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Author Topic:   Destined to have relationships that go nowhere?
Hikaru29
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posted March 07, 2019 04:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Somehow my relationships always go nowhere. It will drag on & on with no progression and I'll usually "drop out" after having invested time & feelings.

What causes this and what can I do about it?
Also, what type of men suits me based on my natal?


My natal:

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Randall
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posted March 08, 2019 01:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bump!

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astri
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posted March 08, 2019 02:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for astri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I would think Neptune in the 7th. Could it be that you drop out because they don't meet your (high) standards or expectations from what they or the relationship should be in your imagination?

Here's more about how to interpret neptune in the 7th:
https://theastrocodex.com/natal-neptune-in-the-7th-house/

It says that Neptune will create disillusionment and annoyances with everything that rules this house. Neptune is also the planet that dissolves, so not very conducive to keep a relationship..

For the type of men that suits you, I would think of someone with taurus and sagittarius energy since you attract Sag anyways which is on your DC and your north node falls in the same sign and Juno is in Taurus. The signs where Sun, jupiter and Mars fall in can also count.


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ChildofVenus
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posted March 08, 2019 05:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So people with Neptune in the 7th house aren’t relationship material? They usually aren’t in committed relationships? Guess I better quit wasting my time then.

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Kannon McAfee
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posted March 08, 2019 05:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kannon McAfee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Hikaru29:
Somehow my relationships always go nowhere. It will drag on & on with no progression and I'll usually "drop out" after having invested time & feelings.

What causes this and what can I do about it?


Romantic idealism and receptivity being stronger than awareness of your own needs and personal ideals. (Moon conjunct/parallel Neptune in Sagittarius).

quote:

Also, what type of men suits me based on my natal?

Saturnine men (Sun's first applying aspect is a sextile to Saturn).

Thoughtful, sensible men (Mars's first applying aspect is a sextile to Mercury).

Someone with either a fixed or cardinal signature in the birth chart.

The mutable signature emphasized over the Asc/DC axis + Moon conjunct/parallel Neptune in Sagittarius means you have a high degree of sensitivity and responsiveness to others, but with these opposed to Venus in Gemini the attractions are often based on surface level things. That is better channeled into your work life, relations with people generally, charity work and/or creative life.

In fact, Mars is the stem in a t-square to Venus opposite Moon-Neptune. This indicates over-eagerness. You're tendency is to be over-interested in the things of romance and emotions stimulated by all that. I think you'd get better results if you just ignore men and see who expresses abiding interest in you and who genuinely respects you. That does take patience. Then step-by-step you can match up with someone whose ideals in life match yours. You'll have to know yours first, and know how that guiding ideal differs from idealisms.

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Hikaru29
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posted March 08, 2019 11:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by astri:

For the type of men that suits you, I would think of someone with taurus and sagittarius energy since you attract Sag anyways which is on your DC and your north node falls in the same sign and Juno is in Taurus. The signs where Sun, jupiter and Mars fall in can also count.


Strange, I've never been romantically attracted to Sag/Taurus men. I attract men with Cancer/Virgo/Libra/Leo placements instead. The last 2 guys of mine have very similar placements.

As for Neptune in 7th, I can relate to being overly idealistic and easily disappointed but not on attracting partners with substance abuse. I avoid these people. People with heavy Neptune aspects, yes, as I'm heavy Neptune as well.

What do you mean Neptune in 7th shouldn't keep relationships? So we should just stay single???

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Hikaru29
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posted March 08, 2019 11:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.......

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ChildofVenus
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posted March 08, 2019 11:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Based on what other people have said about the placement. It sounds like these people will never be happy in a relationship. So why bother to be in one when you won’t be satisfied and will just end up leaving. But I would think that synastry would also be a factor. What if their Neptune falls into one of the other persons relationship houses?

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TrueScorpio
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posted March 09, 2019 12:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for TrueScorpio     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I may be wrong on this, but my understanding is that Neptune in the 7th house can deal with projection onto their partner. I have Neptune in my 1st house and I think I am more than capable of doing this. Maybe I'm projecting here.

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Hikaru29
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posted March 09, 2019 12:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
Based on what other people have said about the placement. It sounds like these people will never be happy in a relationship. So why bother to be in one when you won’t be satisfied and will just end up leaving. But I would think that synastry would also be a factor. What if their Neptune falls into one of the other persons relationship houses?

This can also be said of people with a violent temper...people who are overly emotional...and people who have depressive tendencies...People with the tendency to cheat. They will cause misery to others. Better stay single.

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Hikaru29
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posted March 09, 2019 12:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Kannon,
I'm confused. People say I'm too passive and cool and guys always can't tell if I'm interested or not. Over the years, friends have been telling me to be more proactive.

But you see my chart showing over-eagerness?

