posted February 08, 2019 01:28 PM            

The paradox is, sometime very empathic people can turn int unempathic because they can’t take how much they feel.

Other then that, all this astro shaming things going on, I sometimes feel bad sharing stuff like this just bc some people seem to take the easiest ways and go like ”oh all libras are air heads and dishonest”

We don’t need more bias in our societies and lives. And yes of course I am too bias against this or that aspect or sign, but I’m selfaware and I push it aside, or I try to

With that off my chest

I would look at the moon, and the water houses and sun and... nope now when I think about it, I would look at the whole chart lol

The things that comes to mind
In an unevolved Saturn can make someone stoic and cold. Note: Unevolved person

Mars to moon. Can make someone be selfish with emotions and empathy.

Neptune, the paradox, can make someone so empathic they cant stand it but that is rare!

yeah thise are complex things, no quick fixes and quick answers imo!

jupiter. also yes I have heard this about sagg moons and suns! or jupiter suns! I have a saturnian virgo sun aries mars-moon friend with jupiter square his sun. He don’t like it when I talk about racism and bias people and how fudged up sociaty are, he hates that kind of talk and he can’t stand victimization. Of course the whole chart should be taken into consideration blalal...

anyways he can’t stand that **** .. he is bad at being empathetic and consolation, and this is a guy with neptune aspecting his moon so..

posted February 08, 2019 01:59 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Electro DGX:
What can explain someone being emotionally dismissive and/or ignorant? Should I look to the moon?

My dad is a 7th house Sag Moon, and it seems that whenever anyone has issues that he hasn't dealt with before, he just thinks they are stupid/meaningless bs and that everybody should just suck it up and deal with it. Yet he can't handle when people do the same to him about his problems.

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posted February 08, 2019 02:02 PM            

The only water in his chart is Scorpio NN and Cancer Saturn.

I barely talk to him about my issues because he always acts like they're stupid problems I need to get over, but then when people do the same to him he complains about nobody ever listening to him. You can't tell him otherwise because he thinks he's right all the time.

posted February 08, 2019 02:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Melinn:
don't know much about moon in 7th house. Also one thing to concider is, is his birth time absolutely correct? Whining also sounds like a virgo thing. What if his moon is in his 6th?

Anyways, 7th house is also about projections. He is a whiny unevolved person, and he will project this on others and see others as whiny and victims of this or that. Just an unfortunate unevolved negative side of 7th house and the psycology of projections I think..

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According to the birth time on his birth certificate, he is a 27 degree Taurus ASC with Gemini Mars in the first house. However, I am willing to believe that he is a Gemini ASC because, everyone in my family including my mom and sister has agreed that Gemini ASC is more accurate, and he constantly talks about how he can mold words into anything that he wants and use it to manipulate people.

He has Scorpio NN in the 6th (exactly conjunct his DSC according to his birth time) and Uranus in the 6th. He also has Mercury-Venus conjunct in Virgo in the 5th house. He has Saturn in Cancer in the 3rd and it is sextile Mars (4 degrees), square Jupiter, Chiron, and Uranus (T-Square with Saturn at the apex).

posted February 08, 2019 02:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Electro DGX:
What can explain someone being emotionally dismissive and/or ignorant? Should I look to the moon?

My dad is a 7th house Sag Moon, and it seems that whenever anyone has issues that he hasn't dealt with before, he just thinks they are stupid/meaningless bs and that everybody should just suck it up and deal with it. Yet he can't handle when people do the same to him about his problems.

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That whole simplistic approach screams of the Mars in conjunction to the 1st house cusp.

Your Dad also has a grand trine in fire. Can you say "macho man act" ? Especially since we see that Chiron is in Aries.

posted February 08, 2019 04:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
That whole simplistic approach screams of the Mars in conjunction to the 1st house cusp.

Your Dad also has a grand trine in fire. Can you say "macho man act" ? Especially since we see that Chiron is in Aries.

Its conjunction to Jupiter in Aries suggests some inferiority complex tied to higher education or study i.e some overcompensation with feeling intellectually inferior or a tendency to argue and "win".

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posted February 08, 2019 05:06 PM            

He has Draco Moon in Aries
Draco Dsc in Aries

Its likely that with Sun in Leo in the 4th, he grew up with a pretty dominant father too. This when we see that Saturn widely conjuncts the Ic and Chiron squares both Saturn and the Ic. It was not a very warm home environment for him.

Uranus also squares the Ic(erratic home life) and Mars widely squares the ruler of the Ic(Sun). It was hostile and volatile too.

Most people grow up in a terrible home and say "I dont want my kids to ever go through this". Then they create a home juxtaposed to it.

Others grow upin a hostile home and say "this is life" and thus regurgitating what they have learned in their early home life. Never fully coming into conscious awareness that they can do better.That they need not be a product of their early environment.

I know your chart is around here somewhere. But it would be interesting to study the two of you side by side. As this relationship reminds me of myself and my Cancer Sun Dad.

I wonder if you have had to "parent" yourself? I dont like Pluto in the 5th house. At worst, one with this placement tends to bully their children.

