posted August 09, 2018 08:11 PM            

What does it actually mean?
Is there such a thing as being in love?
How do you recognise it?
How do you express love?
Can you accept love?

I'm interested. Also in how this perhaps connects to the chart.... Moon, Venus, 5th/11th house...

My Venus Uranus square on the angles makes this something which I analyse far more than is healthy, I suspect..

posted August 09, 2018 09:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
5th house love fades as you move into the 6th house and do the reality of day to day together which then starts to transform that kind of love into 7th house love...

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The 5th house love sounds like it dies completely - forever. I can't deal with that. I don't need 5th house love all the time, but I need that kind of romance, passion, and excitement to still exist in my relationship from time to time. I cannot handle 5th house love dying permanently. It makes me worry that I won't be able to find a lasting relationship because of my need to have these qualities remain alive.

When everyone talks about love after a certain point, they make it sound like something that's undesirable, because what existed before is just honeymoon relationship stuff. Well, yea, all relationships grow. I just don't want someone's feelings for me to change into something completely different. I want my romantic partner's love to expand and increase over time and become more romantic, more passionate, more exciting in the moments where these traits are appropriate. If someone's feelings change to the 7th house, I feel like they're only with me because of the commitment, not because they love me.

posted August 09, 2018 10:57 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lerena:
[QUOTE]
The 5th house love sounds like it dies completely - forever. I can't deal with that. I don't need 5th house love all the time, but I need that kind of romance, passion, and excitement to still exist in my relationship from time to time. I cannot handle 5th house love dying permanently. It makes me worry that I won't be able to find a lasting relationship because of my need to have these qualities remain alive.

When everyone talks about love after a certain point, they make it sound like something that's undesirable, because what existed before is just honeymoon relationship stuff. Well, yea, all relationships grow. I just don't want someone's feelings for me to change into something completely different. I want my romantic partner's love to expand and increase over time and become more romantic, more passionate, more exciting in the moments where these traits are appropriate. If someone's feelings change to the 7th house, I feel like they're only with me because of the commitment, not because they love me.

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Girl that part you quoted I have been feeling pain in the last hour on and off bc that reality pi*ses me off but I want to work with the reality of life, my virgo placements want to keep my crazy chart in check. I want to integrate these energies in my chart in a way that is realistic.

My venus conjunct mars in leo (romantic love) in the 8th (that regenerates and is unbreakable) trine neptune (that lasts forever, time/space continuum), means that in my mind romantic love should last forever, that it should just regenerate and be everlasting, that it should even defy time/space; some crazy stuff like that.

Tr uranus in my 5th along with this leo eclipse conjuncting exact my valentine in the 8th is helping me gain clarity about what I want, I want romance and passion, I don't want to move in with a guy or get married, I want to prolong that from happening for as long as possible until I am truly truly TRULY sure that is what I want and that this is the right thing and right time to move forward with such a step. I want every cell of my body to be sure if I ever go that route again, I don't want to feel manipulated by social constructs/expectations and or a guy into taking that step. I have to hold my ground and be diligent.

I have crazy relationship karma:

NN conjunct DC
DC in Gemini with Mercury Rx and intercepted squaring the nodes opposing my moon ruler of the 8th also squaring my nodes
Venus ruling the 5th conjunct Karma in the 8th
Juno opposite Saturn and Saturn inconjuncts Chiron

Add that between Mercury Rx and chart ruler Jupiter conjunct Uranus (3rd house ruler) I am already unique in my thinking process and views, marching to a different sound than the average person so to speak. So this kind of hints that solutions to my relationship karma will require a different approach and atypical creative solutions.

I am in this weird thinking mood this week, like my mind is all over the freaking place. Strangely I am not experiencing intense emotional highs and lows, just my mind is very restless this week. Merc Rx is hitting a bunch of my leo stuff in the 8th one by one, now is hitting my pandora, a few days ago my valentine, when it went Rx it was hitting my venus/mars....

On a positive note my mercury rx conjuncts exact asteroid SMILE and asteroid Nofretete but even the sabian symbol for it is highly karmic:

PHASE 167 (VIRGO 17°): A VOLCANIC ERUPTION.

KEYNOTE: The explosive energy of long-repressed contents of the subconscious.

We are dealing here with the dramatic release of energies which have been kept in check by the outer shell of the ego controlled consciousness. It may be a spectacular catharsis, but it often takes paths of destruction. Yet unless some form of purification by fire is experienced, the inner pressure of the karmic past or of more recent frustrations would shake up perhaps even more destructively the very foundations of the personality.

