posted August 10, 2019 05:09 AM            

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Originally posted by Moonbeth:
O my, I cannot count the times I've had "experienced in the sack" if only they knew... I feel just as helpless as you do, it's quite terrorising.
I never show pictures of myself to people I don't know, I'm not even sure I have pictures of myself besides ID and over 15 years ago lol Not very much into that appearance thing.
I remember being a virgin and being told by other adult women that they could tell I enjoyed sex from looking at my eyes... in public, in front of men of various ages, going for drinks after an artistic workshop. Later that same week, chatting with a colleague at a street intersection, some homeless-adjacent bloke started to talk to us and I recoiled with my usual potential attack face (I can feel extra defensive) and as he walked away he told my friend "you're very pretty but she, she has a body that men love". I had slimmed from obese after an eating disorder erupting in childhood at that time, and no, men didn't like my body or at least if they did they had a very strange way of expressing it criticising all the time and disrespecting me for it (it seems that when I lost the weight it was for them, that I invited them to comment on my body that I had put it on the market, everybody seems to feel that way, men and women, I was no longer considered a friend to many after I lost the weight, and not even all of it, it happened quite quickly).
I regularly get impossibly hurtful comments when partaking in physical activities such as gym classes etc..., often made to others about me in my presence (I could kill for that, so rude) such as "hmm I can tell she likes the contact" or "she does want it, look".
Just like you I'm very modest in my clothing, I'm a queen of yoga outfits in shades of beige/grey and black, I wear very little makeup if any and while I had recovered from my eating disorder and reached my health weight at 23, pill ruined me and propelled me into chronic illness with unexplained weight gains (it comes and goes, it's awful) when I was 28 so by now my body is very damaged and I struggle to feel wholly comfy about it, I'm very close to my body, it's a tool to me, I love doing things with it: walking, swimming... so to be impeached when the weight goes out my control makes me very sad and hurt, but also in such a context I have zero ability to care for what others think of it, it's MY body). I still get the raunchy comments though people focus on my eyes, it's as if, when my body looks bad to them, they'll comment on my eyes and how I look the most, but either way, there's always something. I can't really pinpoint it because the comments are rarely about my body (I'm so very closed) but about my eyes mostly and from that it triggers assumptions on what I do with my body.
People think of me as someone who likes a LOT of sex, very dirty... all the opposite of my actual life and how private and emotional I am regarding sex. If I'm at a "good weight", people belittle me for having a humour deficit if I don't take it well, saying it's a compliment, I'm at a "bad weight" it's closer to an insult, people lecture me about I'll never get what I want if I don't take care of myself. The concept of chronic illness is lost on the masses.
I don't go out anymore; never really enjoyed it anyway, because of that. Having everyone, men and woman, insist on you fancying so and so just because they made you laugh or you smiled to them, or having strangers assume you want sex. **** it, I don't even know what wanting sex means. Sex on its own is nothing to me. I couldn't be sexy to save my life either! lol
So yes, it massively sucks and honestly it's a form of rape, my desires, my conscience or mine just as much as my body and I should have the right to fancy who I want and be the only judge of that and not have people tell me who I want inside of me.
I think my Venus conjunct ASC makes me highly approachable which could be what makes people so prone to commenting (don't know if you have that aspect), and the overly sexual component probably is my mars in Scorpio, sadly for people it also is the thing that may one day make me physically react with the violence they put on me, because those comments to me feel like physical assault.

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Wow I don’t think my problem could even compare to yours. You’ve had it hard. I cant imagine how awful it feels for people to constantly say things like that to you. It’s awful. What makes them say those things?! People are just... ugh 🤦🏻‍♀️ A big reason why I feel uncomfortable out in public a lot of times. I think that stuff happens way too often. You are are modest and not sexual yet somehow they assume you are sexual like as if their assumption is right. Ive gotten these comments just through the internet but I can’t imagine if it happened in real life... I would be so uncomfortable. I don’t know how you do it. You are strong. To just be like screw it! It’s a difficult mentality to obtain but Im slowly getting there I think. Maybe the Venus is to blame! I dont have Asc conjunct Venus but I have Venus in the 1st. I get what you mean about people thinking that being friendly or smiling means flirting. I have Saturn in the 1st house and Aqua ascendent so I probably seem stand-offish at first so maybe it helps me not come off as a flirt. But I rarely smile at guys unless they smile at me because I don’t want to give the wrong impression.
Ugh it’s awful you go through that. Hopefully it doesn’t continue and things have gotten better.
And yes girl be happy in your body! It’s for you not anyone else! That’s what matters most. If we give in to what we think people around us want us to be we will never be happy! You know how often I had people push their ideas on dating, sex, relationships in general on me? People might think it’s the opposite but I feel everything is too sexualized! I have had people push dating on me. I say Im not ready to date or I don’t want to date just for “fun” they think it’s weird. Like In supposed to be in a relationship. I shouldn’t be single. Or I should date a certain type of person that is their ideal not mine. Im sure you’ve gone through it too. People want to control your life and tell you how things should be. It’s your life not theirs. You cant help but feel pressure. And then you feel you must think or feel or certain way! Very frustrating

posted August 10, 2019 05:48 PM            

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Originally posted by SoulOfABird:
Wow I don’t think my problem could even compare to yours. You’ve had it hard. I cant imagine how awful it feels for people to constantly say things like that to you. It’s awful. What makes them say those things?! People are just... ugh 🤦🏻‍♀️ A big reason why I feel uncomfortable out in public a lot of times. I think that stuff happens way too often. You are are modest and not sexual yet somehow they assume you are sexual like as if their assumption is right. Ive gotten these comments just through the internet but I can’t imagine if it happened in real life... I would be so uncomfortable. I don’t know how you do it. You are strong. To just be like screw it! It’s a difficult mentality to obtain but Im slowly getting there I think. Maybe the Venus is to blame! I dont have Asc conjunct Venus but I have Venus in the 1st. I get what you mean about people thinking that being friendly or smiling means flirting. I have Saturn in the 1st house and Aqua ascendent so I probably seem stand-offish at first so maybe it helps me not come off as a flirt. But I rarely smile at guys unless they smile at me because I don’t want to give the wrong impression.
Ugh it’s awful you go through that. Hopefully it doesn’t continue and things have gotten better.
And yes girl be happy in your body! It’s for you not anyone else! That’s what matters most. If we give in to what we think people around us want us to be we will never be happy! You know how often I had people push their ideas on dating, sex, relationships in general on me? People might think it’s the opposite but I feel everything is too sexualized! I have had people push dating on me. I say Im not ready to date or I don’t want to date just for “fun” they think it’s weird. Like In supposed to be in a relationship. I shouldn’t be single. Or I should date a certain type of person that is their ideal not mine. Im sure you’ve gone through it too. People want to control your life and tell you how things should be. It’s your life not theirs. You cant help but feel pressure. And then you feel you must think or feel or certain way! Very frustrating

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