And with both Mercury and Venus widely square Mars in the 5th, they likely favour boys or are the type to say "dont be a sissy" to their children thereby developing in them martial "win at all costs" personalities(even with girls)

Mars in 5th or aspect to 5th parents have volatile relations with their kids(at worst). They tend to be pushy and "in your face" with them.

posted February 09, 2019 12:27 AM            

I have the same problem when I was younger and I've been called unempathetic.

The reason I use to think like that is because thats how I deal with my own emotions. I grew up with no one being there for me to talk about emotions.
I've learnt to problem solve these emotions by looking at the bigger picture, so I am fluent in sarcasm.

Alot of times I use humour to deal with the emotional pain. By the time I got into school; the humour and jokes and the carefree attitude made me popular and made me even more big-headed about lack of emotion.

posted February 09, 2019 09:45 AM            

being able to take life as it comes, suck it up, and move on is what needs to be done at a certain point and it's not at all a negative quality to be capable of that

i can be very empathetic to a point, i've stayed up all night with strangers and listened to them talk because they were suicidal and i have no problem being there for people

but there is a point, and there are times where the only thing that can be said is "this is going to pass, you have to move on" because that's just reality

life goes on and doesn't stop for feelings, and feelings can and do pass even the bad ones

you can be in a completely ****** situation and still have good times and be in a good situation and have bad ones, that's just how life is

getting worked up over things is negative at a certain point and sometimes people need to be told not to drown in their feelings, and i find it more harmful to coddle every single negative emotion someone might have and not tell them to toughen up sometimes because it really does them no favors realistically to fall apart over **** like that

being able to separate your feelings and your self is just an important of life

i understand people need to vent and that feelings are valid, and i treat them as such, but only to a point certain things are terrible to help a person cultivate and become counter productive to them helping themselves

stoicism is completely respectable in all honesty, not low functioning, it's in touch with the reality of emotions and life

there's a point where being emotional is damaging and ridiculous, regardless of how much someone feels otherwise at the time

there's a difference though between being cold towards others and being realistic, and while people who are extremely emotional can mistake one for the other that's not always the case

there's perception too

i'm a 7th house aries moon it's conjunct my descendant and part of a kite (leo mercury, sag uranus, libra venus) it's also part of a t-square ( cap mars and venus) and if you count chiron there's a mystic rectangle in there too (along with uranus and venus)

it's absolutely ridiculous to give every emotion a lot of weight and it's equally ridiculous to not tell someone the reality of life ever which is "this will pass you can only move forward and shouldn't let all of your feelings control you"

edit: btw it's entirely possible to work on and control emotions, even extreme ones that seem impossible

posted February 09, 2019 01:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by kani:
Dumuzi I totally agree with you!!
I'm similar to you actually.
And a very simple "life goes on" or "stress is a part of life" has brought things for me into perspective. But I don't need to be coddled.
I think the issue the op had with this sag person was that he dishes out but can't take it when ppl do the same to him. That is a bit of an annoying trait to have.

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yeah i agree if you can't be told that you shouldn't say it

i'm more gentle with other people than i am with myself typically, i'll give them more room to fall apart because in my case my self control is on me whereas i'm not responsible for them ultimately and they have their own pace

but i really don't think it does anyone any favors to always live in their emotions and not be able to put things aside and look at life as a whole

i just find it interesting that people are using the word stoic as if it's a negative and the equivalent of lacking empathy or being cold

posted February 09, 2019 01:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by bluesky:
Seems to be a Fire Moon thing going here, much less a Water Moon thing, I fear!

Stoical people tend to be closed, cold and unimaginative. Bottling up emotions means they are in denial. The only reason why they give emotional people so much grief is because they have a problem expressing their own emotions. They are lying to themselves and to others the whole time, and will never be more than a cog in the system. They will never attain any level of greatness, because they are simply not unusual enough. If I had lived such lives as theirs, I would have killed myself long ago.

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i'm not at all cold, closed off, or unimaginative and i don't bottle up my emotions either

i can be a very warm person, and i'm creative i write and make music and encourage that sort of thing in others it's an extremely good outlet as far as processing things goes

i process them, accept them, and move on because they don't control me

i'm not a cog in the system, my life has been very much outside of it and i'm against the system to a large extent and would take moves to destabilize it if the right opportunities presented themselves and openly speak against it

my life has been far from what most people would call average, and i've been through a good deal of things in all that i've gone through i've found a sense of inner peace and contentment that isn't shaken by external things or things that i know will pass

havent you mentioned a past suicide attempt before? it seems like had you just succeeded that would've happened a long time ago and you wouldn't need to be another sort of person for it

i'm not judging, i once tried to hang myself, and the best thing i learned when that didn't work out was that life goes on as usual and my feelings at that given moment didn't change that reality

i used to experience anxiety, and i was aware it was useless and didn't want it to control me so i stopped letting it control me accepted that it passed and eventually stopped experiencing that

i experienced depression, i understand that it's often unproductive and i learned to appreciate life for what it is instead etc and so on

growth isn't limiting and it isn't denial

choosing to not let your feelings at any given moment control you isn't a negative thing, and it's not cold or closed off and doesn't make someone a cog in the system

what makes someone a cog is participation and not trying to shake things up

posted February 09, 2019 01:55 PM            

Ask him about his plans when he was young...if he opens up and talks you'll see a different side to him. It's not too late for him shine. :-)

------------------
You can now book readings about twin flame relationships from me, as well as natal reports:
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posted February 09, 2019 02:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Electro DGX:
The issue is more so the fact that he wants to act like everybody else's problems don't matter, YET he constantly whines about how nobody ever listens to him. He has no right to act like this if he's going to complain about people giving him a taste of his own medicine.

