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Author Topic:   Im beginning to hate my chart and myself...
SoulOfABird
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Posts: 32
From: California
Registered: Sep 2017

posted October 24, 2017 10:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SoulOfABird     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Every time I look up things about my chart I begin to see that maybe I am really not the person I wish I was. Having so much Aquarius especially am Aquarius moon I am always described as someone who is emotionally detached and lacks compassion. This hurts me because I think having compassion is one of my most valued traits. I thought I was, but I guess maybe I really am an apathetic unemotional person. I hate that so much. Although I am a Pisces and the "head in the clouds" aspect to me is strong, I have all this Aquarius energy that blocks all the good empathetic parts of being a Pisces. I hate my Aquarius moon. I really hate the idea of being apathetic. Growing up I felt like I was sensitive, especially towards underdog people and the innocent and vulnerable. Now I dont even know anymore. I dont what I am anymore. I wish that maybe I felt empathy on a deeper level. I dont want to be that way to feed my ego, cause only lately have I felt like I developed the mentality that I want to have empathy for others to be "unique" (stupid Aquarius moon) or just have a good image of myself and prove to people that I am empathetic, when before I didnt have to do that. I didnt need to prove to myself or anyone that I am empathetic I just didnt care if others or my own self saw me that way. Do it just came to me naturally. Now I am so concious of trying to prove to myself that I am empathetic that it feels so ingenuine and I hate that. Now I am wondering if it just really is my Aquarius. Thanks to that I can not feel things on a deep level because Aquarius is in the way of my Piscean placements. It's really hard to describe what I mean but this has been something bothering me for a while now. I feel like I have no use on earth if I cant offer sincere compassion and reach my hand out to help those hurt. Especially animals since I have such a soft spot for animals. I wish I wasnt so detached. I wish I didnt have this stuipd Aqua moon. Not to mention I have horrible aspects to my personal planets. Making me seem so buisness like and what not. I dont even have good aspects to override my stupid Aquarius moon. I feel hurt right now. Because reading my chart does make me realize Im probably not seeing the so many ugly traits in me that I maybe made myself believe I dont have. I cant shake the fact that I heard if you dont yawn when someone else yawns then you lack empathy. That worries me so much. Maybe think maybe I am really apathetic or a sociopath or something. Yet when I really really think to yawn I can yawn after the fact? What kind of crazy psychopath stuff is that? I can't believe that I thought of my self as compassionate once yet really my Aquarius moon really was at play the whole time. I feel so useless in this world. I dont want to be a self absorbed person. Dont even get me started with my romance/love aspects. Venus square pluto, Mars in the 7th house. The description is so horrific to me, I am having second thoughts if I should even enter a relationship. I would have never thought that a romantic relationship could bring out those really ugly dominating traits in me that I really dont even think I had. I just dont see how I could he that way in a relationship. It makes me scared of myself and Id rather not have those traits. This just convinced me that I should stay single because if a relationship can bring out those traits in me Id rsther not. My charts just sucks. I hate my aspects to Venus, I hate my Aquarius placements, and I hate Mars in the 7th house's meaning. I think astrology has helped me realize that I dont like myself. I feel doomed with this cold personality. I dont know what to do. Im so frustrated it makes me sad. I have no answers. I just dont know. I am 20 now and as I get older I feel more doomed into becoming a cold self absorbed person and I hate it.

Here's my chart in case maybe someone can help me shed light onto my personality. Because quite honestly I see nothing.
http://i67.tinypic.com/168bg1t.jpg

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I appreciate the masterpiece that is you, because your existence alone is art

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lalalinda
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Posts: 5146
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 24, 2017 10:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lalalinda     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hello SoulOfABird! Welcome to LL

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"To be interesting, be interested"....Dale Carnegie

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althgrls
Knowflake

Posts: 70
From: canada
Registered: Jun 2012

posted October 24, 2017 10:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for althgrls     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
https://truenode.org/north-node-by-house/north-node-in-7th-house/

chiron 8th

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llewsacm
Knowflake

Posts: 846
From:
Registered: Mar 2015

posted October 24, 2017 11:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for llewsacm     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wow, this is awful! Astrology is supposed to help you understand better so you can do better, not bring you down!

First off, your chart does not define who you are for life. It meerly tells you where your energy is focused and what you are working with.

Even though you have aqua placements, they are in your 12th, which is a watery emotional house. It is said to be the house of self undoing. Which you are doing quite well at the moment. This feeling is very real to you, but, you should not let it run rampant on your thought process.

I feel like you happened to stumble across all the negative interpretations related to your chart and you are hanging on to them! Oh no, do not do that!

