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Author Topic:   Adults who still live in their parents' home
mercmercy99
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posted May 04, 2019 03:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mercmercy99     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Which aspects and placements could indicate someone who still lives at home in their 20s and 30s and older when they can very easily move out? What can indicate this type of depressive state, entitlement, and lack of drive?

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Aries23Degrees
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posted May 04, 2019 04:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I live at home.Got out but fell on hard times which forced a retreat.

Moon in 4th comes home when the going gets too tough.This especially in Cancer/Taurus.

My friend moved back home.Also hard times.His Moon in Pisces.

I dont think its "lack of drive".Coz I know people who go back home due to extraneous circumstances. But there are those who get "comfortable" and never want to leave

For those,I would say Moon in Taurus.

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Aries23Degrees
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posted May 04, 2019 04:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
There is a Cancer who still lives with Mom and Dad at the age of 46.But he is Indian and to them.That is how they prefer to live.

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LaceyLeigh
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posted May 04, 2019 04:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LaceyLeigh     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Student loans.

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MMarie
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posted May 04, 2019 04:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MMarie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LaceyLeigh:
Student loans.

🤣

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Melinn
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posted May 04, 2019 05:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Melinn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Jeez what a judgy tone you got there 😓

Student loans. Being without a job. Or living in a country and city where its nearly impossible to find an apartment. Living in a country where they have a system and market where its impossible to find an apartment for rent, you have to ”buy” the apartment in order to get one. Or you find a rent but its much pricier to rent it then to buy it.

In some cases it can be due to cultural factors, in west culture the norm is to move out when one is 18. In other cultures the norm may be to move out when married, then the parents helps to set up the newly weds home etc...

Also astrology would not show all thise factors I mention in ones chart, I mean how could they? or em I wrong?!

Anyway I hope you understand the world is not revolving around the socio-economical and cultural norms you are used to

Edit: Or maybe you ment people who have it great economically or who have job opportunities and won’t wanna work and choses to stay at home?

Then I have misunderstood you, and also its an other type of question I believe, like why would someone not wanna work and stand on their own feet..

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meissieri
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posted May 04, 2019 05:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for meissieri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Like mentioned above, it doesn't have to be because someone is just enjoying being taken care of and all.

I moved out when I was 24. Though I had been looking actively for a while. I was still going to school back then, so I'm actually glad, looking back, that it took me a long time before I moved. I don't think I would've been able to handle a tough education and trying to have enough money to pay all the rent/gas/water/etc. Around the "normal" age that many people move out, like 18-20ish, I just wasn't ready yet. I wouldn't have made it.

Astro-wise, I would say the moon. Maybe a lot of emphasis on Venus and Jupiter as well, emphasis on the 4th house. I have Saturn conjunct my IC, and I did move out fairly late in comparison to everyone who does it as soon as they've finished high school. Maybe that keeps people at home as well? But then I would think more due to limitations, which is a Saturn thing.

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teasel
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posted May 04, 2019 05:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by mercmercy99:
Which aspects and placements could indicate someone who still lives at home in their 20s and 30s and older when they can very easily move out? What can indicate this type of depressive state, entitlement, and lack of drive?

I could write a lot, but I won't. Entitlement is not a part of why I'm here, and that immediate assumption has put me off wanting to look at my chart for "why" or trying to explain anything.

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Lalafortunaea
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posted May 04, 2019 06:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lalafortunaea     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well I don't think the OP meant to offend anyone.

I lived at home for awhile, and I know my reasons.

But I also do know yes there are people who can easily move out but don't, due to leeching or co-dependence and such. Nothing to get bothered about if it's not the case for everyone.

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Melinn
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posted May 04, 2019 06:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Melinn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I did not get offended . I may have read it as judgy tone but now I think I may have read it too hastily so sorry for that OP

Yes I to know of co-dependent people. Those I know of has simply been spoiled and so they trust their parents too much. Spoiled brats in short, taking advantage of their parents. In those cases I do blame the parents the most lol but its an character issue as well. I believe we all are lazy in thise matters in our core if we have the opportunity

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Somna7H
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posted May 04, 2019 08:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Somna7H     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Never left home.
Couples of years to hit 40.
I think it's lack of Money.
I'm so poor that I can't rent a home for myself and forget about building my own house.

------------------
My Chart :
http://imgur.com/hCRDawD

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mercmercy99
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posted May 04, 2019 08:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mercmercy99     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I want to emphasize the "very easily" part of my post. I don't mean those of you who are falling on hard times and have no choice due to financial reasons or to take care of your parents.