At this second stage, the objective confrontation with an image of the karmic past is replaced by a subjective irruption of repressed memories and primitive cravings. Everything must be released from the psyche seeking to attain the transfigured state. The soul must become empty, the mind translucent. The Keyword is EXPLOSION.

^^WTF LOL
My subconscious needs to explode?

posted August 10, 2018 01:39 AM            

but after a certain period of time you get sick of each other and run out of things to talk about. but at the same time.... you can also grow and become MORE interested in the person! I used to grow more interested and always wanted a forever love. but I recently realized that getting to know someone is like watching your favorite tv series. and after watching it long enough it does get boring. but

some people just want to hold on to a feeling. or a memory. also when we get older what happens is that everyone is adulting and starting families and because of that its harder to find companionship and maybe you wamt someone to sleep with at night... so long lasting love will never be an outdated concept! but at the same time if you are young I recommend you aren't like me and you take relationships less seriously because maybe them not working out is a blessing because you have more opportunities to learn from your mistakes and to see whats out there and understand some stuff.

I have Jupiter in 7th. so trust me when I say ive seen plenty! LOL.

But its also in Scorpio.... so its like I DIDNT WANT TO
but like I said its a blessing in disguise. as are all things... with the right frame of perspective...

posted August 10, 2018 01:47 AM            

I love those people that don't take things to heart. the kind that don't care so much about frivolities and just let it go. those careless people do have a good side it seems

theres a pro and con to everything. I do a lot of self reflecting to understand concepts like these.
but sometimes the bounce makes the ride more fun!!!!!

I love my Mom and Dad. because ive said and done some pretty hurtful things in my childhood and their love was so strong they looked beyond it.
Thats the kind of love everyone should aspire to be and have!!!!

posted August 10, 2018 10:07 AM            

People can say whatever about what happens when you're with someone long enough. If there can't be romance, passion, and excitement in the relationship after a certain amount of time - ever again - I am better off alone. I need these things. If everyone says these things can't remain in a relationship forever, I want to just become a hermit. It'll be painful, but I'm not giving up what I need for another person just so I'll have companionship. I refuse to compromise here. If no one can at least occasionally give me what I need just because romantic love doesn't last forever, having romantic love with anyone on this planet is not worth it.

Why does romantic love ever exist if it's just meant to burn out and die completely?

I'm not saying that romantic love has to be part of the picture 24/7. It's just painful to think that romantic love has no place in a marriage or a relationship after a certain amount of time. Maybe it's not worth ever having it at all if it can't be sustained.

If the romance, passion, and excitement can't be sustained, I'd rather devote that energy to myself and only myself. Falling in love seems very pointless to me from how other people describe the fading of it.

Romantic love should have a time and a place just like everything else, but that time and place shouldn't just be in the past forever.

Why does it have to die? Why do people have to stop loving each other that way? Why do qualities of the honeymoon period have no appropriate time to exist after it's over? It's confusing and I don't know if I can handle a relationship just for commitment to be all that is ever there.

posted August 10, 2018 12:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Desiring Shadows:
Romantic love doesn’t have to die. But In a long term relationship it tends to.

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posted August 10, 2018 12:57 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
I think perhaps some marriages are able to keep that romantic love alive to some extent even after they enter the 6th house phase like you are hoping but I am skeptical but think about it...you are hanging out 24/7 living together for 20 plus years, you get to know that person so well all the mystery is gone after a while and you get super use to them, the relationship becomes part of a monotony and your daily functioning, essentially it becomes part of your routine which is comforting and you enjoy that but not exactly exciting.

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It makes me wonder if I'm better off without a romantic partner. Why should I love anyone romantically if the romance is just going to die anyway later? You say there's a point to it, but if it just dies, I'm not personally comfortable with the reality of this fact. I might be better off never being in love in the first place or just being in love in silence. I know people try to explain why romantic love isn't meant to last, but it still makes me think I'm not loved without it. There can be more there besides just romantic love. I just can't handle losing it so maybe I should never have a honeymoon phase and should just live my life on this planet being single forever.

The mystery isn't necessary. I know that over time it's natural for the mystery of getting to know someone will be solved. You will know basically everything about that person and what they're like to live with. This is fine. Losing the romance and passion is not, not in my case. Everyone else can most likely handle it, because the norm is the norm for a reason. It just deeply upsets me to lose the romance and passion and I'm not sure how I feel about being with someone just to know they will eventually stop loving me romantically and passionately after living with me for a certain amount of time. I'm probably better off single for life. It would hurt, but I wouldn't lose the romance, passion, and excitement if I don't ever have those things with a person in the first place.

