posted February 09, 2019 04:17 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
was he always like that or did your mother's death cause a shift in his personality?

have you ever just been blunt with him about what he does? just curious

edit: i ask because i probably wouldve just straight up said "i don't talk to you about things because nothing you say is useful and you don't seem to want to hear it other than to criticize" and just repeat something along those lines every time

with sag it's better to just be upfront and not try to spare feelings

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Before my mom passed he would never talk to me about his emotional issues because he would have my mom to do that with. I also took a lot of his **** and put up with up because I was afraid to stand up for myself (he was physically abusive, pulled a kitchen knife on me when I was 9-10 years old over throwing a fit about killing myself).

posted February 09, 2019 04:27 PM            

Your natal chart looks very similar to your father's. I found that fascinating. Mars on the Asc for both of you

But your Dad's Draco Moon in Aries may irritates your more mature Draco Cap Moon.

You also have Chiron on Cancer opposing your Moon. And this makes you quite sensitive and strongly emotional.

Your Draco Pluto in Cancer opposes your Draco Moon and this has you swing to & from feeling strongly in tune then feeling doubtful and disconnected the next.

Your Saturn in 7th has your father depend on you because together with your Draco Moon in Cap, you are to him mature enough yo understand him.

But unfortunately with his Draco Aries Moon, he doesn't return the favour. And this sense of ill rapport grates your Draco Chiron/Pluto Cancer conjunction-which needs closeness. You need closeness.

The wound is therein in Cancer or the home. And i see that your natal chart has a full 3rd house conjunct Ic/4th house planet with Sun also included therein

The more planets there are in a house or connected to a particular house, the more problematic the house is. And that is because getting the energy to "sing" together in unison is no easy task.

posted February 09, 2019 04:35 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
@Electro DGX

Your natal chart looks very similar to your father's. I found that fascinating. Mars on the Asc for both of you

But your Dad's Draco Moon in Aries may irritates your more mature Draco Cap Moon.

You also have Chiron on Cancer opposing your Moon. And this makes you quite sensitive and strongly emotional.

Your Draco Pluto in Cancer opposes your Draco Moon and this has you swing to & from feeling strongly in tune then feeling doubtful and disconnected the next.

Your Saturn in 7th has your father depend on you because together with your Draco Moon in Cap, you are to him mature enough yo understand him.

But unfortunately with his Draco Aries Moon, he doesn't return the favour. And this sense of ill rapport grates your Draco Chiron/Pluto Cancer conjunction-which needs closeness. You need closeness.

The wound is therein in Cancer or the home. And i see that your natal chart has a full 3rd house conjunct Ic/4th house planet with Sun also included therein

The more planets there are in a house or connected to a particular house, the more problematic the house is. And that is because getting the energy to "sing" together in unison is no easy task.

Your chart is fascinating. Really

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I see.

He also comes to me because he says that I have my "mom's spirit".

posted February 09, 2019 04:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Electro DGX:
Before my mom passed he would never talk to me about his emotional issues because he would have my mom to do that with. I also took a lot of his **** and put up with up because I was afraid to stand up for myself (he was physically abusive, pulled a kitchen knife on me when I was 9-10 years old over throwing a fit about killing myself).

Since my mom's passing I've been straight up with him about everything to the point of being brutally honest. With him he won't get it unless you throw it right at him full-on so that's what he's getting. It also makes me feel better with not feeling so pushed around all the time.

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so he's trying to push your mother's role on you then on some level

that's ****** , i'm glad you're standing up for yourself at least i know that can be hard for some people when abuse has happened, it can take a lot

it seems like it's a position where your hands are pretty tied and there's not much you can do to make things better other than work around his personality and not take the things he does personally

posted February 09, 2019 05:02 PM            

But let this not "obligate" you to be anyone's punching bag. All relationships need reciprocity in order to be productive. That is why they are called "relationships" i.e we need to " relate" back and forth with each other.

Worthy to note is that your natal Moon conjuncts your Draco Asc in Gemini close to exact. And i should have guessed this as you write in a very emotive style.

With Moon in Gemini, talking about feelings is important. And so when on the ascendant, the individual processes life through the emotional mind and can result in acute sensitivity to the environment which finds ease of expression in the excellent command of language(Your Draco Sun is.in meticulous Virgo btw)

So the natal Moon conjunct Draco Asc is also where the moodiness and sensitivity of feelings comes from. But I wouldn't rule it out as plain "moodiness per se, as it is more a response to external nuances and their conflict with inner awareness.

So with the added Pluto opposing the Draco Asc, you can feel suspicious or ill at ease in letting the world into your sensitive nature. Sometimes this aspect may suggest an inherent fear of being taken advantage of , should you express it your vulnerabilities.