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mercmercy99
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posted May 04, 2019 08:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mercmercy99     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Melinn:
I did not get offended . I may have read it as judgy tone but now I think I may have read it too hastily so sorry for that OP

Yes I to know of co-dependent people. Those I know of has simply been spoiled and so they trust their parents too much. Spoiled brats in short, taking advantage of their parents. In those cases I do blame the parents the most lol but its an character issue as well. I believe we all are lazy in thise matters in our core if we have the opportunity


It's okay. I suck at expressing what I want to say in the best possible way lol.

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mercmercy99
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posted May 04, 2019 08:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mercmercy99     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Basically, what in a chart can indicate entitlement, lack of drive, co-dependency, etc. that results in someone not supporting themselves so that they still live at home? That also may not be the best way to express this, but it's better I think.

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Leo-Cancer98
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posted May 04, 2019 08:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Leo-Cancer98     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LaceyLeigh:
Student loans.

Amen sis, a-men.

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Leo-Cancer98
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posted May 04, 2019 09:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Leo-Cancer98     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by mercmercy99:
Basically, what in a chart can indicate entitlement, lack of drive, co-dependency, etc. that results in someone not supporting themselves so that they still live at home? That also may not be the best way to express this, but it's better I think.

Lack of drive is usually associate with the Mars Sign, its house placement and/or planetary aspects.
I know an Aries Rising, Sun, Moon and Mercury girl with Mars in Pisces who has been passive aggressive and lazy her entire life.

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SoulOfABird
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posted May 05, 2019 01:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SoulOfABird     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My Mom. She’s 41 years old and still living with her parents. I will post her chart when I get the chance. I feel bad for my grandparents.
I guess you can say the same for me too as Im 22 years old still living with my parents. But there are a few resons Im not on my own. Not trying to make an excuse for myself, but things can get a bit sticky.
For one, it’s my mental health.
And for two, Im trying my best to go off on my own. I actually have dreams that I want to fulfill. However my dreams are very conflicting with myself and my family.
My grandma, she’s basically my mom in every way. I call her my mom. She’s always took care of me and been there for me. However she doesn’t seem to want me to leave her side. I have been trying to assert my independence but it’s hard. My mom doesn’t want me to even drive far alone. And I am not a very assertive person or capable of doing things on my own to easily.
But I try but my mom always keep me at a certain distance close to her. She okay with me doing things when it fits what SHE wants for me.
Ive tried to tell her my dreams and aspirations. (Which include me wanting to move abroad in my country of interest) but she throws a fit. It’s sooo frustrating. I keep trying to humor her to avoid conflict. I cant keep doing this. It’s frustrating. If I could go to that country tomorrow Id go in a heartbeat! But I know I have a bit of maturing to do but I also won’t have any support from my family.

I cant tell you how frustrating it is when you have a dream you really want to make a reality, but no ones supports you and your personality is incapable of doing it on your own. It sucks. I want to cry sometimes, well I do a lot because it frustrates me how my mom doesn’t want those dreams for me. But then I also don’t want to leave her behind because I want to take care of her and dont want her to think Im abandoning her. But at the same time she says Im selfish for wanting to go to another country when I feel like she is being selfish not wanting me to be happy and understanding my aspirations.
So at this time of my life Im not very capable of being on my own. My mental health doesn’t really allow for it at this time either. But I don’t plan on being this way for long. Lets hope. For some reason life has the tendency to crush my wishful thinking and white picker fences and be like “sorry bish but life really isn’t marshmallows and candy canes.” Oh well...
I don’t want to be a living under their roof for long rent free. I don’t like it. I dont like taking advantage of people. But Im trying to give back in ways I can. Like helping my parents as much as I can. I owe them so much. Im so grateful for all their help I really am. I wish I could do more.

------------------
I appreciate the masterpiece that is you, because your existence alone is art

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teasel
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posted May 05, 2019 01:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Melinn:
I did not get offended . I may have read it as judgy tone but now I think I may have read it too hastily so sorry for that OP

Yes I to know of co-dependent people. Those I know of has simply been spoiled and so they trust their parents too much. Spoiled brats in short, taking advantage of their parents. In those cases I do blame the parents the most lol but its an character issue as well. I believe we all are lazy in thise matters in our core if we have the opportunity


Some of us have health issues, no money, and were sabotaged.

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DualGemV2
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posted May 05, 2019 02:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for DualGemV2     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I just keep my parents address as my mailing address.

I stay with my parents no more then 2 days a week. The rest of the week..I'm "living" out of my hotel room at my second job.

