us Libras are constantly weighing with our scales. When we put our heart into a decision though, that's our moon we're putting on the plate, as we know the moon rules our inner feelings. With a moon in Scorpio, putting his heart on the line is literally putting his life on the line, as we know Pluto rules life by extension of its eventual end in death. Life is short. In fact, it's too short that sometimes we don't get a re-do if we make the wrong choice. Scorpio moons have a nagging fear that they will look back someday to find they have led an unfulfilled life. Scorpio Venus and Mars are also keeping the bar up there especially when it comes to relationships. Those Venus and Mars ruled subjects, like love and sex of course, when expressed they are in covenant with his life. You are either in on that covenant or you are on the other side of it and not invited in. Getting these Scorpio planets to truly commit to you means getting a Scorpio to see that you are down for the long haul, beyond even this life. Scorpio always says 'there are only two options, you are either going to transform me from the inside out forever or you are a temporary dalliance and then I'm gone, literally, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.' That's Scorpio.

Now, applying that to a Libra sun, we can see that like all Libras he is partnership oriented and thrives upon being loved and appreciated. But, unlike other Libras who have less Pluto influence in their chart, that inclination for partnership is being coupled with that Scorpio-y fear-induced desire to be something to the world. For a Libra, 'the world' is essentially their partner. If someone professes their love and need for him, he will do his Libra duty and partner up. Libras get a lot of self-worth from the success of their partnerships. They like being put on a pedestal and will act as whatever figure you need them to be. That's why Librans make a lot of people happy But, like I said, there's that Scorpio moon. It doesn't go away just because someone really, really loves and needs him. He still needs his soul transformation and a lot of people who end up with these Libras are so busy happily taking from the free buffet laid out before them they've been successfully distracted from the idea that the other might have similar needs. This is, essentially, the 'game' on the ground level. The more they lay down for you, the more they commit on the surface, the more hungry their heart becomes for deeper fulfillment elsewhere. But that goes back to what I've been saying. For Libras, they assert what they're unsure about and they keep quiet when they have in fact made their mind up. There is always that paradox. Personally I've noticed that Libras with relationship planets in Scorpio tend to be romantic wayfarers, and that includes myself.

So when I say be a champion of the heart, that means you need to be a champion of HIS heart. What does he want? What is he missing out on that is spurning him to keep going and making decisions in search of a fulfilled and happy life? If you're trying to beat the games still you are already on the wrong foot on the wrong planet. My former love I wrote about is a Scorpio moon as well. You're lucky to have a Scorpio moon around, even if you don't feel it right now. They make you get down in there and decide what's really true about yourself. You're gonna have to say what you actually truly feel and throw strategizing out the window. I wouldn't want anyone to get in a strategizing war with me. I'd like to think I'm always gonna win that one. And should I lose, that's going to make me run away and try to cover my naked self as quickly as possible. Just try to stick around for a while. Don't leave because of principles. We Libras are so very ready to lay down all our principles for a partner and that is so rarely reciprocated.

As for the damage being done, well...in my case, if he asked me tomorrow to run away with him and start again, I'd say yes with no hesitations. I've accepted the fact that we're not together, and I live my life apart from him just fine, but it didn't make me love him any less. I'm personally okay with that. I think that's a question that is best answered by the individual though

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Sorry wal2, its been crazy around here and havent had a chance to stop! Thank you for your reply.

This:

quote:

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Scorpio always says 'there are only two options, you are either going to transform me from the inside out forever or you are a temporary dalliance and then I'm gone, literally, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.' That's Scorpio.

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