I have my Draco Moon in my natal 1st house and it certainly adds a great deal of sensitivity to my outlook. Add to that natal Pluto squares my Draco Asc in Aqua. So there is suspicion on my end too.

But my sister, who has her Moon conjunct her Asc from the 12th house is very moody and ultra sensitized to her exernal environment to a point of being psychic.

posted February 09, 2019 05:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
so he's trying to push your mother's role on you then on some level

that's ****** , i'm glad you're standing up for yourself at least i know that can be hard for some people when abuse has happened, it can take a lot

it seems like it's a position where your hands are pretty tied and there's not much you can do to make things better other than work around his personality and not take the things he does personally

he's not still abusing you is he?

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posted February 09, 2019 05:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Your father could be right. That emphasis of planets in and around the 4th/Ic suggest that you are the nest keeper.

But let this not "obligate" you to be anyone's punching bag. All relationships need reciprocity in order to be productive. That is why they are called "relationships" i.e we need to " relate" back and forth with each other.

Worthy to note is that your natal Moon conjuncts your Draco Asc in Gemini close to exact. And i should have guessed this as you write in a very emotive style.

With Moon in Gemini, talking about feelings is important. And so when on the ascendant, the individual processes life through the emotional mind and can result in acute sensitivity to the environment which finds ease of expression in the excellent command of language(Your Draco Sun is.in meticulous Virgo btw)

So the natal Moon conjunct Draco Asc is also where the moodiness and sensitivity of feelings comes from. But I wouldn't rule it out as plain "moodiness per se, as it is more a response to external nuances and their conflict with inner awareness.

So with the added Pluto opposing the Draco Asc, you can feel suspicious or ill at ease in letting the world into your sensitive nature. Sometimes this aspect may suggest an inherent fear of being taken advantage of , should you express it your vulnerabilities.

I have my Draco Moon in my natal 1st house and it certainly adds a great deal of sensitivity to my outlook. Add to that natal Pluto squares my Draco Asc in Aqua. So there is suspicion on my end too.

But my sister, who has her Moon conjunct her Asc from the 12th house is very moody and ultra sensitized to her exernal environment to a point of being psychic.

She has no interference from natal or draco. So the feelings come through "unedited"

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Interesting,

A lot of what you said resonates. Although I also have my draconic Mars right on my natal Moon as well considering that I have Mars conjunct ASC exact, so I suppose that is also a major influence on my Moon as well. I have had people tell me that it is also partly why I resonate a lot with Scorpio Moon descriptions (aside from the Moon-Pluto what-not).

I do see the world through an emotional lens but I also spend a lot of energy trying to keep other's emotions in check/making sure everyone else is emotionally ok. I feel like people will often come to me about their issues a lot and people have told me that they do care a lot about how I feel on the situation. Sometimes I'll even say what's on other people's mind without them having to tell me anything.

posted February 09, 2019 05:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Electro DGX:
Not as of late, as far as physically. We have had some nasty arguments before but you can't have any expectations with him. At the moment he is seeing someone so that helps with getting a breather and what-not but it is what it is. There's just so much that goes on that I would rather not go into detail.

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i understand, just wanted to gauge the situation you're in to see what level of avoiding him is possible

i was actually going to say him dating should probably help a little, my fiancee's mother is a lot like that and when she started dating after my fiancee's father died how self absorbed she was would work out since she'd leave for long periods of time

especially once she got more serious with some of the guys and more comfortable with dating

posted February 09, 2019 06:48 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Electro DGX:
My dad is a 7th house Sag Moon, and it seems that whenever anyone has issues that he hasn't dealt with before, he just thinks they are stupid/meaningless bs and that everybody should just suck it up and deal with it. Yet he can't handle when people do the same to him about his problems.

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I always feel like my problems are stupid and meaningless to her and she's unable to handle that she perceives other people thinking of her problems as stupid and meaningless. I'm starting to become numb to her, because she keeps acting like I should just suck it up and deal with it, and as a result of how she's treating me, I'm beginning to lose my ability to care about her.

This woman has Moon in Aries in 12th house. I'm doubtful that's the only indicator she's like this, but the problem is her Moon is in Aries and it's within orb for a conjunction to my Mars. The manifestation is we both anger and frustrate each other a lot. Her Ascendant is in Aries too and my Mercury is conjunct it. Our synastry is a serious mess.

The woman I'm talking about has conjunctions to my South Node and she displays behavior I'm starting to outgrow. It annoys me that she will trivialize the problems of others and she can't handle people doing that to her. When people talk to her about her behavior, she throws a fit.

I'm most affected by the woman treating me like this, because we have similarities that make our personalities clash and I likely have the worst synastry with her compared to most other people she interacts with.

