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Author Topic:   Calling moon/pluto people!
saadsarah8
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posted May 11, 2019 04:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for saadsarah8     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
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Electro DGX
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posted May 12, 2019 02:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Electro DGX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have Moon in the 8th opposite Pluto exact. I guess you could call that a double whammy lol.

I honestly can't say if he does miss you or not. However, if I was in his position I probably would have some very complex feelings about the relationship. There have been times where I have completely cut off people from my life in heated emotional moments, but before I would do it as a defense mechanism to avoid being hurt by it. Other times it was because I had felt that said people had gone too far and broke boundaries that I wasn't okay with. I don't care who you are; if you break my trust I will never see you the same.

We would have to know more about his chart to get a better idea of how he would be, but it's hard to imagine someone with a Plutonian moon being able to completely wipe out a major emotional event. At least for me, I sometimes feel like I can forget but I will be surprised at some of the things that I will randomly remember from my past. If I was in his position and was really attracted to you, I could see you pushing me away as almost hurtful, especially being someone that wants to spend time with you and make the most of every moment.

If he's happier than you've ever seen him, he could've have moved on and gone elsewhere in his life. Though I doubt that he has completely forgotten about you.

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charlie
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posted May 12, 2019 03:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for charlie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You rang?

I have Moon, Sun, Mercury sq Pluto and to be honest with you: I don’t like insecure people, at all. It really turns me off.

Also, a man once told me that yes, men like the “chase” as it’s their nature to chase but if they are being turned down too many times they’ll take the hint and leave. Usually for good.

As for the retaliation/revenge....yes, probably..

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kani
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posted May 12, 2019 08:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for kani     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
If ****** off or hurt one too many times I disappear for good. Enough is enough. I turn cold on that person, too, although it might be out of self preservation and not because the feelings really disappeared. But I have the strong feeling that the other one is not worth it. That doesn't just go for romantic relationships but also friendships. I have moon tightly sqaured Pluto

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scorpiogirl
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posted May 12, 2019 09:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for scorpiogirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Don't be so sure that he's moved on and is completely happy without you just because that's what he looks like on social media. There must be a part of him that's missing you since he tried again and again to make it work no matter how determined he is to move on.

What was his reaction when you told him about your mental problems?

*I forgot - 8th House moon here with a semis quare to Pluto.

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Bismarck2
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posted May 12, 2019 10:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Bismarck2     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by saadsarah8:
I'll try to keep this as short as possible. I met this guy about 6 months ago, we have excellent synastry aspects including his venus conjunct my asc., his moon conjunct my venus, his pluto square my venus, his pluto square my sun, his pluto opposite my mars, his moon square my mars, his saturn square my venus, his saturn conjunct my mars. Heavily intense & plutonic connection.


A lot of these aspects sound horrible, and your description of the relationship is about what I'd expect to see from a relationship with these aspects.

Speaking as a guy, I can tell you most guys don't dwell on past relationships AFTER we move on to another woman. We're not like women, who cling to their memories of people who are no longer in their life.

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saadsarah8
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posted May 12, 2019 11:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for saadsarah8     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
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ChildofVenus
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posted May 12, 2019 11:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
As a person with Moon square Pluto I can tell you that it takes a lot for us to trust people and really let someone in. But when we finally do and the person hurts or mistreats us we will just walk away.

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kani
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posted May 12, 2019 11:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for kani     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Bismarck2:

Speaking as a guy, I can tell you most guys don't dwell on past relationships AFTER we move on to another woman. We're not like women, who cling to their memories of people who are no longer in their life.



Most women don't dwell either, so it's a personality rather than a gender thing after all. I know several men who still dwell on their past relationships with their exes despite being in long term relationships with other women. They just don't really talk about things like that with other men.

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kani
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posted May 12, 2019 11:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for kani     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
As a person with Moon square Pluto I can tell you that it takes a lot for us to trust people and really let someone in. But when we finally do and the person hurts or mistreats us we will just walk away.

I fully agree with that.

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Electro DGX
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posted May 12, 2019 03:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Electro DGX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Moon in Virgo and Mercury in Virgo might explain it. I've known lots of strong Virgo people and they always tend to make it clear that they can be "cold-hearted". If they feel they have been wronged or that their trust has been broken (aka being lied to) then they will just completely cut people off from their lives. A lot of times it is a defense mechanism; with Moon-Pluto it can bring this desire to extend to extremes with it.

