posted September 27, 2019 04:55 PM            

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by teasel:
[b]It can be more difficult to date, as you get older. I've heard that from a lot of people, and experienced it myself.

I am also weary of this. But this is offset by the fact that I attract so many young people. Guys looking for "Daddys". [/B]

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posted September 27, 2019 06:19 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
It can be more difficult to date, as you get older. I've heard that from a lot of people, and experienced it myself.

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Yeah.. I remember that. It's like having the sense that 'the good ones' are already taken--
or, they turn out to be gay { wink at Aries23 }

*ahem* As you age, you grow more "efficient" and discriminating in selection of people, of dating only those who would have the possibility of becoming a mate.

{{Make sure to get a FULL criminal background check on the ones you think you're getting very serious about. If I had done that, I would have seen.}}

As far as not having a chance at 'testing out' the goods {no sex before marriage}.. I had done that. I honored his request. Thought he had marvelous discipline and was virtuous and good. Turned out that he had a problem in that area and never told me about it.
.. If you're 'engaged' .. if your spirit doesn't negate it, then 'try' things out. Better to know before-hand if there's any problem to be sorted out.

The other consideration (at least, for ME), is to BE, then marry, a Best Friend.

posted September 27, 2019 11:46 PM            

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Originally posted by mirage29:
Plut0nian??? LOL. Never say never?
Sometimes when you're not-looking, the person that's for 'you' can be drawn towards you. You have Capricorn Desc…, Cancer ASC. You want Loyalty and an assuredness about the other. Forever single?? .. or a person who is loyally Committed to you in a forever way? Someone you can Trust will not abandon ship just because adversity shows up in your life (which, guaranteed, it does)? Having the Right Partner can make SUCH a difference in life. ..

It takes a good portion of mutual self-sacrifice to stay in a (functional) relationship. {If he/she is abusing you, then PLEASE get-out!!!! or you'll be damaged, more than just your body AND!!!! your finances... experience-talking here.}
(music) Evangeline (Little Big Town) [4:33] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6R_A1X_cJI

Sometimes being 'single' IS the answer for some.
You don't want to fall prey.....

You can approach things through 'contract' that is NOT forever.

But you are Blessed if you find a mate who is truly truly Good inside, and Devoted in a way of making a Bond called a spiritual Covenant {instead of only a contractual agreement, subject to fail 'if' the other person changed their mind?}.

This really pays off after midlife transits, and after your Chiron Return, to have someone who knows, cares, and companions you into your mature-years, your elderhood... when your looks are not spring-chicken anymore. LOL.

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Hello mirage

Well if I had to choose, I would choose single forever and never being in love again. That's the best case scenario, my ideal and it would make me the happiest.

I'm not one of these people that good things (of any kind) just happen to them. I don't mind that, I just wish the same applied when it comes to out of nowhere bad things.

Yes loyalty is so important and so difficult to find, cheating at least at some point (probably no more than a couple of years, if even that) is a given nowadays.

I don't personally see the point to be in a relationship without that kind of loyalty.
Never wanted to get married or have children, I need lots of alone time and I can have a good time alone or with friends. I'm not the type to rely on others anyway, I prefer having money and paying someone to help me when the time comes.

I've had that special relationship with my father and then with 2 of my friends. It can't get any better than that. Before losing them I considered myself so lucky, some people don't even get the chance to experience even half of such a bond. After losing them I feel like it would be better for me emotionally, mentally and physically if I hadn't experienced those relationships in the first hand. At this point I'm even wondering if it's healthy to bond so much with someone, not that you can control it..

posted October 05, 2019 09:07 PM            

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Originally posted by teasel:
Age doesn't guarantee maturity, but you should go with how you feel.

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Absolutely right.
I'm 37 but not enough mature to marry someone and take responsibility.

posted October 05, 2019 10:30 PM            

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Originally posted by Somna7H:
Absolutely right.
I'm 37 but not enough mature to marry someone and take responsibility.

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I think I am mature enough for that, but I no longer think that I'd be a good mother. The thought of it feels too overwhelming now.

posted October 06, 2019 01:05 PM            

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Originally posted by teasel:
I think I am mature enough for that, but I no longer think that I'd be a good mother. The thought of it feels too overwhelming now.

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posted October 06, 2019 04:53 PM            

Being a single-for-life, is Cool.
Some folks are called to it!
Don't neglect your need for closeness with another human being (that goes further than just the sex). FEEL 'cared' for. Get hugged like they mean it with their heart.