This woman has Venus in Leo, North Node in Leo, and Neptune in Sagittarius. She has Sun in Cancer, Mercury in Cancer, and Mars in Cancer. Her chart is dominated by Cardinal placements.

posted February 09, 2019 10:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lerena: I know someone like this. She's the person I was venting about in the "Transits and Mood Log" thread. I came across as dismissive myself, but honestly, she has done the exact thing you just mentioned over and over and over and over. I've been the main person she does this to even though I've bent over backwards to not dismiss her and it has now become fuel for resentment toward her treatment of me and the problems I have.

I always feel like my problems are stupid and meaningless to her and she's unable to handle that she perceives other people thinking of her problems as stupid and meaningless. I'm starting to become numb to her, because she keeps acting like I should just suck it up and deal with it, and as a result of how she's treating me, I'm beginning to lose my ability to care about her.

This woman has Moon in Aries in 12th house. I'm doubtful that's the only indicator she's like this, but the problem is her Moon is in Aries and it's within orb for a conjunction to my Mars. The manifestation is we both anger and frustrate each other a lot. Her Ascendant is in Aries too and my Mercury is conjunct it. Our synastry is a serious mess.

The woman I'm talking about has conjunctions to my South Node and she displays behavior I'm starting to outgrow. It annoys me that she will trivialize the problems of others and she can't handle people doing that to her. When people talk to her about her behavior, she throws a fit.

I'm most affected by the woman treating me like this, because we have similarities that make our personalities clash and I likely have the worst synastry with her compared to most other people she interacts with.

This woman has Venus in Leo, North Node in Leo, and Neptune in Sagittarius. She has Sun in Cancer, Mercury in Cancer, and Mars in Cancer. Her chart is dominated by Cardinal placements.

I just want to say that the things you've said about your father in this thread apply to the woman I'm talking about as well. At first glance, their charts look different enough that the indicators for him being like this are most likely not the same ones.

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posted February 09, 2019 11:34 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by bluesky:
I would second (or third or fourth)the Moon in Sag/ Sun in Sag theory.
(Father Sun Aries with Moon in Sag, Mother with Sun in Sag).
These people have no emotions, are incredibly irresponsible, bullying and cruel. There is the element of "suck it up and get on with it", "I don't know why you can't be more RESILIENT like ME", etc.etc.

There is a constant cycle of your running to them to try to get your needs met, and being justifiably disappointed when this doesn't happen. For this reason, you might as well forget them, and get your needs met elsewhere, because they don't have the capacity for a more refined level of understanding. In fact, I'm not actually sure what talents they do have.

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Man, did you get burned by a Sag Moon? lol. Totally true though. My Mom is a Sag Moon, and I have Cap conj Saturn Moon so you can see how that went. My last Partner Hopeful was also a Sag Moon and they've actually explicitly expressed the "[I hate whiners] get over it" sentiment (bold) in a rant. As for the italics... that hurts (see my Moon), also how I felt from the Partner Hopeful.

posted February 10, 2019 01:46 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by bluesky:
When they're a parent, there is the expectation that they will meet some needs, but my parents successfully managed to do neither - even meeting the most basic needs like food, clothing, facilities for adequate bathing, etc. And aside from that, the nurturing side wasn't there either, in any shape or form.

Sagittarius is the least nurturing, and most irresponsible sign. I can't tell you how many guys I know who have had problems with Sagittarius wives, although mind you, I'm not too keen on Scorpio, Libra or Virgo either. These are the most unwarrantedly spoiled signs of the zodiac.

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With Sag,I have a problem with the guys. I see this philosophical armchair approach with dudes being very possible. And also likely included therein, is lack of taking any responsibility. So i don't dispute Electro DGX's experience.

But i also note that my mother who is Sag Sun, Cancer Mars,Jupiter in Pisces and Mercury in Scorpio has been a fantastic Mom. With my irresponsible Cancer Sun,Cap Moon Dad being the most detached and least involved.

This is despite the many Leo placements in my Dads chart. And having "take responsibility" Saturn in conjunction with the Moon. It translated to lack of love or attention with ALL his children.

In Draco, my Dad also has Cap/Gem Moon. Draco Sun sits on his Cap Moon and Saturn. And my Mom has Draco Gem/Sco Moon.There are also many Aqua placements in my Dad's Draco chart. Whilst with Mom, its Cancer placements that sit on her natal Mars in Cancer.

So I think its also other chart placements and interactions to be considered. And also noted from all this is that the child could speak a different emotive language from the parent.

Like a parent with Leo Moon might have to do more to establish rapport and closeness with a shy Pisces Moon child(barring other factors)

A sag Moon child might feel themselves heavily restricted and demoralized by strict Cap Moon parents. As much as Aries Moon mother may fail to recognize the particular and inherently reserved nature of a Virgo moon daughter.

Parents often think in terms of "one approach fits all" when it comes to their children. And it does not work like that long term as kids are individuals, not extensions of their parents identities or egos.