If you want to be more caring, and empathetic towards others, be that. It may not come across how you think others would approve, but who really cares. If it is coming from a genuine place, that's what matters honey.

Venus square Pluto is sexy. Mars in the 7th has the drive to see the relationship through. You have to see the other side of the coin. There's is always the flip side...so take a glimpse there and you should feel better about things!

We all have our crappy natal aspects and placements. It is better to embrace the good side of those placements! ❤️

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SoulOfABird
Knowflake

Posts: 32
From: California
Registered: Sep 2017

posted October 24, 2017 11:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SoulOfABird     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by llewsacm:
Wow, this is awful! Astrology is supposed to help you understand better so you can do better, not bring you down!

First off, your chart does not define who you are for life. It meerly tells you where your energy is focused and what you are working with.

Even though you have aqua placements, they are in your 12th, which is a watery emotional house. It is said to be the house of self undoing. Which you are doing quite well at the moment. This feeling is very real to you, but, you should not let it run rampant on your thought process.

I feel like you happened to stumble across all the negative interpretations related to your chart and you are hanging on to them! Oh no, do not do that!

If you want to be more caring, and empathetic towards others, be that. It may not come across how you think others would approve, but who really cares. If it is coming from a genuine place, that's what matters honey.

Venus square Pluto is sexy. Mars in the 7th has the drive to see the relationship through. You have to see the other side of the coin. There's is always the flip side...so take a glimpse there and you should feel better about things!

We all have our crappy natal aspects and placements. It is better to embrace the good side of those placements! ❤️


Thank you so much (: it's nice to hear these kind words. I just feel hurt that I wish I could feel deeper instead of being selfish. But you know for some reason I feel like if I have to think to be empathetic it isn't natural therefore it makes me feel insincere. Since empathy tends to just come naturally I think. Which I really dont wont it to be insincere. But you know I will take your advice and see how it works out. You're right it shouldnt matter what others percieve of me. I will try. I need to stop caring how I am percieved and care more about how the matters of my heart.

------------------
I appreciate the masterpiece that is you, because your existence alone is art

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SoulOfABird
Knowflake

Posts: 32
From: California
Registered: Sep 2017

posted October 24, 2017 11:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SoulOfABird     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by althgrls:
https://truenode.org/north-node-by-house/north-node-in-7th-house/

chiron 8th


What does this signify exactly? Does this help me be more kind in romantic partnerships than my Venus square pluto and Mars 7th house suggests?

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I appreciate the masterpiece that is you, because your existence alone is art

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MoonMystic
Knowflake

Posts: 833
From: ♤ Ethereal Umbra ♤
Registered: Nov 2016

posted October 24, 2017 11:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonMystic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
SoulofaBird,

Oh my I feel this and it isn't easy. I'm sorry you're struggling with your chart but I'm certain you have sparkling gems within it too! We aren't ALL rough edges.

Coming from the Aqua Moon energy, I can
completely understand your frustration.
You 'feel' genuine compassion and empathy for others but somehow to the 'others' it might not be easily detected. Like you, I connect better with fur babes because they don't require demonstrative attention as many humans might. Even having us 'prove' ourselves in many other fashions. As well fur babes read us and know when our minds(which align with our hearts) are fluttering about the universe or tethered to the 3D reality we seem to be connected within.

we can seem detatached and aloof, we aren't bad or sociopathic due to this ,it's just
we are clinical or detached by programming. This can be an excellent facet, if fine tuned and used for the right reasons.

I'm pretty detached due to my Aqu energy but what you're feeling could be your ASC. My mother is pretty aloof (Aqu rising) and
in some pretty dire times she's shown a pretty cold side to me when I was a small child. If you feel you're discompassionate or others treat you that way it likely is your ASC.
Princess Di was an Aqua Moon. I think we might have a certain self loathing tendency due to being perceived as less 'soft'. Self sabotage, self abuse, picking poor partners or the wrong circles of companions.

(My Sun and Venus are also AQU, it's been a picnic living with this much Aqu energy. lol)
People in my life have often hurt me and reacted as though I shouldn't felt hurt. Almost as though they thought it was an act.
or the few who thought I was just 'too' sensitive.

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hypatia238
Moderator

Posts: 7661
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014

posted October 25, 2017 12:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Radium and the mother of a past client of mine both have moon in aquarius and they are very compassionate people.. She still calls me up... Really kind person she is...

Anyways astrology interpretations can be generic and stereotypical so you have to use your own observations over time to get a more in depth description for placements and aspects. You have to read a lot of interpretations till you find one you feel fits and gets to the core.

You know who you are and astrology fits that not the other way around..