When I'm in a relationship I'm affectionate but not sticky. I tend to be either too demanding or too easy-going though.

Edit: Just checked the charts of my exs. They both have Cardinal/Fixed.

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ChildofVenus
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posted March 09, 2019 07:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Hikaru29:
This can also be said of people with a violent temper...people who are overly emotional...and people who have depressive tendencies...People with the tendency to cheat. They will cause misery to others. Better stay single.

Obviously but what’s your point? It must be some truth to what I’m saying as you didn’t disagree. You can’t see why that’s a problem? Being so idealistic that it leads to disappointment? Perhaps it’s best to actually get to know the real person you never know how great they might actually be. Because nobody is perfect we all have flaws.

I mean someone may actually really like you. But because they don’t fit your idealistic image you would just drop them. But synastry should also be a factor or perhaps not.

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astri
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posted March 09, 2019 08:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for astri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Hikaru29:
Strange, I've never been romantically attracted to Sag/Taurus men. I attract men with Cancer/Virgo/Libra/Leo placements instead. The last 2 guys of mine have very similar placements.

Ok but so far these men haven't been a good match for you apparently..and as Kannon said a fixed sign would be good for you like Taurus for ex, which is where your Juno falls, because Taurus gives stability ,commitment and grounding energy whereas your neptune in the 7th seem to make you give off confusing / mixed signals towards your partners.

You say you tend to be either too demanding or too easy-going..Neptune here can make you either influence the other easily (even by becoming the other person) or be easily influenced yourself, so it basically depends on the other person's character or what they expect from/project onto you, how you will flow. And I think that's not really a good idea in order to receive longlasting love. It's just something you need to work on.

quote:
What do you mean Neptune in 7th shouldn't keep relationships? So we should just stay single???

I didn't say that, just that dissolution is another characteristic of Neptune and could have this effect on relationships when placed in the 7th.

I'd recommend to subscribe to dating coaches channels on youtube, they have good dating advice on how to start and keep relationships whatever your chart may be lol.

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ChildofVenus
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posted March 09, 2019 08:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
But why wouldn’t synastry be a factor in this? As to how things would happen with a particular person? For example I know I have commitment issues. Obviously due to my own natal chart. But what if I were to meet someone who actually fit me and what I like. Would I still have trouble committing to that person?

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Hikaru29
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posted March 09, 2019 10:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@astri,
I've not been attracted to the Taurus I met. I can't help that, can I? And I don't agree just because my Juno says Taurus so I've to choose a Taurus. That's so "cookbook". My Dsc in Sag but my worst relationship was with a Sag. It's more about the "energy".

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Hikaru29
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posted March 09, 2019 10:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
Obviously but what’s your point? It must be some truth to what I’m saying as you didn’t disagree. You can’t see why that’s a problem? Being so idealistic that it leads to disappointment? Perhaps it’s best to actually get to know the real person you never know how great they might actually be. Because nobody is perfect we all have flaws.

I mean someone may actually really like you. But because they don’t fit your idealistic image you would just drop them. But synastry should also be a factor or perhaps not.


My point is you said Neptune in 7h people should stay single.. then what about others with other types of character issues? All stay single??

Yes, I do have certain types that I like but I don't walk around with a list, hello. It's all about the chemistry and how well we communicate. I do have Gemini rising. I believe we all have our types and we all project our ideals to a certain extent. Neptune in 7th conjunct Moon makes me extremely sensitive to my partner, thus the disappintment. But I can also be very forgiving so I allow people to keep hurting me.

When I say I'm demanding I don't mean I expect him to do all sorts of things for me. It's more emotional as I said, I'm sensitive. They may say something and I start to think negatively. Not all my projections are good. Many are actually negative thoughts.

I believe I need someone emotionally stable and grounded but I don't think it necessarily means he must be a Taurus. More like he must project that stable Taurean energy.

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ChildofVenus
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posted March 09, 2019 10:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Hikaru29:
My point is you said Neptune in 7h people should stay single.. then what about others with other types of character issues? All stay single??

Yes, I do have certain types that I like but I don't walk around with a list, hello. It's all about the chemistry and how well we communicate. I do have Gemini rising. I believe we all have our types and we all project our ideals to a certain extent. Neptune in 7th conjunct Moon makes me extremely sensitive to my partner, thus the disappintment. But I can also be very forgiving so I allow people to keep hurting me.

When I say I'm demanding I don't mean I expect him to do all sorts of things for me. It's more emotional as I said, I'm sensitive. They may say something and I start to think negatively. Not all my projections are good. Many are actually negative thoughts.

I believe I need someone emotionally stable and grounded but I don't think it necessarily means he must be a Taurus. More like he must project that stable Taurean energy.



How do you feel when your Neptune aspects someone’s personal planets?

