posted September 23, 2019 04:30 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Capguy75:
My ex-wife was a Gemini Sun/Cappy Moon.

All the Geminis I have known have been very rational in thought but also very prone to throwing toddler-like tantrums when they don't get their way (not saying all Geminis are like this - but it does seem to be a trend in a fair few, given the likes of Trump and Britain's new Gemini PM Boris Johnson.)

Another thing I've heard is that Geminis like to be thought of as the good guys. Even when they are patently not. In my case, my ex-wife hated the idea that her actions might be cause people to think badly of her. So this is what I used to my advantage. Make sure any requests are for the greater good - as opposed to a personal request - so that he can deduce that failing to agree will paint him in a bad social light.

That said, these requests really have to be for the greater good. If you try spinning something selfish in this light you'll likely come unstuck.

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posted September 23, 2019 09:48 AM            

And, how long have you been married to him?
What's your story...

posted October 01, 2019 09:59 PM            

I get used to call "my" baby instead "ours" since he questioned who's its father when I was two months pregnant (like, seriously?). We had big argument at that time, mainly about his infidelity history during our relationship. It started when I told him that I still got weird dreams about him being unfaithful/dishonest about something I didn't know (it was like a sharing discussion, but he took it to the next level).

You know, the first time I knew he lied to me -- hiding his unfinished relationship with his ex -- was when I got a weird dream about him with a woman and it seemed they still had unfinished business and I told him like I didn't believe my dream then I saw his eyes/body languages, I asked him if my dream was really true and he said it was just a dream and I should not believe it, but later the truth came out. I had continued dreams which later came out true everytime he sneaked out behind my back.

Talking about a dream, I don't always get a dream, but everytime I get a dream it's always like a real thing but I don't always know what it means because part of me doesn't want to believe it and it gives me a headache.

Back to the topic..

During our 6 months separation, he asked for a DNA test, but I knew what he meant, he just wanted to see me and my baby got home because he believed my family influenced me (it's not true) so he wanted to separate me and my family first. The baby resembles his more than me, anyone can see that, but it didn't mean I objected his request, with one condition if the result told his then we must had amicable divorce, which few days later he told me he just wanted me and our baby home.

Yes, my big family is quite religious, so it was quite "INTENSE" too during those 6 months. I lost a lot of weight instantly. Like Cancer Mars favourite thing to do (or they don't realize it), they blame me for everything mess -- it looks like trying to make me feel a guilt.

I consider a lot of things, so I come for a result that I should do "a smoother" way, well, maybe a little manipulative way which I don't know how to do, should learn from some..

The only peace we could find if I submit to his, but I can not submit to ego and his ego is HUGE. I also can sense how he is very mistrustful of other since his ex, double doses, so for some people it's easy to influence him to be suspicious of other people which the easy target is me.

He doesn't initiate any charges, legal, against me for 'Child Snatching', but he did trying to threaten me several times and I reminded him how he treated me since two months pregnancy where he had stated and refused the child is his, he even indirectly asked me to do an abortion by offering me if I wanted to drink "a drug" while at the same time saying he hoped not (???), he often sparked an argument between us by accusing me with projection accusations - also saying mean words during my pregnancy (he put me and my baby under dangerous situation because it made me under stress, cried a lot, full with resentment, which is made my feelings today), he also didn't care like a husband put an extra attention or care to his pregnant wife (which later I found out his family influenced him to keep suspicious whose child I was bearing and his paranoia Scorpio Mom had a strong influence in our marriage through him, she tried to control our marriage life by trying to stir him to stir me... also those stupid test is quite annoying, like, if you don't like me or trust me, go away, don't even try to enter my life's bubble and don't try to touch my peaceful mind with those crazy stupid mind. Don't judge people with tests, it must be with time as sooner or later the mask will fall off).

The reason I moved out from our home is because he yelled at me to get out from the house and to take my two months old baby with me, just after I complained how I felt abandoned after giving birth (that I need his support) and how his family violated my/our privacy where I wanted a quiet/peaceful environment at the moment (which I call it, they have little respect about boundaries on my/our marriage).

I don't think he respects me about anything, I don't think he respects me as a Mother too, hes only scared about something I don't know. His family has a little respect to tradition or value, they only try to manipulate the look, I've seen how they actually treat people behind and it's projected through him. They want to know all about you but hide themselves. They often only use people for their own advantage and highly defensive people. If we look through from the positive side, probably their family had gone through bad things a lot. But the choice to become a better or a worse self is their own decision.

My family told me that I am too strong as a woman, because those are too painful to handle (even to hear what I experience with him in the relationship) and I still want a peaceful end. No, I don't think that I am strong, I just want a real close book. If we continue to fight, the book keeps writing and the more emotional baggage I/we carry. I am tired with all of those no end emotional rollercoaster.

I do want to work things out but also I am opened with the possibility we must end the marriage if we don't happy/it doesn't work out. I have told him, maybe his personality/lifestyle/views suit others better than with me, so maybe we are happier with someone else than being stucked unhappy. He never responds to it, I don't understand.

If I try to put myself in his shoes, well, it's just too much to handle and it has a little chance to change what has made.

There are some major background differences between us too that is opposite to each other, it's also something I see in the future that we will continue to clash.

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My placement // his placement

(Jan) Aqua sun // (June) Gemini sun
Aries moon // Capricorn moon
Aqua mercury // Cancer mercury
Sagittarius mars // Cancer mars
Pisces venus // Gemini venus

Scorpio pluto // same
Aries jupiter // same
Sagittarius uranus // same
Sagittarius saturn // same
Capricorn neptune // same

posted October 14, 2019 04:20 PM            

Any suggestion/trick how to make this Gemini sit down and talk without being angry and emotional everytime the topic about divorce?

How to make this Gemini cooperative?

posted October 15, 2019 05:02 PM            

Anyway, I think the best way is for the Aquarian to be strong enough so that the Gemini being a mutable sign will start casting doubt on there decisions.

But...that's also why he doesn't want a divorce, the Gemini needs Aquarius for there firmness otherwise all mutable signs become reckless flakes without a stronger fixed sign.