Don't give up the 'dream' that there might be someone with that same kind of loyalty and love {unconditional} that you experienced with the other 3 people. .. No need to search for it in a pressured way. Just live your life. Sometimes you never know if the ones you labor with {Capr} could become closer than just-friend.
{With tPluto in your 7th, you can draw an important soul into your life who could play a vital role in helping your life. With tSaturn, could have long-lasting sense to it.}
I knew a couple who married with tSaturn towards end of H7. Both were near their 2nd Saturn Returns. These were 2nd-Marriages, and they have a business together. Very happy.

*~ MidLife Transits
It's okay that you feel the way you do right now.
You're transitioning into a new passage of time right now. Entering a 'corridor' {40s decade}. In a way, it's a summing up, and processing of your life up-till-then. You softly {become aware of sometimes} that you've closed out a phase of your earlier life, and turn towards what's ahead.

This 2nd phase of your life begins without too much 'notice' of it, unless you know about it. Span of 40~42+ is a segue way into a new beginning. The Uranus Opp Uranus (very-slow transit) marks this transition into your next phase {2nd half}.

Committed relationships
Some long-term relationships go through that added Uranus restlessness and stress during those years.
If the couple can stay, make allowances, and adjust to it--, then past Chiron Return, the relationship might feel as though it's had a rebirth. Fresh start.
You're with someone you've done the "work" of sifting all the personality and character-kinks out with, with lots of history behind you (nostalgia). You get a 2nd wind. There's comradery and companionship with a comfortable Friend to enjoy the elder years with, later on.
{BH Clow}.

So. Back to what I was saying..
There are shifts and realizations that occur gradually during those transits.

Once you're generally over the mid-40s, there could be an awareness and sense that things really-have changed in ways you hadn't expected. {Matured further, and a sense of breakthrough becomes present-- relief?} Another kind of energetic wrap-up happens by 46 and through to 49/50. -- By that time you may have a sense that 'you've got this', as you approach the finale of that time-passage-- your Chiron-Return. ..

Once the Chiron Return has had enough separation time, your 50s may feel quite different once-more-- another mini-breakthrough-clearing.

I 'liked' the energy past that Return. Was more soothing. Life-itself had a sense of 'sweetness' I'd not experienced before. Some body things that had been nagging and plaguing (in 40s), with the Chiron Return, managed to COMPLETELY disappeared on its own.

At Ur Opp Ur ..
Some people get married, and even start a 2nd family {surprise baby}. -- I had known couples like that.

Some women sense that 'biological-clock' urgency. Start process of menopause past Ur opp Ur?

*~

Teasel. Thanks for sharing.
And I DO understand the added 'energy years and tears' of being a mom, in later years of life. Don't do it-- unless it's a burning desire, and you've made ALL the considerations about age-stage you and child would be when older. .. Young teen Adolescence + Menopausing.
{hormone-fun? *grin* ~~ huge blessings on that house!! }

Again Plut0nian..
I understand wanting to remain in status-quo, rather than have old wounds stirred up and refreshed?

Then too??, a person who comes into your life and actually IS a really good person, can do much towards providing a Healing corrective experience.

~
Oh.
I don't like "players" either.

I hate all the deceiving and out-rite LIES involved with dating. {SOME people find that 'fun'? .. nope. not-me.}

You don't know if they are presenting an image of their 'false' self-- Then, when you begin to be more interested, you 'learn' that this person was liar??

Intensely dislike some of the tactics I've seen taught before-- that you "woo" the woman, then, stiffly insult her when she shows interest?? ~THAT's supposed to attract her to you?

{Waste of time}

I'd like the kind of relation I described earlier to Plut0nian-- For example, to be involved in an activity or work project, and become close friends.

At the root of self, I'm more geared towards the role of a help-mete. A supporter and cheerleader for the dreams of others. And, I'd want to be unconditionally Loved and Cherished.

Would be cool to be in a Best Friends/ There-for-you/ Companions kind of relationship .. for the remainder of lifetime. I really like long-term relationships.

Have you ever watched the movie, The Horse Whisperer?

I really appreciated Robert Redford in this role. Soul whisperer.

(music) A Soft Place To Fall (Allison Moorer, actor Robert Redford, K.Thomas, [I]The Horse Whisperer[/b]) [2:44] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oedoFqEZJgY

posted October 06, 2019 05:16 PM            

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Originally posted by Somna7H:
Absolutely right.
I'm 37 but not enough mature to marry someone and take responsibility.

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