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Hikaru29
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posted March 09, 2019 11:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^ I can't say for sure because most people in my gen will have their Neptune conjunct my Moon and opposing my Venus. With both my exs we have Moon/Venus-Neptune double whammy.

One similar issue I can think of is they thought I don't care about them and I thought they don't care about me.

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Aries23Degrees
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posted March 09, 2019 12:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Hikaru29:
Somehow my relationships always go nowhere. It will drag on & on with no progression and I'll usually "drop out" after having invested time & feelings.

What causes this and what can I do about it?
Also, what type of men suits me based on my natal?


Your chart comes across very "open ended".And this suggests to me a person who seldom knows what they want. And thus attracts mixed results.

Check this out;

Moon (inner self) conjunct "open ended Neptune"

Sun in "open-ended" 12th house.

Venus(in house 1) opposite "open ended" Neptune.

Ruler of 1st(Mercury) in "open-ended" 12th house.

Venus (ruler of personality 5th) opposite "open ended" Neptune

Pluto in personality 5th opposite "open ended" Jupiter

Sun-Ura opposite in 5th is "non conformist" personality expression

By being "open-ended" and "non-conformist", you may be the type that says;

Take it as it comes
We will play it by ear
No rules or regulations
Lets do this differently
Leave the door open
Open yourself up.
Go with how we feel.
Express creativity
Try something new
Don't attach
Non committal
"Its fine. You don't have to call back"
I am easy going
I am not sure. But it doesn't matter
Chill out
Let go and let god etc.

So now when we look at the "love" houses, we find the above themes reiterated.

Note that Uranus/Neptune,11th/12th is where we are "open ended".

The 7th(partnerships)

Venus(solar 7th house ruler) is opposite Neptune
Neptune is in the 7th
Moon conjunct Neptune in the 7th
Ruler of 7th(Jupiter) in 11th[ solar Uranus ruled]

The 5th(romance and dating)

Sun(solar 5th house ruler) is opposite Uranus
Uranus is in the 5th

You may be drawn to people who are "open ended" or seem to have an unclear and less definitive way of handling relationships and how they are supposed to "progress".

And so people see this "open-ended" non-committal face you give and are thus drawn to it. So the partners that come are predominantly those people that know you will not demand much from them.

My guess is that the Sag that was drawn to you was thus drawn because they thought you the "easy-going" type who will not be too demanding of them emotionally(Sag loves that)

The Pluto in 5th will take time to kick in.But you may grow progressively more in need of something with depth.And my guess is that is why you wrote this thread?

That Saturn in 2nd makes emotional restraint a natural default point in mantaining self-esteem. You are very hard on yourself.

The Pluto square to Saturn in 2nd suggests that as much as you crave intimacy(Pluto in 5th) , you also fear that it will mess with sense of "safety"(Saturn in 2nd).

This may spill over to sexual intimacy too(Cap is on the cusp of the 8th and Saturn opposes Part of Fortune in Capricorn). Its not easy to open yourself up here.

And so its easier for you to keep dating people that will not "unnerve" you with too many emotional demands. Its easy for you to remain noncommittal as that is your default point.

The South node in 12th suggests that past path and was more inclined towards being "unpressured" and "doing what thoust will" etc. It feels easy for you to fall back on this.

However,this life is calling you towards a more active involvement , structure, precision and clarity with an almost obsessive commitment(Scorpio 6th)

Juno(12th) opposes North node. And this suggests that marriage/commitment may be connected to being of use or sacrificed in lieu of purpose/commitment(6th) i.e Marriage must give you a sense of purpose.

The most compatible partner for you would be one that inspires purpose and passion in you. Someone who will enable engagement with life instead of too much detachment.

There is emotional attachment or expression(Ic) that is being avoided: Ic squares the True Node. Something to consider also is that your continued alofness(Saturn) is hurting you(square Chiron)....literally(Chiron in ego sign Aries)

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Plut0nian2
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posted March 09, 2019 05:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Plut0nian2     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
But why wouldn’t synastry be a factor in this? As to how things would happen with a particular person? For example I know I have commitment issues. Obviously due to my own natal chart. But what if I were to meet someone who actually fit me and what I like. Would I still have trouble committing to that person?

Having Neptune and Uranus conjunct Cap DSC plus North Node in 7th H and having really good synastries (I'm falling pretty much for the same "natal charts"), especially when comparing them to other synastries of longterm couples I know, I can tell that they can not change the natal's chart promise.

So if the chart doesn't promise a relationship or whatever else then it doesn't matter how good a synastry is or how many transits/progressions are in the relationship houses.

The outer planets have great powrr and I feel like we can not really control it because no matter what you do it will lead where it wants to.
Some say that you can channel that energy but I don't really see that working either.