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Astra
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posted May 12, 2019 09:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Astra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm a woman with moon square pluto. I do not dwell on past relationships. When someone disrespects me, my opinion of that person decreases significantly. I simply walk away and move on. Life is too short to put up with abuse from others.

Do I think he has forgotten your existence? No. Do I think he cares about you in a romantic way anymore? No. Do I think he is done with you? Absolutely.

Your best bet is to move on and learn from your mistakes. BPD is very hard to handle and can make relationships with others very challenging. You should seek treatment and counseling before pursuing any other relationships.

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Hikaru29
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posted May 13, 2019 11:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by kani:
Most women don't dwell either, so it's a personality rather than a gender thing after all. I know several men who still dwell on their past relationships with their exes despite being in long term relationships with other women. They just don't really talk about things like that with other men.

Agree. Exes to me are 'gone with the wind' once I find a new love, or sometimes before. I don't linger once that emotional investment is over.

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Hikaru29
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posted May 13, 2019 11:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by saadsarah8:
I'll try to keep this as short as possible. I met this guy about 6 months ago, we have excellent synastry aspects including his venus conjunct my asc., his moon conjunct my venus, his pluto square my venus, his pluto square my sun, his pluto opposite my mars, his moon square my mars, his saturn square my venus, his saturn conjunct my mars. Heavily intense & plutonic connection.

A lot of those aspects you listed are actually very challenging. Saturn square Venus can cause affection to turn cold and Moon square Mars is a heated emotions aspect.

Anyway, I don't think he will ever forget you (and this is not peculiar to Hades Moon people) but it seems like he has decided that you were too much to handle. I don't really blame him though... if someone keeps giving me the drama-mama and pushing me away, I get sick of it too. The mercurial Virgo cannot rationalise too much emotions tbh, and btw are you sure his Moon is in Virgo since you don't know his ToB?

Are you seeking help for your BPD?

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scorpiogirl
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posted May 14, 2019 08:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for scorpiogirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Clearly you're better off without him! I hope you're receiving help for your condition. He kinda sounds like an ******* or maybe it's my anti Leo bias speaking.

Anyway, it's already hard to handle health issues - add other people and it becomes even harder.

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Dumuzi
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posted May 14, 2019 09:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by saadsarah8:
Thank you all for your replies, I really appreciate them.

As for his chart, he has sun in leo, venus in cancer, mercury in virgo & mars in sag. Don't know his ascendant. His moon in virgo squares his pluto in sag & saturn in gemini.

I figure he had already decided he was done with me, but agreed to see me one more time to string me along. He was distant I could tell, but tried to carry on telling me how he loved me etc., even though I could tell he wasn't being genuine. When I told him about my bpd, he was.. silent. No reaction from him whatsoever. When I tried to explain to him that I'm not a bad person at heart, he didn't agree/disagree with that. He was very nonchalant. (again, which is fine). He talked to me for a week after that, trying to act normal, but it was clear to me that his i love you's and his conversations were forced. Then he disappeared.

I guess it's true what they say about plutonian relationships,, they're very transformative. Being with him has brought into light my deep insecurities & fears in love.


have you considered that maybe he tried but couldn't picture dealing with it for the rest of his life with you? personality disorders have no cure, it's not something you can turn off and that's something anyone with you is going to have to accept

it's often very painful and intense to be around someone with that issue, and ups and downs are so extreme it can be a nightmare

part of what charatarizes it are unstable intense relationships so what you had with him was just typical for someone with your issues

i understand people with it can be good people outside of their disorder, but that doesn't make it easier if anything that makes it harder

that all being said hard venus-saturn and hard venus-mars are terrible in my experience i had them with a fwbs (who had a moon-pluto conjunction in sag) his saturn was right on my descendant so it was conjunct my moon, opposite my venus, and square my mars and i felt nothing for him and couldn't

he had venus on my ic but i didnt feel any of that, apparently i really hurt him when i ended that, but i never wouldve guessed it he told other people how he felt about me but never me and i didnt enjoy sex with him much it was alright in the sense that it was sex but he enjoyed the entire everything more than i did lol he did say it was cool when i told him i wasnt really feeling it, but he hasn't spoken to me at all since and i know he holds grudges and ****

i was also with a chick who had moon in taurua opposite pluto and mars in scorpio (her mars-pluto were conjunct by 1 degree) and she could hold grudges and have feelings for a long time but i found her exhausting in a lot of ways

the reality is though that you can only drag a person through so much **** before most will walk away, and having a personality disorder like that is essentially saying "this will be your life with me" even if you manage it there will always be issues

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Dumuzi
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posted May 14, 2019 09:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by scorpiogirl:
Clearly you're better off without him! I hope you're receiving help for your condition. He kinda sounds like an ******* or maybe it's my anti Leo bias speaking.