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MyRealName
Newflake

Posts: 19
From:
Registered: Nov 2015

posted October 25, 2017 03:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MyRealName     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This is how I see my moon in Aquarius



In all seriousness, there are lots of positive traits with this placement. For once, when all of the fire moons blow up from a crisis and when water moons drown in tears, we can detach ourselves from the stressful situation, think about it and help others to work things out. Sometimes emotional compassion is good and in other instances you Aqua moon can provide clarity to the problem.

You don't have to hate or love your chart, there are downsides in any placements. I know some Pisces moons that would trade their ability to feel with any Aqua.

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Sulkyarcher
Knowflake

Posts: 1458
From:
Registered: Dec 2013

posted October 25, 2017 07:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sulkyarcher     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by MyRealName:
This is how I see my moon in Aquarius



In all seriousness, there are lots of positive traits with this placement. For once, when all of the fire moons blow up from a crisis and when water moons drown in tears, we can detach ourselves from the stressful situation, think about it and help others to work things out. Sometimes emotional compassion is good and in other instances you Aqua moon can provide clarity to the problem.

You don't have to hate or love your chart, there are downsides in any placements. I know some Pisces moons that would trade their ability to feel with any Aqua.



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Sulkyarcher
Knowflake

Posts: 1458
From:
Registered: Dec 2013

posted October 25, 2017 08:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sulkyarcher     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by SoulOfABird:
Every time I look up things about my chart I begin to see that maybe I am really not the person I wish I was. Having so much Aquarius especially am Aquarius moon I am always described as someone who is emotionally detached and lacks compassion. This hurts me because I think having compassion is one of my most valued traits. I thought I was, but I guess maybe I really am an apathetic unemotional person. I hate that so much. Although I am a Pisces and the "head in the clouds" aspect to me is strong, I have all this Aquarius energy that blocks all the good empathetic parts of being a Pisces. I hate my Aquarius moon. I really hate the idea of being apathetic. Growing up I felt like I was sensitive, especially towards underdog people and the innocent and vulnerable. Now I dont even know anymore. I dont what I am anymore. I wish that maybe I felt empathy on a deeper level. I dont want to be that way to feed my ego, cause only lately have I felt like I developed the mentality that I want to have empathy for others to be "unique" (stupid Aquarius moon) or just have a good image of myself and prove to people that I am empathetic, when before I didnt have to do that. I didnt need to prove to myself or anyone that I am empathetic I just didnt care if others or my own self saw me that way. Do it just came to me naturally. Now I am so concious of trying to prove to myself that I am empathetic that it feels so ingenuine and I hate that. Now I am wondering if it just really is my Aquarius. Thanks to that I can not feel things on a deep level because Aquarius is in the way of my Piscean placements. It's really hard to describe what I mean but this has been something bothering me for a while now. I feel like I have no use on earth if I cant offer sincere compassion and reach my hand out to help those hurt. Especially animals since I have such a soft spot for animals. I wish I wasnt so detached. I wish I didnt have this stuipd Aqua moon. Not to mention I have horrible aspects to my personal planets. Making me seem so buisness like and what not. I dont even have good aspects to override my stupid Aquarius moon. I feel hurt right now. Because reading my chart does make me realize Im probably not seeing the so many ugly traits in me that I maybe made myself believe I dont have. I cant shake the fact that I heard if you dont yawn when someone else yawns then you lack empathy. That worries me so much. Maybe think maybe I am really apathetic or a sociopath or something. Yet when I really really think to yawn I can yawn after the fact? What kind of crazy psychopath stuff is that? I can't believe that I thought of my self as compassionate once yet really my Aquarius moon really was at play the whole time. I feel so useless in this world. I dont want to be a self absorbed person. Dont even get me started with my romance/love aspects. Venus square pluto, Mars in the 7th house. The description is so horrific to me, I am having second thoughts if I should even enter a relationship. I would have never thought that a romantic relationship could bring out those really ugly dominating traits in me that I really dont even think I had. I just dont see how I could he that way in a relationship. It makes me scared of myself and Id rather not have those traits. This just convinced me that I should stay single because if a relationship can bring out those traits in me Id rsther not. My charts just sucks. I hate my aspects to Venus, I hate my Aquarius placements, and I hate Mars in the 7th house's meaning. I think astrology has helped me realize that I dont like myself. I feel doomed with this cold personality. I dont know what to do. Im so frustrated it makes me sad. I have no answers. I just dont know. I am 20 now and as I get older I feel more doomed into becoming a cold self absorbed person and I hate it.