I know I'm overreacting. I know what I'm saying might seem like a "youth" thing. I know that at some point maybe I will find a way to handle the truth and bitter reality that currently tears at me and destroys me. I know maybe someday I won't be broken down over what people say about this topic. Right now, it's just difficult to tell if that will happen or if I'll just have to suffer in silence without the fulfillment of these needs in my life. The pain of losing them is so great I'd rather just be without them entirely if I can't have them for the rest of my life with a person.

It's somewhat unlike me to make posts like this. My pain may be clouding my ability to understand or find something appealing about the love everyone else talks about. I really just want romantic love to still be part of what everyone else talks about. If it's unrealistic, the conflict from this truth may haunt me until my death.

I apologize if I seem dismissive. I'm just very, very hurt. I'm lost and I don't know how to deal with what happens to love. I don't know how to calm down and become comfortable with the truth.

posted August 11, 2018 03:54 PM            

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Spica Astro Predictions

posted August 11, 2018 04:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lerena:
[QUOTE]I know that people say all this and I see what they're trying to say, but I can't handle losing that. Even after 20+ years living with a partner, I still want there to be romance, passion, excitement, and the "honeymoon" qualities when these things are appropriately timed. I don't need them all the time. I'm just not able to handle losing them completely.

It makes me wonder if I'm better off without a romantic partner. Why should I love anyone romantically if the romance is just going to die anyway later? You say there's a point to it, but if it just dies, I'm not personally comfortable with the reality of this fact. I might be better off never being in love in the first place or just being in love in silence. I know people try to explain why romantic love isn't meant to last, but it still makes me think I'm not loved without it. There can be more there besides just romantic love. I just can't handle losing it so maybe I should never have a honeymoon phase and should just live my life on this planet being single forever.

The mystery isn't necessary. I know that over time it's natural for the mystery of getting to know someone will be solved. You will know basically everything about that person and what they're like to live with. This is fine. Losing the romance and passion is not, not in my case. Everyone else can most likely handle it, because the norm is the norm for a reason. It just deeply upsets me to lose the romance and passion and I'm not sure how I feel about being with someone just to know they will eventually stop loving me romantically and passionately after living with me for a certain amount of time. I'm probably better off single for life. It would hurt, but I wouldn't lose the romance, passion, and excitement if I don't ever have those things with a person in the first place.

I know I'm overreacting. I know what I'm saying might seem like a "youth" thing. I know that at some point maybe I will find a way to handle the truth and bitter reality that currently tears at me and destroys me. I know maybe someday I won't be broken down over what people say about this topic. Right now, it's just difficult to tell if that will happen or if I'll just have to suffer in silence without the fulfillment of these needs in my life. The pain of losing them is so great I'd rather just be without them entirely if I can't have them for the rest of my life with a person.

It's somewhat unlike me to make posts like this. My pain may be clouding my ability to understand or find something appealing about the love everyone else talks about. I really just want romantic love to still be part of what everyone else talks about. If it's unrealistic, the conflict from this truth may haunt me until my death.

I apologize if I seem dismissive. I'm just very, very hurt. I'm lost and I don't know how to deal with what happens to love. I don't know how to calm down and become comfortable with the truth.

Edit: The good thing about this thread though is it made me cry - a lot. You have no idea how much pain I've been through having to avoid crying just because my eyes were red and I didn't want the crying to make my eyes worse. Since April, I have been unable to cry properly and it has been a huge source of stress. As upset as I am over all this, all the crying over it is like seeing the sun after being in the hospital for months. Crying is my main form of release for emotional pain. Not being able to cry has made it difficult to deal with my emotional issues.

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I am glad you are crying and getting that important emotional release!!!!

If I were you I would keep trying to find that kind of marriage were the romantic love is kept alive to some extent through out the years. I think if your romantic ideals are realistic with the right person this can happen and could be achievable.

posted August 11, 2018 04:46 PM            

To demonstrate what I mean by dramatic and blown out of proportion, my interpretation was that these things completely vanish after you live with someone for so long. They just stop existing. Completely. You never experience them with your partner ever again and the relationship just becomes a lifeless void of responsibility, commitment, and work. You'll never have fun again and the entire relationship is nothing but work, work, and more work forever, because your marriage is not anything like the beginning of the relationship, which means romantic love doesn't even mature. Romantic love is meant to die after all so it can't become an adult. Romantic love is for teenagers. Adults don't have their own version of it, because adults don't experience romantic love and expecting it to transform and mature is nothing but a fantasy.