Anyway, it's already hard to handle health issues - add other people and it becomes even harder.


it's your anti leo bias speaking, your average person isnt going to be able to date someone with bpd longterm and the guy didnt do anything wrong other than ghost her but he probably didnt know how to deal with her really after he gave her that last chance so he avoided it altogether

not the best, but it happens and they didnt know each other long anyway so there's not as much obligation in that case ultimately

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saadsarah8
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posted May 14, 2019 10:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for saadsarah8     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
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ChildofVenus
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posted May 14, 2019 10:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by saadsarah8:
I feel somewhat attacked by some of the comments here.

While I acknowledge my mistakes, he was no angel. Even from the very beginning of our relationship, he would take days to return my texts and would always pretend he's busy, even though I knew he wasn't. He was manipulative & constantly told me about other girls that were trying to get with him in order to make me jealous. He was already chatting up other girls long before we broke up, and was generally extremely passive-aggressive.

Anyway, I am seeking treatment for bpd yes.


So why didn't walk away then? If this all started to occur as soon as the relationship started?

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Dumuzi
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posted May 14, 2019 01:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by saadsarah8:
I feel somewhat attacked by some of the comments here.

While I acknowledge my mistakes, he was no angel. Even from the very beginning of our relationship, he would take days to return my texts and would always pretend he's busy, even though I knew he wasn't. He was manipulative & constantly told me about other girls that were trying to get with him in order to make me jealous. He was already chatting up other girls long before we broke up, and was generally extremely passive-aggressive.

Anyway, I am seeking treatment for bpd yes.



if you're referring to anything i've said i know people with cluster b personality disorders, and i know firsthand it's a rough thing to be around

i'm aware it's hard for the people who have it too, and i can like someone in spite of that kind of thing but caring usually does make that sort of thing harder because then the roller coaster emotions the person has directly affect you

it's hard for all parties involved, and that's why people generally walk away or have a hard time seeing the person behind the disorder

does that mean i don't see their good sides? nah, both sides can be there and i'm sure you do have good qualities

so me acknowledging that side of things wasn't an attack or me saying the guy was an angel (i mentioned 2 people with moon-pluto who weren't angels and i mentioned the synastry aspects that i could have seen being negative)

though now that you've said more i'm not understanding what you were attached to or taking seriously if the entire time there were other women and he was jerking you around, seems like from the beginning he wasnt serious and him ghosting you isn't really a surprise either

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saadsarah8
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posted May 14, 2019 02:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for saadsarah8     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
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Dumuzi
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posted May 14, 2019 02:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by saadsarah8:

It wasn't anything you said in your comment, no. On the contrary, I found what you said very reasonable & I agree with you: the relationship was toxic on both our sides, and we just weren't going to be able to work it out.

The question I had in mind was whether or not I still mean anything to him. I am already aware of my issues & that I need to work on them.

Thank you for your comments =)


alright i know i can come off like an ******* and be insensitive so i wanted to be sure you realized that i don't think you're a **** person just because you've got some issues like that, is what it is and you recognizing it is always a positive means there's ways to try to work with it at least

i can't tell you how he feels if there's anything but the two people i was with who had hard moon-pluto held onto a lot of things for a long time but would still walk away and not look back for anything even if they did

to be honest it sounds like he had the sort of personality that only served to aggravate your issues anyway

i'm curious what would him still having feelings do for you at the end of everything? is it just a need for closure or what?

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saadsarah8
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posted May 14, 2019 06:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for saadsarah8     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
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Dumuzi
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posted May 14, 2019 08:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by saadsarah8:
A little bit of closure. I'd say I'm 80% over it and am coming to accept it more and more.

this is one of those cases where only time (and maybe a rebound) is going to help, and honestly probably not looking at his social media anymore you're only torturing yourself

i'm curious, do you really think if he wasnt over you that'd make moving on easier? if you knew he wasn't and were sure of it wouldn't that make it harder? there would be more what if's then anyway i'd imagine

it sounds like you've learned a lot from the experience, and have been able to really look at yourself and your actions and how that can damage relationships which can help you improve when you meet someone who treats you better and who isn't playing games and can maybe be more open to being understanding of your issues and that you're trying to work on them

sometimes closure doesn't come from the other person, but it can come from what you learn and take with you when you move on

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saadsarah8
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posted May 14, 2019 09:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for saadsarah8     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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