Basically my virgo boss can't find anyone she can trust to work the overnight shift at a lodge I used to work at while I was going through school before I moved back home.

So she basically gave me my own room as long as I keep working for her..its not a hard job.

I'm actually on the job right now, lol. I get everything done in 1hr and I have everything done.

I'd be fully out of the home if it wasn't for the way my cancer parents operate.

Its always an "exchange" or business transaction with them. If I need something from them I always have to trade or give something up.

or they think there being helpful but they sabotaging me in other ways.

For example I finished college before going to university, college is considered community college or trade school here in Canada.

After I finished college I was hired as a temp in the gov, both the department I worked for and my parents wanted me to be permanent.

For me it was a temp job before I upgraded to the university level. To my parent make a career out of it and make money.

But I could tell cuts would be on the horizon so I turned it down.

As a consequence I had to give up certain things to my parents as a punishment for not taking the job permanently.

A year later the people I worked with either got reassigned, retired or were out of work.

Thats just one example...

So I've had to give up certain things which has delayed me, a year from now I should be 100% independent and I won't require them.

I'm about 70% non-reliant on them right now. My Finances are in good order and I can balance two jobs, this job and another job.

My dilemma is my cancer parents don't want me to be 100% independent and will pout if I don't contact them.

But at the same time I don't want to rely on them as there completely negligent.

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Melinn
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posted May 05, 2019 03:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Melinn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by teasel:
Some of us have health issues, no money, and were sabotaged.

Yes of course, I’m just talking about those I know in my life. I’m not disregarding other cases

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Nadja
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posted May 05, 2019 07:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Nadja     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, in a way I qualify, but in other ways not really.

I share a house with my father. I don't have a permanent job position yet and I work part time at the moment, but I do have enough savings, as well as other poperty that I could sell, that I could buy my own small apartment if I wanted to. I don't want to live alone though, and since I'm asexual and aromantic I'm not going to ever find a partner and start a family. I also want to live in the countryside, preferably in my home village. My dad has a big house in the countryside where I grew up, where he would otherwise live alone. And he doesn't like living alone either.

So for us it's a case of common sense, mutual gain and a sharing of work and expenses. It may have started out as me living at home because it was easy and cheap when I didn't yet have the option to move out. But it has turned into a good thing for both of us. Why would I move out? I'm pretty sure that from viewed from the outside I'm that 30 year old woman that mooches off her divorced father... but that's just not true.

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My chart: https://i.pinimg.com/564x/f8/94/9b/f8949ba84e82b9596b77bd5098a17021.jpg

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Astra
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posted May 05, 2019 07:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Astra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by SoulOfABird:
My Mom. She’s 41 years old and still living with her parents. I will post her chart when I get the chance. I feel bad for my grandparents.
I guess you can say the same for me too as Im 22 years old still living with my parents. But there are a few resons Im not on my own. Not trying to make an excuse for myself, but things can get a bit sticky.
For one, it’s my mental health.
And for two, Im trying my best to go off on my own. I actually have dreams that I want to fulfill. However my dreams are very conflicting with myself and my family.
My grandma, she’s basically my mom in every way. I call her my mom. She’s always took care of me and been there for me. However she doesn’t seem to want me to leave her side. I have been trying to assert my independence but it’s hard. My mom doesn’t want me to even drive far alone. And I am not a very assertive person or capable of doing things on my own to easily.
But I try but my mom always keep me at a certain distance close to her. She okay with me doing things when it fits what SHE wants for me.
Ive tried to tell her my dreams and aspirations. (Which include me wanting to move abroad in my country of interest) but she throws a fit. It’s sooo frustrating. I keep trying to humor her to avoid conflict. I cant keep doing this. It’s frustrating. If I could go to that country tomorrow Id go in a heartbeat! But I know I have a bit of maturing to do but I also won’t have any support from my family.

I cant tell you how frustrating it is when you have a dream you really want to make a reality, but no ones supports you and your personality is incapable of doing it on your own. It sucks. I want to cry sometimes, well I do a lot because it frustrates me how my mom doesn’t want those dreams for me. But then I also don’t want to leave her behind because I want to take care of her and dont want her to think Im abandoning her. But at the same time she says Im selfish for wanting to go to another country when I feel like she is being selfish not wanting me to be happy and understanding my aspirations.
So at this time of my life Im not very capable of being on my own. My mental health doesn’t really allow for it at this time either. But I don’t plan on being this way for long. Lets hope. For some reason life has the tendency to crush my wishful thinking and white picker fences and be like “sorry bish but life really isn’t marshmallows and candy canes.” Oh well...
I don’t want to be a living under their roof for long rent free. I don’t like it. I dont like taking advantage of people. But Im trying to give back in ways I can. Like helping my parents as much as I can. I owe them so much. Im so grateful for all their help I really am. I wish I could do more.


