posted June 17, 2018 06:51 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
You have venus in the 8th?

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posted June 18, 2018 03:56 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
@Melinn

You will find this video very helpful, she goes over the psychology behind obsession:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyKy8vBJJPU&t=20s

Venus rules our self worth
Venus in scorpio is in detriment and I feel so is venus in the 8th.

Hence why this placement becomes obsessed when rejected and clings on and tries to fix it bc we need them to come back around bc we need that approval from the other in a sense. The obsession comes more from the rejection than the loss of the person. We have decided subconsciously that what they think is important and if they don't like us then we are not worthy of love. There is also a part of them we admire that we are not owning in ourselves that feeds the obsession and makes us overvalue them. Maybe venus in the 8th house has a tendency to overvalue others making it challenging to see their own value clearly and at higher risk that our self-worth will be shaken by the behavior of others towards us. Venus in the 8th focuses on what they are losing when the connection ends instead of what the other is losing and what they have gained from it ending which is a more complete version of themselves. This over focus on loss (8th) instead of gain (2nd) also makes it harder to move on.

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Oh yes I loove Jewels videos! I found her channel 1 year ago, I havn't been able to look at all the videos yet so I had missed this one! Thank you for sharing! She has such amazing insight. Sometimes harsh but she is direct and on point!
Also Astrolada is awesome aswell!

Yes I really agree with the above about obsessions when I feel rejected. And your descriptive text sounds soo much like anxiously attached type right?

I have a strong sun-pluto aspect aswell and other plutonic stuff so I think it adds to charge me with extra obsessive energy :/

I have 2 advantages though, 1- I really know my self value. I can clearly see how I value people I like too much (venus-nep). I sacrifice too much etc, but I know very well my own value.

I never feel "useless", BUT I feel like my energy is off-putting and repulsive (too intense), that way I feel like a failure. and thats the second advantage 2- I have very good self insight, I'm very interested in learning about my behaviour, my triggers etc and I self-analyze, a lot! thats an advantge.

I know an other plutonic persons would value those intense sides of me and would not get repulsed.

However I guess my venus acts out of "noo, I'm being rejected!". Yes thats true, for ex, when my crush started to cool down, even though I logically could see and really understand what was going on and why, and even though I KNOW the best thing is to just let it go and not hold on to a person, its like my logical side gets “overridden”!

Its like I have 2 voices inside my head. One that is very logical and calm and does not mix emotions with logic. And the other one is the Pluto voice, obsessed, loves drama, loves holding on and feel pain etc.

posted June 18, 2018 04:26 PM            

"However I guess my venus acts out of "noo, I'm being rejected!". Yes thats true, for ex, when my crush started to cool down, even though I logically could see and really understand what was going on and why, and even though I KNOW the best thing is to just let it go and not hold on to a person, its like my logical side gets “overridden”!"

Ha, I can totally relate. Our emotions are so powerful but eventually the logical side kicks in enough, it just takes a while sometimes.

"Its like I have 2 voices inside my head. One that is very logical and calm and does not mix emotions with logic. And the other one is the Pluto voice, obsessed, loves drama, loves holding on and feel pain etc. I mean, I logically know that, I’m not being rejected. But my emotional side thinks otherwise… it’s a constant anxiety and obsession battle."

Ha I totally hear you! you are not alone. We should start a venus in the 8th support group club hahahaha

posted June 23, 2018 03:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by pocketrocket:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by hypatia238:
[b] You have venus in the 8th?

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Ps. I like your analysis, a lot [/B][/QUOTE]

posted June 23, 2018 04:16 PM            

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
I am pretty blunt, sag rising with IC in aries.

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posted July 05, 2018 04:13 AM            

And this following part:

Scorpio seeks a profoundly close union with another that is unrestrained much as pure orgasmic release pitches one head-long into an experience which can not be controlled. Scorpio seeks passion as a way to connect with the object of their desire whether it is another human being, or any relationship involving an engagement of energy such as work, creative expression, or even socio-political activity. I remember well a Scorpio client who was a top executive in a major financial firm asking me each time I did a session for him, “Where is my passion? How can I get it back?”

Soulful is a term that probably appeals to this sign more than air types. A plunge into the mysteries is often more about descent first before some type of triumphal ascension can occur. The emotional roller-coaster ride along the way could be described as exciting, terrifying, exhilarating, intensely stomach-churning, and profoundly cathartic.

posted July 05, 2018 04:16 AM            

"Their underlying desire for total commitment and trust is pursued with a single-mindedness that can appear obsessive. With the right person they reveal all with passionate abandon, but with the wrong person they shut down and withdraw into some unfathomable place.

When rejected or betrayed, their pain can transform into extreme anger which is often directed inward unless they have the confidence to express it openly. Such pain can shut them down for long periods of time, much like their fixed Leo counterpart, where they may actually nurse the pain privately rather than ‘licking’ it to heal. Pain that goes untended by healing methods that help to release and allow for an outward flow can turn toxic and freeze them into bitterness. Thawing out this pain is often through a new relationship that honors their wound and melts it away through love and compassion."