I wanted to know if romantic love ever becomes a much stronger, deeper version of it in adulthood, meaning that it continues to exist, just without the rose-colored glasses. I didn't ask to know this, however. I was too busy crying and being upset to think clearly enough to properly communicate.

I'm not sure what the responses to this post will be, but I suspect that romantic love, romance, passion, and excitement all exist in a marriage. The mystery is just gone so marriage partners have to find new ways to experience these things with each other. Without the rose-colored glasses, when the couple does experience these things, they're realistic versions based on knowing who the other person really is and the lack of mystery makes it easier to have these things without fear of being judged and rejected.

Hopefully, this post is a bit less emotionally charged. I don't know if anyone will agree with what I've said here necessarily, but I think all my freaking out made it difficult to have a serious discussion. All the crying was a good thing though, at least.

quote:

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If I were you I would keep trying to find that kind of marriage were the romantic love is kept alive to some extent through out the years. I think if your romantic ideals are realistic with the right person this can happen and could be achievable.

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posted August 11, 2018 05:10 PM            

Perhaps, after lots of heartbreaks you vowed to yourself never to get hurt again. Or perhaps, after you’ve guarded your heart for so long, you have developed a big fear to even give someone a chance to break your heart.

posted August 12, 2018 11:04 PM            

Moving forward I recommend you really examine the natal of the guys you date bf even looking at the synastry.

Like my chart ruler is Jupiter conjunct Uranus exact, I am restless, I get bored easily. Add I have DC in Gemini. I think I was socialized to want to get married as a Latin woman growing up watching Telenovelas with my grandma and my venus conjunct mars in the 8th with moon in pisces ruling the 8th loved the Telenovelas. That part of me wanted to get married and was stronger than my Jupiter conjunct Uranus in the 12th house. I think bc my chart ruler falls in the 12th it took me a lot longer to get in touch with that part me and fully integrate it into my personality, even though I have always been super restless. That side of me that just wants to be free was partially hidden from me, I wasn't able to own it fully bc it was in my 12th so I made decisions early on without knowing my nature and myself fully.

posted August 14, 2018 08:49 AM            

For me, this is something I've been working on a lot recently as well, particularly since my second nodal return.

True love is unconditional. That's a concept most people are, if we're being honest, incapable of truly understanding. We're brought up that love is *** -for-tat - I do this so you do that. I make you feel this way, you make me feel that way.

It's 'if I like what they like or I act a certain way, they'll love me back'.

If you do something wrong, the other person is within their rights to walk away.

Unconditional love is acceptance. It's also NOT about attachment.

Our concept of romantic love is based on attachment. We get with people - or stay with them unhappily - because we're scared to be lonely, or because we see what benefits they can bring to our lives.

But really, unconditional love is not about that. Unconditional love is about loving yourself, and accepting yourself as you are. When you can do that, you're able to accept another person as they are. This doesn't mean accepting bad or abusive behaviour, far from it. But loving them unconditionally means you see the person beyond the behaviour. You do not judge them.

You may need to walk away and detach, but that doesn't mean you have to stop loving them, quite the opposite even.

I have learnt this in the last 2-3 years. Partially after the birth of my son. I didn't have the rush of love that parents talked about, but I kept on. And I realised that love is keeping going when you have nothing left - and you get nothing back (other than keeping a small human alive). When you are exhausted and you get woken again by a screaming baby, or when you're caring for a spouse with dementia at the end of their life.

That's what love is. Giving with no thought of return.

In an adult context, I learned the distinction in the last couple of years, through a close connection with a special friend. He is not perfect, he is making some errors of judgement, he's not dealing with things like he needs to. Sometimes it hurts him and others. But beyond the pain is the deep understanding of 'I see you, I accept you, I will not tell you to change, but if you choose to I will walk with you without judgement'

Incidentally, we have a valentine-jupiter double whammy, and there's no doubt in my mind that that gives us a starting foundation.

I have an empty 5th house, but a very busy 7th. One source I read once said that the 5th house is where the play happens, the flings and affairs. 7th house is where partnerships are formed and love is given a platform - and then 8th house is where the commitment happens (and where the transformation really occurs).

My NN is in the 7th house, conjunct mars and jupiter - so figuring all this out is important for me life path. It's taken me a string of negative relationships to spot the pattern and find new awareness. I have saturn in the 7th as well, square venus. It's an important lesson I've been brought here to learn.

What I thought was love - the tummy flip ad excitement and the fear, above all the fear (that they wouldn't love me if I did 'x' or didn't look a certain way etc) - none of that is love.