Ever since my mom passed he has constantly turned to me for everything that he has been feeling about her, and about everything else. You would think that maybe with me constantly sitting there and listening to him and talking him through his feelings that he would ought to do the same for some of my issues but nope. One little minor thing I need to open up about and it's like it's either stupid, meaningless dribble or I'm supposed to feel this one way about it and that's it. It is always about him, always, and anything that isn't about him doesn't matter.

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well that makes all the difference

if he expects people to be there for him but can't reciprocate that's not ok, but at the same time not everything is fair

at a certain point you just have to learn to not take his shortcomings personally though and to not expect him to be capable of giving you more than he does

if he speaks and you choose to listen and be there for him do it understanding that when you need the same you have to go elsewhere and don't expect that reciprocation to ever come about

some people are just like that, and nothing can really be done

you could be honest and call him on it, and maybe get some kind of results if you approach it the right way, but you might not

i get that it's frustrating, but honestly part of your frustration is you're looking for something that he can't give you and you're there for him wanting it back

unless i'm wrong and you're over wanting that from him and don't mind being there and accept that he cant reciprocate

posted February 09, 2019 02:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by waxlobster:
I was feeling Neptune from your original post. I see that he has Venus square Neptune and had some lofty plans to be 'seen' and 'noticed' for his creativity in youth. He's gone down the route of earning to keep a family and is deeply unhappy and a little bitter at how things have turned out.

Ask him about his plans when he was young...if he opens up and talks you'll see a different side to him. It's not too late for him shine. :-)

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posted February 09, 2019 02:31 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
well that makes all the difference

if he expects people to be there for him but can't reciprocate that's not ok, but at the same time not everything is fair

at a certain point you just have to learn to not take his shortcomings personally though and to not expect him to be capable of giving you more than he does

if he speaks and you choose to listen and be there for him do it understanding that when you need the same you have to go elsewhere and don't expect that reciprocation to ever come about

some people are just like that, and nothing can really be done

you could be honest and call him on it, and maybe get some kind of results if you approach it the right way, but you might not

i get that it's frustrating, but honestly part of your frustration is you're looking for something that he can't give you and you're there for him wanting it back

unless i'm wrong and you're over wanting that from him and don't mind being there and accept that he cant reciprocate

it just sounds like you might be at a point where you're still affected, and that's a difficult thing to get past but sometimes it helps a lot to just recognize that some people are incapable of being who you need them to be

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Yeah you're right about this. I know that he isn't capable of doing the same. Sometimes though I just try to see if maybe things do change. Well they don't with him.

posted February 09, 2019 03:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Electro DGX:
Yeah you're right about this. I know that he isn't capable of doing the same. Sometimes though I just try to see if maybe things do change. Well they don't with him.

My chart:

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i could see how the lack of communication would be really hard for you with a gemini moon that's rough

i have sun square saturn too, and i also have never been able to go to my father for anything in spite of him being in my life

over the years i learned to not take it personally, and to also not really bother or hold it against him

i see his damage, and i understand that he is who he is and can't help that even though it's not what i'd prefer

on some level part of me always pitied his inability to connect in the manner he should've as a father though, i see it as a loss for him to not really ever know his own children very deeply (even my younger brother who is closest to him feels some level of distance and my older brother and him have never gotten along) and in a lot of ways your father is losing out too

when there's no balance in a relationship, no reciprocation and an inability to achieve that something deeply authentic is lost and your father can't manage that with other people (not just you, it's not personal) and that's sad for him, but you're not like that and as a result you'll be able to form deeper more meaningful relationships based on mutual reciprocation that will be valuable in spite of not learning that from him

i get giving chances and wanting people to change, sometimes they do, but it's one thing to allow room for that (you should, you never know) and another to put your hopes into that

posted February 09, 2019 03:59 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Electro DGX:
It's not the lack of communication that bothers me. It's the hypocrisy and his control-freak tendencies. He has complained to me multiple times about me never talking to him about my issues or problems, and how he never knows how I feel because I don't say anything about it. Part of that is also what pushes me to see if things might change with him, which they don't.

I honestly don't think I would be that bothered by not talking to him. I just have no choice considering I'm still living with him (it hasn't even been a year since my mom passed) and that he is always coming to me for everything. He is just so oblivious to everybody else's feelings that he doesn't understand why people are acting the way they do.

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was he always like that or did your mother's death cause a shift in his personality?

have you ever just been blunt with him about what he does? just curious

edit: i ask because i probably wouldve just straight up said "i don't talk to you about things because nothing you say is useful and you don't seem to want to hear it other than to criticize" and just repeat something along those lines every time