I think I blew it with my crush bc of this. What happened is, as we spook before about how 8th house Venus etc can feel smalles nuances of change and uninterest in him I panicked. I was gonna loose him. Its not like I'm desperate or something, I have found that, I will fight hard, really really hard to keep someone in my life. But Also I will let go completely when I understand I won't have that "magic" we had in the "Honey moon phase" and I feel like he won't gonna hold on to me after the emotional turbulences we both have caused. Then I will cut him off cold turkey!

So I also started to feel recentment and anger towards this person. When I lost control and also when I started to demand commitment from him in the name of friendship. Not that I asked him "commit to me" directly or anything but yeah thats an other story I have to go now haha.

posted July 05, 2018 11:20 AM            

I loved this, I can relate to that part:

posted July 06, 2018 06:40 AM            

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
Thanks Melinn for sharing all these, these feels more tailored to Scorpio than Venus in the 8th but is great info none the less.

I loved this, I can relate to that part:

"When rejected or betrayed, their pain can transform into extreme anger which is often directed inward unless they have the confidence to express it openly. Such pain can shut them down for long periods of time, much like their fixed Leo counterpart, where they may actually nurse the pain privately rather than ‘licking’ it to heal. Pain that goes untended by healing methods that help to release and allow for an outward flow can turn toxic and freeze them into bitterness. Thawing out this pain is often through a new relationship that honors their wound and melts it away through love and compassion."

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Oh great! Awesome I found something that relatable for you! She writes so insightfully about this often missunderstood sign and energy.

So how do you handle rejection like that? How is the process for you?

posted July 08, 2018 08:37 AM            

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
I open myself to the love already in my life, I practice radical acceptance by accepting they were in my life for the period of time they were supposed to be, I give myself time to heal with the expectation that I will heal and love again. I don't let bitterness have the last say, I fight that with unconditional love. I practice letting go and releasing them. When it feels right and I meet the right person I open myself to love again.

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I see. Acceptance and openess. Thats the best way indeed! Thats so strong of you! I’m happy you are able to fight negative feelings.

posted July 08, 2018 01:54 PM            

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Originally posted by Melinn:

I see. Acceptance and openess. Thats the best way indeed! Thats so strong of you! I’m happy you are able to fight negative feelings.

I tend to use negative feelings tiwards the person as a fuel so I can use it to ”push away”, like when you are gonna take a big jump. I read an pschylogy article about which methods people use and anger and bitterness is the top method. Also they explain it may not be good for the well being in the short term, bit in the long term its more effective then other methods to get over someone. Although yes its very energy consuming and makes you feel very bad about everything. I atleast do not blame everything on myself haha! Only some stuff I blame on myself and will use that to improve myself^^

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When I was 14 I dated an aqua for about 3 months but we lived far away from each other and neither of us had a car and he did not like affection which to me was a big turn off. He was an aqua with venus in capricorn and moon in scorpio. I broke up with him and we met up a few years later and he said he could feel the intense anger I had for him for a long time after I ended it. It surprised me to hear he could feel my anger that clearly. I did use anger to get over him but that was the only time in my life I did that. Don't get me wrong anger is part of the healing process and I am not a robot so some anger does play out when any relationship ends, its natural but after him I did not use anger as the main force for me getting over someone ever again. I will feel some anger shortly that perhaps comes and goes but will focus more on seeking to understand the person and the situation instead of judge, a very dialectic behavioral therapy approach or Buddhist approach, to seek to understand. However, anger to some extent will lurk its way in from time to time, is just that my main focus is to love them anyways and try to understand and open myself to love again, the more I do that if there is anger there it dissipates.

posted July 13, 2018 03:09 PM            

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Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
But what if Uranus is in the mix? Like having a Venus/Uranus aspect? I think it might change a bit maybe not wanting so much of a committed and deep bonding relationship?

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That is a great question. I have venus in Leo in the 8th sentagon jupiter conjunct uranus, my chart ruler.

Someone with venus in the 8th aspecting uranus I would say gives their heart and soul to who they love and wants to be consumed by them but has two different sides to their style of loving. On one hand they want to be consumed and feel possessed, likewise they want to consume their partner and possess them but at the same time they want to set them free and not possess them hoping their love and desire for the other is stronger than everything else leading them to always return willingly.

This person wants to posses their partner and be possessed by them at least in the act of sex but they also want their partner to be free, they also want to set them free, hoping they will keep returning on their own, that is the ultimate test of true love. The person can feel "you are mine" one second and the other think "I want you to be free, you don't belong to me" yet I want you to keep coming back to me bc what you feel is that strong, from a place of freedom, not obligation.

Is like you want to possess them and set them free at the same time. You want them to be yours but also be free and wild yet keep coming back to you. This explains why I am not attracted to married men at all.

posted July 13, 2018 08:28 PM            

You want to fall deeply in love and be consumed but once that happens you start to sabotage the relationship and want to break free from it...

We humans! Lol for freaking real.

Your desire to be consumed and for an intense connection is always in a state of battleling it out with your desire for freedom and to be loved freely with no expectations.