Here's my chart in case maybe someone can help me shed light onto my personality. Because quite honestly I see nothing.
http://i67.tinypic.com/168bg1t.jpg



Aquarius and Pisces both caring of humanity, but in different ways.

Aquariuses are very detached and are that way so that the universal energies don't overwhelm them. Imagine fighting for justice and getting overly emotional? It's a 'magical power' that the universe gave to Aquariuses, so that they can fight on a universal, and collective, level.

Pisces, on the other hand, prefer to be alone and not in the crowds so much. They are meant to work behind the scenes, work alone, and work in isolated places. Isolated places like mental hospitals, hospitals, prisons, or just places that are hidden, in general.

These are gross generalizations, so they're just parts of the puzzles and not meant to be taken too much at face value.

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SimplyLuna
Knowflake

Posts: 30
From: California
Registered: Jul 2017

posted October 25, 2017 01:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SimplyLuna     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am not sure if this helps but I am in love with someone who has Mars in the 7th house. I don't see this as bad placement. I see someone who is passionate and courages.
Every aspect has its goods and bads but this all base on our perception. It is really up to you to see those good qualities. Channel in yourself and tell yourself the good quality of being an Aquarius moon. Just because Aquarius can detach themselves it doesn't make them any less compassionate. After all Aquarius represent the humanitarian. They fight/ understand for the underdogs and oppression. That's very brave and compassionate to me.

I too have an air moon (libra) and that sometimes can make me act on logic more than my emotions. But without it, I wont be able to help my friends see point of views in things when they come to me with issues. Compassion isn't just about feeling it emotionally. It can be your approach/action/how you think. It is really what matters to you.

Your moon falls in your 12th house (which is naturally ruled by Pisces). Don't forget to look at the house system too. The signs aren't the end of all. So please try to remember to show compassion for yourself too.

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hypatia238
Moderator

Posts: 7661
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014

posted October 25, 2017 02:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hating yourself is not the solution to anything, the world is in desperate need of more self-love. Model self-love for others and uplift people by doing so, accept yourself as you are.

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Claudine
Knowflake

Posts: 98
From:
Registered: Mar 2016

posted October 25, 2017 05:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Claudine     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The thing that you are bothering shows that you care.
Something happened that you started really thinking about emphathy stuff?


PS hate my chart too btw, but for some other reasons

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Astrofiend
Knowflake

Posts: 139
From:
Registered: May 2017

posted October 26, 2017 01:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Astrofiend     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@SoulOfABird: It's perfectly normal to hate your chart/placements in ya chart. I've been studying astrology for around 10 years and sometimes I dislike certain placements/planets in my chart.

You're young so you are still figuring yourself out (this is a life long process btw). I would say try not to take everything you see/read in astrology to heart. Use discernment

I know it's easier said than done but it's the best advice to give you.

I got Pisces and Aquarius in my chart too and it can be tricky. But you will make it work.

BTW Cold Personalities unite!!!! To put it simply not everyone can/should be a bleeding heart.

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I am blogger aka theastrofiend or @strofiend

Here’s my blog link:

http://theastrofiend.blogspot.com/

I also have a Facebook page. If you like this blog and wanna follow me on Facebook search for Theastrofiend

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Kannon McAfee
Moderator

Posts: 2870
From: Portland, OR - USA
Registered: Oct 2011

posted October 26, 2017 01:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kannon McAfee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
SoulOfABird, this is an example of how separating the parts of an astrological birth chart and interpreting them separately can sometimes by misleading. Remember, each part of your birth chart is just that -- part of a whole. And no such astrological interpretations change what you know about yourself

You also don't get anywhere by hating yourself by proxy through the concepts interpreting the birth chart. If that is what astrology induces in you, it is better to totally drop it and build up your self esteem.

As to your chart, you can totally throw out whatever negatives you have come to associate with Moon in Aquarius, because we can all look at your chart and see Moon conjunct Jupiter -- an aspect with lots of potential when your generous and open nature is expressed. So there's something to focus on.

As I mentioned before, you have Mercury conjunct and parallel Venus (9° south). This is an aspect encouraging the merger of beauty and thought, and stimulating artistic appreciation and endeavors. It can also be that you are naturally prone to understand what/when kind words can be helpful to a person or in a situation.

A planetary grouping in Aquarius helps balance out the one in Pisces. This creates enough focus in your chart with Sun in highly sensitive Pisces and Moon/Jupiter in group oriented Aquarius.

Visionary is a keyword that would be good for you to contemplate. Ask yourself in what ways are you naturally visionary or able to imagine or envision connections, the future, the universe?

Go with that.

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The Declinations Guy - Expert birth chart rectification
Clickable Rising Signs>

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