posted May 15, 2019 09:10 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by saadsarah8:
Amen to everything you said, especially that last paragraph. Hopefully I'll continue to work on myself and will become a better partner in the future.

♡♡♡♡

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i think you will, one of the most important parts of dealing with an issue like bpd is exactly what you're doing (acknowledging, learning, practicing awareness) and that's something a lot of people don't like to do because it's hard but they end up suffering for it ultimately

the fact that you're reflecting and trying really says a lot so does you seeking help outside of yourself

you can definitely use what you've learned from this experience with him in the future to do better with someone who's better for you it sounds like this just needed to happen to shed some light on things

based on the way you're talking i think things will be better for you in the long run than they feel right now, and his feelings are ultimately irrelevant

i know things can go bad for people and they want to know how the other person feels because it can make things feel more relevant or valid or give it more worth somehow but i think it matters more that you can come away from this with the knowledge of "i did this and i don't want to keep repeating that" and finding ways to work with your extreme emotions rather than letting them swallow you whole is really good

i have a friend with bpd and sometimes when he gets into one of those really dark places with it i've noticed just telling him "you feel like that because of your issues just give it a few and chill it'll be ok" can actually do a lot for him sometimes, because when he acknowledges it and dials back the reactionary aspects of it he still feels the same but him handling it different minimizes the effects on his life which is ultimately more important longterm