::hugs:: Dreaming to move abroad is fine, but if you want it to become a reality, you have to become completely independent first in your native country. Even if you had the full support of your family, you would struggle immensely in another country in your current state of mind. Adjusting to a new country is very difficult and stressful even if you already speak the language.

Right now, you need to stand up for yourself and start taking strides towards independence while you still have your family to catch you if you fall. The moment that your mom or grandma try to hinder your independence, just tell them this," I love you so much and I'm very grateful for everything, but I need to start learning to do things on my own. Someday you won't be around and who will help me then? I have to learn to take care of myself. Right now you are still here and I can ask you for guidance as I learn more about being an adult. Later on, I will have nobody to ask for help. Do you really want me to be clueless about life when I no longer have any family around?"

Each day take some baby steps towards being independent. Drive to a nearby grocery store by yourself to pick up a few things that your family needs. The next time drive to a grocery store that is a bit further away.

I'd say you really should spend a good 5 years building up your independence before you move to another country. While you are learning to be an adult, you need to learn more about this foreign country. What jobs are in demand over there? Find out what those jobs are and start developing those skills or obtaining the necessary education. Learn to speak the language. Good luck! Remember, you can do anything you set your mind to! You are a strong and capable person. Don't forget that.

Sorry I got off topic. Back to the OP....

Basically, adults live at home for five reasons:

1) They live in a city with a high cost of living and don't make enough money to live on their own
2) They are drowning in debt (student loans, medical bills, etc)
3) They are taking care of ailing parents or other family members, which can be a full time job
4) They are disabled (mentally and/or physically)
5) They are simply lazy and want to be a kid forever.

Some people fall into just one of these categories while others fall into multiple categories. Regardless of the reason they are living at home, it is absolutely critical that these adults work on developing the skills to live independently. Why? Your parents won't live forever and strangers don't love you nearly as much as they do. At some point, you must stand on your own two feet. Many of these young adults don't think about who will they turn to when mom and dad are gone? They better develop a plan B.

Astrologically speaking, I see living at home to be more common among people who are predominantly Cancer and Libra.

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meissieri
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posted May 05, 2019 09:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for meissieri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Fair enough, OP! :yes: I admit I almost read over the last part of your post where you do mention it's about staying at home out of ease/wanting to remain a child (like poster above said).

Can't speak for others, but for myself, I was ashamed of it for a long time that it took me so long to be able to leave home. I would catch myself being really defensive, like, if someone asked me, I would answer but immediately add a "but I'm looking!!!".There is such a stigma against it. But many here have already mentioned it isn't always this easy.

I was thinking that maybe someone with a very easy chart could want to stay at home just because it's nice and easy? Like lots of trines/sextiles and relatively few hard aspects (not counting conjunctions, which can be hard). Someone who isn't used to a lot of challenge in life that makes you want to take action.

With the 'eternal kid' comment... afflictions to the 5th house?

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etherealsaturn
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posted May 05, 2019 11:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for etherealsaturn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I moved out when I was 19, I was working 30+ hrs and was going to school full time. I was able to handle the responsibilities. I have lots of capricorn within me lol. Moon in Sag, Chiron in 4th.

My brother lived at home until he got married, so like 24 or 25?

My sister still lives at home and she's 30, she has a learning disability. Also, she's very dependent on my mother and vice versa. She has Pluto and Venus in the 4th house. Moon in the 8th.

My other sister still lives at home, she's 24. She didn't finish high school and can't hold a job. She has a lot of Scorpio placements, and Saturn in the 1st or 3rd house depending on what house system your using. Moon in the 4th or 6th.

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Stawr
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posted May 05, 2019 12:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stawr     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I moved out at 19. Moved back in at 20. Moved back out at 26.

In my early 20’s I was going through the Uranus square Jupiter transit. I have Jupiter in my 2 house.
I had to get the immaturity out of my system before my Saturn return. I was one of those people who “wanted a break” after high school.

I think I went 6 months without working or going to school.

But for most of it I was working part time and eventually being a full time student. After moving in with a boyfriend I barely knew for two months, I realized that moving in with someone that’s not your parents is over rated.

I decided if I moved out with someone it has to be family or a SO, and we must date longer before living together.

Being responsible can suck. Handling a social life can be too much with responsibilities. You have to sometimes decide what is more of a priority.

Everything worked it self out for me.

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