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ChildofVenus
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posted March 09, 2019 05:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Plut0nian2:
Having Neptune and Uranus conjunct Cap DSC plus North Node in 7th H and having really good synastries (I'm falling pretty much for the same "natal charts"), especially when comparing them to other synastries of longterm couples I know, I can tell that they can not change the natal's chart promise.

So if the chart doesn't promise a relationship or whatever else then it doesn't matter how good a synastry is or how many transits/progressions are in the relationship houses.

The outer planets have great powrr and I feel like we can not really control it because no matter what you do it will lead where it wants to.
Some say that you can channel that energy but I don't really see that working either.


So someone with Neptune in the 7th house isn't capable of being in a relationship? I've been told that with my natal chart It shows that I'm not really marriage material. Aquarius DSC and Uranus trine ASC so I guess I'll just have flings and not committed relationships. I have Neptune in the 5th house so I guess that means I'd have issues in regards to romance as well.

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Plut0nian2
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posted March 09, 2019 07:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Plut0nian2     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
So someone with Neptune in the 7th house isn't capable of being in a relationship? I've been told that with my natal chart It shows that I'm not really marriage material. Aquarius DSC and Uranus trine ASC so I guess I'll just have flings and not committed relationships. I have Neptune in the 5th house so I guess that means I'd have issues in regards to romance as well.

Uranus trine ASC isn't bad, don't worry about it.
Neptune in 5th H isn't as bad as Neptune in 7th H.
At least you'll wake up after the first flirt phase before you go to the 7th H phase.

Aqua DSC is not as bad by itself as Uranus in 7th H either. It's not enough to ruin relationships by itself either. It's there but it's more subtle.

Do you have Moon/Venus in Aqua/Aries/Sag/Gemini?
or Sun/Moon/Venus in hard aspect to Uranus/Neptune?

EDIT: Someone with Neptune in 7th H is of course capable of being in a relationship but I don't know how much it will last and how healthy it will be.
My aunt has Neptune in her 7th H.
She has all her personal planets in earth signs mainly Virgo. She has always been in relationships but the men she chooses suck.. Drug addicts/dealers who take advantage of her. No other Neptunian energy in her chart.

So 7th H Neptune if the rest of the chart helps doesn't mean no relationships but it will still bring Neptunian problems in relationships.

If however Neptune is in 7th H with Uranus or North Node in the 7th H then chances are relationships will be a rare thing or may not be a thing at all.

Venus in hard aspect to Uranus doesn't bring such "catastrophic" results as Uranus in 7th H. Same goes for all of the planeys in hatd aspects to Venus. I mean they do bring same nature difficulties but they aren't denying relationships just by themselves as they do when they are in the 7th H.

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ChildofVenus
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posted March 09, 2019 07:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Plut0nian2:
Uranus trine ASC isn't bad, don't worry about it.
Neptune in 5th H isn't as bad as Neptune in 7th H.
At least you'll wake up after the first flirt phase before you go to the 7th H phase.

Aqua DSC is not as bad by itself as Uranus in 7th H either. It's not enough to ruin relationships by itself either. It's there but it's more subtle.

Do you have Moon/Venus in Aqua/Aries/Sag/Gemini?
or Sun/Moon/Venus in hard aspect to Uranus/Neptune?


I have Sun trine Uranus and Neptune also I have a tight Venus square Uranus aspect it’s at 2 degrees and also Moon in Aquarius. Uranus does aspect my Moon but it’s a Semi-square. Jupiter is the ruler of my 5th house. And it squares my 5th house ruler Neptune Uranus is the ruler of my 7th house.

Venus square Uranus is problematic I get bored easily in relationships. And I flirt a lot I don’t know what causes me to be so flirty sometimes.

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ChildofVenus
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posted March 09, 2019 08:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Something in my chart is keeping me from wanting to settle down. And when I say settle down I mean no friends with benefits, no hookups no flings etc. No flirting with other men while in a long term relationship.

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Hikaru29
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posted March 09, 2019 11:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@Aries,
Thanks for the insights. I wouldn't say I'm non-commital. I've always only go for serious relationships but I usually like to start off without much pressure and play by ear, like you said, but it doesn't mean all I want is a fling. Still, I'm not the type who will ask my bf "so when are we getting married?" Type of qn so ya, I don't pressure them in this way.

Some people misunderstood my vibe but they will usually know they're wrong at the early stage before anything could even happen between us. My Pluto in 5th kicks in quite early on actually. The last guy I dated (and all my exs) know I'm the serious relationship type of gal right from the start (they have all told me that). As for the other flings, seriously they don't affect me. No emotional involvement on my part and we didn't sleep tog. I'm serious in the area of sex like you said.

The reason I started this thread is not because these guys were not serious with me. It's that somehow we just didn't end in marriage due to various reasons. I was with my ex for 7yrs. Does that sound like a fling? Haha.. marriage still didn't happen because I guess we met at the wrong time. When we reconnected again I no longer feel anything for him.


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