So parents need to develop awareness of this. As its not "spoiling" the child or treating the child with kid gloves per se. But its loving and connecting with the child in a way they can decode and internalize.

posted February 10, 2019 02:12 AM            

Vegetarianism is another hot topic, despite the fact their actual commitment to the cause is wobbly. They will happily spout regurgitated nonsense heard from their guru of the week for hours.

Oh and don't, under any circumstances, mention their longstanding anorexia, because they would never admit to it, and therefore, neither should you. That goes for anything truthful, by the way. Truth is not allowed to be mentioned; lies, deceit and image, however, are everything.

Sagittarius is NOT a truthful sign, however it may be painted. One of my mother's chief complaints against me was that I was "too honest" and "too nice".

posted February 10, 2019 02:18 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by bluesky:
The best way to at least temporarily derail those with a Sagittarian influence is to talk about instances of animal cruelty. Since they value animals more than humans (my mother famously said to me when I was 12: "I'd rather have animals than you") they will immediately go gaga.

Vegetarianism is another hot topic, despite the fact their actual commitment to the cause is wobbly. They will happily spout regurgitated nonsense heard from their guru of the week for hours.

Oh and don't, under any circumstances, mention their longstanding anorexia, because they would never admit to it, and therefore, neither should you. That goes for anything truthful, by the way. Truth is not allowed to be mentioned; lies, deceit and image, however, are everything.

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My dad is hardly anyone that advocates against animal cruelty. In fact whenever the animals **** him off he makes threats to them. My cat keeps peeing in the basement in the same spot over and over again, and my dad has grabbed him by the neck, shoved his face in the pee and shoved him across the carpet before throwing him across the room. He's done it at least 5-6 times because the cat keeps doing it. He doesn't actually care about animals.

posted February 10, 2019 07:39 AM            

However unpleasant you think his rants might be - try to see him as a little man on his soapbox, who is devoid of the sense of humour to see himself as a joke. In fact, do just that. See him as a joke, albeit a bad one - and attempt to remove yourself from his presence whenever possible.

As for the cruelty to cats - why do people take their spite out on cats and dogs? My ex, an Aquarius with a Leo moon, used to pick the cat up by its tail. The pleading from his Cancer mum had no effect whatsoever, but my walking into the living-room and roaring till all the window-panes rattled, "PUT THAT CAT DOWN!!!!!" turned him weak as a lamb. He certainly never did it in front of me again.

posted February 12, 2019 04:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Electro DGX:
What can explain someone being emotionally dismissive and/or ignorant? Should I look to the moon?

My dad is a 7th house Sag Moon, and it seems that whenever anyone has issues that he hasn't dealt with before, he just thinks they are stupid/meaningless bs and that everybody should just suck it up and deal with it. Yet he can't handle when people do the same to him about his problems.

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posted February 12, 2019 05:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Leo-Cancer98:
Is it true that people with Moon in the 7th House can't live without being in a relationship?

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i have a 7th house moon and i haven't been single for a significant amount of time since i was a teenager

i've also dated multiple people at once and have had fwbs situations while in my relationship

my fiancee and i have been together for 14 years so far, but in that time there was a couple weeks where we werent together and i was talking to some chick who i was going to stay with for a bit while also talking to other potential hook ups

posted February 12, 2019 06:41 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by bluesky:
In that case - definetely the Leo throwing his weight around here, although the Sagittarius Moon doesn't help.

However unpleasant you think his rants might be - try to see him as a little man on his soapbox, who is devoid of the sense of humour to see himself as a joke. In fact, do just that. See him as a joke, albeit a bad one - and attempt to remove yourself from his presence whenever possible.

As for the cruelty to cats - why do people take their spite out on cats and dogs? My ex, an Aquarius with a Leo moon, used to pick the cat up by its tail. The pleading from his Cancer mum had no effect whatsoever, but my walking into the living-room and roaring till all the window-panes rattled, "PUT THAT CAT DOWN!!!!!" turned him weak as a lamb. He certainly never did it in front of me again.

Have a think about ways of protecting yourself (and the cat!!!)

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posted February 12, 2019 07:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Electro DGX:
My dad constantly goes on about just how ****** off he really gets when he's mad (Mars-Asc conjunct I suppose). If I just outright screamed at him he definitely wouldn't put up with it (he poked a girl in the eye once who threatened to slash my grandma's tires). Even when my mom would yell at him to stop treating the pets like that (Sun conjunct Asc in Aries) they would just get into a full-blown argument.

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if the cat recently started doing that it could be developing a uti, that sort of behavior is very common in cats with that issue

older cats, particularly males (especially if they eat dry food) are prone to them

so if it's not a matter of you moving the litter box or it not being cleaned frequently consider getting the cat to the vet and making sure it's getting extra liquids